Broken
by cheekycharlie
Summary: AH. Bella dates a senior. But not all is well. Her best friend struggles with serious issues & when Bella uncovers the truth her boyfriend offers no comfort. She turns to a New guy for help which makes him jealous & things turn ugly. Can he save her?
1. Prologue

**A/N **

**This is my first FanFic and its been alot of fun writing it so far. A big thanks has to go out to angelnlove52 who convinced me to put this up and helped with the editing. :)**

**I hope you enjoy and please review - any questions and comments are welcome along with any ideas you may have. I will update soon if you are keen for more :)**

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1. Prologue

"You just don't get it do you? If I can't have her. No. One. Can!"

At those words I dropped to my knees. "Please" I begged but the phone was silent. And then I heard a scream that shattered my world before the phone went dead, my hands all but crushing it. "Please" I whispered again, "I love her" I cried, but it was too late.

He had her.

I had no idea where she was....

And if I didn't find her and soon, it was clear that I would never see her again.

"NO!" I screamed out in frustration smashing my fist into the floorboards.

She was my everything. If I lost her, my world would be forever thrust into darkness. If she ceased to exist, so would my reason for being.

I couldn't bear to think like this. I had to do something. I had promised to protect her and I had failed...

NO! Not yet, there had to be time. I pulled myself up from the floor and started to run.

**BPOV**

He had me pinned to the wall. His forearm pressed against my throat. I couldn't breathe. Black spots began to form in my vision. _I can't give up, I won't, for him_, I thought. _Stay alive_ for_ him. _

Suddenly he released me and I sank to the floor. Lying there with my cheek pressed to the cold floor boards I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable to happen. _Don't scream, _I told myself_, don't give him the satisfaction._

I wanted so badly to give up, to give in to the heaviness that pressed down upon my body, crushing me. I coughed and blood pooled in the back of my throat. I tried to lift myself up from the floor but I couldn't move. My arms were useless and felt like lead. But it didn't matter, the cool floor felt good against my battered, broken body.

He was talking to someone and I caught the last of his words "...No. One. Can." he hissed through his teeth. He walked over and sighed. I tried to get up, _come on_, I willed myself. But I still couldn't move. He nudged one of my legs separating it from the other. I opened my eyes and looked at him, he stared back. _Please_, I thought staring at him, pleading with my eyes. Something shifted briefly in his, an emotion I couldn't place and then they were dead. He dropped my gaze but not before bringing his foot down on my leg, with force—breaking it. A piercing sound filled the air and it took only seconds for me to realise its origin. I was screaming.

He snapped shut the phone before throwing it at the floor near my face, shattering it. And so low I wasn't even sure I heard correctly he whispered. "I loved you... and you threw it all away."

"Most people don't repeatedly beat those they love to within an inch of their lives." I countered, not sure if my words were audible.

"I guess you're right." He called as he exited the room, closing the door behind him and thrusting my world into darkness.

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**A/N Please review, I will have just added another Chapter. :)**


	2. The Party

2. The Party.

I was lying on a bed watching the room spin. In the opposite corner Jess was sitting in a small brown chair playing absent-mindedly with what looked like a phone line. It seemed like she was trying to plug it into her wrist.... _Wait. What_? I sat up and tried to focus on what was happening. Jess had a compass in her hand, not a phone line.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop!" I ran over and grabbed the compass from her hand, which was now covered in blood and threw it to the floor. And then I did something I instantly regretted. I slapped her.

Jess looked up with a tear stricken face and whispered, "why?"

_I don't know?_ "Because." I answered her without so much as giving her an answer. _I can't take this anymore_, I cried internally.

She was looking down at her hands which were streaked in blood and started to laugh. I looked at her briefly before I stormed out of the room and into the hallway throwing my fist through the wall in front of me.

As I stumbled down the hall I shoved others out of my way. People turned to watch me, noticing that I had begun to cry, even though that realization had been lost on me. As I stepped out onto the porch I ran into Jess's boyfriend, Mike.

"Why the tears Bells?" he asked. I looked at him confused before shaking my head.

"Why else?" I whispered. His eyes went dark; he turned and walked into the house. I was too numb to follow even though I knew I should. _Let someone else deal with it for once_, I begged myself.

_Why did I agree to this party? Why did I bring Jess along?_ I thought as I started the walk home. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to warm up and mentally cursed myself for not grabbing my jacket as I ran from the room. Lost in my thoughts I tripped on the footpath causing me to fall to my knees.

"Funny!" I screamed out loud before rolling over to inspect the damage.

"It looked rather painful to me," a voice called from behind.

I turned to see a tall guy approach. He was dressed in dark jeans and an overcoat. I tensed; I had no idea who he was, it was dark and I was alone.


	3. New In Town

3. New in Town

"I'm Edward Cullen." He said, either reading my mind or sensing my discomfort. He offered me his hand as was custom and to help me up. I ignored it and got up by myself.

"Bella," I grunted. Looking up at him. _My god he's gorgeous_.

"I'm new to Forks, just moved here." He grinned.

"Oh," I replied. _Nice response Bella you want him to think you're a moron_?

"Are you leaving the party so soon?" he asked in a velvet voice.

"It's late. School night." _Two worded sentences. Nice. _I thought sarcastically.

"You need a ride home?" He offered.

I looked pointedly at the beer in his hand before answering. "Sorry, my Dad's the chief of police, and I think he would frown upon me driving home with a drunk." _Sarcasm?! _

"No problem," he stated arrogantly, "my sister is actually picking me up in a minute, that's why I'm out here away from the party. She can give you a lift if you need. And for the record I think he may frown upon underage drinking too." _Damn._

"Yeah I guess. But it's not far, thanks." I turned to leave but felt him grab me around the waist.

"I have to insist. You have been drinking, which is clear, as you just tripped on a flat surface. It's dark. You're alone and without a jacket." He face was close to mine and I could feel my face redden, he smelt sweet like honey.

"If I say yes will you let me go?" I looked down at his arm wrapped around me, he followed my gaze and instantly released me. He agreed and set me down on the pavement but kept close enough that I could still feel his warmth. I think he was aware of this and that's why he remained near.

"I would offer you my jacket...but I'm guessing you would decline?" He chuckled.

"You would be right." I smiled back. We waited in silence for a few more minutes, keeping relatively close, before his sister turned up in a rather swanky looking silver Volvo. "Nice ride." I complimented, Edward nodded in agreement.

Edwards's sister was rather bubbly considering it was 2 in the morning. "I'm Alice." She offered in a high pitched sing song voice.

"Bella," I gave her in return, not really in the mood for chirpy chit chat. Edward was lying on the back seat of the silver Volvo snoring softly. "It's the one with the cliché white picket fence on the left." I told Alice. She pulled over and I thanked her quickly before getting out of the car, I looked at Edward but he was still asleep.

Alice laughed, "I'll see you at school tomorrow Bells."

"Sure." I smiled and said goodbye before turning to the house and letting myself in.

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**A/N - sorry its short but I've added a longer chapter next. Please R&R :)**


	4. Explanations & Confrontations

4. Explanations

I woke, groaned and rolled out of bed, falling to the floor with an audible thump. "Argh!" I groaned again. I felt like crap and when I looked in the mirror I looked exactly like it. _Never drinking again!_ I thought. _Why do they insist of having their baseball parties on a Thursday night anyway? It's ridiculous!_

When I made it to school I noticed a few of my friends were wearing similar expressions that indicated they were feeling similar to how I felt earlier this morning. Mike in particular looked more than worse for wear. I made my way over to where he was sitting in the cafeteria, his head in his hands. That's when I remembered I had left him to deal with Jess last night, I felt sick with guilt.

"So guess you've made the self promise to never drink again?" I joked. He looked up from his hands and grimaced, his eyes were red. "Mike... I'm sorry for leaving you last night.... It's just that...."

"You don't have to explain." He cut me off. "You always have to pick her up Bella, it's the least I could do. I am her boyfriend right?" The last part was more of a question, like he was unsure of what he was.

"Yeah I guess... So how is she?"

"The usual, she's not coming to school. Last... Last night, I thought I was going to have to take her to the hospital. She lost it Bella, more than usual. I didn't know what to do; I don't know what to do anymore." He shook his head. He looked close to tears. "Bella.... She's not the same anymore. She's not my Jess. She won't let me in; she won't tell me what happened. And it's getting worse."

Seeing Mike like that made me snap. What was her problem? Mike was right, it was getting worse and I was just as clueless as to what was going on as he was. She wouldn't tell me, would just shut down whenever I tried to broach the subject. Usually she would flip out and do a runner or just start screaming until you left. I tried to bring it up with her mother, but she didn't want to hear it. I decided to ditch first period and go round to Jess's, this was the last straw, I was going to find out what was going on.

I got up to leave but realised someone was standing next to me. "James is looking for you." He tossed in my direction before smirking at Mike. "So where's your little cheerleader today Mike?" Mike jumped upright and lunged at Laurent. I was just as mad as Mike was but I managed to push him back into his seat before giving him a look that meant leave it. Laurent was twice as big as Mike and Mike seemed to realise that.

"So where is he?" I spat in Laurent's direction clearly showing my disgust. He chuckled silently and indicated with his head towards James who was leaning against the cafeteria wall, his arms folded across his broad chest, he was looking at me with apparent disgust. I made my way over to where he was and looked him fiercely in the eye.

"Laurent said you were looking for me?" I was still angry at Laurent for the stunt he just pulled and it showed in my voice.

"Where did you go last night?" He asked, clearly mad.

"Home, Jess had an episode and I decided I was rather tired." I shrugged looking at him still unsure as to why he was being so cold.

"And how did you get home Bella?" He stood upright then, taking a step towards me. He appeared to be shaking and his hands were balled into fists. I had never seen him like this, well except when at a game when things got a little rough or he had too much to drink and someone pushed his buttons. He had never been angry with me and I couldn't fathom what I had done wrong.

"She got a ride home with me." A voice chirped from behind. I turned to see Alice smiling up a James, who had immediately calmed down. I noticed Jasper was now at his side and had an arm on his shoulder. "I'm Alice." She held out her hand which James shook lightly, Alice was petite and she seemed rather breakable.

"I told you it was nothing and Victoria was just making up things," Jasper said giving James a playful push. James turned back to me relief clear on his face.

"Victoria said she saw you getting into a car with a new kid, it's just that she implied it was a guy." He laughed.

_Stupid meddling bitch_, I thought. "It was." He looked at me confused and assessed Alice again. "Edward is Alice's brother he offered me a ride home when he saw me walking, told me his sister was picking him up." James' tensed but remained calm. Just then the bell went signalling class. James relaxed before leaning down to kiss me on the cheek.

"Sorry I forgot to say good morning but I'll see you at lunch." He called as he left the cafeteria. I turned to Alice and smiled.

"Boys?" I shrugged. She looked at me doubtfully but then smiled.

"Can I see you at lunch too?" She teased before skipping out of the cafeteria not giving me a chance to answer.

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Confrontation

I made it to Jess's before ten. Using the key she had once given me I entered through the front door. No one appeared to be home. It was quiet and no lights were on. I headed for Jess's room which was at the end of the hallway. I knocked and heard a muffled sound on the other side of her door. "Come in," Jess called. It sounded like she had been crying. I opened the door and saw that Jess was on her bed curled into the foetal position and had definitely been crying, that was evident from her bloodshot and swollen eyes.

"Hey Hun. How ya feeling?" I smiled at Jess. She looked up and gave me a grimace similar to the one Mike had given me this morning.

"Same old." She answered looking at her hands which held a well used hanky. She was wearing a long sleeved top but I could still see the fresh bandages that covered her arms.

"Jess we need to talk." She looked at me with a pleading face.

"I've had enough of being lectured; Mike gave me one hell of one last night." Sarcasm evident in her tired tone.

"Mikes actually the reason I'm here." I explained. I took a deep breath before continuing. "Jess, you should have seen him this morning. He is a mess; he is so concerned about you and its killing him." I walked over to sit on her bed taking her hand in mine. "He loves you, do you realise that? He cares so much Jess, but if you keep pushing him away, if you don't give him some answers, I'm not sure he will be able to keep it up. You need to give him some answers, you owe him that much, you owe me."

She shook her head. "Bells I can't."

"Jess we need to know why this is happening, what caused you to change. This isn't healthy behaviour and it needs to stop. If you don't let us help you, there's nothing we can do." I begged. At that she started to cry.

"It hurts so much Bells, I want it to stop. I want to make it all stop. I don't want to hurt you guys; I don't want Mike to be upset. I want to go back; I want to take it all back. But it won't stop, it won't." She was shaking.

"Jess what happened? I want to know the truth and I want it now!" I grabbed her more forcedly and shook her until she looked up at me. "Did someone hurt you?" She looked down at her hands and started to hyperventilate, answering my question. "Who?" I whispered. I started running through the possibilities. Mike? No he cared too much and was as bewildered as much as I was. Her Mum? She did seem to brush Jess's problems aside but I believed that was because she didn't want to think anything was wrong with her once perfect little girl but I couldn't think of anyone else.

"It doesn't matter Bells," Jess whispered. "Just let it go."

"Jess, I can't. This is eating you up, causing you to hurt yourself. Maybe talking to someone about it will lessen the pain. We're best buds you're meant to share everything with me. Did your Mum do something?" She shook her head sharply. "Mike?"

"No, not mike." She whispered. The way she answered the question made me believe that it was a male, but I couldn't think of anybody. Jess's father died when she was young, she hadn't had any other major relationships before Mike, she hadn't any brothers or cousins and I couldn't think of any significant male in her life that could cause her this much pain.

"It was a boy though?" I asked, lifting her chin with my finger until she looked me in the eyes. She nodded. "Tell me Jess."She took a deep breath and shuddered. "Is it a guy from school?" She nodded. "Our year?" She shook her head. "A senior?" She nodded again and looked at me eagerly, conveying that she found it easier when I guessed rather than telling me outright. "Do I know him?" Again she let me know I was on the right track. "Does he play in the school baseball team?" At this she stopped co-operating and wrapped her arms around her legs before resting her head on them. I had hit the nail on the head. "Jess did James do something?" The thought made my stomach crawl, I knew James didn't really like Jess, he thought of her as just another stupid blonde cheerleader. But I truly didn't want to believe that the guy I was with and cared about would intentionally cause someone I loved to hurt

"No, not James, Bells. I would have told you. I wouldn't let you stay with him if he was the one who..." Her sentence was cut short as a violent sob shook her body.

"Who what Jess?" I was starting to get more and more concerned about what had caused Jess to act out like this. Part of me wanted to believe what James had said, that she was just being attention seeking, like the group of girls at our school that were nick-named "The Slashers". But now it was clear that this wasn't a cry for attention. This was a way Jess was using to deal with pain; pain caused by a male that I knew, a male James played ball with and was therefore inevitably friends with.

Jess shook her head. This was getting frustrating. I decided I would go back to figuring out who had hurt her and go from there. I started to list names. "Kyle? Jasper? Emmett? Ace? Laurent?" At the last name Jess re-entered the foetal position and started to cry so hard I was sure the neighbours would hear.

"Laurent was the one who hurt you?" She stopped crying long enough to whisper, "Yes." That made my skin crawl. I de-tested Laurent; he was a pig and an utter Jerk. But he was James' friend, his best friend and also his flatmate, so I ignored him and put up with him for James' sake.

"Tell me what he did now Jess!" Jess rolled over to look at the wall as if she were too ashamed to answer me to my face. She then uttered three words that caused my stomach to drop and had me running from the room seeing red.

"He raped me."

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**A/N please R & R and tell me what you think :) More reviews = faster update. **


	5. Confrontation 2

5. Confrontation (2)

...

I almost ran from Jess's back to Forks High before I remembered I had driven. I made it back to school by Lunchtime so I knew exactly where that sorry excuse for an ass would be.

I entered the cafeteria still seeing red; I looked around before finding the table where the usual jocks hung out. James caught my eye and waved me over before turning back to Laurent jokingly pushing him in the arm. I began to storm over there when someone caught my arm.

"Hey Bella are you ok?" A velvet voice asked. I turned to see Edward staring at me, his gorgeous green eyes filled with concern. I felt my anger flounder as I looked up at him.

"I'm fine, let me go." He looked at me searching my face, obviously noticing that I was lying, his grip on my arm continued.

"She said let her go." I turned back around to see James standing in front of Edward and I. His fists bawled, he didn't look at me but stared straight at Edward with a look that caused me to shudder. Edward dropped my arm and for some unknown reason angled himself so he stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry I meant no disrespect. It's just that I was concerned that she was upset." Edward answered evenly trying to keep the situation under control.

"And what does it matter to you? Bella is my girlfriend, she is my concern. And in future you should keep your hands off her, if you are fond of keeping them that is." James' threatened. Edward raised his hands before backing away from James, he looked pointedly at me concern still showed on his face. He smiled reassuringly when he caught my eye before he turned and left the cafeteria. James turned to stare at me. Aware that half the school was staring he slipped his arm around my waist.

"So do you want to tell me why you managed to have the new guy all worked up with concern for you?" He asked with a coy grin on his face. Before I could answer someone interrupted.

"So what did that toss-pot want?" A voice that had me seeing red again called from behind. I spun breaking James' hold on me and rounded on Laurent.

"YOU PIG!" I screamed. Laurent looked shocked and took a step back, then peered over my shoulder at James.

"Uh you want to tell me what's got your missus knickers in a twist Jimmy?" He jeered. I took another step towards him before pushing him in the chest. I caught him off guard and he stumbled backwards before tripping and falling flat on his arse. I took another step towards him.

"What you did to Jess, is disgusting and you won't get away with it." I kept my voice low, it was only now that I realised that Jess probably didn't want the entire school to know what had happened and this confrontation was not going to help. James caught my wrist and whipped me round. His face was red with embarrassment; clearly he didn't like the fact that I was causing a scene with his best friend in front of most of Forks High.

"What the hell is going on Bella?" He seethed, his face inches from mine. His grip on my wrist was beginning to hurt.

"The reason why Jess has changed, why she has been hurting herself. Is because of him." I pointed at Laurent while still facing James.

Laurent didn't miss a beat. "Jess asked for it! She was practically begging for it, Bella you should have seen her. And I must add she liked it too." The way he said it made bile rise in the back of my throat. I turned to face him, trying to pull myself from James' grip but he wouldn't let up. It was then that I heard Mike scream.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" He screeched. I realised too late that Mike had been in the cafeteria and had not only witnessed the confrontation but had also been within earshot. He launched himself from across the room barrelling into Laurent. Laurent was quick though and much larger, he had Mike within seconds by the throat pinned against the wall.

"Your little bitch loved every second of it Newton. Practically begged for seconds. You should be happy, I broke her in for you. And I'll tell you what she's not a bad piece, if you know what I mean." He looked at Mikes face appraising his reaction. "But you don't know what I mean do ya Mikey boy? That's probably why she came to me; she needed a real man that could satisfy her." Mike screamed in defiance and managed to break Laurent's hold before taking a swing. Laurent ducked tackling him to the ground throwing punches that unlike Mikes did not miss.

"Stop him!" I begged James. Mikes face was covered in blood and he was barely putting up a fight. "James please!" James looked at me, his eyes distant and shook his head. I looked around panicked before laying eyes on Emmett and Jasper. Jasper was being held back by his sister Rosalie so I turned to Emmett.

"Emmett do something!" I cried. Emmett appeared to be in shock from the entire situation but snapped out of it and jumped on Laurent pulling him from Mike dragging him to the nearest exit. It was Alice who went to Mike's aid. But Mike was in such as state he couldn't see straight and began to struggle with Alice slamming her into the table. It was then that Jasper reacted, pulling from Rose's grasp and hurrying to Alice's side. It was Mike's friend Ben that managed to get him under control before leading him from the room through the opposite exit to Emmett and Laurent.

"Why didn't you do anything?" I turned to James, I was so angry that tears blurred my vision.

"Bella calm down, I was trying to hold onto you. I didn't want you to get hurt." He explained.

"But Mike..."

"Mike shouldn't have attacked Laurent, Bella. He should have known better." I looked at James in complete shock.

"You have to be kidding me; did you not hear a thing that was just said?" I screeched.

"I heard one story Bella." He seethed through clenched teeth. "Now would you keep down your voice, people are staring." I ripped myself from his grasp.

"You think I'm making this up?"

"No I think that there are always two sides to a story Bells and Jess isn't exactly the most reliable person of late." James continued to keep his voice low. "Now cut the shit Bella I've had enough. I've got class; I'll meet you by the car after school." He stormed off leaving me feeling like I had just been slapped in the face, tears stinging my eyes.

I turned to see that Jasper was talking anxiously with Alice trying to make sure she was alright, they were standing very close and Jasper had one arm protectively wrapped around her. Even in the state I was in I thought the situation odd, Jasper had never once shown an interest in any female in the school but he now held Alice in a way that suggested that she belonged to him. James had always said it was because I was taken and the second best prize was his sister who belonged to Emmett. I always thought the comment was stupid, since when could Rosalie ever be thought of a second prize? She was extremely beautiful, smart and rather kind. She was one of the only cheerleaders I could stand besides Jess. I was completely plain next to her.

Thinking of the devil, Rosalie was making her way over. She noticed I was staring at Alice and Jasper. "I was starting to think that my big brother was gay." She joked lightly before turning her attention to me. "Are you ok Bella?" I shrugged not sure how to answer. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head, I couldn't speak I wasn't sure that I could hold in the tears. She appraised me and obviously found that I was of no immediate danger of breaking down as she announced that she was off to find Emmett, I wish I was that sure of myself.

The bell rung making me jump but it took me awhile to register and I then realised I was going to be late for Biology.


	6. A Stupid Idea

6. Stupid Idea.

...

Why I went to class I wasn't quite sure. It was a rather stupid idea. I still felt close to tears and it didn't help that the majorityof my Bio class had just witnessed my seemingly unprovoked attack on Laurent and felt like they had to run a play by play for anyone who missed it, oblivious to the fact that I was in the room.

There was also the matter of my non-existent lab partner. I had sat at the back of the room, alone, carrying out the class work by myself for the majority of the last month. My lab partner had been Jess but she hadn't been regularly attending school for awhile. Her empty seat was a steady reminder of what had just happened.

At least now I understood her reason for acting out. Laurent. I hated him so much for what he had done to my friend, for how he lied, making her out to be something she wasn't, for hurting Mike both physically and emotionally. I knew Laurent was lying, I didn't care what James said about hearing only one story. Jess was one of my closest friends and she had no reason to lie to me and I believed her entirely.

Laurent had destroyed their relationship and their livelihoods in the process. I knew that Jess hadn't been with Mike yet, she hadn't been with anyone. Laurent stole that from her and Mike. It was something she had planned to share with Mike before she started acting out, she rang me one night after a date they had and told me how she was ready. That night we went to a party and the next week she was absent form school. She had been so happy when they had started dating several months ago. She had had a crush on Mike for years and when he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, she was ecstatic. She would ring me religiously sharing with me all the sweet things he had done, what he said to her. It used to drive me insane, all the gooey, lovey dovey-ness. What I would give to go back to those days.

I was also angry with James, not just for suggesting that Jess may have lied to me, but also because he didn't do anything to help Mike, or even stop the fight. He just stood there and then he acted as if I was being crazy, like I had embarrassed him. It felt like he hadn't even cared, that I hadn't been told earth shattering news by my best friend. He didn't seem at all shocked at the accusation I had thrown at Laurent. He completely disregarded it and me in the process. It had hurt, I needed someone to turn to, someone to tell me how to fix things. Someone to hold me and tell me it will be fine. Instead he told me to; quote "cut the crap."

I groaned internally. Thankfully Mr Banner hadn't made it to class yet, so I pressed my forehead to the table and closed my eyes, I tried unsuccessfully to mentally block out everyone around me and ignore the drama that was unfolding in my head.

"Is this seat taken?" I got such as shock I nearly toppled off my chair. Edward was leaning against the table and was grinning at my reaction. I blushed. Every girl in the room had turn to look in our direction. But for the first time since I walked in the room it wasn't at me. It was at Edward and I could see why. He looked like a god. He was wearing a collared black shirt and dark denim jeans; his bronze hair was in an artful disarray. But the most striking thing about Edward besides his amazing crooked grin was his green eyes. They were specked with gold and animated with expression. I realised I had forgotten to breathe.

"I guess not." I sighed, letting out my breath in a gush and moved my books to give him room. He sat down and turned to me, but before he could say anything Mr Banner entered the room slamming the door behind making most of the class jump, including myself. Another near incident with the chair had Edward silently chuckling again. I gave him an evil stare but it made him shake even harder.

"Sorry I'm late class. I had some administration details to deal with. I'm glad to see you found your way to class Mr. Cullen." Mr Banner said as he walked around handing out today's experiment instructions and equipment. It looked like we would be working with chemical reactions today. Edward began setting up the Bunsen burner and the beakers.

"So why are you sitting all alone?" He asked turning his entire body in my direction smiling. "Are all the guys too scared of James to sit by you?"

"Apparently not all of them." I stated sarcastically, his face dropped. "Sorry that's not fair. I'm just in a bad mood. I don't usually sit by myself...well actually I do... I mean for the last month I have." _God I couldn't string two sentences together._

"And why is that?" He continued to smile his crooked smile.

"Jess used to be my lab partner; she hasn't been at school in a while."

"No I meant why are you in a bad mood?" He corrected.

"Actually they are one in the same." I replied sombrely. _Why am I telling him this?_

"You're in a bad mood because of Jess?"

"Perceptive aren't we?" More sarcasm. "Sorry." I mumbled. He chuckled.

"Is she the reason you were upset at lunch too?" I didn't answer. "Don't want to talk about it?" He asked as he reached across me to grab a container of sodium chloride brushing my arm in the process. My heart leaped. _Why was he having this effect on me?_

I smiled appreciatively. "Not really, no." He gave me another smile, one of understanding and continued in silence. I was the one to break it this time.

"I never thanked you for the ride home last night and for before, with James and I'm sorry for how he reacted." It all came out in a blur and I wasn't sure I had made any sense. He was chuckling again, causing me to blush. I stuck out my tongue which didn't help the chuckling situation and caused me to blush a deeper shade of red, as I realised how immature I was being.

"That's ok, I'm sorry I wasn't much company on the journey home." He ducked his head in mock shame causing me to smile. "And the thing with your boyfriend, James, was it? It's understandable, I would be protective and jealous if you were _my girlfriend_ and another man had his hands on you." My heart skipped a beat when he emphasized, "my girlfriend".

"So why were you late?" I asked, curious, he had left the cafeteria early if I remembered clearly . I also wanted to change the subject. I hoped he hadn't noticed I was blushing.

"Got lost." He answered sheepishly ducking his head. Now I had the chance to laugh at him. But I didn't really feel like it. There wasn't a reason to be happy right now and I couldn't find the energy. Edward probably thought I was being rude as we continued out the rest of the exercise in silence. I kept catching him staring in my direction, every time our eyes met, he smiled, dazzling me and causing me to blush in the process. I would look quickly out the class window hoping to hide my embarrassing reaction. That's when something caught my eye. Mike and Jess were outside. _Why is she at school?_ I thought. They looked like they were arguing and Jess was definately crying.

"Um, Mr Banner?" I called out putting up my hand and leaping out of my chair in the process.

"Yes Miss Swan?" He replied not looking up from his book.

"May I be excused to the bathroom?" Edward looked at me confused and concerned.

"If you deem it necessary, come and get a hall pass." He motioned me forward still not looking up from his book. I grabbed the pass like it was a lifesaver and rushed from the room.

* * *

When will it end?

....

When I walked out of class I stepped into another form of hell. Jess was standing only meters from Mike screaming at him. "Get the fuck away from me!" She held out her hands at arm's length and with every step he took forward she took two back.

"Please stop Jess; I'm just trying to help." Mike pleaded. His face showed the wounds of this morning but weren't as bad as I had thought they had been. He unsuccessfully tried to get closer to her while holding his hands in the air, palms up. Like the bad guys do in movies when they were trying to show the cops they aren't dangerous. But Mike wasn't the bad guy.

Jess just kept shaking her head. "Don't come any closer Mike I mean it!" Neither of them had noticed me and I remained quiet assessing the situation. _What was she doing and why was she here?_

Mike looked lost, beaten, exhausted and close to tears. He just stared at Jess as she stared back at him. Jess was in full blown hysterics as she started to rip the bandages from her arms, and then she did something that made me feel sick. She dropped to her knees grabbing at her arms, taking her fingers and scratching along her newest wounds. They opened up and began to bleed again. A scream caught in my throat. Mike was at her side in an instance and this time she didn't fight back, she went limp. He picked her up in his arms and carried her towards the bathroom.

I stood frozen against the wall as Mike walked past cradling her. Without looking up he whispered into her hair. "Go back to class Bella, there's nothing we can do." He was right, the damage was done. Jess was broken. Telling me why hadn't allowed us to fix the situation. In actuality I had probably made things worse. I watched them go feeling utterly helpless. My best friend was crying out for help and I couldn't do anything. She was right I couldn't make it go away, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even protect her. I had forced her to spill her secret, promising a release. I had failed her.

I ran back to class and took my seat next to Edward. He looked at me concerned and I realized I was probably turning blue. It felt like I hadn't taken a breath since I left. I stared down at the table and exhaled slowly, trying to stop my hands from shaking as I picked up a beaker to continue with the experiment. I felt a warm hand on mine stopping me in the process of crushing the breaker with my hand.

"Bella are you ok. You look like you just witnessed someone die." Edward murmured lifting my chin with the palm of his free hand cupping my cheek. Tears began to spill endlessly as the truth of what he had just said hit home. It was like I had just witnessed someone die. Two people actually, both Mike and Jess were being killed slowly, because of Laurent. I began to shake, on the verge of a major breakdown.

_My world is falling apart_. I screamed internally. I instantly felt horrible, my world was doing nothing. Jess's world on the other hand was and had been falling to pieces for a while now. And all I could do was watch those pieces fall while Mike and I ran around trying to collect them in the hopes of piecing her together again. _All the Kings horses and all the Kings Men_. The thought made me groan out loud.

"Do you want to leave the room?" Edward was worried. I nodded too afraid to speak; worried that if my lips parted the silent scream that racked my body might escape. I tried to get up from my seat but the room began to spin, I clutched at the table hopelessly as everything went black.

* * *

**A/N - please R&R an let me know what you think. And I will add more chapters if you want them. I was thinking of doing an outtake of the fight between Jess and Mike from Mikes POV - to describe what he is going through. Let me know if I should do it :)**


	7. Discomfort

**A/N** - **Big thanks goes out to angelnlove52 who helped me a fair bit with this chapter. If you haven't already checked out her story Stand Still I suggest you do so. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. :) R&R.**

* * *

7. Discomfort

...

"I can assure you Mr. Cullen, she will be just fine. She has fainted that's all. She will come around in a few." Miss. Linton, the school nurse, sounded exasperated as she left the sick bay closing the door behind her. _Oh god I fainted! Really? _I thought about remaining still and pretending I was still out to it. Instead I opened my eyes to find Edwards green gems staring intently back at me.

"Oh!" I gasped in surprise, rolling off the bed and onto the floor. "Ow..." I grumbled. Edward was at my side in a flash helping me up by the elbow. His touch was warm and caused me to blush, mainly because I fell from the bed in front of him, but also because I could hear my heart race at his touch and it was rather loud, so loud that I was almost positive he could hear it himself.

"Are you ok? I didn't mean to give you a fright." He steadied me back onto the bed.

"I'm fine, totally and utterly humiliated, but fine." He chuckled at my response, the humor reaching his eyes causing them to sparkle in the light, before he turned serious.

"You fell from the bed Bella and you fainted in class, don't tell me your _fine_," he growled, emphasizing the word "fine" with obvious distaste.

"I do it regularly...falling from the bed that is. Second time today." I smiled. "But the fainting has made this my best day ever." I continued sarcastically. I went to hop down from the bed, but Edward caught me in both his arms, not allowing me to get far in my venture.

"I don't think you're ready to leave just yet," he growled again. I almost leaned into his warm comforting embrace, before I caught myself_. Stop it you have a boyfriend_! I scolded internally. I shifted away from Edward and I swear I saw his face fall. _Don't flatter yourself._ I thought. "What happened before?" he asked. "You know...when you went outside. I could see you and that Mike Newton kid and some girl. It looked like they were fighting. She looked pretty upset." _Upset could be considered an understatement; I would have used the term distraught to describe Jessica._

I cringed as I remember what had happened. _Oh_ _Jess,_ I sighed. _Laurent is going to pay._ I thought harshly_._ Edward was staring at me waiting for a response. I didn't want to tell him what had happened. I was fairly sure people had guessed that something was going on when I confronted Laurent at lunch, but I didn't want them to know everything. It wasn't my story to tell and I didn't know how Jess would feel about so many people knowing what had happened. I was sure however that Laurent was making it clear to people that he had slept with Jessica Stanley and that she wanted it, just as he had at lunch, as he tried to destroy her credibility and reputation. Making her out to be a tramp for "cheating on Mike" would only be too easy for someone with his popularity. _Poor Mike._ I thought. _What am I going to do with him? _

Edward hopped up on the bed next to me and took me into his arms. I hadn't realized I was crying, I couldn't believe that I still had tears to cry at all after a day like today. This time I leaned into his inviting embrace, staining the shoulder of his shirt with my tears. I was so tired that I was sure that if I closed my eyes I could easily fall into a deep slumber. Instead I removed myself from Edwards's arms. "Thanks and sorry," I murmured as I looked up at him. Pain was clear on his face as he stared back at me.

"I'm the one that's sorry Bells. Sorry that you are in this much pain. You don't have to tell me what happened. But I will listen if you need me to." He reached over to stroke my face. But I leaned away. I had only known Edward for less than twenty-four hours and yet I had found myself in his comfort and embrace more than once. It was unnerving and made me feel guilty, almost as if I were cheating. I knew that James would be less than happy if he walked in on us and I couldn't blame him. I would feel the same if I saw him with another girl in his arms. Edward dropped his hand sensing my discomfort. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he apologized. I simply smiled and shook my head.

"It's alright Edward," I sighed. "I'm sorry for fainting on you and thank you for bringing me here." I shook my head and laughed, a little hysterically. "It feels like I have apologized and thanked you a million times already and I've known you for less than a day." He chuckled nodding in agreement.

"You don't have to apologize or thank me either. I meant what I said before, about you being able to talk to me if you need," he reminded me. I considered his offer, it was tempting to bury myself in his arms yet again, to smell his sweet smell and feel his warmth. _Stop it!_

I wanted desperately to talk to someone, but I hardly knew Edward. Yet I felt as if I could trust him with everything. I sighed. Everyone was going to know some version of the story sooner or later anyway; I might as well tell Edward the true version. I didn't have to tell him all the details, but to tell him something would offer some relief.

"That girl, that was with Mike. That was Jess," I started. "She's been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember."

"She was the reason why you were in a bad mood earlier, in Biology and why you looked upset at lunch?" I nodded at his evaluation, giving him a silent agreement as I thought over my approach.

"Well, yes and no. I was angry at Laurent. I was upset because he had hurt Jess," I corrected.

"He hurt her? How?" He looked at me with genuine concern, his eyes growing wide with the possibilities. I shuddered. I didn't really want to tell him this; I didn't even want to think about it. I still didn't feel like it was my place to talk about it but there was no other way of explaining the situation without filling in that last vital piece of information. Edward sensed my hesitation and reached out to touch my face but dropped his hand, obviously remembering my reaction to his advances earlier. I was relieved. It was hard enough concentrating and remembering I was otherwise taken when he touched me. I swallowed loudly before I unleashed the burden on him.

"Laurent and Jess slept together." I took a depth breath before I continued. "But it wasn't exactly consensual," I eased as I closed my eyes tightly. "He raped her." I exhaled a loud billowy breath. Edward was silent and I was afraid to open my eyes. I was afraid to look at him to see disbelief in his eyes. I was worried he would scoff at what I told him, just as James had. When I finally opened my eyes I instantly thought I had anticipated his reaction correctly.

He was staring at me with and unfathomable look of anger. Disgust was also clear in the features of his face. His eyes were dark and his hands gripped the edge of the bed, his knuckles turning white. I looked away. This time he didn't stop himself as he wrapped his arms around me and I didn't protest. "I'm so sorry Bella," he whispered into my hair as he rocked me back and forth, my tears staining his shirt once again. We sat this way for what seemed like an eternity until Miss. Linton interrupted as she entered the room before she noticed us and quickly left again, giving us well needed privacy.

I sat up and pulled myself from Edwards arms for the up tenth time. "I'm going to owe you a new shirt at this rate." I grimaced at my poor attempt at a joke. Edward smiled in return but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He looked at me appraisingly.

"You're a mess. I should probably take you home," he commented, reaching to brush my matted and tear soaked hair from my face. I looked at my watch and gasped when I realized the time. I had been in here since the middle of biology and had also missed gym. Although I was happy to have missed the agonizing torture that was to be called gym I was worried that I had kept Edward from class and it was only his second day.

"I'm sorry...again. We've been in here forever, I made you miss class," I apologized. He simply shook his head.

"I had a free period and I've told you to stop apologizing. Now do you want a ride home or not?" He smiled. Just his smile made me feel lighter inside and had me forgetting the last five minutes for a second.

"Crap," I cried out. "I promised to meet James." I jumped up from the bed and found myself unbalanced. Edward grabbed me yet again and steadied me, before dropping his hold. "Thanks for the offer though." I smiled.

"No problem, but at least let me walk you to the lot. Just to make sure you don't faint or anything again." He held his finger to my lips as I started to object and smiled.

"K," I agreed dazzled by his crooked grin.

* * *

**EPOV**

I kept watch from the corner of my eye as I walked Bella towards Forks High's small student car lot. For some unexplainable reason I felt overly protective of her. She seemed so frail, with her slight frame and pale complexion, and the fainting spell didn't help any with this judgement. I kept my arm within inches of the small of her back, ready to steady her if she needed, but not touching as I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable again.

My mind was racing with what had happened. When Bella ran from the room in Bio, I almost took after her. I didn't buy for a second that she was headed for the bathroom. She had looked so scared. And that look made it almost impossible to stay seated. It was worse when she returned; her body shook with pain and her tears caused my heart to race. I wanted to know what was wrong, I wanted to protect her from it, shield her from the cause of her tears. When she fainted my heart stopped. I didn't think as I picked her up and rushed her from the room. It was Miss. Linton who convinced me to take her to the sick bay when I ran into her as I left the Biology class room.

I couldn't explain my attachment to Bella, I had known her for less than a day, but I felt so drawn to her. With every different expression she expressed it caused a different emotion to stir within me. When she cried into my shirt it felt like each tear stabbed me with a little needle directly into my heart. When she pulled away from my touch my heart squeezed, pained by the rejection.

After Bella told me what Jess had been through I had almost ran from the room. I wanted to hurt Laurent. But not entirely for what he had done to Jess, but partly because he had indirectly hurt Bella and I didn't want such a vile creature within a hundred mile radius of her. Bella's pained and tear stricken face was the only thing that kept me from going after him, I couldn't bear to leave her alone in the state that she was in. In that moment it felt as if my world was drawn to her, as if she needed me to protect her from the harsh realities of this world.

I believed every word Bella had told me, I knew Laurent enough for the story to have credibility. I had spoken with him briefly at the party last night; he was beyond arrogant and rude. Bella began to fill me in on some of the finer details as we walked to the car park. I couldn't believe the pain he had caused Jess, how she had resorted to self mutilation to escape the emotional pain he had thrust upon her. How he could wake up in the morning and come to the same school as Jess and watch what Mike, Bella and Jess were going through was unfathomable. He was truly the worst kind of monster.

When Bella told me how she had confronted him in the cafeteria I felt sick. I didn't want him near her. I was mad at James for not protecting her and even angrier with myself for leaving when I should have been there to hide her from the pain he caused her, and to help Mike pummel the bastard. Bella's face would scrunch up with despair whenever she talked of Mike and Jess, how they had been so happy before, and her pain lashed at my insides, beating them to a pulp. I wanted so badly to hold her and comfort her, to make everything disappear.

I was worried that reliving some of what had happened would cause Bella to collapse again so I broke my no touching rule and rested my hand on the small of her back, offering her as much support as I could. Suddenly I was pushed from behind with such force it sent Bella sprawling to the ground. I went to reach for her but someone grabbed me by the back of the neck and whipped me around to face them.

"I thought I told you to keep your hands off her!" James was shaking, his face red.

"Let go James you don't understand."I seethed through gritted teeth, as I grabbed his arm; breaking his hold. This time he came at me with both arms, grabbing the front of my shirt. His face was inches from mine.

"No I don't think you understand _Edward_. Bella is my girlfriend; keep your filthy hands off of her!" He shoved me and I stumbled a few steps backwards before he came at me with his fists. Bella jumped in between us, facing James.

"Stop it _now_ James. Edward was just being helpful." The thought of her between me and James while his hands were balled into fists made my stomach lurch. I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her backward, angling myself in front of her, shielding her from an irate James. This infuriated him further and he let out a sharp growl before he launched at me, knocking me to the ground. The scuffle was short lived as I felt James being pulled off me. When I looked up I noticed Emmett pulling James away from me, keeping him from attacking once more.

"You should listen to Bella," I growled as I stood to face him.

"The hell I will," he seethed.

"He's right James. It was nothing. I fainted in Bio and Edward took me to Miss. Linton. He only offered to walk me back to you because I was still feeling a little unsteady." Outrage filled Bella's voice as she stared at James who had begun to calm slightly under Emmett's tight grasp.

"Let go of me Emmett!" James demanded, visibly calmer but still disgruntled. "It seems I owe Edward an apology."

"Don't mention it." I mumbled, looking at Bella who was brushing the asphalt from her hands, which were raw and a little bloody from her fall. I wanted to take her hands in mine and assess the damage but I knew better. I wasn't about to put her in harm's way again, which was assured to happen if I touched her again.

James had caused this to happen, in his moment of blind and jealous rage he had hurt her and he didn't at all seem worried. I already didn't like Bella's boyfriend and I knew it was more than brutal jealously that fuelled this dislike. He was quick to anger and he obviously didn't care if Bella was hurt in the process of releasing that anger. James caught me looking at her hands and quickly rushed to her side, trying to play the perfect boyfriend for once.

"Let me look at those." He cooed making my skin crawl. Bella's safety hadn't mattered a second ago. The more I got to know James the more I felt I was wrong about my initial assessment of him. He wasn't protective. He was possessive. He treated Bella like a possession—a thing to throw around at his pleasure. He wasn't too worried about her safety unless it reflected negatively on his hold on her, or how others viewed him. We had an audience now and James seemed all too aware of that as he wrapped his arms around Bella in a protective hug. I wanted to deck him for even touching her.

The more I witnessed, the more I was starting to feel anger towards her too; she was allowing him touch her, after he had harmed her. _Your being stupid Edward, he's her boyfriend and you're not._ I reminded myself.

Bella shrugged out of his arms. "It's nothing," she whispered downplaying his previous actions. "Can we just go now?" She turned to look at me, not making full eye contact. Even though I had only known her for such a short time, I could see the unease and embarrassment in her forlorn eyes "Thanks for everything Edward." James stiffened at her words but didn't turn to look at me. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and walked her to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for her, before getting in and driving away. It felt wrong letting her go with him. _Stop thinking like a fool._ I berated myself as I looked on hopelessly.

...

* * *


	8. Slap in the face

8. Slap in the Face. (BPOV)

...

I was completely and utterly embarrassed and outraged. James had unquestionably over reacted when he attacked Edward causing me to be hurled to the ground. My hands still burned with the reminder, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I was so mad with James but I was almost equally as angry with Edward. What was he thinking, putting himself between James and me? It seemed like a rather dense move to me. Did he not stop to think how that would appear to James--how it would infuriate him, how it would make us both look? If he acted to protect me, he was sweet but stupid. It was unnecessary; James had never, until today, so much as raised his voice at me, let alone physically take out his anger out on me. The thought was repulsive, he would never hurt me.

I sighed at the unnecessary dislike that had developed between James and Edward already. I really liked Edward, it would have been great if James and He could have become friends. God knows it would do James some good to have a friend like Edward instead of one as disgusting as Laurent. I couldn't believe that James had a friend who believed in causing harm to those I loved and thought that drinking was the answer to all of life's ups and downs. Lately him and James and been spending more time drunk or nursing a hangover than sober and it was starting to take its toll. James had begun to frequently skip class and it was affecting his game and his personality. Coach Clapp was less than impressed with James' lack of enthusiasm and dropping fitness levels and was constantly on his case.

James brought my attention back to the here and now when he smacked the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. He was glaring at me. "Bet you loved that didn't you Bella?" he scathed. I looked at him in disbelief before my anger at his accusation reached my lips.

"You have got to be joking," I hissed. "You know you were out of line before. I did absolutely nothing wrong." I shook my head still in utter disbelief.

"Nothing wrong?!" he yelled, his voice filling the cabin of the car. "You have been constantly in Cullen's grasp today. Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on between you two?" Once again I thanked my stars that James had not seen Edward comforting me earlier in the sick bay.

"Nothing is going on James," I said evenly. "You are blowing everything widely out of proportion. He was worried about me that's all."

"Bullshit. What kind of stunt was that anyway, fainting in class?" He stared at me his expression patronising. The way he spoke to me hurt, he'd never taken this tone with me before. I had seen him this upset over a bad game... but this was me, not a teammate. Furthermore, I couldn't believe he had the audacity to suggest that I had fainted on purpose.

"If you must know, Jess was at school, she flipped out. It was a little overwhelming and I think that's why I collapsed. I for one am truly grateful that _someone_ cared enough about me to help when I needed him to. You haven't even asked me if I'm okay, or how I'm feeling," I spat at him, hitting below the belt. James' face changed instantly to one of outrage as he closed the distance between us with his arm, slapping me squarely across the cheek.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I clutched at the spot where his hand had connected with my face. I couldn't begin to process what had just happened. Had James actually hit me? Or did I just entirely imagine it. But the pain was too great for it to have been a product of an overzealous imagination. I held my breath as I tried to stop the tears and the sob that was verge of breaking through my lips. I didn't look at James; I stared directly at the window trying to focus on the spits of rain that covered the glass while I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. My face was hot, burning with both anger and shame. I was about to demand that he pull over and let me out when he spoke.

"Bella," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me." He reached over with his hand but retracted it when I flinched. He pulled over without me asking and shifted in his seat to face me. I continued to avoid his gaze as I reached for the seat buckle. This time he didn't hesitate as he grabbed my hands preventing me from unbuckling myself. "Please don't do this Bella. Please," he begged. I couldn't contain my hurt and anger as I unleashed on him.

"How dare you?!" I screeched. "How could you do that to me? You hit me!" He dropped his head in shame and released his hold on me. I hurried to unbuckle myself and reached for the car door but as I went to step from the car I noticed that his eyes had filled with tears.

He looked up at me his expression one of pain and regret. "Bella..." he begun but I didn't want to hear his excuses.

"What you just did is unforgivable James. You of all people should understand that." He winced at the truth in my statement. The reason why James did not live at home was because his mother had walked out on his father less than a year ago. His mother had suffered from extreme physical abuse for years at the hands of his father and at times he had unleashed on James. Finally she plucked up the courage to leave but James had refused to go, instead he got a place on his own. James hated the monster his father had become. He had no patience for anyone that took out their frustrations on a female. It was for this reason that I could not understand what had just happened.

James was shaking and had his head in his hands. "Please," he begged. "I didn't mean it. Don't leave me...It will never happen again. I promise, Bella. Please." Tears stained his cheeks and the pain he was going through made my stomach heave.

I shook my head; I couldn't forgive what had happened. I just couldn't, I knew that no matter what, my heart could never forget. My hands were clammy and cold with sweat. I wanted to leave so badly but I was unable, even though James had caused his own pain it still hurt to see him that way. We had been together for awhile and my feelings for him couldn't be wiped away with just a slap.

"How many times did your mother hear your father utter the exact same promise, James?" I whispered. His head snapped up his eyes were wide and filled with grief.

"No Bella," he shook his head. "I'm not my father. Please, please Bella. I know it's no excuse but I have been under a lot of stress lately. I lost it when I saw you with Cullen. I'm losing everything at the moment; I can't bear to lose you too!" he cried and as he held his head in his hands I felt my resolve break. I reached over to him hesitating for a second before I let my hand rest on his shoulder.

"What do you mean by losing everything?" I asked. James looked at me and grimaced.

"It seems your friend _Edward_ fancies himself as a bit of a baseball player and the Coach feels the same way. That means we have one more member on our team than allowed for tournament this year. Coach has made it clear who he feels is the weakest member of the team," he shook his head before continuing. "And then when I saw you and Edward walking together all chummy, I lost it. It felt like he was stealing you from me too."

It wasn't much of an excuse for what he had done but I felt for him. Even though it was his mostly his fault for his performance in school and on the team, I partly blamed Laurent. Baseball was what kept James in school; it was all he really had. Last year, colleges around the country had made it clear that he would be up for some pretty serious scholarships if he kept it up; he relied on these to get in. It had to be killing him—he had been killing himself. Constantly extra workout sessions, more practicing, then something just happened; he changed suddenly into someone I didn't recognize anymore. There were no key factors that I could think of, just kind of an overnight thing.

"I'm so sorry Bella; please... please you are all I have left, I can't lose you too," he begged grabbing my hands in his. "I love you Bella, please don't go but I'll understand if you do. I have acted unforgivably." I breathed deeply, his breath hitching as he tried to control his emotions.

I had no choice but to contemplate my options. I could leave him, just open the door and never look back. But it hurt to turn my back on our relationship. To be fair James had never caused me any doubt or harm before today. He had always been caring, fun and loving. He looked at me searching my face, watching the emotions as they crossed it. Despair filled his features. I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave him. I leaned into his arms, silently giving him my answer, forgiving the unforgivable.

.....

* * *

.....

Later on in the afternoon, after James had dropped me off I still couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. The entire day had been one major drama fest. I shook my head when I thought about how everything was broken or in the process of falling to pieces around me;.Jess and Mike were is shambles, Jessica was shattered, James' baseball prospects, his personality changes and possibly of us having a relationship.

I kept telling myself it was nothing, just a slap across the face. _Nothing_,_ it happens to someone everyday, tomorrow will be different; tomorrow I will have the normal James back._ I tried desperately to stop thinking about it but it was impossible. James had undoubtedly lost control and hit me. He had_ never_ hit me, never even raised his voice toward me. But this afternoon he had been something I didn't recognize. His anger had scared me, and his face contorted in a way I had never seen, it was almost as if it were a totally different person. In truth his personality had been eroding for the past few weeks. The drinking and partying were major factors, not to mention the influence Laurent was having. But he still found the time to show he cared, that he loved me. Whenever he was away from Laurent he was my James again. The thought of the changes made me curse Laurent out loud. I wanted to kill him for the mess he had created, murder him for what he had done to Jess.

I groaned. I was so sick of thinking about what had happened. My stomach crawled with the thought of Laurent taking something so precious from Jess. I was so filled with rage that I hadn't even noticed I had over filled the laundry sink, water spilled onto the floor and as I stomped into the room to put my clothes in the machine I slipped, falling to the fall smacking my head hard against the floor. I screamed out in pain. Holding my head in my hand and wincing I slowly sat up and reached above to the sink tap cutting of the water. "DAMN IT!" I yelled as I kicked the washing machine denting it in the process.

With perfect timing Charlie rushed into the room, home from work. "Bells honey are you OK?" he asked as he looked around the room and at the water that pooled around his shoes. I groaned wanting to roll over on to my stomach and just lie there. _What a day_, I thought. "Found a new way to do the laundry honey?" Charlie mused as he sat down next to me putting one arm awkwardly around my shoulder. Charlie wasn't one for showing too much affection or emotions - it's not that he didn't love me or care about me, it's just that tears made him nervous.

It was times like these that I missed my mother - she had left Charlie when I was alot younger, she had had enough of the small town of Forks. It made me sad, Charlie would have done anything and everything for her, but it was never enough. I still saw her from time to time, but it hurt to see how she had made a new life without us.

I smiled up at Charlie. "I'm fine Dad, just the usual. Doing the wash is fraught with peril." He chuckled at my response. It was normal for me to cause myself injuries doing the most mundane and simple chores.

"You certainly didn't get my sense of balance," he smiled again and then shook his head. "I heard there was a bit of a scuffle at your school today?"

"How did you hear about that?" I looked at him confused, unsure of which incident he was referring to, Laurent and Mike or James and Edward.

"A Laurent form your school laid a complaint about your friend Newton, said something about and unprovoked physical attack." I snorted, what utter crap.

"Dad that's not true. Yes Mike did go after Laurent, but he deserved it and it was Laurent that beat up Mike."

"Nobody deserves to be assaulted Bella, no matter what was said or done. You should never physically take out your anguish on another being, you should never fight someone unless its in self defense." His words hit home. James had taken his anguish out on me, hitting me. I winced at the thought. Charlie was right, but I believed in second chances and that was exactly what I was going to give James.

"Dad Laurent did something unforgivable..."

"...Yes Bella, I heard, he slept with Jess. But that doesn't give Mike the right to fight Laurent; he should sort out the matter with Jess." I should have known that Laurent would have lied. "And James has offered himself as a witness; he claims that Mike unfairly took out his relationship woes on Laurent."

"He did what?!" I screamed. I could not believe this, what was James thinking. My body shook with anger. _That hypocrite, how can he just choose sides like that? How could he do that to me?_ As if reading my thoughts Charlie spoke.

"I know Jess is your friend Bella. But she has been acting out a lot lately. Laurent is James' friend and it's understandable that he were to back him up, even if it causes you hurt. You shouldn't be mad with him. And its moot anyhow no charges are going to be laid." _Of course not_, I thought harshly. Laurent is just covering his bases. By filing a complaint he was able to plant his story in the minds of the officers, making it harder for Jess to tell her story and to get the police and the public to believe her.

"I better clean up this mess and start tea," I grumbled. I didn't want to talk about this anymore the anger at what both James and Laurent had done was eating at me, tiring me out.

After tea Charlie went into the lounge to watch TV while I cleaned up the kitchen. I was exhausted and decided to head up to bed early. I grabbed my phone that was on the counter and was about to send James a text berating him for what he had done when I decided it was a lost cause. I decided instead to have a shower in the hopes that it would help me calm down.

I turned on the shower and watched as the room filled with steam. It immediately relaxed me. I began to undress myself but as I pulled my shirt over my face I took in the sweetest aroma. _Edward_, I sighed internally. I drew in his scent, reveling in it. I thought about the kindness he had bestowed on me today and smiled. He was a really decent, sweet guy but I was already taken and the thoughts should have stopped there. But they didn't. I thought about how he had wrapped me in his arms, comforting and making me feel safe. How his smile made me forget about the days troubles. My thoughts were interrupted when Charlie knocked on the bathroom door giving me a fright.

"Leave some hot water for your old man, will ya!" He growled. I hadn't noticed how long I had been standing there thinking about Edward. I dropped my shirt to the ground immediately, feeling miserable and guilty. No wonder James was so upset at the sight of us. I hurried to finish my shower, pulling on my holey sweats and a tatty singlet.

I climbed into bed and lay my head on the pillow trying to block any thoughts that pertained to the time Edward and I had been together. I tried to think of other things instead, but it only made me feel so much worse. Images of Jess' crumpled body in Mikes arms filled my head. Tears filled my eyes as I finally drifted off to sleep.

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.....

_Laurent pressed himself against me as he groaned in satisfaction.  
_

_I tried helplessly to push him off me but my arms remained numb at my sides, I was unable to move, frozen in a state of horror. _

_I opened my mouth to scream, but Laurent silenced me as he pushed his lips fiercely against mine, moaning in pleasure. _

_I could feel the silent tears that streamed down my face and the sobs rake my frozen body._

_Laurent leaned back with a wide grin displayed across his menacing face. "You know you want it," he cooed before ripping my shirt from my body, leaving my top half exposed. His grin widened._

_I felt absolutely sick and helpless as I watched him remove his own clothing and my skirt. My stomach dropped as his eyes raked over my now naked body. His breathing quickened as he crawled back on top of me. _

_Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a male leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his broad chest. His face was blank and betrayed no emotion as he watched Laurent strip me of my dignity, of my soul, of my virginity. _

_The male held my eyes through the entire ordeal never breaking contact. I tried to call out for help, I pleaded with him silently to make it stop. _

_But I could only manage to whisper his name._

_"James..." I cried._

_Please, I thought. _

_James..._

.....

I woke up mid-scream, drenched in my own sweat but shaking from the cold. The dream had been so real, so vivid. I could still feel the pressure of Laurent's body as he had pressed down on me. I shuddered and wrapped my arms around my knees, clinging them tightly to my chest. The image of James standing and watching, not helping me, filled my vision and had me sobbing uncontrollably. It was so real, too real. I was shaking as I pulled the covers over my head to hide from the dark room that surrounded me. _It was a dream_, i_t was only a dream_, I kept telling myself, _just a dream. But one that Jess had to live_.... The thought brought on another round of hysteria. I continued to cry uncontrollably, so loud I was sure that Charlie would enter the room within a matter of seconds, I tried to control the sobs, holding my breath. Eventually, I finally managed to fall back to sleep, exhausted and emotionally drained.

.....

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**A/N - sorry this update took so long, I promise another before the end of the week. Thanks to everyone who review. Please R&R :) **


	9. Necessary Distractions

**A/N - Okay guys I know it took awhile to put up this chapter and I'm really sorry I know I promised earlier but I have been really busy.**

**To make it up to you I will post at least 2 chapters next week – just so you will forgive me. And at least one of those is from EPOV for those who enjoy them, more Edwella time and more drama.**

**:) Sorry hope you will forgive me. :) Update will be soon!!!**

**This isn't a very exciting chapter. - Its more of a foundation chap and the editing might not be too great, as some of you know my wonderful beta (angelnlove52 - check out her story Stand Still) is away, so I had to edit myself lol :S**

**Please review --- more reviews = faster update. ----thanks to everyone who already has, it means alot :)**

**Oh and on another note thanks for VampPixyJAK for highlighting an important point. - It is never OK to take out your frustrations whether it be verbally or physically on a child or a woman or anyone for that matter. Its not OK - its really rather unacceptable and disgusting. - And I cant tell you just yet whether or not Laurent will be taught a lesson you will have to wait and see/read ;) Hopefully everything will work out :)**

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9. Necessary Distractions

...

I thanked my lucky stars that Charlie had gotten up early to go fishing with Billy. I was thankful because my eyes were red and puffy, the result of a previous day and long night filled with tears and drama. Luckily my face showed no bruising or marking from where James had struck me so I wouldn't have to lie about what had happened. Nonetheless I looked worse for wear – _like utter crap really_. I groaned internally and thought about returning to bed to hide from the world under my covers; unfortunately if Charlie came home to find me moping around I would never hear the end of it. Of how he was being a 'bad father' and he should be 'spending more time' with me. Fishing was something that he and Billy had been doing almost every Saturday of late, which has meant that I am starting to run out of new ways to cook fish and spent most of my weekends alone which Charlie was feeling guilty for and which wasn't so bad at first but now I was finding it hard to occupy myself.

If Charlie was here to see my puffy blotchy face, I know what he would have assumed, that Jake and I had yet another argument. The truth is, I haven't spoken to Jake in weeks and I was under no doubt that I would hear all about that when Charlie got home from his trip. 'You too need to sort out your differences." – "you are making the poor boy suffer,' he would say. 'You used to be joined at the hip.' Then he would fold his arms across his chest and huff, telling me that I should forgive him and that 'being petty is unattractive Bella.'

Thinking about Jake made me feel even more alone than I already was. On the weekends James would usually go and visit his mum upstate, which meant that I would go down to La Push to hang with Jake and sometimes that rest of the Quileute gang, just as I had been doing for years. Jake is –_was_ my best friend and had been ever since I can remember, just as Charlie and his dad Billy had been. Yes Jess was my closest girl-friend, but Jake had been the one I would turn to, the one I told everything and whose shoulder I leaned on when times got tough. He was my big brother for all intensive purposes, even though he was younger than me by almost 2 years.

Usually Jake would spend the weekend working on the Rabbit – an old car he was restoring. But lately we had been working on a couple of older motorcycles we had saved from the tip. After a lot of hard work, blood and sweat we had got them working again – well Jake had, I had mostly watched and even more recently Jake had been teaching me to ride them, it was something we kept hidden from both our Dads. But it had been a while since I had been down on the Res, it made me sad. If Jake and I were still on good terms I would have someone to talk about Jess with, someone who would let me cry and would understand – god how I missed him and the other Quileute boys. I missed sitting in his lean-to shed and drinking warm fizzy from cans he seemed to have an endless supply of in a plastic bag he kept stashed somewhere. I missed his warm smile and his throaty chuckle – he was my Jake and my sun that managed to brighten any cloudy day. I missed going down to the beach listening to Quileute legends while the boys stuffed their faces with marshmallows and sausages, teasing one another about girls until someone pushed Paul too far and we would have to call it a night.

The great thing about Jake was that James seemed to share no animosity towards our friendship. He seemed to understand that it was a sisterly/brotherly love we shared and nothing more. After all we had grown up together; our Dads were best friends and when my mother left, Billy spent a lot of time at ours, drinking himself into a stupor or 'consoling' Charlie as he called it. Usually that meant Billy would crash on the couch and Jake and I would top and tail in my small single bed. Jake was able to relate to the pain I felt as he had lost his mother too. Even though she had died unlike Renee, who left of her own accord and he was much younger so he didn't remember his mum so much, it was something that connected us and meant we understood one another better than anyone else did, even our own flesh and blood.

But it had been weeks since we had spoken and even longer since we had seen one another. What I couldn't tell Charlie was that Jake and I had had a falling out over James. I don't know if it was because Jake was jealous of the fact that I was spending less time with him and more with James or because he genuinely didn't like him, Jake couldn't give me a straight answer as to why he believed I shouldn't date him anymore. It was above frustrating that my best friend couldn't approve of my boyfriend. It was even more annoying that James believed that there was a different reason behind Jakes disapproving and it was one that I thought was stupid. James seems to think that Jake was purely jealous not of the time I was spending with James, but of our relationship. James believed that seeing me date him had made Jake realise that he had feelings for me.

It was stupid, Jake and I did not share those feelings and although I hadn't told James how, I knew that for a fact. At Jess's 15th birthday party Jake and I shared a kiss, it was a dare that neither one of us wanted to do it but it happened. Jess was the one who issued the dare and did so because at the time she believed that there had to be more to our closeness then just mutual friendship. Neither of us was one to turn down a dare, so it happened and it was beyond horrible. Afterwards once we had finished rolling around on the ground squealing in horror, wiping our mouths on our sleeves and spitting in disgust, Jake told me how it was like kissing his sister or worse still, kissing Quil or Embry. I told him I had to agree, especially with the kissing Quil and Embry bit, which then had us both rolling around on the floor again this time in a fit of hysterics.

So James got it wrong it wasn't because Jake wanted to be with me, it was something else. At the beginning of our relationship Jake had been fine with me and James dating but after awhile he started acting weird, distancing himself from me whenever I was with James. Jake told me he didn't think James was good enough for me, he said that there was something about him he didn't like. I would have understood had Jake been able to give me a single reason for why he felt that way but he couldn't. It made me furious. Jake continued to pressure me to break it off with James. It started to become a weekly argument until I finally told him where to go. I had had enough. If Jake couldn't mind his own business and just spend time with me without bringing it up, I told him I wasn't going to come down to La Push anymore. I didn't mean it but his nonchalant response hurt, as if he didn't care whether we hung out anymore.

_"Jake you are not my brother and you are definitely not my father so cut it out and it doesn't matter, no one gets to say who I can and can't date!" I screamed at him._

_"I'm your friend Bella, I'm just telling you how I feel, and I am entitled to that much." He huffed kicking the dirt floor of the garage, looking a little hurt. _

_"Noted Jake, now let it go. I like him ok!?" _

_"Whatever Bella, I can see what I say doesn't matter to you anymore." He stormed from his garage and following his lead I left too._

That was the last time we had seen one another. I tried to call him and apoligize but after I gave my ultimatum Jake wouldn't take my calls and finally I stopped trying. He was being childish and if he wasn't going to put in the effort neither was I. It hurt though, that he didn't care enough about our friendship to put things aside and although I know the old saying "mates before dates" I failed to think of it as my fault. It wasn't as if I had abandoned our friendship, we still spent almost the same amount of time together, I just now had a boyfriend. This was bound to happen to one of us someday, Jake was just going to have to get over it. I could date who I wanted and if he wasn't able to give me a solid reason as to why he didn't like James it was going to stay that way.

I missed him though, especially now. I groaned internally as I made my way downstairs. _How to fill the day?_ I thought. I desperately needed a distraction so I wouldn't think about yesterday's troubles and how my world seemed to be falling apart. _Just a day of fun... by myself_, I thought miserably. No James, no Jake, no Charlie and no Jess or Mike.

Mike had text me late last night to say he was going to spend the day with Jess, something about getting her to talk to him and her mother and trying to convince her to lay charges of which she had no intention of doing. I could understand her reasons because even though I would love to see Laurent get his just deserves, with no witnesses and not forgetting the fact that he was jumping at any chance to discredit her, I have the feeling that it would cause Jess even more trouble. She was afraid of what everyone would think, of her mother and of Laurent. She wanted to get past it but I couldn't see how she could with Laurent around. Mike was optimistic that since there wasn't much of the school year left that Jess could miss the rest and wait until Laurent moves off to college. I didn't share his optimism. People were going to start asking questions, she would get behind at school and there was no way her mother or the school were going to let her do that unless she gave them a reason, which meant telling them something.

But I promised I wouldn't think about any of that today and I pushed it from the my mind as I searched the kitchen for breakfast before settling on some frozen pop tarts I found in the freezer. As I waited for them to cook I picked up my old copy of Wuthering Heights opening it to a random page as I often did and began to read.

_"...treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends; they wound those who resort to them worse than their enemies."_ - _Arghh bad idea_, my books aren't going to be enough of a distraction today.

As if sensing my desperation the phone rang and I leap for it with optimism. "Hello, Swan residence," _– don't I sound all proper, _I laughed to myself.

"Hey Bell's I was ringing to see if ya had any plans today," I had to look at the phone to check the caller id before I realised the voice belonged to Rosalie.

"Hey Rose," I chirped as I stuffed half a pop tart into my mouth. "Nope, no plans, did ya have something in mind?"

"Eww Bella! Don't talk with your mouth full," she squealed in disgust. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come round for a girlie day of chocolate and movies?" I swallowed my mouthful before I answered.

"You had me at chocolate," I laughed.

"K come round soon," she laughed in return. Following her orders I wolfed down the rest of my 'nutritious' meal and headed upstairs to shower and change into something more comfortable for movie watching and chocolate eating, my mood immediately lifting.

....

* * *

....

As I made my way up the Hale's driveway I tried to remember the last time I had been here. I could call Rose a friend and I did like her it's just that we seemed to move in different circles, she didn't come to the boys after game parties, not that I blame her. I wouldn't go to them either if I had a choice but as they were held at James's flat I sort of felt obligated. So the only time Rose and I really hung out was if Emmett and James did something together which wasn't often. The Hales had a nice home and they definitely had taste. The gardens were vast and neatly pruned, much nicer that the well worn, small mud drive and lawn at Charlie's house.

As I parked my old rusted Chevy I noticed how it looked out of place next to Rosalie's new red coupe and Jaspers flashy black sedan. I had no idea what makeor model they were but I knew they were expensive as I often saw some of the other guys ogling them in jealously. It was then that I realized that there were two other cars in the drive that didn't belong to the Hales. One I recognised as Emmett's big obnoxious jeep and the other was the silver Volvo that I had caught a ride home in on Thursday night, my stomach dropped. _Rosalie had said a girlie day hadn't she?_ There was no way I was dressed appropriately to be around boys, _especially not a certain boy with bronze coloured hair and green eyes,_ my subconscious taunted. I contemplated whether or not to get out of the car when I realized that there was no way they wouldn't have heard me make my way up the long gravel drive in my ridiculously loud truck.

I groaned and mentally cursed Rosalie. I tried to fix the mess that was my hair in the mirror quickly before I hoped out of the cab slamming the door hard behind me. I stomped my way up to the door and before I could knock, it opened. There Rosalie stood in all her beauty and definitely not dressed in a way that suggested she planned to spend that day on the couch stuffing her face. I mentally cursed her again.

"Alice said she saw you arrive...she thinks she's psychic," Rose giggled mockingly. I relaxed quickly as I realised that Alice was here and that was why the Volvo was parked in the drive.

"I never said psychic," called a high pitched voice from the vicinity of the Hales lounge. Rosalie rolled her eyes before ushering me in and closing the door behind me.

"I thought since Alice was new to town I would invite her round, didn't realise she was such a little weirdo," Rosalie teased in a voice loud enough for Alice to hear.

"I did see her coming," squealed Alice who skipped into the room causing us to double over in laughter at the sight of her. Alice who was tiny was glowering at both of us daring us to contradict her, it was more funny than menacing at all – it was hard to take her tiny pixie like frame as a serious threat.

"More like you heard her loud old truck on the gravel drive like the rest of us," laughed a voice from behind. Immediately I felt my stomach muscles contract as I turned to see Edward leaning against the hallway wall. He looked gorgeous as always, dressed in dark wash jeans and a black shirt, he wore his crooked grin and I felt my face warm under his gaze. In his hand he was holding a duffle bag from which I could see contained baseball gear. Alice groaned storming from the room but not before throwing what I guessed was meant to be a menacing glare in Edwards's direction. Rose and Edward erupted in a fit of laughter while I remained silent wishing I was wearing anything but my ugly loose fitting jeans and blue tank top. Edward noticed my silence.

"Hey," he nodded in my direction.

"Hi," I mumbled looking at my feet. I could feel the heat in my face and it was embarrassing, I hated how he had that effect on me. _Stupid Rosalie, _I thought. "So what are you guys doing here?" I asked as I motioned to Jasper and Emmett who were coming down the stairs. "I thought we were having a girlie day," I accused glaring at Rosalie.

"We are," she quickly shot back. "Edward just dropped off Alice and he and the boys are heading out to get in some ball practice." Edward nodded towards the bag in his hands confirming Rose's explanation.

"That we are," he smiled staring at me again. _He must be wondering why I'm dressed like a bum._

"You girls are welcome to join us if you want," Emmett offered. "It could be some fun." He chuckled – probably imagining Rosalie trying to play ball without getting dirty or ruining her hairdo and the thought of clumsy me trying to play any sport at all.

"Uh I don't think that's wise," I hedged as he doubled over in laughter confirming my suspicions. "Plus I was promised chocolate," I glanced at Rosalie for some help.

"Nope definitely a girlie day today," she hurriedly agreed obviously not keen on playing either. I shot a glance at Edward and noticed relief clear in his expression and I felt a little sick.

_Didn't he want to be around me? _I thought before I brushed it off, _why was I being so self-absorbed? _Before I could start to feel sorry for myself or guilty for caring about how Edward felt about me, Rosalie grabbed me by the arm dragging me towards the lounge.

"Bye boys," she shouted over her shoulder.

"He wait," called Emmett. "Where's my goodbye kiss?" He stomped into the lounge and was followed by Edward and Jasper who were laughing. He glared at the boys which caused them to stop almost at once. "You're just jealous," he growled before turning back in Rosalie's direction making loud kissing noises with his lips.

"Oh for goodness sakes," she laughed rolling her eyes but turning red in the process as she leaned in to kiss Emmett. Not to be put out Emmett grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his massive bear grip over exaggerating the kiss which caused the boys to groan in disgust and Rose to struggle in embarrassment. I caught Edward looking at me as they kissed and I turned to look out the window my face growing hot again, _ahhh why does he do that to me?_

"See ya girlies," Emmett boomed.

"Bye boys," we called in unison.

"Enjoy the movie and don't eat too much chocolate," Edward warned, winking in my direction. I closed my eyes willing myself not to blush.

"See you later Alice," Jasper mumbled shyly which caught my attention. Rosalie and I spun to look at Alice who had turned beetroot red.

"By Jasper," she whispered looking at the floor. This caused Rosalie fall to the floor in a fit of laughter and I couldn't help myself but follow her lead. Jasper almost ran from the room, clearly horrified.

"Ohhh Alice," Rosalie moaned in between giggles. "Alice, Alice, I love you Alice," she teased as she imitated her brother.

"Shut it," Alice cried, mortified. "Stop!" she squealed as she pounced on Rosalie who was now pretending to make out with herself. They rolled on the floor in a mock scuffle before Alice couldn't help but join in on the laughter.

"Okay, okay," Rosalie panted, getting to her feet. "Popcorn, chocolate and movie?" she asked.

"Yes please," Alice and I answered.

Rose put on the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice much to my enjoyment, it was one of my favourite movies. She dragged in blankets and pillows along with the promised chocolate and popcorn and complimentary juice and cider as we settled in to watch the five hour long series. This was turning out to be just the distraction I needed.

....

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....

**EPOV**

I just couldn't seem to get her out of my head. Everything about her made me want her more. The way she blushed when she caught me staring at her and how she glared at Rosalie when she thought that we boys were going to crash the girls' day in. She was so unbelievably gorgeous when she was mad. I groaned internally when I thought of the way her warm body smelled when she was in my arms yesterday and how she fit so perfectly in them.

The thought of everything that had happened between us in just the short two days I had known her had kept me up most of last night. I had _never _felt this way about a girl. No girl had ever been in every single one of my subconscious and conscious thoughts as Isabella Swan seemed to be. I was starting to wonder if I was going a bit insane.

To make matters worse I thought I had given myself away earlier when I had asked Alice if Bella was going to be joining her and Rose today. Alice had given me a weird look before she confirmed that Rose had invited Bella, I was ecstatic. The mere thought of getting to see her today bought a smile to my face. Alice looked somewhat confused at my reaction which I hurriedly tried to cover up, before she ran off to her room to get ready.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of Bella that I almost missed how nervous Alice seemed to be about going over to the Hales. Part of it I put down to being excited about making friends but when I asked what had gotten into her she blushed before almost yelling at me to mind my own business, that made me think that perhaps her attitude had something to do with Jasper Hale. I was happy for her, like me no one had caught her eye until now, but I was a little envious because at least she had a chance. Not only was the girl of my dreams taken but I if she weren't I would have a lot of competition, Bella was smart, beautiful and kind and I was already aware that many thought the same - and I had only been in Forks for just over three days.

Suddenly I was brought back into the realty as Emmett's Jeep jolted over the rough uneven terrain, he hooted in satisfaction.

"So Edward...any girls at school caught your attention yet?" Jasper egged turning around in the passenger seat to face me. I had to look out the window so that when I answered it would appear that I was telling the truth.

"Uh, no not yet," I answered. Jasper smirked at my reaction clearly seeing through the lie.

"Oh come on man spill, who is she?" he pressured.

"I bet its Tanya," Emmett grinned in the rear view mirror. I knew who Tanya was, I had bumped into her yesterday after I left Bella in the cafeteria - I shook my head at the thought of what had happened to Bella when I left and I cursed myself internally for not being there. Tanya was a typical high-school cheerleader; I admit she was rather good looking with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes but her shameless flirting was a bit of a turn off.

"Yea I met her," I admitted. "Nice legs," keeping on this path was better than them finding out the truth.

"Course she does," Emmett commented. "She's Rose's cousin." Emmett was obviously quite proud of that fact that he had a remarkably attractive girlfriend. But to be honest I preferred brunettes and a certain one in particular, one with chocolate brown eyes and rose coloured cheeks - S_top!_ I mentally cursed.

"That makes her my cousin too," Jazz chided. "So she gets her legs from me." He laughed rolling up his track pants to flaunt his legs in Emmett's face. Em growled pushing Jasper's leg away but then chuckled at the joke.

"Anyway so how about it?" Emmett continued. I shook my head.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I guess Tanya's good looking but she's not my type," I answered truthfully.

"What is your type then?" Jazz riled, raising an eyebrow. "Taken?" I mentally blanched at his comment – how could he possibly know? Was I that transparent?

"- what?" I stuttered. Jazz turned to face me again.

"Oh come on man, I could totally feel a vibe back there, you have a thing for Bella don't you?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, Jazz was so direct I couldn't think fast enough to cover up shock and guilt that was bound to be written all over my face.

"Uh no... I mean she's good looking," I shrugged.

_Good looking was an understatement she was breathtaking, not to mention selfless, smart and amazing – I am turning into such a sap. _

"But as you said she's taken," I added but Jazz wasn't buying it.

"Bro you couldn't stop looking at her," he accused.

"Jazz come on. How could you possibly have noticed Edward watching Bella when you were so busy trying to hunt out his little sister," Emmett countered. Jasper turned red and looked out the window, this time guilt and embarrassment was written all over his face.

_So it isn't just Alice who has a crush, Jasper feels_ _the same...This I could use as_ _ammunition_, I thought smiling to myself and glad to have the subject off Bella and me for a minute so I could regain my composure.

"Anyways," Emmett continued. "Bella _is_ taken and James is a pretty good guy." I couldn't help but snort at Emmett's evaluation which caused him to be the one to raise his eyebrow. "I know what you think Edward but yesterday was an overreaction. James isn't usually like that." I rolled my eyes.

"He isn't the overly jealous type who doesn't care if he hurts his own girlfriend when he exacts his title to her?" I questioned.

"No, actually he usually isn't that quick to anger," he defended. "How would you feel if the situation was reversed?" he countered. Emmett was right. I had thought about this yesterday, if Bella were mine and how I wished that she were; I guess I would want to rip out the throat of any male who touched her, especially if they thought about her as much as I did.

"It doesn't matter," I shook my head. "If the situation were reversed I would never have hurt her like he did."

Jasper groaned. "Give it a rest! It was an accident. We get it, you like her but nothing can happen because she is with James and if you want to keep your head you will leave her alone," he growled.

"I don't like her," I lied – well not entirely, 'Like' couldn't begin to describe how I already felt about Bella.

"Good," Emmett stated. "End of story. Now let's forget about girls...single or not," he looked pointedly at Jazz who caught my eye, turned red again and then looked back out the window. "This is starting to turn into a girlie gossip session. Let's go flex some male ego and play ball." He pulled the car into a spot, putting it in park and jumped from the cab.

_Good_, I thought. _I need a distraction from thinking about Bella Swan and her ass of a boyfriend._

I was rather enthused about playing today and when Emmett had suggested earlier that the girls come too and they had declined, I was relieved. I could hardly keep my hands off Bella back at the house, when she blushed or crinkled up her face in mock anger I wanted to hold her, stroke her cheek with my hand to see if it felt as warm as it looked. It was bad enough that I couldn't keep my eyes off her, every facial expression, every movement, even how she held her hands when she spoke, had me mesmerised. Her baggy pants made her look cute and rather fragile which made me want to hold her in my arms even more and the blue tank top she was wearing offset the colour of her skin perfectly, she was simply stunning - I sighed. _I really need this distraction otherwise I am going to lose it_, I thought. There is no way I would be able to control myself if she were here.

"Let's play some ball," I said overly enthused at the thought of having my mind back, even if only for a moment.

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**A/N – K let me know what you think (review) and I promise a speedier update. :) **


	10. What was I thinking?

**Thanks to VampPixyJAK for giving me the idea for the first part of this chapter, Angelnlove52, as always for being a great beta, Goldangel121 and TwilightCullenLvr9 for your awesome reviews. And everyone who added the story to their Favs or alerts or reviewed. I love reading your ideas and thoughts so gove me more. As promised there will be another chapter to follow this week. **

**Review and you shall recieve lol. :)**

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10. What was I thinking?

**EPOV**

....

Practice was going great and I was really enjoying myself, it was nice of Emmett and Jasper to invite me out and I was starting to think that we would become good friends. They were both really cool, laid back guys and they were definitely a lot of fun-even if Emmett would sulk when he wasn't winning and Jasper was a bit of a show off; which didn't seem to help with Emmett's sulking at all. It was a lot of fun, they would purposely wind each other up just to get a reaction but then get all moody when the other did it in return, they were close friends that I could tell. But it wasn't long until I was drug into some teasing too.

"So Jasper," I shouted as he got ready for Emmett to pitch the ball. "I was thinking that I wouldn't mind at all if you decided to ask Alice out." He stood, shocked and before he could answer; Emmett flicked out a wicked curve ball that Jasper didn't seem to even see.

"Strike one," Emmett shouted with a wicked grin. Jasper's face turned into a scowl.

"Oh, you are dead Cullen!" he growled as he swung his bat around indicating he was ready for pitch number two.

"You don't have to kill me to date Alice you know," I laughed trying for a second time to distract him. His face turned red but he didn't take his eyes off Emmett, who had already pulled another ball from his pocket.

"But it would be so much easier," he teased as he swung the bat on Emmett's second pitch, connecting hard and sending the ball fast and over my head. He took off running but I was faster, I managed to get to the ball and fling it back to Emmett before Jazz could claim second base.

It was then Emmett's turn to pitch for me and as he took the mound, I swung my bat around teasingly as I eyed Jasper in the distance.

"If Emmett doesn't manage to strike you out Eddy boy I'll be here with my hands ready," Jazz called from where he was fielding. I chuckled to myself at the thought – no way was Jasper going to catch me out.

It was down to this one last ball, Jasper was leading our mock game but if I managed to get a home run off this one hit I would win. We had played 2 of these games already and Jazz had won both of them. I knew that Emmett was on my side and wanted badly for Jasper to lose this one game just so he wouldn't have to endure Jazz's victory dance and constant self praise. I admit it was starting to wear on me but it had Emmett seriously on edge – I could see his brow wrinkle in frustration and his shoulders tense every time Jazz opened his mouth. Emmett already planned to throw me a slow ball just in the hope that I could hit it hard enough that it could pass Jazz and I could get my home run. We knew it was cheating but we were both anticipating the satisfaction of knocking Jazz off his ladder – it would be worth it.

So I stood on the batters mound waiting for Emmett to pitch; mentally blocking out Jaspers taunts. I watched as Emmet wound his arm and winked at me as he let go of a relatively slow moving ball – well slow for Emmett anyway. To my satisfaction Emmett threw it low and to the outside, just where I liked it. As my bat struck the ball, I knew instantly that I was in trouble - I hadn't hit it hard enough, Jazz was going to catch it and he knew it. He ran, with his glove ready, to precisely the spot where the ball looked to land. I only had a small amount time to take in the horrified expression of Emmett and only seconds left before that ball fell perfectly into Jazz's open hand.

"Hey Edward, Jazz said Alice a nice arse!" Emmett bellowed thinking fast. That did it; Jazz took his eye off the ball for a mere second as he turned red and glared at Emmett to retort.

"I DID NO-" He didn't get to finish as the ball hit the ground. "SHIT!" he cursed as he rushed to pick up the ball. The instant the ball hit the ground I was running. I made it to second base before Jasper managed to get to the ball and throw it to Emmett. Playing his part Emmett missed the catch allowing me to get to third.

"Oh clumsy me," Emmett mockingly groaned trying hard not to laugh. I could almost hear Jasper's frustration as he watched Emmett lumber over to the ball kicking it with his feet and then pretending to stumble as he picked it up. I was home before he had even turned around.

....

So we thought that it would be great to knock Jasper off his victory ladder – well we were wrong. Jasper wined on and on about how we cheated him out of the game and we were a bunch of bad losers – look who's talking, so he challenged us to a rematch. We declined, we were exhausted and we knew that there was no way we were going to beat Jasper now.

"Nah Jazz....we won't speak of your terrible loss ever again if we can go," Emmett teased half heartedly. Jasper glowered at him before he nodded.

"'Kay, I guess there is only so much thrashing you guys can take," he laughed as he started to pack up his gear.

"Cool, I want to see what the girls are up to," Emmett exclaimed with a wicked grin, throwing his gear into the back of the car, before hoping in and turning the engine revving it in anticipation. He was clearly ready to head back to Rose. I on the other hand felt apprehensive about seeing Bella, just thinking her name started to cloud my mind – I wonder if she thought about me at all the way I thought about her? _Unlikely_, was the only answer I could come up with.

We made it back to the Hale's house without much drama as we were all feeling a little too tired to hassle one another. When we arrived I jumped from the cab and grabbed my things ready for a warm shower but it seemed Jasper had the same idea. As he passed heading for the house he gave me a slap on the back.

"Dibs first shower dude," he called as he rushed toward the front door. But I was quick on his heel and we reached the door together pushing each other as we entered. We had a minor scuffle as we headed toward the bathroom but I managed to get in first, shutting and locking the door behind me. Jasper banged and cursed outside the door as I grinned to myself.

After I was showered I headed towards the kitchen from which I could smell something delicious cooking. I entered to find Alice and Bella flipping pancakes and cooking bacon. Rose was preoccupied batting away Emmett who was trying to wrap her up in a bear hug.

"Ew Em get away from me," she cried swatting at him with a tea towel. "You smell," she groaned. A grin was plastered on his face as he stalked her.

"But I missed you," he whined as he lunged forward grabbing her by the waist. Rosalie anticipated the movement and artfully turned out of his embrace running from the kitchen. Emmett laughed as he chased her down - his expression reminding me of a child playing kiss catch (more excited about the chase than the actual kissing).

"Hungry?" Alice chirped with her back still turned from me as she flipped a pancake. In response my stomach growled.

"I guess that's a yes," Bella laughed. The sound made my heart jump; she had the most beautiful laugh. She was wearing a black apron that was covered in flour which she had also managed to get in her hair and on her face. I chuckled at the sight of her which caused her to blush.

"I have flour on my face don't I?" she asked. I nodded in response still unable to open my mouth. She was the cutest thing I had ever seen. She tried in vain to wipe the flour from her face with the back of her hand but instead she made more of a mess. I stepped forward and without thinking grabbed a tea towel off the bench and dusted her nose and cheek. She laughed again at the gesture, blushing deeply and my heart warmed. I reached for a stray strand of hair and tucked it gently behind her ear.

"Better?" she questioned quietly meeting my gaze; raising her right brow.

"Much," I smiled return, my hand still cupping her face. Her lips parted as my thumb brushed them, I closed my eyes as I felt her cool breath against my skin, I almost lost it right there. Our bodies were close and I could feel Bella's warmth, smell her sweet smell, I was tempted to lean in and take in more of her scent when Alice coughed to get our attention. Bella blushed a deep crimson, I dropped my hand instantly and felt my face warm as I realised I had forgotten Alice was even in the room. I turned to face my little sister with the shame of a boy caught stealing cookies written on my face but she held my eye for only a second with clear disapproval before she continued cooking.

"You can get out the plates and cutlery Edward," she ordered. I did as she asked getting lost in all the Hale's cupboards but finally managed to find everything. Just as I laid out the plates and cutlery I heard a car pull up the drive and two doors slam.

"Expecting anyone?" I asked looking at Bella and Alice. Alice shook her head but looked at Bella questioningly.

"J-" Alice began before she was interrupted by a loud pounding on the door.

I walked over to answer the door but Rosalie came bounding down the stairs beating me to the punch. As she opened the door I caught a glimpse of a person that I had had enough of seeing in the last two days. James was standing in the door way, his face contorted and red with anger, Laurent stood only a few feet behind him.

"Where is he?" he spat at Rosalie who took a step back in shock.

"Where is who?" she answered acidly recovering quickly. James made a move to enter the house but Rosalie shifted her body to block his advance. Crossing her arms over her chest she spoke again, "Your friend isn't welcome here," she stated nodding towards Laurent.

"We aren't staying long," he replied not making eye contact but searching over her shoulder until he spotted Bella. His eyes rested on Bella for only a second before he turned his attention to me, his expression becoming unfathomable, his nostrils flaring.

James pushed past Rosalie with force knocking her into the opened door. Laurent made a move to enter but Rosalie was quick to her feet. "Get out of my house!" she screamed. Hearing Rosalie's scream both Emmett and Jasper quickly made their way downstairs. Seeing Laurent and Rose facing one another, expressions filled with rage, Emmett reached around Rosalie and slammed the door in Laurent's face. Jasper rushed to Alice's side his stance tense; Alice's eyes had grown wide with worry. He took her hand and bent whispering something in her ear, when she shook her head he immediately relaxed, taking her hand in his.

James ignored Rosalie and continued to make his towards Alice, Bella and I, coming to a stop only a meter away from where I was standing. "What the fuck is he doing here?" he hissed at Bella who stood a few feet behind and to the right of me. It was obvious he was referring to me. Bella flinched at his words – _she's scared of him_, I thought. My first reaction was to protect her but my instincts warned me against it; _it will only make things worse_. Bella opened her mouth to answer but Jasper cut in.

"Edward, Em and I played a little ball today, we left our cars here and took Em's Jeep so we could get up to the field," he explained shrugging. Without evening acknowledging Jaspers explanation James gestured to Bella.

"We're leaving," he grunted; turning his back to us, heading for the door. Bella remained still, from her expression it looked as if she was contemplating what to say.

"We haven't finished lunch," she mumbled looking at the floor, her cheeks red with embarrassment; her hands were shaking a little. _What happened to her? Yesterday she threw herself between James and me; now she shakes in his presence._ My fists bawled at my next thought -_did he hurt her?_

James turned on his heel his face still contorted. "Bella," he seethed. "I said we are leaving." Bella looked up then her brow becoming lined as she frowned.

"No James. I want to stay for lunch," she rebuked, raising an eyebrow. She was trying to act confident but her voice betrayed her. James's expression twisted even more as he took in what she had said and then it softened.

"We can get something on the way Bells," he offered walking over, ignoring me as he passed. He took her hand and began to lead her from the room.

"I want to stay," she said again. I watched as she tried but failed to pull her hand from his.

"I think she wants to stay James," Emmett stated. Ignoring his comment James continued to lead Bella from the house with her struggling.

I had had enough; as they passed I put my hand on his shoulder spinning him around to face me. As he spun he continued to grip Bella's hand which meant she went spinning with him and into me. I grabbed her around the waist as she stumbled, pulling her from James grasp, steadying her. "She wants to stay," I growled. James's reaction was expected, taking in my hold on his girlfriend; he growled.

"This is the last time you will touch her Cullen," he roared charging towards me. But before things could turn violent Bella slipped from my hold and hurried towards her boyfriend; putting her hands on his chest; stopping him in his tracks. He continued to hold my gaze his fists curling in rage.

"Let's just go James," she whispered.

"I think that's wise," Jasper agreed. I was about to tell Bella she didn't have to when I caught Jasper's furious expression. He shook his head, 'leave it,' he mouthed. Against my instincts screaming at me to stop her, I did as he said.

Without a backward glance Bella and James left. Everyone remained silent and still until we couldn't hear James's car on the gravel drive any longer and then Jasper broke the silence as he stormed over to where I was stood and shoved me hard.

"What the hell Edward?" he seethed, his teeth clenched. "What the fuck were you thinking?" I didn't know what to say, I couldn't understand his anger. James had over reacted, treated Bella like absolute shit and he was mad at me? Jasper grabbed me by the collar shoving me into the kitchen wall.

"You have to forget about Bella Swan," he growled. "She is taken. Stop touching her. Stop putting yourself between her and James. You did it yesterday and you did it again just now." He shook his head. "You are causing her trouble, us trouble and the team trouble. Find someone else or..." he stopped his rant as Alice appeared from nowhere and placed her hand on his arm.

"I think he gets it," she whispered. He turned to look at me his anger all but gone.

"I hope so," he sighed, leaving the kitchen; Alice in tow.

Emmett and Rose stood by the door to the kitchen and looked sympathetically at me before heading upstairs together. I walked over to the kitchen stove and turned off the element; lunch was ruined the pancakes burnt. I took a seat on the bar stool, put my head in my hands and contemplated Jaspers words.

'_...forget about Bella Swan.'_

That would be easier said than done.


	11. Promised to the Devil

**As promised! Thanks everyone for your reviews (especially those who just joined the story and reviewed every chap - thanks :):)) - I love your ideas and hearing how you all hate James and Laurent :). Big thanks to my awesome beta Angelnlove52 and VampPixyJAK who I also adopted to help with this chapter. And a shout out to TwilightCullenLvr9 cos your awesome too haha! Check out their stories, Stand Still, When Yesterday Hurts, The Cullens are at it Again and Penthouse in Paradise. They are all awesome!**

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11. Promised to the devil

....

BPOV

I finally managed to pull my hand free of James's once we were outside the Hale's house. He turned to look at me with a furious glower. I glared at him before storming over to my truck. _Stuff him_, I thought harshly. _I can't believe the shit he just put me through._ James tried to follow me to my truck but I hopped in quickly, slamming and locking the door.

"Come on Bella, don't be a spoil sport. Let me drive you home," he sighed, talking to me like I was an being childish. Laurent was watching us as he leaned on James's car, his expression amused.

"I'm not getting in a car with him," I hissed through the closed window. "Besides I _can_ drive myself home."

"Open the door Bella," he growled pulling at the handle. I sighed and worried for the safety of my truck door, I leaned over to open the cab, giving in. I wanted to leave the Hale's as soon as possible to save myself further embarrassment, so I didn't put up a fight as he hopped in.

"Meet you at Bella's," James called to Laurent chucking him the keys. Laurent shook his head slightly as he caught them and chuckled.

"She sure is fiery today Jimmy," still shaking his head he jumped in the car and gunned the engine. Pissed off at both him and James, I started my car quickly and slammed it into first, lurching forward and cutting Laurent off, almost hitting James' pride and joy in the process. I felt a smile grow on my face as I took in the terrified expression on Laurent's face.

"Watch it," James cried nervously, clutching at the arm rest. Ignoring him, I revved the engine again before taking off down the drive, flicking up stones and dust as I went.

The journey back to my house was a quiet one, James turned on the radio, but I snapped it off quickly, not in the mood for the chirpy song that blasted through the speakers. We didn't speak the entire journey until we reached Charlie's house, where I pulled over and silently motioned to him to get out.

"Look Bella I'm sorry," he grovelled, not making a move at all to get out of the truck.

"I've been hearing that a lot lately, don't you think?" I asked rhetorically, still not making eye contact.

"I am though," he whispered as he reached over, I flinched as his hand almost touched my face; I leaned away from him. He retracted his hand quickly and looked at me in shock.

"You're scared of me?" he asked horrified.

"Shouldn't I be?" I tried to muster some confidence but as I spoke my voice cracked; I was on the verge of tears. _Stupid angry tears_, I thought.

"No, of course not Bells. I told you it would never happen again. I promised, didn't I?" he answered still trying to look me in the eye. I kept my eyes on my hands in my lap and played with the key ring Renee had given me for my birthday. It was a letter B encrusted with different coloured gemstones, it sparkled in the light. I flipped it over and pretended to study it carefully before I found the courage to speak again.

"I want to believe you James. But what happened just now with Edward, in front of everyone. What was that all about?" I questioned, looking up to meet his eyes. His mouth formed a tight line and he immediately averted his gaze and started to pick at the arm rest -it annoyed me, everyone thought that because my truck was old and rusty and probably a little past its use by, that they didn't have to respect it; I loved my truck.

"I don't know," he mumbled rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "I have no idea what came over me."

"Bullshit," I called him out; anger giving me courage. "You did the same yesterday."

He shrugged, dragging his hand through his blond spiky hair before he answered, "Just jealous, I suppose."

"Of what?" I screamed at him, "Because I was talking to some guy, because he grabbed me when I fell?" _– Because he causes my heart to race at his touch? _I quickly shook my head to dispel the thought and reverted back to glaring at James, waiting for his answer.

"Well?" I pushed. He shrugged again, frustrating me further.

"Forget it," I mumbled hopping out of the truck, I slammed the door and headed for the house without a backward glance, fiddling with the keys in my hand before I found the right one for the front door.

I didn't even hear James approach from behind, so when he grabbed my wrist I dropped my keys in shock. I watched in dismay as they key ring Renee had got me shattered on the concrete path. I bent quickly to pick up the pieces dragging James down with me.

"Shit Bella, I'm so sorry," he moaned letting go of my wrist, helping me to collect the pieces. "I'll buy you a new one." I shook my head not answering him, he couldn't replace it, it was from Renee, and it was special.

"I can try fixing it," he suggested reaching over to lift my chin with his forefinger. When our eyes met he cocked his head to the side; his piercing blue eyes conveying his apology, he seemed genuinely sincere.

"It's ok, it was an accident," I whispered as I stood. James followed my lead standing as I did, his eyes continued to search my face for something.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he mumbled again looking at the broken pieces in his hand.

"I know, it's ok, it was an accident," I reassured him.

"No...I mean I'm sorry for everything. Not just this," he motioned to the broken key ring. "But for before with Cullen and... for yesterday." He looked up at me and reached over touching my face lightly in the spot where he had hit me, remorse filled his face. I dropped my gaze to my feet, and he dropped his hand looking back down at the broken key ring pieces again.

"I'm going to lose you, aren't I?" he whispered. I didn't know what to say to that, I hadn't thought about it that much, I had already decided to give him another chance yesterday, but now I didn't know what to do. I couldn't keep putting up with his mood swings, I couldn't handle him embarrassing me or flipping out in front of everyone and I didn't want to be scared of the one person I was meant to feel safe with.

When I didn't answer straight away he looked at me panicked. "Bella?" he questioned apprehensively putting his hands on my shoulders shaking me slightly, trying to force an answer from me. I shook my head.

"I don't know James," I sighed truthfully. "Things aren't the same anymore." That was an understatement; things were totally out of whack, upside down, crazy. I was losing control of everything and I had no idea how to fix any of it.

James let go of my shoulders and grabbed my hands; his expression wild. "Please don't do this," he begged. "I can fix it, I can make it better. We can go back to how things were."

_Could we? _I wasn't even sure if I could remember how things used to be with anything. Could I get the old happy Jess back? What about Jake?

"We were happy, Bella. We had lots of fun," he reminded me. I nodded in agreement things had been good. I had been happy, Jake, Mike and Jess had been happy too. Everything had changed though, _ever since Laurent moved in with James_ – I thought acidly.

"I miss it," I admitted instead of sharing my thoughts. He smiled in return and brought me into a tight hug.

"I'll fix it," he promised in my ear, his voice filled with hope. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and then pulled back to evaluate my expression. "If you want me to," he hedged taking in my hesitant expression. These were the moments I missed, being in his warm embrace, him promising me the world and anything else I wanted.

Without thinking I leaned back into him, taking in more of his warmth – immediately I was reminded of a similar embrace and even though I felt immediately guilty, I found myself comparing this moment with the one I had shared earlier with Edward. With Edward things were new, he was someone new and I tried to tell myself that that was why my heart raced and my face warmed when I was with him. But it wasn't just that. Yesterday when he comforted me I felt safe and at ease, like the world's problems had just disappeared. With James it didn't feel the same, I didn't feel as safe or protected and my problems were still there, wedged between our bodies, pushing us apart.

But it would be too easy to give up and it would be cowardly to do so. Just because we had hit a rough patch didn't mean I should just throw it all away, just as I didn't want to give up on my friendship with Jake, or Jess's happiness. I knew if we just tried we could all get back there. We just had to try. _Don't we?_

"I love you," he whispered in my ear, nuzzling against my neck.

"I love you too," I whispered back, closing my eyes. I was so tired all the time, the drama was exhausting, all I wanted to do was sleep, forget about everything, but even my dreams didn't allow me to; I shuddered at the reminder of last night. I leaned into James more and relaxed a little. What I said wasn't a lie; despite everything I did still love him, but for some reason being in James's embrace made me feel guilty, like I often felt when I thought about Edward.

"Can I come in?" he asked, stroking my back with his hand. I shook my head, Charlie's cruiser was in the drive- it probably wasn't a wise idea. Charlie was still a little bit funny about me dating, he knew about James but he didn't really like it, the only boy he happily allowed me to be around was Jake.

"Maybe another time," I offered. James's panicked expression returned before he covered it with a smile and continued to trace patterns on my back.

"OK," he conceded. "Maybe you could come around later tonight?" he renegotiated.

"Will Laurent be there?" I raised an eyebrow. I did not want to be in the same room as him – actually I didn't even want to be in the same state as him _– no screw that, not even the same planet!_ As if my thoughts summoned him a horn sounded. I looked over James' shoulder and noticed Laurent sitting in James' black mustang, looking agitated. _I wonder how long he's been sitting there._

"Probably," James admitted answering my question, glaring at Laurent.

"You should probably go," I gestured towards Laurent who was looking more impatient by the second as he pulled faces at us from the driver's seat.

"Yea, I guess," he squeezed my hands, searching my face with doubt. "I love you," he said again, but with force as if he was trying to convince me of it. He started to leave but then stopped; it looked like he was thinking something over. He turned back to face me and closed the short distance that separated us quickly. He hesitated for only a second before he leaned in and kissed me. I returned the gesture but with less enthusiasm than he required. He pressed his lips harder against mine, crushing them with his, he reached around me to place his hand on the small of my back and pulled my body tightly against his. I didn't fight the kiss but I didn't reciprocate either.

"I know," I mumbled as his lips left mine for air. He smiled and leaned in for another kiss when Laurent wolf whistled. He sighed and turned to glare in Laurent's direction again. "You better go," I said again.

"Kay, but don't forget what I said," he warned, leaning in to kiss my cheek, placing the broken pieces of my key ring in my hands. He looked apologetically again at them and then hurried over to his car. I watched him shove Laurent as he hopped in and then wave as they took off at speed, the tires squealing as they left.

_Great Charlie will love that, _sarcasm laced my thoughts.

I knew I had let James's off lightly, there was no excuse for his behaviour but I felt that Laurent was really to blame and that's why I found it easy to forgive him. It also didn't help that I did feel some connection to Edward that he obviously picked up on; I was partly to blame too.

I didn't like watching his tortured expression as he tried to convey how sorry he felt, but I couldn't help feeling that maybe the emotion was a little bit forced. That he didn't really feel as sorry as he sounded, why else would he continue to act the way he did? Hopefully I scared him enough with the thought of losing me that he will get his act together. It wasn't just a scare tactic though; _I will leave him if he doesn't, _I promised myself_._ But for now I had allowed him the opportunity to fix it.

....

I don't know how long I stood in the drive staring at the road contemplating my actions and the fate of everyone I knew. But I was suddenly aware that I wasn't alone.

"Hey," a deep husky and familiar voice called. Jake was leaning against a tree wearing only a tight white singlet and grease covered denim cut off shorts, even though he had to be freezing. I often wondered if he wore the clothes to be a show-off. He did have a nice physique; tanned, toned and muscular, I often caught girls staring. In Jess's own words Jake 'is a total babe.'

Jake always argued that he dressed the way he did because he didn't really feel the cold and it was convenient, plus the Black family wasn't very wealthy so they didn't have a variety of clothing. It didn't really matter to me; he was Jake all the same.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as I saw Jake standing there his arms folded across his broad chest. I couldn't stop myself as I rushed over to him and threw my arms around his neck.

"Oh Jake I missed you so much," I cried into his shoulder. I felt his body tense under my own as he caught the brunt of my weight as I ran into him. But he didn't return the hug; I leaned back confused at his reaction. "You didn't come here to see me did you?" I accused all the while searching his blank expression, hoping to find something that hinted otherwise.

"I came to pick up Billy actually," he didn't look at me directly as he spoke, rather he looked through me. He put his hands on my arms and gently removed the grip I had on him. I felt my chest tighten at his rejection – why was he being so cold?

"Jake?"

"Look Bella, I can't do this right now," he spoke harshly, cutting me with his words.

"Then why did you even bother to speak in the first place? You should have stayed hidden in the trees!" I shouted angrily, tears filling my eyes with every word. _Why do I have to cry every time I get mad!_

He shrugged, frustrating me. – _Why do guys do that, it's their answer to everything!_

"What was James so upset about?" he asked, his face growing curious.

"How long have you been there?" _How much did he catch? _He shrugged again at my question and I felt my frustration grow.

"Awhile...you didn't answer my question." He shook his head.

"Maybe because it's none of your business," I spat at him, he winced and then his expression softened.

"You used to tell me everything," he whispered reaching my gaze.

"Its' a little hard to tell you things when you aren't willing to listen Jacob, you don't even answer my calls," I accused. He remained silent, my point proven, it was his fault and he knew it.

He straightened his stance and dropped his gaze, looking through me again instead of at me.

"I better see if Billy is ready to go," he headed towards the house. I realised his car wasn't even in the drive.

"Where's your car?"

"Round back," he answered not bothering to turn around.

"Why?" I questioned, it made no sense, Billy was in a wheelchair getting him around to the back of the house would be almost impossible.

"I thought I better drop off your bike since you don't come down to ride it anymore. It will get out of tune." His words shocked me, _brought back my bike? Why would he do that, neither Charlie nor Jake's dad knew we had those bikes. They would absolutely kill us if they did._

"Are you crazy?" The question wasn't rhetorical I actually believed that maybe he was, why else would he risk being grounded for all eternity. And then it dawned on me, "you're doing this on purpose? You want me to get in trouble?"

He shrugged, "Maybe." Verbally slapping me in the face, he turned around to face me his mouth turned up in smirk.

"What the hell, Jake?" I screamed - _What the fuck is his problem? _I ran at him and shoved him with all the force I could muster, but he didn't move an inch, instead he kept smirking at me. I didn't even recognise the expression he wore; he wasn't the Jake I remembered at all. "You are a complete cunt!" I swore at him, tears streaming down my face as I pushed passed him and through the front door. I was about to run to my room but stopped at the stairs and turned to face him as he stood in the door.

"I can't believe I actually spend my nights worrying about you, wanting to fix things. God I can't believe I've shed tears over you!" I screamed, I turned quickly grabbing a hold of the banister and pulled myself quickly up the stairs, but not before I caught his expression – he looked hurt. _Good he deserved to be hurt. It was about time I got through to him. _

I slammed my door and threw myself onto the bed smothering my face with my pillow, letting the sobs rake my body as the pillow silenced me. I knew that I wasn't this upset because of the stupid boy downstairs; these tears flowed because of everything. I was so overwhelmed and overtired. What I really needed was a good night's sleep and one day without drama. But I couldn't even have that, today being the proof of that.

I heard a light tap on my bedroom door – _leave me alone_, I thought harshly. When I didn't answer I heard heavy footsteps descend the stairs. In my pocket I felt my phone vibrate, it was a message from Jake.

_Bella, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I put your bike back in the boot, Charlie won't know. I'm so sorry, but right now I don't think we can be friends. Sorry - Jake._

What the hell kind of message was that? Why couldn't we be friends? I quickly replied – _Why?_

_Because you chose James, _he replied.

The words hurt and anger lashed at my insides. I didn't choose anyone, I told Jake that I was going to continue dating James and that we could still be exactly how we used to be, but he wouldn't have any of it. He made the choice not me. It was him who chose not to talk to me - not to answer my calls. And _he_ just made the decision not to be my friend anymore, not that he had been much of one lately anyway.

I flooded Jake with text messages on those exact thoughts but he didn't reply. I tried to call him but he didn't answer, it was hopeless. I threw my phone on the floor and it bounced under my bed – _good_, I thought, _now I don't have to look at it anymore_. I buried my face in my sheets and cried. Being afraid of tears, Charlie didn't come up to check on me for which I was truly grateful. I didn't want him to ask me what had happened and I didn't need his input or advice. I just wanted to be alone, to wallow in my own self pity.

....

I napped fitfully not truly getting any sleep, my brain just wouldn't stop, wouldn't give me a moments rest. I awoke later that night to Charlie banging on my bedroom door, _so much for being left alone,_ I thought. He opened the door slightly and I sat up in bed hoping that I didn't look the way I felt – like a mess. In his hand he held the house phone. Charlie looked disapprovingly at it as he handed it to me.

"Not too late," he grumbled as he headed back to his room and to bed. I heard him mumble to himself about it being late and that teenagers were ridiculous.

_Jake_, I thought hopefully, but when I checked the caller ID I felt immediately disappointed and then resultantly guilty, it was James.

"Hey," I croaked - _ahh sleep voice_.

"Hey are you alright," James asked sounding worried.

"Mmm hmm, just tired that's all," I moaned.

"Oh, okay, it just sounded like you have been crying."

"Nope just napping," I lied. I wasn't about to share with James my problems with Jake, especially since they seemed to stem from me being in a relationship with him. He probably wouldn't like that – actually he would probably make a big deal out of it and make things worse.

James remained silent on the other line for what seemed like an eternity, I almost fell asleep while I waited for him to explain why he rang.

"It's rather late James," I hinted, yawning in the process as if to prove the point.

"Oh," he replied. I groaned internally and sat up to look at my alarm clock. _11:45 – no wonder Charlie looked pissed. _I rolled over onto my side and shifted the phone to my other ear.

"Did you have something you wanted to share?" I asked a tad annoyed. – _Why didn't he just call me on my cell?_

"Can you promise me something," he said in a rush, his breathing hitched as he spoke. He sounded needy.

"What?" I sighed exasperated. I looked down at myself lying fully dressed on the bed; I unbuttoned my pants and began to shimmy out of them, kicking them off when they reached my ankles.

"Promise you won't leave me," he whined.

I jolted upright; he rang me to make sure I wouldn't dump him? Did he truly think I was going to leave him for Edward? I felt horribly guilty - maybe James had been right to react how he did – obviously if he was feeling this insecure. _It could also be because he hit you_, I reminded myself; easing my guilt. I put the phone down quickly and pulled off my shirt and jumped under the covers, I contemplated not picking up the phone again and just going back to sleep. I sighed, _that won't solve anything_; I berated myself.

"James..." I began, shaking my head slightly, not sure what to say.

"Just promise," he pleaded, interrupting me. _How can I promise such a thing, it's stupid. It's late and I want to go to bed and I want to sleep, I don't want to have to deal with this, _I groaned internally.

"Bella?" James begged, panic evident as he spoke.

"Kay," I answered, giving in.

"Thanks," I could hear the smile in his voice. "Now get some sleep, I love you."

"Love you too," I mumbled. "Night"

"Night."

I hung up the phone dropping it on the floor and rolled over to face the wall, sighing deeply.

_Why do I feel like I've done something wrong, like I just promised my soul to the devil? _A shiver ran down my spine at the thought. _Because maybe I just did._

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	12. Beautiful Angel

12. Beautiful Angel

....

I half hopped/half stumbled down the stairs not entirely awake. Each step I took I had to steady myself on the railing; being severely uncoordinated can make even the simplest of daily activities dangerous, especially when you were not good friends with gravity.

It was seven am and usually I wouldn't be up this early on a Sunday but someone was making an ungodly amount of racket in the kitchen – my guess was Charlie. I had spent the last twenty minutes in bed listening to whoever it was bang about, dropping pans and slamming cupboards all the while cursing to themselves. Finally I had had enough when a loud crash shook my entire room, followed by an extremely deafening 'GOD DAMN IT!' – I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep.

"Dad?" I called out as I reached the bottom stair. I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus on the scene in front of me. Charlie had his head in a cupboard and was emptying its contents obviously searching for something. The kitchen floor was covered in pots and pans and the bench was covered in an equal amount of dishes and food; the fridge door stood ajar.

"Um...Charlie?" I called a little louder this time. Charlie must not have heard me at all the first time because when I spoke it startled him. He jumped, still with his head in the cupboard smacking it on the upper lip on the way out.

He stood and turned to face me, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. He winced when he saw me. "Sorry Bells...Hope I didn't wake ya." He smiled and then frowned as he took in the mess he had made. "Well crap," he moaned.

"Are you looking for something Dad?" I asked as I stepped over the rice cooker, the bread maker and various other unidentifiable cooking instruments, finally making it to the kitchen sink. I didn't even know we had all this stuff. I grabbed a clean glass from the bench and proceeded to pour myself a glass of water.

Charlie shook his head. "I can't seem to find the dam waffle maker," he cursed, opening and slamming another kitchen cupboard.

"It broke, remember? Last Christmas...when you decided that you could wash it by putting it in the dishwasher." I rolled my eyes – I had told him not to do it. But apparently 'it could clean anything.' Needless to say, electrical equipment didn't really fit into the 'anything' category.

"Oh yea..." he replied with a sheepish grin. "Stupid dishwasher," he griped. I downed my glass quickly, the cool water wetting my dry and sore throat – _I hope I'm not getting sick._ I poured myself another downing it too.

"You want me to make pancakes instead?" I offered, trying to console Charlie who had begun to sulk.

"You don't have to do that dear, go back to bed. I can clean up this mess," he looked around the kitchen doubtfully. I wasn't buying into that, Charlie was in way over his head. If there was one thing I knew, Charlie, cooking and cleaning didn't go well together. I often wonder how he would've coped if I had of moved away with Renee; there is only so much fish one could eat and only so many times you could wear the same clothes. The thought reminded me that I hadn't yet heard how his fishing trip had gone yesterday. I walked over to the fridge and inspected its contents, there didn't appear to be much in there.

"Did you catch much yesterday?" I inquired, Charlie shook his head.

"They weren't biting at all; we already ate what we caught," he sighed, clearly disappointed.

"I'll get something from the supermarket later," I promised, checking the cupboards and making a mental note of things we were low on. I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a carton eggs, waving them at Charlie. "I'll make breakfast, you clean," I bargained.

He grinned. "Deal."

Charlie made just as much noise cleaning up the mess he had made as he had creating it. He huffed and grumbled to himself as he haphazardly re-stacked the cupboards, cursing every now and then when a pot or panned failed to bend to his will and stay put. I giggled as I watched him and smiled when he turned to face me proud of himself for keeping up his end of the deal. He really was like a giant child sometimes which was probably the reason why Renee was first attracted to him. She was a free spirit and definitely a child at heart. I missed her terribly, she was always up to something new and her excitable attitude was very contagious. She had never failed to make Charlie smile.

Charlie continued to hover around, hopping from one foot to another in anticipation as I flipped each pancake and then stacked each one on top of the other. Occasionally I had to slap his hand away as he tried to sneak some before I was ready. I ended up ordering him to go pick some lemons off the tree so he would something to do instead of harass me.

When he re-entered the kitchen he looked at me appraisingly as he put the freshly picked lemons on the bench. "Why do you always insist on wearing those ratting old things to bed," he questioned pointing out my old holy sweats and torn singlet. I wore them religiously, they were the only items of clothing I would wear to bed and I loved them. I admit that it would be embarrassing to wear them to friends or around James but I had another set of pyjamas for such occasions.

I shrugged. "They're comfortable." Charlie was always on about them, he even tried to make me go buy a new pair, always handing me some money when he saw me wearing them. When I didn't, he took it upon himself to go and get me some, which turned out to be and an embarrassing experience that he in return refused to talk about.

"You make it look like I can't afford to dress you," he moaned.

"Honestly Dad, no one sees me wearing them," I laughed. It's not like I was wearing them in public or to school—or like I would ever consider it.

He grumbled but then laughed, "You are so stubborn Isabella Swan, just like your mother." He had the twinkle in his eye he usually got when he spoke about Renee, as per usual it was followed by a small frown and then a great sadness would reach his face. Poor Charlie, he still loved Renee, even after all this time. He was devastated when she left and I knew he still pined for her return, he would do anything for my mother and that fact only made me angrier with her.

I served the pancakes and joined Charlie at our small breakfast table. We ate in silence for a while all that could be heard was Charlie's approval as he devoured the entire stack. He wiped his mouth on a tea towel and then stared at me for a moment as I continued eating, not even half way through my own stack. He appeared to be thinking.

"You and Jake don't seem to be getting on much better," he commented, obviously referring to my spat with Jake last night. I avoided his gaze and kept eating only offering him a slight shrug in response.

"You want to tell me what that was all about then?" he questioned, not willing to let it go. I shook my head; _no I do not want to talk about that stupid immature ass._

"Oh come on Bells," Charlie groaned. "Whatever it is you guys need to get through it, he's your best friend."

"_Was_," I corrected with a mouth full of food. Charlie hated it when I spoke with food in my mouth; I would always do it when I was mad with him and wanted to piss him off. It was childish but I really didn't want to talk about Jacob Black. We glared at each other for half a minute, before Charlie hopped up to clear the table, realising he had better drop the subject. I swallowed my mouthful, pushing away the rest of my pancakes; not really in the mood to eat them anymore and stood to help Charlie clear the table.

Once we had finished clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen I headed upstairs to shower and get dressed. It was only nine am – _I should still be asleep_, I groaned internally. When I re-descended the stairs I saw that Charlie had made himself comfortable on the couch watching an old replay of some sports highlights. He turned in his chair as I approached.

"What are you going to get up to today?" he asked.

"Probably get some washing done and then homework," I shrugged.

"It's a nice day outside shouldn't you be out with your friends?" he questioned, he was never satisfied with my loner lifestyle. I had my close friends, I went out and did things often, I just preferred my alone time as well.

"No one is up this early Dad," I moaned. He laughed in agreement; he knew how long I could sleep in on a Sunday.

Talking about friends made me realise I hadn't talked to either Mike or Jess in a while. I grabbed the phone off the bench and dialled Mike's number first, forgetting how early it was. I headed up to my room so Charlie couldn't eavesdrop.

"Hello?" croaked Mike.

"Hey Mike, its Bells," I answered.

"Hey, what time is it?" he groaned.

"Nearly ten."

"Argh, why the wakeup call?"

"Sorry, I forgot how early it was, what you up to? How did things go with Jess yesterday?" He groaned again at my question.

"That bad, huh?" I asked.

"Let's not even go there," he moaned. "She doesn't want to press charges, she won't talk about it, and she will barely even talk to me at all."

"That sucks," I agreed. "But she probably has her reasons Mike, she will come around." I thought about the likelihood of that – it wasn't looking good. Jess's way of coping was not healthy, she needed someone to talk to and I believed she needed professional help. Even though I was trying to convince Mike that everything will be fine, I didn't half believe it myself.

"I dunno Bella," he sighed, knowing better. "She's pretty messed up."

"Are you going to see her again today?" I half hoped that he would, it would be good for her to have him stick by her through all of this. She needed everyone she could get; she needed to know we were there for her no matter what. She needed to know that she was worth it, that we still loved her, that Mike still cared.

"She said she wanted to be alone, and I have a shift later today." He sounded disappointed like he wanted to be able to do more, but he also sounded exhausted at the prospect. I understood, Jess was hard work, but then again it wasn't her fault.

"Maybe I should go see her?" I didn't really want to, I know how bad that sounds, but it was hard seeing her go through all this. I know it would be ten times harder for her, but I didn't really know how to handle the situation. I was terrified of saying something wrong and making things worse.

"Mmm maybe...." He hesitated momentarily. "You should probably call her first though." He was right that was probably a good idea, if she didn't want anyone around, if she needed to be alone then we should probably give her that. But I had to know she was ok, that she wasn't hurting herself and I wasn't entirely sure that leaving her alone with herself was the best idea.

"Kay," I sighed. "I'll let you get back to sleep." Mike moaned, remembering how early it was.

"See ya later Bells."

I hung up the phone; and decided to check my emails and Facebook before calling Jess, it was still too early. I had one short email from Renee that was of no interest, I quickly typed her a standard reply. Facebook was more interesting; Alice had added me as a friend and had uploaded some photos of the day before. _Who took photos when we were just watching a movie and pigging out?_ She sure was weird, but a lot of fun, I could see us easily becoming close friends.

Alice had nearly a thousand friends and I spent the next hour or so checking out her photos. Finally I came to some of her family photos; her parents were young and very attractive. Her dad was handsome in a sexy movie star kind of way; he would undoubtedly cause numerous girls to swoon. She had told me he was a doctor and that was why they had moved to Forks; because of a job offer. Her mum was beautiful also, with a heart shaped face and green eyes; the same green eyes that Edward had.

The next photos were of Edward and I felt myself looking at them for longer than necessary. In one of them he had Alice in a headlock; he was smiling triumphantly the same crooked grin I had grown to like intensely. He was gorgeous. I was about to add him as a friend but then thought better of it – I really shouldn't push James more than I already had. I stared intently at the next photo of him and a girl, she was also gorgeous with long brunette hair and perfect features. The caption read:_ Edward and Heidi – Sophomore Prom_. He was looking down at her smiling crookedly as always and she wore a similar grin as she looked back up at him. They were dressed up in formal attire which only made Edward look even sexier.

I could feel the jealously growing in my insides as I stared at this girl who quiet obviously held all of his attention, I felt myself unjustly hoping she didn't mean anything to him. As usual I began to feel guilty, my thoughts and hopes were unfair to James and they were stupid. I didn't know Edward from a bar of soap and yet I couldn't deny that I felt something between us, there was a definite connection, a connection I should avoid, one I shouldn't be feeling when I already belonged to someone else. I shut off the computer quickly and shook my head trying to dispel the un-loyal thoughts.

Edward was someone I had let in, someone who had comforted me and made me feel safe. But he also had an annoying habit of making situations with James worse than they had to be. I wish that he would back off sometimes, but then again a little part of me liked that he seemed to want to protect me. It was sweet and caused my feelings for the handsome bronze haired boy to grow. I didn't want to feel this way, it felt wrong; but so very exciting at the same time. I can't believe someone as sweet as this guy appeared to be would show and interest in me. But then again James had and when things started out he was just as sweet, kind and loving.

It was now eleven thirty Jess was sure to be up by now. I hesitated slightly before I called her, taking deep breath as the phone rang and sat down on my bed waiting for her to answer. It was awhile before she finally did, and she sounded exhausted.

"Hello?" she croaked.

"Jess, it's me, Bells," I replied all the while thinking that this had been a bad idea, she was still asleep.

"Oh hey Bella," she sighed.

"You ok Jess?" I asked, she sounded upset.

"Mmm... yea, just tired that's all." As if to emphasise her point she yawned.

"I was thinking about coming around today... if you don't mind?" I hesitated before adding the last part, I was kind of intent on going to see her whether she wanted me to or not. I wanted to check in on her, make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid. I also wanted to get her to open up to me, or convince her to talk to her mum. I wanted to make sure she was still eating that there was a way to bring her back; more than anything I wanted the old Jess back. I played with the cord of the phone as I waited for her to reply, she was taking her time; if I couldn't hear her on the other side taking deep breathes I would have thought I had been disconnected.

"Jess?" I prompted. She sighed deeply before answering, the pitch in her voice rising a note or two as she spoke.

"Uh, I kind of need to be alone. I already had a lecture from Mike yesterday Bella; I just want to be by myself for a bit while I figure things out." Her voice was shaking like she was on the verge of tears. I berated myself internally for calling her, I should have just gone over, I was a coward. I should've been there to comfort her_. I am a lousy friend as well as a crappy girlfriend, _I criticized myself.

"Jess you can talk to me if you want, or I can come around and we can do something else. We don't have to bring it up at all if you don't want to. I'm not coming around to lecture you." It was true, unlike Mike I didn't really want Jess to report Laurent if she didn't want to. I could tell it was the reason why she didn't want me to come around; she didn't want someone else to try and pressure her into talking to the police. I wanted Laurent to pay as badly as Mike did, but I could think of other ways to punish him, ways that wouldn't hurt Jess anymore in the process. I wanted Jess to feel safe and I wanted her to get better, talking to the police and dragging everyone through this, having to relive her nightmare with strangers wasn't going to get her back.

I could hear Jess breaking down on the other end but she collected herself before she answered. "Right now I want to be alone," she stated firmly. I was conflicted between giving her what she wanted and forcing my company upon her. I tried to look at it objectively, _would I want to be left alone?_ But I couldn't put myself in her situation there was no way I could possibly understand her pain. I knew I liked to be alone when I was upset, but unlike Jess I hadn't ever thought about hurting myself, I wanted to give her what she wanted but for my own piece of mind I had to know she wouldn't do anything stupid.

"I will leave you alone Jess, only if you promise me one thing," I hesitated before continuing waiting for her reply. I was unsure of how to word my request but I knew I had to convey to her the importance of what I was asking.

"OK, what is it?" she breathed.

"Promise me you aren't going to do something stupid, that you're not going to hurt yourself again."

"Kay," she replied nonchalantly.

"No Jess," I replied forcedly, anger filling my words. I know it was unfair to get angry at her, but she wasn't the only one that was hurting. I had to think of my other friend, I had to think of Mike. It will crush him even further if she continues down the self-destructive path she had already carved herself. "You have to promise me you won't. I will come around tomorrow to check on you and if you break the promise I will never let you out of my sight. I will talk to your mum." It was an empty threat, I wouldn't talk to her mum without her permission, I didn't actually like her mother she was too self absorbed to notice her own daughters pain.

"Okay," Jess replied exasperated. "I solemnly swear not to off myself today." The last comment was laced in sarcasm and I could almost hear her eyes rolling on the other end of the phone.

"I mean it Jess, think of what it will do to Mike or your mother." The line went silent and I could hear Jess struggle for a breath, she had begun to cry again.

"Ok, I'm sorry. I won't Bella, I promise."

"Good, I'll be around tomorrow before school." I reminded before I exchanged goodbyes with her and hung up the phone. I sat on my bed for a few more minutes with my head in my hands, I rubbed my face tiredly. I still didn't have a grip on anything; I still had no way of knowing if I could ever fix everything, if I could ever get my old drama free life back. It was unfair, everything had been so good.

I got up from my bed and deciding to be more productive with my day I collected up all mine and Charlie's dirty washing and headed downstairs to put the wash in. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I noticed Charlie was at the front door talking to someone. Hearing me approach Charlie spoke.

"Bella, you have a visitor," he said gruffly. What I hadn't noticed was that Charlie was talking to James, who was standing in the doorway holding a bunch of flowers. James wore an uneasy smile and his cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment or anger, I couldn't tell. When he caught my eye his face light up and his mouth spread into a coy grin. He was wearing a clean collared white shirt and dark wash jeans; he usually didn't dress so smartly so I couldn't help but feel confused with the scene in front of me.

"Hey sweet stuff," he smiled. "I brought these for you." He motioned to the flowers offering them to me, he began to take a step inside but Charlie blocked his path, clearly still upset with the prospect of his only little girl dating even though James and I had been together for months. He glared at James an act of intimidation, his face flushed slightly with anger; James ignored Charlie and continued to smile from behind Charlie's broad frame.

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face or the blush I could feel making its way up my neck. James looked adorable and when he caught my expression he winked causing me to giggle like a little school girl. Charlie turned to look at me, his expression horrified at my reaction.

"I was hoping I could take Bella out for a picnic, of course, only if that is alright with you Chief Swan." James's tone was formal but slightly mocking, a cheeky smile spread across his face as he continued to look at me from over Charlie's shoulder. His expression quickly turned to one of pure innocence when Charlie turned back to face him.

Charlie moaned and stepped out of the way, motioning with me to go with James but silently pleading with me not to. "Don't be home too late," he sighed as he trudged back into to the lounge.

James stepped into the foyer and then followed me as I went to dump the load of dirty washing I was still holding. He handed me the flowers and I put them into a glass of water; we didn't have any vases in the house. I quickly said goodbye to Charlie, kissing him on the forehead in an act of reassurance before I grabbed a set of house keys and headed outside with James to his Mustang.

Once in James's car I turned to him questioningly as he leant over and kissed me on the forehead. This was definitely how things used to be, I felt a bubble of hope grow inside of me; maybe we could go back. "What brought this on?" I questioned. He continued to smile at me in mock shock as he answered.

"It's a beautiful day can't I spend it with _my_ beautiful angel?"

....

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**Not a very exciting chap I know, but EPOV next and then some drama with Bell and James on the picnic trip. – what do you think James does?**

**Sorry this took awhile to update but I've been really busy, so if I get a lot of motivation you will get another update on Saturday and an update on Wednesday - Otherwise just a normal update on Wed.**

**As extra incentive to review, I'll send each reviewer an extract from chp 14 – which you should get on Wed. (stole the idea from TCL) :)**

**So review and you shall recieve - 2 updates and a sneak preview :)**


	13. Beautiful Angel 2

**Hey guys, sorry this didn't get put up yesterday, site was down. But here it is. It's not very long, but the next chap is and its super filled with drama - so review and I'll update it faster!!! (still isn't complete, but your reviews will get me to hurry.)  
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**Thanks to everyone that reviewed, thanks Angel my awesome beta - check out her stories they are in my fav's. **

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13. Beautiful Angel 2

....

EPOV

I didn't sleep well at all last night, every time I closed my eyes I would see Bella's smile, or the frightened expression she wore when James first entered the house. Both images caused my stomach to twist and a lump to form in my throat but only the second caused my fists to clench. She was definitely afraid when he had come around and the thought almost caused me to double over in anger and worry, what was she afraid of? Was it of him? Was it in anticipation of his reaction towards me?

The latter I could deal with, but if she was afraid of him, I wanted to know why, more than that I wanted him to pay for whatever he had done to bring about that fear. I couldn't help but wonder if he had hurt her in some way. I knew I was meant to forget about Isabella Swan but it was impossible. If I wasn't thinking about her I was dreaming about her. My dreams were so vivid they felt almost real. When I woke I was at a loss as to the emptiness I felt when I realised that my arms weren't actually wrapped around her warm and fragile body, or that my lips weren't pressed softly against her forehead. It hurt to realise that the soft words she had spoken to me were created by my subconscious that I couldn't actually smell or feel her—that she wasn't really mine.

It was obvious that I had fallen for the chocolate eyed angel; she was all I could think about when I wasn't in her presence and then all I could look at when I was. Jasper was right; I was going to cause more trouble if I kept up the insane hope that she would somehow become mine, but I couldn't help it. I sighed internally at the hopelessness of the situation. I was doomed. It made me think of the song "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt;

'There must be an angel with a smile on her face,  
When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth; I will never be with you.'

The song seemed to fit us perfectly; I rolled over and took out my frustrations on my sheets. I wanted to make Bella belong to me, I wanted her more than anything I had ever wanted but I couldn't have her. I was forbidden to. But it didn't seem fair, there was something between us, a connection I could feel whenever I was around her. It was a connection that was only reinforced when I held her in my arms where she seemed to fit so perfectly. I was certain that she had to feel it too, she had leaned into my touch yesterday and even my embrace the day before, there was definitely something there for her too—I was sure of it, I just had to convince her of it; make her see. Maybe if I could, she would leave James and be with me. It was all that I could hope for. I had to make her mine. James Blunts lyrics continued to play in my head.

'I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that, cause I've got a plan.'

I shook my head at the thought. It was unfair of me to do that to her, she belonged to someone else. I had no right to take her from him. I could only stand in the shadows and hope that one day she would choose me instead. He didn't deserve her but I couldn't really argue that I did instead. But I knew that I would treat her how she deserved but I still didn't know if I was good enough for someone so pure, selfless and beautiful.

I groaned and rolled out and sat on my bed, I was pathetic. I was in a new town where there were plenty of good looking girls and I had to be hung up on the one girl I couldn't have. I hopped off my bed and threw on an old t-shirt before I went over to my desk to turn on my computer – hoping to find a distraction from all that was Bella.

I checked my emails and found that I had an email from a girl I had dated back in my home town but called it quits before I moved here. I wasn't lying when I said no one had ever caught my eye before – until now. No one had, however I had had my fair share of girlfriends, mostly set ups with girls I didn't really like but people said I should date. Heidi was one of those. I only dated her due to pressure and convenience; everyone thought we would be great together and we were friends. We only went on one date, to sophomore prom, true we had a really good time, but I liked her only as a friend there was no real attraction there. I admit that Heidi was a very good looking girl and I would even go as far as to say she was a brunette version of Rosalie. But like Rosalie she wasn't my type; I wasn't into girls that knew how hot they were, they tended to be bitches and treat guys like crap. Needless to say I didn't really want to continue dating Heidi, so I was glad when we moved and I could sight long distance as a reason for discontinuing our relationship.

I didn't reply to Heidi's email, I didn't know what to say—I had nothing to say. She talked about how much she missed me and wished we could get back together, that she wanted to come and visit – they were all feelings that I did not share and could not reciprocate when my heart belonged to someone else.

On Facebook I noticed that Alice and Bella had become friends and that Alice had put up photos of their girly day yesterday – _why do girls always take photos of everything? _ It wasn't long before I was staring at the pictures Bella was in; analysing her every expression. In some of them she hid behind a pillow which made me mad, she shouldn't hide her face from the world, it wasn't fair. In others she was laughing and the sight caused my heart warm, she was beautiful when she smiled but when she laughed it was entirely another story. Her nose and eyes crinkled up it the cutest way; I found myself stroking her cheek on the screen and smiling to myself, wishing that I really was touching her, that she was smiling at me. In turn some of the pictures made me a little sad, when her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, in these she looked a little distant, withdraw and upset, I longed to comfort that Bella, to cradle her in my arms and hide her from the big bad world. But then there were photos that truly crushed me and turned my heart to stone, they were ones she wasn't really aware of, they showed her true emotions. In them she looked sad, tired and depressed, it took all my effort not to run to her house and take her in my arms, protecting her from whatever made her feel this way.

It saddened me to know that someone at our age had to suffer through everything that Bella had to. When she talked about Jess it was agonising, her face would crumple and her body would fold in on itself subconsciously. I didn't know if she was really aware of the fact that she would fold her arms across her stomach and hugged her sides, as if she were trying to hold herself together. What was happening to her friend was destroying her. She looked so broken and fragile; her vulnerability tore at my heart. She deserved to be happy, she was young and beautiful, selfless and pure, and nothing or no one should be causing her this pain. She was brave and rarely worried about herself, she confronted the monster who had hurt her friend and also her boyfriend when he became violent, she was truly an amazing creature, I couldn't help but fall for her; she was endearing. Bella's compassion for her friend was admirable, I couldn't understand how her friend Jess could hurt herself the way she did, to me it seemed selfish because it was clearly hurting her friend and her boyfriend. But then again who was I to judge? I hadn't been through what Jess had, I couldn't imagine the pain she was feeling and we all have our different ways of coping with pain and hopeless situations. I was sitting here pining for a girl I couldn't have, torturing myself by looking at pictures of her and silently hoping that she would become mine.

My fists were rolled into tight balls and I brought them to my temples, willing the anger I felt for the situation to subside. I wanted her out of my head, I couldn't think, couldn't breathe - without thinking about Bella. I looked back up at the screen at my favourite picture of her. She was laughing at Alice who was pretending to lick her cheek. "Poser," I muttered to myself, referring solely to Alice.

"You talking about me big brother?" an annoying little pixie called from my doorway. Alice was standing there with her arms folded trying her hardest to look mad. She stormed her way over noticing for the first time the picture on my screen, I wasn't able to close it off fast enough.

"She looks really pretty in the picture," Alice commented. "Don't you think?" I pushed myself away from the computer pretending to look indifferent.

"I guess," I replied shrugging my shoulders; I couldn't help but to feel angry with myself for the way I acted, Bella deserved better, she was beautiful beyond words. Alice turned to look at me raising her eyebrow; her voice was soft when she spoke.

"You've got it bad, don't you?" she asked, staring at my face trying to gauge my expression. She looked worried. I didn't know how to respond but I knew that my silence and behaviour wasn't doing me any favours, Alice would know – actually it seemed like she already did; she usually had a sixth sense for these kinds of things. I slumped down on my bed and groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose, there was no sense in denying it – I was in love with Isabella Swan.

"_Real_ bad," I admitted, throwing my body back on the bed, I pulled a pillow over my face waiting for the berating that was sure to ensue. I felt Alice lie down next to me on the bed; she pulled the pillow from my face and looked appraisingly at me.

"You can't..." she started. I shook my head silencing her; I didn't need her to tell me out loud that I couldn't have Bella.

"Don't you think I already know that?"

"Why her?" she asked, I couldn't help it when my hands curled into fists. I looked at Alice as if she was insane – _why not her?_ I thought harshly. Wasn't it obvious how amazing she was? How perfect and unique and beautiful she was? Alice took in my expression of utter disgust and outright anger but decided to continue with her lecture anyway.

"You heard Jazz yesterday Edward, she is taken, you are just creating trouble by continuing this obsession." She looked at me sternly, daring me to deny the truth behind her words. It was true being in love with Bella had already created enough trouble and if I did continue with this it was enviably going to get worse. Bella was worth fighting for and James had already proved that he would.

"You need to stop this Edward, there are other girls, safer girls," she continued.

"I can't help how I feel Alice," I sighed. "I've tried forgetting about her but I can't, she's always in here," I said taping my fingers to my head.

She growled at me, "You. Have. To." She paused after every word for emphasis. This made me mad, sure I was in love with someone I shouldn't be, but I couldn't help it. Alice was being unfair.

"Are you in love with Jasper?" I questioned, turning to face her, hoping to get her to understand the impossibility of the situation.

"Yes." She spoke slowly confused by the question. "Where's this going Edward?" she demanded.

"What if he was taken Alice and you still felt the same way? And what if you thought his girlfriend didn't deserve him; what if you thought that maybe she had hurt him in some way?" I stared at her desperately begging her to understand how I felt.

"That's a lot of what ifs," she whispered clearly mulling over what I had just said.

"I guess I would be in the same situation you are in now," she conceded. "But I would wait for him, and hope that maybe I could be with him. I wouldn't want to cause him any trouble like you are causing Bella," she added.

"I don't want to, but I can't help it if I think he is doing wrong by her," I moaned.

"Bella is a big girl Edward, if he is treating her badly I am sure she will make the decision to leave him," Alice rested her hand on mine and looked me directly in the eye. "But you have to let her make that decision on her own." She stood up to leave, indicating that this was an end of discussion moment and nothing I could say would make her think any differently.

"Give her space Edward, if it's meant to be she will be yours," she added as she left the room.

Even though I didn't want to admit it Alice was right, if I didn't leave Bella alone I was bound to cause her more trouble which would mean I would run the risk of her resenting me, or her getting hurt more in the process. All I could do was hope that Alice was right and that if it was meant to be we would end up together. I knew in my heart that we were meant for each other, I just had to hope that Bella would realise it too and hopefully soon, I didn't know how long I could hold out for her without losing my mind completely.

Alice had officially convinced me to give Bella her space and I would – as long as she didn't need me I would stay away._ But_, I promised myself_. If she does need me, I will be there for her; I don't give a stuff what everyone else thinks and if I have to take James down in the process of protecting her, so be it. I will do anything for Bella – _she is my beautiful angel._ She is worth the fight._

_....  
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	14. Broken Promise

**Big thanks to everyone who reviewed, and my awesome Beta Angel. Dont forget to check out her stories which are under my favourites along with TCL and VPJ's stories too. They are all awesome!**

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14. Broken Promise

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BPOV

I have to admit I was rather excited as I sat in the car with James. I had no idea where we were headed--he told me it was a secret—but it only added to my excitement. All I knew was I hadn't felt this truly happy in a while and I didn't want that to change. For once I wasn't worried about everyone and everything, for once things were looking up.

I looked over at James who smiled back at me, taking my hand in his as he drove. I marvelled at him, this was the old James, this was my James. I felt completely relaxed and rested for the first time in a while. For once the smile that was plastered on my face was genuine. I didn't forget about Jess or how things were with Jake; I couldn't, but for now I was completely at ease, because right now James had given me hope. I now truly believed that things could go back to how they used to be, that we could be the people we used to be. If James could become my James again maybe Jake once again could become my Jake, my best friend.

I knew Jess could never be exactly the same Jess; a part of her has been forever changed because of Laurent. All I could hope for was to see her smile again, to hear her laugh. I just wanted her to be the same happy, go lucky, high on life girl she used to be. I wanted her and Mike to be happy and in love again like they used to be. It was a lot to hope for, I knew this, but if I was going to have any chance at a normal life, I had to hope that she could get better, that Laurent would pay for what he did. I had to believe that we could move on, put it all behind us, if we were going to have any chance, all of this craziness had to be reigned in; we had to re-regain control of everything. All I could do was keep faith.

I knew I was being optimistic; James still had a lot of making up to do. I couldn't just instantly forgive him for his behaviour over the last couple of days. I couldn't forget that he had hit me, that he had hurt me, but this was a start; there was hope for our relationship yet. If I was going to be completely fair to James, I had to make some changes too. I had to be able to ignore the connection I felt with Edward, I had to forget his charismatic crooked grin; I couldn't let my feelings for him develop into anything. I had to prove myself as James's girlfriend. For the moment these goals seemed simple enough, sitting here with my James on this perfect day as things were starting to fall into place I truly believed I could get past what I felt for Edward, that I could forget it and him.

If James and I were going to make a real effort in our relationship, I would have to respect his feelings and he would have to with me. The worst part was that as much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't have a friendship with Edward. It was probably a good thing that I cut all ties with him, that I didn't allow even the simplest of bonds to form between us; at least no more than they already had begun to.

James gave my hand a little squeeze, bringing me back to reality. "Away with the fairies are we?" he laughed. My eyes took a little while to focus on his face, I had really zoned out.

"Mmm yeah..." I mumbled smiling at him. "Just thinking about what a lovely day this is, how nice this feels," I spoke honestly. He smiled widely and brought my hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

"I told you I would try," he whispered, his breath brushed my knuckles as he continued to hold my hand to his lips. "I love you Bella, don't you _ever _forget that. I would do _anything_ for you." He took his eyes off the road and stared at me intently as he spoke. The seriousness of this last statement made me feel uneasy. It should have comforted me, but the way he said it—the possessiveness in his voice—I couldn't help but think that there was some kind of underlying threat. I smiled at him and tried to hide the uneasy feeling I had.

"I love you too silly," I joked trying to lighten the mood. He looked at me still serious for a moment until a grin spread across his face, bringing out his dimples.

"Good," he laughed, returning his focus to the road in front of us. "We are here," he said. I hadn't even noticed that we had stopped. I quickly took in my surroundings and a little gasp escaped my lips when I realized where I was. It was very green, surrounded by trees and wild flowers.

It was a small meadow that I had only been to once or twice. It was where Charlie had proposed to Renee, when they were seventeen and Renee was four months pregnant with me. At that point they were crazy in love. My dad had brought me here when I was little, but I hadn't been here since my mother left. I loved the place but it had a lot of pain associated with it. I remember telling James about it and how I wished I could go back but I wasn't entirely sure where it was and had never had the nerve to ask Charlie for fear it would upset him.

"You remembered," I gushed smiling at James and giving him a quick peck on the cheek before I hopped out of his car. James hopped out too and came to stand next to me slipping his arm around my waist.

"Of course, this place is special to you," he said as he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and then the lips, he took me in his arms and gave me a tight hug. I returned the gesture taking in all of his warmth and his smell; he was wearing the cologne I had got him earlier this year for his birthday.

"Now," he said excitedly as he leaned back from our embrace. "Picnic before the weather changes?" he asked, I nodded enthusiastically, his excitement rubbing off on me. I watched him bounce around to the back of the car and open the trunk grabbing out a large basket and blanket. I tried to help him carry something but he wouldn't let me. I had to admire the effort he was going to; he was really trying to be the perfect boyfriend.

He grabbed my hand tightly dragging me out to a spot he deemed perfect, he unfolded the blanket placing it gently on the ground; I watched it as it floated softly into place. I always loved it when blankets did that, especially sheets; I loved the air they flicked up in the process of finding their place in the world and the smell they sometimes blew into your face – clean and fresh. James sat down and began to unpack the basket; he motioned for me to sit down with him and smiled broadly when I complied. The unease I had felt due to his earlier comment long forgotten.

James had obviously gone to a lot of effort; there were sandwiches, fruit, cheese and crackers, chips, soda and dessert. On further inspection there appeared to more in the basket but James closed the lid before I could see. "That's for later," he laughed, pretending to scold me for peeking.

"What more could there be," I gushed my eyes wide, taking in the small feast James had brought along. I wanted so badly to know what was in there, it made me anxious, I hated surprises and James knew it. He laughed as I pouted.

"You'll see," he winked, pouring me a glass of fizzy and handing me a sandwich. I grumbled out loud as I stuffed the sandwich into my mouth, forgetting that talking with my mouthful was something I shouldn't do around my boyfriend. I quickly shut my trap, trying to be more ladylike and enjoyed the rest of the meal in silence, only speaking to tell James to tell him how wonderful it was and to ask for more.

The entire meal James barely spoke a word either. He complied silently with my requests and smiled when I complimented the food. He didn't eat nearly as much as I did and I was beginning to feel like a pig. He just sat on the blanket and watched me intently; his watchful gaze began to make me feel uncomfortable and self conscious, causing me to feel uneasy again. He was being really intense, watching me like a hawk as if analysing my every movement and every expression. He kept opening his mouth as if to speak but then would close it again obviously thinking better of it. It got to the point where I couldn't eat any more.

"Something bothering you?" I asked as I put down my drink and turned my entire body to face him. He looked quickly away before he answered.

"Nope," he answered, before sighing; turning to face me. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you looked today, absolutely breathtaking." I could feel myself blushing deeply at his words, I wasn't used to these compliments, and they made me feel even more uncomfortable. I looked away unable to meet his expectant gaze.

"Thanks," I murmured, embarrassed. He took my hand in his and took my chin in his other, turning my face towards him.

"It's true," he whispered. I tried to avoid his gaze once more, trying to look at the ground but his hand on my chin stopped me; I settled for closing my eyes instead. Not one to be discouraged James leaned in and kissed me in full on the lips. His needs quickly became urgent has he pushed my back against the ground, his hand searching my body, his lips hard against mine. The intensity of his need overwhelmed me and I felt myself fighting for air when our lips parted, he pressed his body hard against mine as his hands continued to search endlessly underneath my clothes.

I wasn't comfortable with this level of affection in public, and although I knew that we were unlikely to be seen it still made me nervous. I lightly put my hands on James's shoulders to signal that we should stop, but he groaned and pressed himself harder against me, his wandering hands becoming rough as they sought their purchase; my breasts. He grabbed and squeezed them roughly, bringing about a tiny cry of pain which he then interpreted as a cry of pleasure, pressing himself harder against me while moaning heavily.

"Stop," I breathed in his ear, trying again to push him off me. He ignored my trials and continued to press his lips against mine before moving down my neck and along my collar bone. I was beyond uncomfortable now, all I could think about was that someone could be watching and it creeped me out. He moved his hands from my breast and began a slow decent down my waist, tracing lines on my stomach along the way, stopping only when he reached the top of my pants. James wasn't a virgin, but he knew I was and he knew how I felt about sex--I wasn't ready.

Ignoring my feelings towards sex James reached for my pants, unbuttoning them. I couldn't help it; my body froze as he began to pull them down. I felt sick, there was no way I was ready for this and no way I was about to lose my virginity in a meadow, regardless of how romantic the afternoon had been. When he had my pants to my knees and began to reach for my underwear I reacted – violently.

"James STOP!" I screamed at him, shoving against his chest harder this time my fists clenched, tears springing in the corner of my eyes. I didn't stop struggling with James until he finally took notice.

He lifted his head inches from mine, looking inquisitively at me and for a moment I thought I saw anger in his eyes but it disappeared quickly. "I'm sorry," he murmured. He hopped off my body and I couldn't help but feel a little bit sorry when I took in his heart broken expression, but my own hurt and anger were much more powerful.

"What the hell James?" I screamed at him, my body was shaking from the experience. I couldn't tell if it was because I was mad or because he had scared the shit out of me.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" he whispered. I shook my head quickly pulling up my pants; re-buttoning them. In truth he hadn't hurt me at all, if we had of been anywhere else but out in the open I probably would have enjoyed what he was doing me – apart from the last part when things got a little out of hand. I just couldn't shake the feeling that we could be, or were being watched. More than that I was upset that he thought I would be ready to just do it in a park, without discussing it first. The more we sat there looking awkwardly at each other, the more I really wanted to get out of here.

"I didn't realise you weren't enjoying it," his voice hitched as he spoke, probably feeling a little rejected. My anger subsided a little at his words and the shaking slowed,_ he didn't mean it_, I told myself.

"No it's not that...it was nice, it's just I don't like being out here in the open. Anyone could be watching," I explained, taking a quick look around, nothing but trees and open empty meadow surrounded us. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself feeling a little vulnerable even with James sitting next to me. He looked at me unsure and confused.

"No one's here," he whispered.

"I know," I conceded, feeling a little stupid. I sighed before I spoke again looking at the blanket as I did, hoping I wouldn't hurt him with my next words.

"Why didn't you stop when I asked?"

He shrugged, "Caught up in the moment I guess. I wanted you so badly; don't you ever get like that?" he asked. I wasn't sure I knew what he meant; yes there were times I felt like jumping him, pressing myself against his firm body. But there is no way I wouldn't stop straight away if he had asked and I wouldn't have gone as far as he had, or pushed as hard as he had.

"I'm not ready for that yet James," I whispered, answering his question indirectly.

"I didn't scare you did I?" he asked dropping his head slightly trying to meet my eyes which were still focused on the picnic blanket; panic was evident in his voice and his hands were shaking slightly.

_Yes_, I thought. I couldn't help it, but by the final time I had asked James to stop I was terrified, all I could see was the nightmare I had had on Friday night. When James reached for my underwear the image of Laurent had wormed its way inside my head, causing my insides to contract and my body to shut down. If James hadn't of stopped when he did and if my pants hadn't been around my knees restricting them I probably would have brought one of them to his groin. _Poor Jess_, I cried internally. If this was what was going to happen to me every time I got hot and heavy with a guy, just because of a lousy nightmare I couldn't imagine how much worse it would be for her having actually lived through it.

I just shook my head in reply; I didn't need to tell James this it would just hurt him. No one needed to hear that when you were making out with them it reminded you of a dream you had in which you were raped. Maybe I was crazy, why couldn't I just be happy. Why did I think of that stupid dream, why couldn't I be with my boyfriend, the way he wanted me? We had been together for awhile now, I was probably being unfair by this time in a relationship it's almost expected, why couldn't I live up to that expectation? Maybe there is something wrong with me - I continually think about Edward when I know I shouldn't, I take a perfectly romantic afternoon and ruin it just because I couldn't reciprocate the passion my boyfriend felt. I was a pathetic excuse for a person; I couldn't truly give myself to the person that loves me, the person I was meant to love also.

"Can we just leave?" I asked. I didn't want to be here anymore, I felt uncomfortable and the picnic was pretty much ruined. James didn't respond to my question, instead he silently began to pack up the picnic.

I looked up at James to meet his gaze; his face was a mix of emotions, hurt, despair and fear. I couldn't look at him and not feel sick and guilty. I dropped my gaze to the basket he was repacking and remembered that there had been something hidden in there, hoping this could alleviate the situation I asked if now I could see its contents. He looked at me undecidedly obviously not sure if he should show me anymore.

"Um... maybe later," he mumbled, his face screwing up into one of pain. "I kind of ruined the moment." I grabbed his hand in an act of reassurance – I couldn't stand to see him this way.

"I want to see," I begged, I began to pout in the hope of making him smile. It worked, he looked eagerly at me and then at the basket.

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully. I nodded with as much enthusiasm as I could muster; bouncing up and down on the picnic blanket. It was mostly an act, I still felt a little off and uneasy, but I wanted to fix the situation; I felt I owed it to him - he had planned this perfect day and now it was all messed up; partly because of me.

"Ok," he nodded, still smiling. He reached his hand into the basket, making sure to keep its contents hidden from me and pulled out two Champaign flute glasses, along with a very expensive looking bottle of bubbly. I looked at him slightly confused, not sure what this was all for.

"Drinking in the middle of the day?" I questioned him, holding the glasses as he poured the bottle. "What are we celebrating?"

James looked at me dumbfounded, a frown creased his forehead. "It's the tenth isn't it?" he asked, looking at the date on his watch for reassurance.

"Yea..." I had no idea where he was going with this, yes it was the tenth but the date bore no significance to me. I couldn't help but wonder if I had completely missed something, it wasn't James' eighteenth yet that wasn't for another month, or was it? James interrupted me as I was trying to figure out if I had let a whole month go by and it was actually his birthday.

"It's our six month anniversary Bella," he whispered looking at the Champaign glass in his hand disappointedly. I had totally forgotten that six months ago to the day he had asked me out at a party he had thrown. I felt really bad now. How had I let that slip my mind? Of course this was why he had taken me up here, packed a picnic and was being so candid. It was a date to celebrate being together for half a year. With everything that had happened lately, I had been too caught up in all the drama to realise what date it was.

"Oh my god," I whispered in horror. "It totally slipped my mind, I'm so sorry James. Everything has been so crazy." He nodded slightly in understanding, still not meeting my eyes, the look of pain and sadness was back; causing my stomach to twist with guilt.

"Happy anniversary James," I grimaced at him trying to convey how sorry I was. I took his hand in mine and gently squeezed it. "This is really sweet you know," I said indicating to the picnic and our surroundings. He half smiled half grimaced in return.

"I understand how you forgot, I haven't been much of a boyfriend lately," he offered squeezing my hand back. Although I couldn't agree more with his last statement I didn't want to think about, I just wanted to enjoy what was left of this day, and try to forget everything else.

"Well I'm being a pretty shitty girlfriend," I shook my head.

"Naw Bells, you are perfect, I couldn't ask for more. That's why I brought you here," he sighed. "It's special to you, like you are to me." He shifted uncomfortably, not meeting my gaze as he spoke next.

"I wanted to ask you something," he whispered, nervously he even appeared to be sweating a little.

"What is it?" I questioned, his behaviour was making me a tad apprehensive.

"Na forget it," he said grabbing my empty plate, placing it in the basket. He hesitated with his hand inside, his expression unsure. He seemed to be contemplating something.

"What is it James?" I asked again, I was anxious now, something was bothering him. "You can ask me," I reassured.

He took a deep breath before he pulled out a small blue jewellery box from the basket, tied around it was a pink bow. I froze and completely stopped breathing as he placed the box in my hand. _Oh no!_ I thought, _this can't be good_. I looked down at the box in my shaky hand.

"James what is this?" I whispered staring at him, still shaking.

He indicated to me to open the box, watching me cautiously as I did. Very slowly I pulled back the lid snapping it shut again when I caught a glimpse of what was inside. Goosebumps rose on the back of my neck and my eyes grew wide before I closed them tightly, willing the ring to disappear. _Please don't do this_, I willed him silently.

When I reopened my eyes the closed box was still in my hand, and even though I couldn't see inside the image was burnt into my mind. The ring was large, very large, silver and encrusted in diamonds. I didn't know much about rings, I wasn't that type of girl, I knew nothing about cut or carats or clarity; all I knew was that those were words that girls used and I had no idea what they meant. But I did know this that ring in that box looked expensive and it scared the shit out of me.

James took the box out of my hand and reopened it, taking my left hand in his. He looked at me seriously for a moment before he spoke."Bella you are the most important person to me, I don't have a farther, I barely have a mother. All I have is you. I don't want to lose you, and yesterday I realised that more than ever." He took a deep breath before continuing. "That's why I want to keep you,_ forever_."

I could feel my mouth drop open at his words and my head started to shake back and forth. "James, I -", I started only to be silenced when he held up his hand. He closed his eyes tightly before he spoke next, only opening them one at a time as he did, gauging my reaction.

"Bella... Will you marry me?" My head was shaking back and forth furiously now, my eyes tightly shut. I didn't want to believe what he was saying; I didn't want to hear it. There was no way I was ready for this, no way had I even expected it. It felt like we sat there for an eternity in silence. I could not respond to his question, so I kept my eyes closed while I tried to figure out a way to react to his insane proposition without hurting him. And it was insane, completely and utterly.

It must have taken a lot of guts for James to pluck up the courage to do this; either that or he was completely nuts. Just yesterday we had been on the cusp of a breakup. I had to admire him though, if it wasn't insanity that made him do this then he had balls. There was no way I was ready for marriage, or even being engaged.

Even if I was sure I had found 'the one', I wouldn't even contemplate it, not at my age. Nobody got married at seventeen unless they were pregnant - not in Forks. I didn't want to hear people whispering behind my back, I didn't need to see their disapproving glances. Regardless I didn't want to marry James - not yet anyways. Charlie would never approve he would go ape-shit, immediately jumping to conclusions assuming I was pregnant just as everyone else would. There was no way this would ever get his approval. College was another reason to not get married so soon. James was leaving at the end of the school year, what was he thinking? That he would stay here, or that I would up and leave school to follow him? Had he even thought this through?

I sighed opening my eyes slightly taking in James's anxious expression as I answered him. "No," I spoke softly.

"Why?" he asked his voice hitching as he spoke, hurt and despair becoming evident in his expression.

"Oh a million reasons James," I moaned. "We are only seventeen - we are just too young," I explained.

"You're parents were only seventeen when they got engaged," he reasoned, desperation evident in his voice. If he was trying to convince me that this was a good decision to make he had failed miserably by bringing my parents into it.

"And pregnant," I added. "Besides look how well that turned out for them." My parents were the reason I didn't really believe in marriage, if it didn't work for them I didn't really think I would have a chance.

"You love me don't you?" he asked, I nodded in response. "And you want to be with me?"

"Right now I do, but who knows how we will feel about each other in a year from now, you might not even like me anymore." He looked at me shocked.

"I will always love you Bella, there is no one like you. There is no one else out there for me," he pleaded. "You promised you wouldn't leave me," he reminded me.

I sighed, "I know I did James, but we are young, who knows what the future will bring." I took his hand in an act of reassurance. "Now's not the right time, not after everything that's happened lately."

"Because I hit you?" he asked. I nodded slowly but also shook my head slightly.

"There's more to it than that James. We are only just getting things back on track; I don't know how things will turn out. I don't know if I completely trust you yet or anything for that matter," I added in a soft whisper, that was going to hurt him and I knew it.

I predicted correctly as he winced at my words. "I'm trying to fix it," he whispered on the verge of tears.

"I know James, and this is really nice. But it's only been three days. I'm not sure of anything yet."

"Please," he begged, wrapping his arms around me pulling me into his lap. I shook my head and looked down at the ring, there was no way I was changing my mind. I didn't want to marry James, and I didn't want to get married fullstop. I touched the ring softly with my hand.

"How did you afford this?" I asked gently – changing the subject slightly. I couldn't bear his begging it was too much. He shifted uncomfortably with me in his lap.

"Actually its mom's," he mumbled. _Wow_, I thought internally, _his mom's?_ Why would he give me his mothers ring? I felt ill at the prospect, had I wanted to get married there is no way I would want a ring that belonged to a woman had left her husband because he was abusive. I don't think any normal person could not feel a little weirded out by that.

"Oh," I replied. I wasn't entirely sure what to say to that. Was I meant to feel happy about it? I couldn't even understand why James would even want to give me that ring. Especially after what happened on Friday, the ring symbolised a broken marriage and he hated his father. Every time he would look at the ring would he not see what his father had done to his mother? How could he want to that kind of bearing on our future?

"If you want a different ring I could get you one," he offered, it was as if he could read my mind. "I know it might be a little weird after everything that has happened."

"It doesn't change a thing James, my answer will still be no," I sighed. Was he ever going to let this go?

He groaned out loud closing the ring box. "I'm sorry this was a stupid idea, Victoria tried to tell me not to."

"Victoria knows about this?" I asked an edge of anger was evident in my voice. I didn't like Victoria; to put it plainly she was a manipulative and vindictive bitch, not to mention she had been trying to sink her claws into James ever since I could remember. Of course she would be against James and I getting married, I'm just surprised she didn't try and get him to ask her.

"She kind of found out because I told Laurent," he grimaced as he realised that he had jumped gun and would now have to tell them that I hadn't accepted. It kind of made me feel sorry for him, but it was a really dumb idea. What would ever give him the impression that I would want this and now of all times?

"Maybe we should leave," I suggested for the second time. It was pretty late in the afternoon and it was starting to get cold and dark. As I hopped up from James's lap a shiver ran up my spine, I hadn't brought anything warm with me to wear; I rubbed my arms in an effort to warm myself up.

"Kay," James mumbled, obviously defeated. We hurried to pack up the rest of the things, folding up the picnic blanket and picking up any rubbish we had created. I noticed when James slipped the ring box back into his pocket; a deep anguish was set in the features of his face.

_What a disaster_, I thought helplessly to myself. To think that at the start of this picnic I had some real hope that everything could go back to being drama free, happy and normal. But instead the day had just been filled with more torment and anguish than I could bear. We made the short walk back to James's '72 Mustang in silence. He took the blanket out of my hand and placed it along with the basket back in the boot (trunk). James then turned to face me, his expression calm and decided.

"It's ok Bella, it was a silly idea, forget I ever asked," he sighed as he kissed me on the forehead taking me in his warm embrace. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I hoped it would be as simple to forget as he had said. It felt like our relationship would be forever changed because of this. I would always be wondering about where he thought we were in our relationship, it would always keep me on edge.

"I'm sorry that I'm not where you want to be," I whispered gently in his ear, my eyes still closed. I could feel the heat of the evening sun on the back of my neck, but it wasn't enough to keep the rest of me warm. It was time to head home; Charlie would be expecting me soon and would probably send out the entire Forks police force if I wasn't back soon - all four of them. Not to mention I needed to start dinner soon, not that I was hungry given the meal I had just enjoyed – for the most part anyway.

As I began to pull myself out of James's embrace I became suddenly aware that someone was approaching us, their footsteps becoming quiet audible as they connected with the gravel path. With my back to the person, it was James's expression that gave me my first clue as to who it was. He groaned slightly as the person got closer, it was obviously someone he knew. I turned quickly to face whoever it was, my body becoming rigid as I laid eyes on _him_.

....


	15. I Don't Know

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15. I don't know.

….

A topless Laurent was jogging up to us at a slow pace but stopped abruptly only meters from where we were standing. I had the feeling he stopped due to my body language, which in every way was telling him to fuck off – excuse my French. To say the least I wasn't happy to see Laurent, it wasn't possible to hate anyone as much as I hated him. My mother always used the phrase, "hate is a strong word and it should never be used lightly," but I know that right now I would be making her proud. I wasn't using the word lightly I truly hated that bastard. I couldn't think of a word stronger than hate but if I could it wouldn't be anywhere close enough to describe the intense amount of dislike I felt towards Laurent. Everything that was upside down in my life was somehow connected to him, he raped one of my best friends, beat up another and he had changed my boyfriend, not to mention he treated everyone around him like shit. Laurent was truly the worst kind of monster and I absolutely loathed him.

"What are you doing here Laurent?" James scathed. His attitude surprised me, James had never shown Laurent any sort of 'disrespect' - not that he ever deserved respect in the first place. Laurent appeared to be taken aback at James's words, just as surprised as I was that he spoke to him that way.

"Whoa James." Laurent raised his hands in mock self defense. "Chill bro, I just came here to congratulate you, that's all." James immediately became tense and I felt his grip on my waist tighten a little. This was beyond awkward. Not that I cared what Laurent thought, I just felt bad for James, it's not easy for a guy to admit to another guy that they were rejected.

"Uh, you jumped the gun on that one," James mumbled. "Bella didn't exactly say yes."

_Actually I believe I said no_, I thought harshly. I didn't want James getting the wrong idea. I meant what I said, I wanted him to have no doubts about that – I wasn't changing my mind, but I didn't want to hurt him, especially here in front of Laurent, it would only make matters worse.

"Bummer dude," Laurent chuckled, running his hand through his dark hair which was dripping with sweat. "That has to suck." He closed the small gap between us and lightly punched James in the arm in a show of brotherly love. I felt my entire body begin to shake, my fists curling into balls. I couldn't believe that bastard was so close to me. I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to deck him._ Ahhhh_, I screamed internally. James wrapped his other arm around my waist obviously feeling the anger radiating from my body.

"Geez Man, can you please tell your Mrs. to let up on the death stares. It's making me feel a little unwelcome," Laurent chuckled lightly as he talked directly to James, pretty much ignoring that I was even there. This made me even madder, he was chauvinistic, rude and beyond arrogant.

"Arghh," I exploded. "I _can_ think and act for myself thank you very much. Unlike some of the girls you obviously know." Laurent's eyes met mine as I spoke, his expression becoming cold, the corners of his mouth turned up into a sneer.

"Yea, I guess you're right Bella, the girls _I_ know don't think; that is to say Jess rather liked it when I thought for her." His words were like a slap to the face; it stung and enraged me beyond control. My face burned with the anger I felt and every muscle in my body tightened. I lunged at him but James's grip on my waist prevented me from getting very far. Laurent chuckled to himself. "Thought you would like that," he hissed.

"Let me go James! I'm going to kill him," I screamed, struggling in his arms; I pushed and twisted but his grip only tightened further, he wasn't going to do as I asked.

"Man get hold of your bitch," Laurent groaned. "She's a little over the top don't you think?"

"Give it a rest Laurent," James mumbled. My mouth dropped open; I couldn't believe he was letting Laurent get away with talking to me like that. I felt sick and insignificant, he allowed Laurent to talk down to me and call me names without even the slightest inclination that he cared, as if how I felt didn't even matter. James didn't try to defend me in any way; instead he prevented me from attacking the bastard.

I slowly stopped struggling in James's arms; it was useless he was a lot stronger than me; plus my lack of control seemed to give Laurent some kind of satisfaction. He liked to think of girls as weak and beneath him and he treated them just as he believed.

"Man I don't even know why you want to marry her; she's clearly nuts and doesn't even put out."

"Mind your own fucking business," I spat at him. "And what would you know?" It was a rhetorical question I didn't expect him to answer but when he did I felt all the blood drain from my face.

"Well I do know he hasn't got any from you yet…and from what I saw in the meadow earlier, it doesn't look like he will be getting any, anytime soon." A knowing smile spread across Laurent's face as he took in my expression, he knew _exactly_ what he was saying and exactly how I would react. I felt every hair on my body stand on end, my hands were shaking again, but not because of anger this time but because I felt sick. My stomach dropped to my knees when I realized he had been watching us. I brought my arms across my chest, trying in vain to cover myself I felt utterly vulnerable. I wanted to kill him, but more than anything I wanted to go home and take a long shower. Laurent's words and resulting leer made me feel dirty to the core, it felt like he had gotten under my skin and I didn't like it, I wanted him out.

"You came here to watch us?" I whispered not meeting his gaze. The thought sickened me but I was sure of it, the feeling I had had earlier wasn't me being paranoid. Someone really had been watching us, and that someone was none other than the piece of shit that stood before me.

He chuckled, "Don't flatter yourself; I come here daily for a jog because I live nearby. You guys just happened to be the most exciting thing I had seen around here in a while." He leered further, "but I must admit it was a rather nice view." His expression turned sleazy as he looked me up and down violating me with his eyes, winking and licking his lips. James let out a low growl, warning Laurent to watch himself but I was less controlled.

"You are a pig," I seethed, finding my anger and along with it my voice. I began to struggle with James again, the hurt and anger bringing tears to my eyes, I thrashed in his arms trying to break his hold. When James finally spoke his words were surprisingly directed at me.

"Stop it Bella," he snapped, squeezing me tightly around the waist. The tears were flowing freely now, blurring my vision, it felt like I was being ganged up on. I had every right to be upset, the prick had been watching us and James was acting like it was nothing; like he couldn't give a stuff.

"Get a grip Bella, you're way too sensitive," Laurent griped. He leaned against James's car folding his arms across his bare, sweat covered chest as he sneered at me. He chuckled as my face reddened.

"I want to leave, _now_," I stressed as I turned to face James, my expression unfathomable. I was pissed not only at Laurent but at him too – there was no excuse for him letting Laurent treat me the way he did. James seemed thoughtful for a moment before he nodded.

Without releasing me James opened the passenger and waited for me to get in, closing and leaning against the door afterward; preventing me from opening it. He appeared to be talking to Laurent for a few moments and they both chuckled at something he said. This infuriated me, I leaned over and honked the horn, causing them both to jump, and it was my turn to snigger as James glared at me through the window. I had said I wanted to go. James rolled his eyes at me and turned to punch Laurent in the arm as he walked around to the driver's side and got in. Laurent made a whipping action and noise as James hopped in which made me even madder so I flipped him off as James did a u-turn ad drove out of the small car-park.

"You just have to learn to ignore him Bells," James sighed, acting as if I was being petty.

"Puh-lease ," I cried. "You have to be kidding, that asshole treated me like shit and you didn't even have the right mind to put him in his place." I crossed my arms over my chest as I glared at him, my jaw jutting out in anger.

"Come on, calm down," he groaned. _Oh he seriously did not just go there. _

"Calm Down?!" I screamed. "Are you fucken serious James?" He raised his eyebrow at me, clearly unimpressed with my outburst. I ignored him and continued my rant, "He was _watching _us and then acted like a total sleaze are you saying that didn't get under your skin at all?"

"It was Laurent just being Laurent," he shrugged.

"So are you saying that if Laurent decided he wanted to act out his verbal innuendos it wouldn't matter because he's just being himself?" I questioned sarcastically, but I couldn't help but shudder at my own words. I didn't want to think of Laurent being anywhere near me, it was an unnerving thought. I just needed James to see it my way.

"Of course it would matter," he looked at me disgusted. "But all he did was made an inappropriate comment Bella – no effing big."

"It meant something to me James, I don't like that prick and I don't like the idea of him watching us get it on; saving it for his wank bank." James winced at my harsh words, I wasn't usually this vulgar but I was steaming mad. "How could you let him treat me like that, it was degrading."

"They are just words Bella!"

"It was disrespectful!"

James punched the steering wheel with his fist. "Would you just let it go already!" he shouted, causing me to flinch slightly.

"No!" I shouted stubbornly. "You only let him get away with it because he's your so called friend, if someone else had of spoke to me that way –"

"Like whom?" he interrupted sarcastically.

"Oh I don't know, what about Edward?" I spat, I watched as his hands tightened on the steering wheel and I couldn't help the satisfaction I felt that I had managed to get to him. "If _Edward _had been watching us and spoke that way you know you would've gone ape shit," I accused. I knew I had hit below the belt but my anger had momentarily caused me to forget the promise I made to myself regarding Edward Cullen and forgetting he existed.

"He wouldn't dare," James growled. I knew he was right, of course Edward wouldn't do that, but it wasn't because he was afraid of James, like James believed, it was because he was a gentleman. He was nothing like that pig that we left back there in car park.

"Don't you understand?" I scathed. "What happened back there hurt me, and if you truly cared, you wouldn't have let him treat me that way."

James didn't answer me or show that he had even heard what I had said.

"God, I thought you wanted to marry me?" I whispered. "I can't marry someone who can't respect me; or who doesn't have the guts to defend me."

James pulled the car over to the curb outside my house but continued to remain silent not looking up as I spoke. It was dark outside but there were a few lights on inside. I was starting to worry that I had gone too far by mentioning Edward's name. But then I remembered what James had let Laurent do and my worry dissipated. I was enraged that he wouldn't even apologize for his actions or Laurent's I couldn't understand where the earlier caring James went. I felt the emotions boil over as tears ran down my face, a side effect of the anger I could no longer contain.

"Fuck you James, you can go get fucked. There is no way I could _ever _marry you -" My sentence was cut short by James who without even looking at me flung out his arm at me, closing his hand around my throat. He increased the pressure around my throat, pinching my skin, squeezing hard and choking me. At first I was too shocked to even realize what had happened but then the pain set in causing me to kick out at his dash and claw at his arms. James's grip didn't let up it only tightened as I fought with him. I couldn't breathe and when I tried to open my mouth nothing came out but a squeak. I could hear my blood pound loudly in my ears and my sight was beginning to blur; I was going to pass out. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of James's expression; he was unrecognizable. His eyes which were usually a brilliant blue were now dark and his face was flushed red with anger. He wasn't looking at me, but rather through me. The tendons in the arm that gripped me and the ones in his neck bulged with his effort; his brow was covered in sweat.

_STOP!_ I screamed internally, _please stop_. I tried in vain to reach his face and hit him, but my arms weren't long enough. I thrashed violently under his grip but it only caused me more pain. I was certain that the pressure was going to break my neck, that I was going to pass out and possibly die, I could barely see due to both the tears that streaked my face and the dark spots that filled my vision.

It wasn't until I gave up fighting and my body became still that he let go. I slumped down in my seat gasping for air my throat raw, my vision still blurred; I was on the edge of unconsciousness and was shaking violently.

I clutched at my throat, and winced as my hands met raw and tender skin. I continued to gulp in air even thought it burnt my throat, my vision slowly became clearer, but my tears didn't let up. The shaking was still uncontrollable.

"Get out of the car," he spoke calmly as he unbuckled my seat belt and leaned across my lap to open the door.

I froze terrified unable to react. "I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!"

I quickly grabbed my things as I stumbled out of the car and towards the front door, still dizzy and half blind. It still felt like I couldn't breathe; I clasped one hand to my neck and the skin their stung at my touch, I gasped out loud which cause more pain as the cold air rushed down my sore raw throat. I used one hand to steady myself on the door as I let myself in fumbling up the stairs. Twice I fell over on my way up, smacking my shins on the stairs and my head on the banister. But that pain was miniscule compared with the fire that had claimed my neck. What was worse was that I was in so much shock that I was crying uncontrollably and the sobs that raked my body and my throat only intensified the pain that he had caused me.

Once I made it in my room I closed the door and locked it. My body slumped against its frame as I collapsed into a broken mess on the floor, clawing at the boards as I fought to control the tears that spilled endlessly. All I could do was hope that James had driven off and left me, but my imagination had me jump at every sound thinking that he was coming after me. I began to hyperventilate at the prospect, it terrified me; I didn't lock the door when I entered the house and I was afraid that he would find me in here, and I was terrified of what he would do when he did. It dawned on me that Charlie wasn't home, he would have come to see what was going on by now, I was definitely all alone.

When I heard the front door slam I almost screamed hysterically but managed to cover my mouth with my hand muffling the sound that escaped. If it was James I didn't want him to know where I was. I was torn between staying by the door blocking his entrance and hiding under my bed. My ears pricked with every squeaky floorboard the person downstairs walked over and I completely stopped breathing when I heard the intruder approach the stairs. I couldn't move I was frozen solid on the floor and I had no idea what to do.

I remembered that my phone was in my pocket and I ripped it from my jeans opening it. _But who to call? _I thought hysterically, _the police?_ I groaned, Charlie was the police and I wasn't sure if I wanted to bring him into this what if he got hurt? The same went for the rest of my friends; I couldn't let them get caught in the middle of it, especially Jake not after I didn't listen to him. _Oh Jake,_ I thought miserably. _I'm so sorry, I should have listened. _

I couldn't call anyone I didn't want them to see this or go through any of it either. I put down the phone deciding to wait it out and hope like hell that James would leave me alone. I hadn't heard anything in a while and I was beginning to believe he had left. That was until I heard someone climbing the stairs, my heart beat increased dramatically my heart was pounding so hard I was certain it was going to leap out of my chest. I began to shake again and I stared at my phone willing my brain to start working. I needed to get out of here. But I was the second floor, there was no way out. Charlie had removed the fire escape ladder when I was little, hoping to deter me from sneaking out at night when I became a teen. I was trapped; there was no telling what James was going to do if he found me. An involuntary cry escaped my lips before I was able to stop it. I held my breath again, not willing to make another sound, sure that the person had heard my mistake. But whoever it was continued to climb the stairs at the same pace, oblivious to my error.

It was then that I realized Charlie was my only option; he is the only person who would know how to handle this, it was his job after all. I just didn't want him to know, I felt so stupid and weak for letting this happen. But I had to do something, James was going to find me soon and I could only hope that Charlie could get here quickly. I dialed Charlie's number in a panic as I heard the intruder reach the top stair; it took me two tries to get the number right as my hands trembled uncontrollably as I hit the buttons. I bit down on my lip hard trying to prevent the scream was inevitable and willed myself to concentrate, I could taste the blood in my mouth as my bite broke skin. _Please_, I begged the phone as it rang. _Please pick up_, I sobbed.

An out of place song began to ring from the hallway outside my door, it took me only seconds to realize it was Charlie's ring tone exactly at the same time he answered. "Bella?"

"Dad!" I screamed from inside my room. I couldn't help as I broke down sobbing hysterically in relief. _It's only Charlie_, I told myself mentally trying to calm down. It didn't work, I was crying loudly now and was certain that Charlie would hear me. I didn't care, I needed my dad badly right now, and I needed him to make me feel safe. I would deal with everything else later.

"Bella are you alright?" he called out as he thundered down the hall to my room, he begun to push my door handle up and down with force. "Bella let me in," he panicked in response to my hysterics. I reached up slowly and unlocked my door, just as Charlie threw the full weight of his body into it. He came crashing into my room and onto the floor, gasping as the wind was knocked from his lungs. I scrambled to his aide checking if he was alright. He rolled over onto his back and looked at me for the first time.

I must have been a sight because he gasped. "Bella what's wrong," he whispered quietly. His eyes were searching my face as I opened my mouth slightly but then closed it, I was unable to speak. I shook my head softly and swallowed the lump in my throat. Tears still spilled down my face as Charlie took me in his arms. "Oh sweetie it's ok, what happened?" he cooed in my ear. I felt my body go limp in his warm safe arms, I hadn't hugged Charlie like this since I was little but it felt good, I loved my dad, and in this embrace I could feel that he loved me. My hands clenched his shirt and my tears stained the material as I held on to him and he seemed just as content holding me rubbing my back softly in reassurance. I had to hand it to him, Charlie didn't do tears but he was doing rather well with a full blown meltdown.

It felt like forever that we sat there that way, I was cradled in his arms like a child crying silently into his shirt, while he comforted me by telling me everything was ok. Finally Charlie decided to ask again what was wrong. I froze at his words, I wasn't ready to tell him and I didn't think I could. He leaned back from my embrace holding me tightly by the shoulders, while I still clung to his shirt with my fists, I couldn't let go. "Bella?" he questioned, staring at my face. Finally he looked further gasping as he looked at my neck.

"Jesus Bella! Your neck," he was shaking now, and had let go of me entirely. He brought one hand up slowly to touch the marks that were obviously there. Grabbing my chin softly between his thumb and forefinger he turned my face from side to side, inspecting the damage to my neck. "Jesus," he whispered again. He dropped his hand quickly when I winced. I looked up to meet my father's gaze and noticed he was clearly distraught and angry at the same time. His eyes were shiny with what looked like brimming tears.

"Who did this to you?" He asked firmly. His hands were balled into fists at his side. I didn't know what to say, I was scared of his reaction. I shook my head slightly; I couldn't tell him, I was too scared, I wasn't ready. Charlie took me by the shoulders again shaking me slightly.

"Bella please, who?"

Tears filled my eyes and began to spill over; in response Charlie pulled me roughly into his embrace again; clutching me to his chest.

"Who did this to you Bella…who could do this to you?" his voice shook as he spoke and it was barely above a whisper. A sharp cry escaped my mouth as I opened it in reply.

"I don't know," I cried into his shoulder and then softer. "I just don't know."

The truth was that I wasn't lying; I didn't know who did this to me. That wasn't James out there, it was someone else. I didn't know who that person was; they were a stranger to me. It was a completely different person to the one I had known, the one who had proposed to me in the park, the one I thought I loved.

_That wasn't my James_, I repeated to myself. _He wouldn't do this to me, he couldn't. The _only problem was that it was James who had hurt me, and I couldn't escape the fact that he had.


	16. Liar, Liar

**Wow guys thanks for all the reviews you are totally awesome!! - So I'm giving you this chap a day earlier because more reviews =faster update lol :) :) **

**Next update hopefully Friday - but I'm really busy so no promises, but heaps of reviews will get me going lol. It will have a little more drama then this chap - this one is really just going through the motions.**

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16. Liar, Liar

….

BPOV

Charlie allowed me to stay home from school for the week. But by the time it was Thursday I had had enough. I was going insane, being at home with nothing to do didn't help me get past what had happened. But then again I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to move past it. I mean my boyfriend, who I loved and trusted, flipped a switch and half strangled me to death, it wasn't something you could easily forget.

And then there was Charlie who found one reason or another to come home at least three times a day, to check on me. It was getting tiresome. I couldn't handle all the looks he was giving me, the ones that said 'I'm waiting to see if you're going to lose it.' He was constantly on edge, and I could tell he was filtering and monitoring everything he said or did. It wasn't really fair of me to be annoyed with Charlie it wasn't his fault that I woke up every night screaming, covered in sweat and incoherent. That would put anyone on edge. But I needed some normality I had to return to school soon, I think being at home was making my paranoia worse. Every creak or house noise would cause me to jump out of my skin, every time a tree branch scraped my window I would scream causing Charlie to come running.

I couldn't handle another day going over and over what had happened to me. It was getting old. Yes James had attacked me, quite viciously. Yes I was terrified of it happening again, but what was I going to do about it? I had already lied to my father and my friends. If I went back on that, if I decided to do something about it, it would be so easy for James to turn it around and say I'm lying. So I was stuck there was nothing I could do, and nothing I wanted to do. I know it sounds stupid but I still cared about James and people would think I'm insane to say that I don't blame him but I don't, not completely. That wasn't the same guy that attacked me. That wasn't my boyfriend. I wanted to get him help so that I could get the old James back, but I didn't know if I would ever be able to take him back, I wasn't sure if I could or if I even wanted to. I just cared enough to know I wanted to help him.

The night when James attacked me was a long one. Charlie had returned home from getting takeout because he could no longer hold out until I got home to make dinner, only to find his hysterical daughter bruised and battered on her bedroom floor. Charlie was brilliant, he sat up with me all night, soothing my tears and comforting me when I lost it over and over again. He would ask me questions about what had happened but when I clammed up he would back down and sit there silently, rocking me gently back and forth. I don't know what I would have done had Charlie not been there that night, he was perfect. He was able to calm me down over and over and he did remarkably well with the tears thing. I could tell that what had happened was hurting him; I kept seeing the silent anguish in his eyes and I felt it in his fists which he pressed them against my back as he hugged me. Worse still were the tears that managed to sneak their way down his face. The protective side of me wanted to return the favor and comfort him, but that side of me was overpowered by my sense of worthlessness and fear. I needed my daddy.

That night Charlie stayed in my room cuddling and talking to me until I fell asleep, I don't know how we both fit on my bed, but somehow we managed, even with him there I wasn't able to fight off the nightmare. My scream startled and woke us both, causing him to fall to the floor with an audible thump. It took me awhile to calm down after that and a lot of convincing on Charlie's behalf that no one was in the room with us. It was hard work but he finally got me to go back to sleep.

Monday morning was down to business, I awoke to find that Charlie was no longer in my room and I completely freaked. He rushed upstairs and apologized for leaving me alone, but told me that we needed to eat, he left again assuring he would only be a few seconds. I couldn't help the panic that rose within me as he left. He returned quickly as promised with breakfast and then uncomfortably demanded that I told him what happened. Just as I had the night before, I lied. I don't know why I did. James should pay for what he had done for me, but I was completely and utterly confused and definitely messed up.

So I told Charlie that I didn't know who attacked me. The story went that I had walked home from James's, in the dark, which I usually did, Forks was small and reasonably safe; when I was attacked. I said I didn't catch a glimpse of who attacked me and I had no idea who would and why. Charlie couldn't understand, because to him strangling a stranger without an ulterior motive made no sense to him. I had to reassure him constantly that the perpetrator had not done anything else, and by anything else I knew he meant something sexual.

After I had calmed down Charlie rang the station and informed his colleagues of what had happened – much to my horror. This would mean that by now everyone would know that the Chiefs daughter had been attacked on her way home by someone unidentifiable. This would be the hottest gossip and would have all the girls making up horror stories about how they are sure they were followed home the night before. I knew it was petty, but that's how people reacted to these types of situations, everyone wanted to be in on the drama; to have a little attention. All I wanted to do was forget it had happened and I didn't want anyone to know.

I guess it was my own fault I should have just told Charlie it was James, god I had no idea why I didn't. I don't think it was because I was protecting him, I was just so unsure of what had actually happened that I didn't know what to say when Charlie asked me who had caused the grotesque marks on my neck. I guess I was partly ashamed of what had happened, deeply embarrassed and then terrified of the consequences. What would happen if I said it was James? I was scared that people wouldn't believe me, that everyone would turn on me and call me a liar and not only this I was afraid of what James would do if I said anything, I know it was pathetic, but I couldn't say it was him.

Charlie was punishing himself every chance he got, he had convinced himself that if he had of been home none of this would have happened. I tried to reassure him that there was nothing he could have done, because the so called 'attack' happened further up the street. To be honest if he had of been home, there was no way I could have lied about who had hurt me, and a small part of me believed that if Charlie's cruiser had of been in the drive then maybe just maybe James wouldn't have hurt me. But the small part of me that believed that was very small. James had lost control in that car, and he was definitely not the same person. Remembering his terrifying expression sent shivers up my spine, he had been unrecognizable.

There was also that nagging part of me that had me believe that I was to blame. If I just hadn't of bought up _his_ name then none of this would have happened, I would tell myself. But that was stupid, so what I made a comment about Edward, there was no way I deserved what James did. Or did I? I knew I was pushing him when I said it I had provoked him and provocation is a legal defense. I was completely and had completely screwed up and I knew it.

You would think that going back to school would be the last thing I wanted to do. But maybe I was just really fucked in the head. Yeah I know James would probably be there, but I wasn't afraid…no… that was a lie. I was scared shitless. But I wasn't worried about being at school with him; I would be safe there…I think. So it was Thursday morning and it had been less than four days, but I was ready. If I had to spend another minute in this god forsaken house I was going to completely lose it.

I looked in the mirror after my shower taking in my appearance. I didn't look too bad…actually I looked like shit.I had dark circles under my eyes, the result of countless sleepless nights and I looked paler than ever. I hadn't been eating well, I just didn't feel like it, and initially it had hurt to not to mention Charlie's cooking was rather questionable at the best of times. The marks on my neck were the worse; there was basically a handprint there. Five dark circles spotted my neck, exactly where his fingers and thumb had squeezed. It looked bad, really bad. Every time I caught Charlie looking at them I could see that he was on the edge of losing it, both to his anger and his sadness. It hurt him deeply that this had happened to me and despite the fact this caused him to be annoyingly overbearing and protective, it was still very sweet and it warmed my heart to know how much he cared.

Makeup managed to cover my paleness and my bags, but the bruises on my neck were still visible and I took to wearing clothes that covered it up. It didn't help me though, I could still see the marks there on my neck it didn't matter how much I covered them up, they were still there and it made me deeply self-conscious.

Charlie wasn't the least bit happy about me returning to school and I couldn't tell if it was because he was worried about me and my stability given the last few days or if it was because he couldn't watch over me like a hawk and make sure I was safe every five minutes. It was probably a bit of both.

It wasn't lost on Charlie or me that James hadn't come to visit, nor had he called but I lied to Charlie about that and said I had told James I needed to be by myself. This pleased Charlie immensely for some reason and I was starting to get the feeling that maybe he didn't like James or partly blamed him for what had happened. More than once he mumbled something about the fact that James should have driven me home; if only he knew.

I was worried about what James would say or do if I ran into him today, I kind of hoped like hell he wasn't at school, I was nervous and had no idea what I would do. Ignore him? It's not like he could expect anything from me in the form of a relationship anymore, could he? _What the fuck am I thinking? Why am I going back to school? _

Of course Charlie voiced the same concerns, saying it was too early and I should take more time. What he forgot was that I am a bloody stubborn person and what he said only added fuel to the fire. I was going back to it was more than stubbornness and boredom, I needed to go back to school for me. I needed to prove to myself that I was stronger than this. Bigger than what had happened to me. In a way I wanted to show myself and James that I wasn't scared. I wasn't weak.

The only good thing about the whole incident was that Jake was talking to me again. As soon as Billy found out, Jake rushed over. It felt good to have him there, he took me in his overly warm embrace and told me over and over again how sorry he was over what had happened between us. It was good to have him back again, and Charlie was very pleased. Jake was the first person to get me to smile, since James had hurt me and even stayed over one night, sharing a bed like old times. It didn't feel weird at all, sure we were older, but he was my Jake and it was good to have him there, he calmed me down and got me to relax and become myself. It didn't stop the nightmares though.

Jake and I had our serious conversations too, if anyone was as hurt about what had happened to me as Charlie was, it was Jake. He didn't take it well and got into one or two fights with Charlie about why they hadn't found the 'bastard' who had done it. This made me feel bad; it wasn't Charlie's fault they hadn't found anyone yet, it was mine.

Jake was a little more skeptical about why James hadn't come to visit, often dropping hints about his dislike for James and how he wasn't good enough for me. But this soon stopped once he realized how upset it made me; even though he thought it did for other reasons. He was right though, I was so stupid for not listening to him in the first place.

Jake was even more worried about me going to school, not because he thought I couldn't handle it, he told me more than once that I was as 'tough as nails', but because he couldn't be there to make sure it was safe. More than ever I wished he didn't go to school on the res. He demanded that he drove me to school today, and I was happy about that. Jake was like an addiction, he made me feel warm and safe and loved, much the same as Charlie but different, because Jake was my best friend and he knew me even better than my father. He knew not to look at me like I was a fragile child, he went on treating me basically the same as before, and for that I was truly grateful, I needed the normality. Being with Jake allowed me to calm down, and eventually I stopped overreacting and freaking out at every noise.

Angela, Ben, Alice, Rose and Mike all called at various different times once they heard; they all asked if they could come and visit. I told them I wasn't up to it. I didn't need any more people coming around and freaking out over me--Charlie had that one all covered. I told them I would be at school later in the week.

I was worried when Mike called, I had up until that moment forgotten I had promised to go and visit Jess. He told me not to worry and that he had been with her all week. He told me she didn't know about what happened yet; she thought I was sick. I was relieved because I didn't know how she would take it, it worried me that it might make things worse for her. I made a promise to myself that I would go and visit her, and I called her on the phone to tell her I was sorry I hadn't come and seen her but would definitely come when I was better. To be honest she sounded like she was doing well and that relieved some of the weight that seemed to be constantly boring down on me these days.

So it was Thursday morning and after spending an hour in the shower arguing with myself over what I was doing, and another hour trying to cover up the un-coverable I was ready. Needless to say Jake's patience was wearing thin.

"Come on Bella… man girls sure do take their time," he moaned as I descended the stairs. I glared at him which got him to shut up immediately.

"Well I'm sorry that I don't mind smelling like a dog unlike some people." Jake rolled his eyes at my sarcasm. He jumped quickly over the back of the couch landing in front of me; he wasted no time taking me in large arms squeezing me tightly. I rested my head on his chest taking in his woodsy smell; which immediately comforted me; reminding me of home. It wasn't lost on me that in the short time Jake and I had been apart he had grown immensely, he was a lot taller, and thicker and if possible more handsome that ever. He looked a lot older than he was and I could tell he was proud of the way he looked. His usually long hair had been cropped short and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

"Wow Jake, I bet you turn girl's heads. Have you been working out?" I asked in awe of his beauty.

"Nah Bell's, I'm all natural," he joked squeezing me tighter. I twisted out of his grip and punched him lightly in the arm. A goofy grin spread across his face and he took me in a headlock, ruffling my hair.

"Ouch Jake stop, or I will have to spend another hour up there." He quickly let go of me and looked at me with mocking fear.

"No please don't," he begged.

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes. "Let's roll." I said with as much confidence as I could muster. Jake grabbed my hand as I turned to leave, stopping me. His expression turned serious.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"As sure as ever," I mumbled looking at the floorboards. "Let's just do this."

"'Kay."

Not letting go of my hand, Jake lead me out the front door and to his Rabbit which was parked on the road. It wasn't alone, next to it was Emmett's very obnoxious jeep and in it were Rose, Jazz, Em and Alice. I back tracked a step, pulling Jake with me and my hand flew to my throat, checking that my scarf was still there. I didn't want them seeing. No one really knew what my injuries were and I kind of wanted to keep it that way.

"Uh do you want me to tell them to go?" Jake asked in a whisper, sensing my unease. He was good like that he always knew exactly how I felt and could almost read me like a book. Almost, I had been certain he would catch me out about lying what had happened, but he hadn't, for which I was relieved.

"Nah its ok, just a little bit nervous," he looked at me as if to say I was crazy. And I knew what he was thinking; this is how it was going to be--all day. People were going to be staring, asking questions and whispering behind my back. I just had to get over it.

I forced a smile on my face, something I never had to do with Jake - with him I never had to fake my emotions with him it was natural, and I waved at the gang as they hopped out of the Jeep.

"Hey Bells," they called in unison.

"Hey guys," I called back. I made short work of the introductions. "Alice this is Jake. Jake this is Alice, and you know the rest of the guys." It wasn't lost on me that Edward wasn't with them, for some reason that relieved me.

Alice smiled her small sweet smile at Jake, but I could see that she was staring at us weirdly. That's when I realized I was still holding Jakes hand. _Oh bother, more explaining to do_. I hated when people didn't understand Jake and me, it got on my nerves. I quickly dropped Jakes hand in an effort to stop her staring. It seemed to work. Jake however didn't seem to notice and put his arm around me pulling my weight into his body.

"Uh, we came to see if you wanted a ride," Alice piped up her forehead scrunching up as he watched Jake. _Stupid little pixie._

"Oh thanks," I smiled. "But um Jake already offered to do that." I couldn't help but laugh as Alice pouted, it felt good to laugh.

"Damn," she muttered.

"All G," Em said, putting his arm around Rosalie as he spoke. "We will just meet you at school then." I nodded. That wasn't a bad idea; once Jake dropped me off I would need someone there to make sure I don't flip out or something.

"You sure you don't want to go with them," Jake asked once we were inside his car.

"And miss getting my first ride in this beast," I patted the dash and shook my head. "Never." Jake laughed and his goofy grin returned. He took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Ready?"

I nodded. "Bring it."

….

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EPOV

So I was standing there like a complete fool waiting in the car park for my stupid sister and my new friends to arrive with Bella. Alice had banned me from coming with them this morning, citing that their wouldn't be enough room for Bella if I did. Whatever, she was just didn't want me around Bella, 'complicating things', as she so called it. I thought it was a dumb idea anyway, Charlie or James or someone would most probably be giving her a ride to school. But Alice insisted that Bell's _close_ friends needed to be there for her. _Stupid pixie_, I thought to myself. Alice had known her all of a week, well barely, and she already called herself one of Bella's close friends.

_Look who's talking. You're in bloody love with her. _I rubbed my face with my hands. Would this inner battle ever be won? I did not love Bella, that wasn't possible; it was more like a lust thing. I lusted after Bella – _wow that sounds creepy._ I rolled my eyes, _definitely starting to lose it_.

To be honest, being away from Bella for the last couple of days had made things better. That was until I found out what happened to her. I did wonder why she wasn't at school, but thought that maybe she had been sick, everyone seemed to be sick. I didn't worry at first, and as the days went on I was able to wake up without her name on my lips and constantly in my mind. Yes being away from her had made it a tad easier to get past my feelings, I was already forgetting what she smelled like and that helped, a lot. But then Alice came home crying last night, and I don't know how I hadn't heard the rumors that were flying around - the Police Chiefs daughter had been assaulted as she walked home.

It still caused my skin to crawl, and my blood to boil. I couldn't believe that anyone would want to intentionally hurt Bella; she was so beautiful and fragile. _And smart, sweet, sexy, selfless…_Ok maybe things aren't better.

When I found out I all but lost it, Alice begged me to stay with her and not go. She clung to me, telling me that it wouldn't do me any good that it wouldn't be good for either of us, that Bella needed her boyfriend not some guy who she barely knew. That night I smashed one of Esme's collectables in frustration, let's just say mom's not too happy with me right now – and it didn't make me feel any better. What I really wanted to do was smash the face of the bastard that hurt Bella and if I ever found out who had, I would.

I was definitely a glutton for punishment. I was waiting in the car park because I wanted to see Bella. Knowing that she had been hurt and I couldn't see for myself that she was ok, well as ok as she could be, drove me insane. I wanted to hold in my arms and touch my lips to her soft porcelain skin, not to mention her perfectly pink mismatched lips. I sighed. I wasn't managing to forget about Bella Swan at all.

Emmett honked his horn, bringing me into the real world as he parked next to my silver Volvo that I was leaning against. I instantly noticed that Bella wasn't with and I wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Told you she would be getting a ride with Charlie," I stated sarcastically as Alice jumped from the cab.

"Nope, not Charlie," Alice said looking thoughtful. "Or James," she added when I opened my mouth. I shrugged oh well whatever maybe she drove herself.

Just then an old red Volkswagen drove in the school gate, pulling in next to Emmett's jeep. A tanned guy who I hadn't seen before hoped out of the driver seat and walked over to help his passenger out. The guy was built and looked around our age maybe a year or two older and although I hadn't been at Forks High long, I knew that he didn't go here. You would definitely notice someone of his size and from the looks of the girls in the parking lot who were standing there with their mouths hanging open I was definitely not wrong, he didn't belong here. The guy was wearing a black singlet and dark wash jeans, I only noticed because it seemed ridiculous, he had to be freezing. _Show off_, I thought bitterly. He looked kind of dangerous; not only because of his build but for some reason I instantly didn't like him.

I was about to turn back to Alice and ask her how Bella was getting to school, when I saw that this new guy was helping the chocolate angel from his car himself. I felt every muscle in my body tighten as I watched him take her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. She was beaming up at him causing me to instantly see red. Jealously was not a fun feeling. He grabbed out her books from his car and handed them to her. They seemed to be speaking about something and Bella shook her head in response. He laughed and then pulled her into a tight hug pressing his lips to her forehead. I felt my body twitch. What the hell was going on? Was she not with James anymore? I couldn't help the instant sadness and anger that hit me. If she had left him, it was not for me, it was for this new guy. I was beginning to doubt Bella's taste in men, not that I thought of myself as a better catch than this guy….well actually I did. James was a tool and whoever this poser was didn't seem much better.

"Calm down Edward," Jasper whispered in my ear. "God you're so fucking obvious." I rolled my eyes but I didn't take my eyes off Bella and this new guy, and I didn't like it at all when she gave him a kiss on the cheek as she left him to walk over to us.

"It's just Jacob Black," Rosalie said to both Alice and me. Apparently Alice was just as confused as I was about the scene before us. "_Her best friend_," Rose added rolling her eyes when we continued to look at her like idiots.

_That looked a little bit more than best friend material_, I thought to myself.

Bella looked rather nervous as she walked towards us. I felt a little bad, it must be kind of daunting coming to school where everyone would be full of questions, wondering what exactly had happened to her.

"Hey guys," she waved as she approached. Emmett being Emmett whipped her up and spun her round in a giant bear hug. I couldn't believe what he was doing, was he serious? Wasn't she hurt or something?

"Missed you millions Bells," he laughed as she pleaded with him to put her down. She winced as he did so. Instant realization hit his face. "Oh god, did I hurt you?" She shook her head slightly and looked at the ground.

"That was real nice Em," she whispered, a single tear ran down her cheek and I had to fight the urge to wipe it away for her. Both Rose and Alice followed in with a hug, and then so did Jasper. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew Alice wouldn't approve so I didn't move and inch. Emmett cocked an eyebrow at me as I hung back and I shrugged. I knew he knew that I had feelings for Bella, I'm pretty sure Alice told Rose and Jazz, so of course he would know. I was just trying to do the good thing like Alice said and hang back. I knew if I hugged her now and took in her sweet smell I was going to lose a lot of progress in the forgetting about Bella plan.

Emmett being tactless Emmett decided to jump in with the first question. "What happened to you Bella?" I didn't miss the glare that Rose through him, and neither did he. "Sorry I didn't mean to…"

"No it's ok," Bella interrupted him, looking at the ground. She looked extremely uncomfortable. "Um, I'm not really sure. There's not much to tell, I was just walking home and someone attacked me."

"And you have no idea who?" Emmett continued; Rosalie smacked him in the head. I couldn't believe he wouldn't shut up either. But I was also grateful, I wanted to know just as badly.

"Nope." She shook her head softly and I caught a small flicker of emotion in her eyes that I couldn't place. "No idea," she sighed.

_Was she lying?_

It was a stupid thought, why would she be lying? But something didn't feel right; there was definitely something I was missing, something she wasn't saying. I could see it in the way she answered Emmett's question, she may not have been lying but she definitely wasn't giving us the whole truth.

Did she know the person that did this to her? Statistics inferred that this was likely to be the case. I just couldn't figure why she would be covering for the bastard, if that was the case. Which it probably wasn't, I was known for jumping to conclusions. But I had a sixth sense for things like this, just as Alice would claim she could see things happen before they happened, I had a knack for reading people. Bella was a little more difficult than most, but it was rather easy to tell when a person was keeping something from you, when they were lying.

I looked at her questioningly and when she met my gaze she blushed and quickly looked away, I could see her posture tense and her hands tighten around one another. Yes, there was definitely something she wasn't sharing, something she was holding back.

And I wanted to know what.

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	17. To Be Expected

**Hey sorry this is late guys, haven't sleep in the last 24 hours, got home this morning at 7:50 totally not cool.**

**K I know this is short, but if I get around 20 reviews I'll put up the second half of it straight away [EPOV - things get a little heated between him and Bella], otherwise it will probably be a Mon or Tues update. **

**Big thanks to my beta Angel, and my dudettes VPJ and TCL they rock - check out my favs to read their stories cos they are awesome. Massive thanks to everyone who has reviewed and especially to those that review every chapter - you guys keep me writing lol.**

**xxx Char**

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17. To Be Expected

….

BPOV

So most of the day had gone exactly as expected, in every one of my classes people would stare and start whispering when I entered. The unfortunate sod who sat next to me either tried to ignore me or would engage me in conversation more than normal. I could only expect it was meant to be an act of comfort, but to be honest the latter was worse. It was awkward for a lot of people, I could see that, but I couldn't deal with the attention. I wanted to disappear and blend in like I usually did. I had definitely come back to school too early.

After every class one of my friends would be there waiting for me to walk me to the next. I didn't know if I found it annoying that they were babying me or sweet. Sometimes it was Emmett which was fun because he would crack jokes in an effort to get me to laugh and if anyone ever looked at me strangely Em could usually get them to look away with a crack of his knuckles, it was rather amusing to watch. Jasper was quiet as usual, Alice wouldn't shut up which was normal and Rose would fill me in on everything I had missed while I had been gone. I guess it was a bit hypocritical given my current situation but I liked the gossip. Especially the bit about how Lauren had tried to show off in front of the football guys during cheer practice and had broken her arm in the process; that was a new low even for her.

I hadn't bumped into James all morning which was kind of a relief, I was starting to believe that he wasn't going to be here, but considering they had a game today it was unlikely. At lunch the guys would be at a ball meeting so there was nothing to worry about when Alice came to walk me to lunch. I sat with her and Rose, given Mike wasn't there and I didn't have any other real friends besides him Angela and Jess. Ange sat with us which was nice given that I knew Rose intimidated her, but to be honest Rose intimidated most. There were a lot of awkward silences during lunch, seeing as I didn't have much to share besides what had happened. I didn't have to take off my scarf all day, and no one had asked about it, or seemed to think much of it which was good.

I wasn't looking forward to Bio which today I had last period straight after Math. I didn't miss the fact that Edward hung back this morning when everyone else hugged me and I didn't know why. I was worried and apprehensive, did he know something? He had looked at me questioningly when I answered Emmett's question and I worried that I may have let something slip. I was a terrible liar. But so far I had managed to convince everyone else that I had no idea who had hurt me--why would he be any different?

After an awkward lunch I made my way to Math with Rose. Her class was out of the way so I told her I could walk myself the rest of the way. Big mistake, that's when I saw James for the first time; he was leaning against his locker talking intently with Laurent, his arms folded across his chest. I immediately froze mid step panicked and completely stopped breathing. I cursed myself internally for not walking a different way.

_Shit, shit, shit, what do I do? Keep walking or turn around? Turn around…definitely. _

Just as I was about to follow through with my decision Laurent looked up catching my eye, he cocked his eyebrow at me and smirked, he nudged James in the side and nodded in my direction as he looked up. He instantly stood straight, uncrossing his arms and stared, his eyes wide. He then began to make his way over to me.

"Bella?" he called out looking at me slightly confused.

_SHIT._ I was speechless and unable to move, I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to run but my legs wouldn't work.

"I heard you were back." His eyes bore directly into mine as he spoke. "Bells…" He took a deep breath frowning in the process. "I'm s…"

"Don't…" I whispered interrupting him, raising my hands in front of me. "Don't come any closer."

"Bella…" he groaned as he took another step forward. Without reservation he reached out and touched my cheek with the back of his hand, softly stroking it. I flinched at his movement and I watched as mixed emotions flittered across his face. I took a large step backward and finding my courage I glared at him.

"Don't touch me," I choked out before I turned on my heel and took off toward the girl's toilets, which were just down the hall. By the time I got there I was hyperventilating; I shut the door behind me and locked it, collapsing against the frame, sliding down to the tiled floor in a fit of tears, squeezing my balled hands against my head.

_God is this how Jess feels when she sees Laurent? Is this why she doesn't come to school? _

I balled up one of my fists and put it into my mouth in an effort to muffle the sobs that raked my body. I couldn't do this, I couldn't be here.

"Bella?" James called banging on the bathroom door causing me to yelp in shock_, he followed me? _I was far too busy trying to get away from him; I hadn't even realized he took after me_. _

"Bella open up we need to talk." He pushed down on the door handle. I didn't answer him in the hope that he would give up and leave me alone.

"Come on Bella, I know you're in there," he spoke quietly.

"Go away," I whispered so quietly unsure that he would even here me.

"Bella, look we need to talk - I love you Bella." he paused before he continued, "and I know you love me too." I shook my head in response to his reasoning.

"No…No I don't," I cried out my voice wavering as I spoke only halve truths. I knew I still had feelings for him, but there was no way I was ever going to take him back – it was in my nature to forgive, but I had already given him a second chance and he blew that – big time.

"Yes you do Bella," he said softly contradicting me. "I know you still care about me, it's why you didn't tell anyone the truth," he spoke in a hushed voice.

"Yet…" I threatened, although I knew I didn't sound very convincing. It was silent on the other side of the door and I was beginning to think that maybe he had taken my threat seriously and left – but I was wrong.

"No one would believe you." There was a dangerous edge to his voice as he growled. I stopped breathing again and buried my face in my knees. He was right, who would believe me now? I decided not to answer him, what could I say?

"DAMN IT BELLA," he shouted slamming the door with his fist in impatience, causing me to snap my head up in fright. "Open the door now!" I pressed my body against the door harder in an effort to prevent him access as I felt his body slam into the door, buckling it. I pressed my feet against the opposite wall in order to give myself leverage.

_Shit. _I closed my eyes as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks and I pressed my hands to my ears in an effort to block out everything. I desperately willed him to go away.

_Please_ I begged internally, _make it stop…make him go away._

"Is there a problem here?" I let out a sigh of relief as I heard Mr. Banner's voice come through the thick wood behind my back.

"Uh no sir," James replied. "It's just that Bella locked herself in the bathroom sir."

_Damn._

"I see, well you better run along to class James you're late, I'll deal with Miss. Swan." I heard James grunt in response and I listened to his heavy footsteps as he trudged down all.

I groaned internally remembering that Mr. Banner was still out there, now I have to explain this to him. After a few moments Mr. Banner spoke, "You can open the door now Bella, he's gone."

I opened the door slowly worried that this might be a trick, but I only found Mr. Banner standing there with a sympathetic look plastered on his face. _Great just what I need,_ I thought sarcastically.

"Bella…I can't begin to understand what you have been through, but if you need some time to yourself you can go to the sick bay – I'll write you a note." I nodded solemnly at his words.

"Thank you sir," I whispered. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"If there is anyone you need to talk to Bella my door is open – I have a free period before junior Bio most days." I smiled politely and nodded again, I always liked Mr. Banner; he was one of the kindest teachers and definitely my favorite. "Of course you could try talking to your friends too, like James; they care about you and want to help. So try not to push them away." He raised one eyebrow as he offered the advice and one more sympathetic look before he left.

Hopelessness enveloped me immediately and once Mr. Banner was out of sight I stepped back into the bathroom closing the door quietly behind me. I didn't think I would be able to make it to the sick bay, and I didn't want to run the risk of meeting James on the way there. So I waited out the period in the bathroom, alone with myself - which wasn't the best of things.

_Gahh; I'm such an idiot_. I fisted my hands in my hair pulling tightly. I spent the rest of the period in the bathroom, hating and berating myself for the stupid decisions I'd made in the past week. In the end I came up with a list.

_Stuffed up with Jess, I couldn't and didn't protect her from Laurent or herself. _

_Didn't listen to Jake, ruined our friendship_

_Got Mike into a fight with Jess and Laurent._

_Let Edward get between James and I._

_Gave James a second chance._

_Lied about what James did to everyone. _

_Letting both James and Laurent get away with what they had done._

_Came back to school when I was definitely not ready. _

In the end I was just driving myself crazy, not to mention I was becoming sorely depressed thinking about how stupid and pathetic I was being. I finally managed to stop the tears and I tidied myself up in the bathroom mirror, repositioning my scarf in the process. I took numerous deep breaths before I decided to go to Biology. I had made the decision to come to school, and I was going to stick with it.

I opened the door just as someone pushed on it; the forced slammed me into the wall behind it. Victoria entered and as she saw me she sneered.

"Watch yourself," she spat, as she made her way to the bathroom sink with Lauren in tow. "As I was saying," she continued talking to Lauren as if I wasn't there, applying bright red lipstick that matched her fiery red hair as she spoke. "Some girls just love to make up shit in order to get attention, I mean look at Jessica Stanley." She rolled her eyes and looked at me pointedly; Lauren followed her gaze towards me and smirked. I had no doubt who Victoria was referring to when she said 'some girls.'

I stole from the bathroom without a backward glance. _How can people be so mean?_ I thought. The tears that I had fought to contain returned, running down my cheeks as I all but sprinted down the hall. I made no effort to clean them up, and took no notice of the people that had turned to stare. I absolutely understood now why Jessica didn't want anyone to know what happened to her, why she didn't want to turn Laurent in. It was because of vicious girls like Lauren and Victoria. They could make your life hell without even thinking about it.

I was the first to arrive to class and I was thankful that the room was empty during the previous period. I took my seat and opened my folder doodling as I pushed every thought from my head. I dried my eyes quickly as the first people strolled through the classroom door; I ignored them not looking up as they entered, continuing to draw on the piece of paper in an effort to distract myself. I created a wall between my classmates with my hair, just so I couldn't seem them staring at me. That's why I didn't hear Edward as he approached.

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	18. Hopeless Fool

**Okay guys here is the second part to the last chapter. Big thanks to everyone who reviewed :) Next update around Wednesday.**

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18. Hopeless Fool

….

EPOV

When I entered Bio, Bella was already there. She didn't look up as I approached; instead she continued to doodle on a piece of paper oblivious. Her soft chocolate brown hair hung across her face creating a wall her and the rest of the class. I didn't like it; I wanted to be able see her deep chocolate eyes. I wanted to know if she was ok. It wasn't lost on me that everyone had been staring at her as I entered each of them whispering to one another and that had to be hard on her. I glared at a couple of girls as I made my way over to Bella, one of them was Lauren Mallory, I had already come to know her as a bit of a bitch and it didn't surprise me that she was one of the girls spreading nasty rumors about Bella's attack. I had overheard her and Victoria more than once say that Bella was just being attention seeking, that she hadn't even been attacked because she didn't even look hurt.

But you didn't have to see the bruises to know that Bella was hurting--it was written all over her face. You could see the paleness in her skin, the slight gaunt look about her features, the dark circles under her eyes. And then her eyes in general, they seemed more distant than usual, their sparkle was lost and they were bloodshot red.

"How's has your day been?" I asked as I placed my books down on the table next to hers. She looked up surprised to see me there, before she shrugged.

"As expected I guess," she grimaced going back to her doodle. She started to scribble over it, pressing too hard ripping the paper in the process. She threw down her pen and let out an exasperated sigh.

"I just wish people would stop staring." She glared at me defiantly, anger clear in her soft features. I could see the shine in her eyes as she fought back tears. I struggled with myself not to touch her, not to pull her into my arms and bury my face in her hair.

"Yeah that has to suck," I mumbled. Looking out the window in an effort to dispel the pull I felt towards her.

"Ya think?" she spat before sighing. "I'm sorry; you were just trying to be nice."

"Given the circumstances I think you're entitled to be upset Bella."

She didn't reply, instead picked up her pen and started to doodle again.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked.

"No."

For some stupid reason I ignored her request. "You really have no idea who hurt you?"

"No, why is that so hard for everyone to believe?" she answered through gritted teeth. I didn't miss the flicker of emotion that crossed her face before she answered or the way she tensed when I asked. She wasn't telling the truth and I had to know why and who she was protecting, was it that bastard James? Her father? Jacob? Anyone of them would be answering to me if it were so - so help me, I would not be able to stop myself. I couldn't help it when I spoke next the words just tumbled from my mouth.

"Because you're lying," I whispered. Her expression turned to one of shock at my bluntness but quickly changed to one of anger.

"Excuse me?" she growled cocking an eyebrow at me whilst her face reddened with rage.

"You're lying," I repeated, sure of it now.

"You're telling me I made it up?" she spat, her voice raising an octave in the process. Mr. Banner chose this precise moment to enter the room and stood dumbfounded at the scene before him and the room fell quiet as everyone continued to stare. It was probably not a good idea to get into this while everyone was watching

"Bella listen maybe we shouldn't…"

She cut me off as she jumped down from her seat. "No… you listen!" she screamed, glaring at me tears streaming down her face. "All of you…" she looked directly at Lauren as she spoke.

"Do you think I could do this to myself?"

She tore the scarf from her neck, tossing it at me. I looked at it confused but when I looked back up at Bella I felt my entire body go stiff and begin to shake, there was a collective gasp from the room.

"Jesus Christ," I whispered, from somewhere in the room I heard Newton say something similar. Five very distinctive dark purple bruises covered Bella's neck. I winced as I took in the sight. The pain I felt raking my own body was unbearable. I couldn't believe someone would do this to her.

"I didn't think so," she choked out as she tore from the room. I collected up her books and took after her, ignoring Mr. Banner when he told me to sit back in my seat. I did however hear him restrain Mike, who had began to curse as he struggled to come after us.

Bella didn't stop running until she reached the school car park. But I managed to catch up with her and stop her, grabbing her by the wrist. She whipped around to face me, her expression one of extreme hurt and anger.

"Let me go," she spat, tears soaked her face. I instantly released my grip on her; I didn't want to hurt her anymore than she had already been.

"Bella, I'm sorry for before, I didn't mean to…"

"Please don't," she shook her head, she was trembling and I couldn't tell if it was because she was upset or cold. Either way I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her, make her warm.

"Who hurt you Bella? You can tell me," I whispered urgently, taking a step towards her. She took two back staring at me, her eyes wide, as the tears continued their effortless trail down her face.

"Why don't you believe me?" Her voice was thick and she choked on the words as she spoke.

"I don't know," I shook my head. "Because statistics state…"

"I don't give a shit about your statistics. I DON'T KNOW!" she shouted at me, her fists balled.

"I don't know, I don't know," she began to whisper repeat over and over, shaking her head back and forth. Her eyes closed and she began to waver unsteadily on her feet. Her knees buckled underneath her as her exhausted frame gave out and she fell towards the concrete. I quickly crossed the distance between us, dropping our books in the process, catching her as she collapsed. I pulled her into my arms and knelt to the ground holding her.

"It's okay," I cooed into her hair. I breathed in heavily not knowing when I would ever be able to hold her again. Her strawberry scent overwhelmed me and I closed my eyes as repeatedly breathed it in. Alice would kill me if she found out so I had to make the smell last so that I could torment myself with it later. I was definitely one masochistic bastard.

Bella buried her head into my chest, and I couldn't help but marvel at the fact that she fit there perfectly, as if we were made for one another. I pressed my lips to her hair as she cried and shook uncontrollably.

Finally after what felt like forever she calmed down and her breathing steadied. She leaned back and stared up at my face, her deep brown pools dragging me in as she sat their silently. I managed to break the trance her eyes held over me and trailed my vision to her neck. The sight still shocked me. I brought one hand up lightly and watching her expression to make sure it was ok, I touched her softly on the neck. "Jesus," I whispered for the second time, my hand fit perfectly, each one of my fingers matching the bruises on her neck and I shook at the thought that I could have been the one to bring this pain to her if I tried. She swallowed hard and I felt her breath against my cheek as she continued to stare at me.

I looked back into her hypnotic gaze and lost myself. She was so beautiful and fragile; I couldn't help the strong pull I felt toward her. I couldn't control myself anymore; my lips parted as I leaned in slowly. I could feel her breathing hitch as she realized what I was going to do. Slowly her eyes closed and she opened her mouth ever so slightly - inviting me in. But just as our lips brushed one another and I could feel her warmth breath mingle with mine she spoke.

"Please stop," she moaned and as much as I didn't want to, I complied. I didn't want to do anything she didn't want, I wouldn't be that selfish. I cursed myself for even trying to pull that stunt, it was inappropriate, here I had the girl of my dreams in my arms, crying and I was trying to push myself on her, I felt horribly guilty for trying to take advantage of her. I leaned back and looked at her apologetically.

"I'm so s…" I started be she cut me off.

"Please don't say you're sorry, I'm so sick of hearing that," she looked at me her expression a mix of sadness, hurt, anger and guilt. "I shouldn't of…"

It was my turn to cut her off then, "Bella don't it was entirely my fault, I just can't help myself when I'm around you." She shook her head, confused at my words.

"Why? I mean you hardly know me. I can't understand why you always put yourself between me and James, why you are always comforting me, and I can't understand why the hell I feel so comfortable around you," she pressed her hands to her eyes, covering them and groaned. I wasn't having any of that. I took her small hands lightly in mine as she looked back up at me, I marveled at her beauty.

"I don't know either Bella, all I know is I can't stop thinking about you and I…"

"Stop," she held her hand to my lips. She was shaking her head. I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off again.

"Please just stop doing this," she cried exasperated. "You can't….I have a boyfriend. This is ridiculous."

"Bella please," I begged. Not sure what I was begging for, _forgiveness?_ Or was I begging her to be mine?

"No, it's not fair!" she groaned pulling her hands from mine. "Stop doing it, stop putting yourself between us, stop comforting me, stop acting all sweet and perfect. JUST STOP!"

"Okay," I mumbled defeated. She pushed her closed fists into my chest causing me to fall backwards; she disentangled herself from me and stood up, fixing her clothes in the process. She picked up her scarf that lay discarded on the ground and wrapped it around her neck covering the atrocity that were those bruises. She closed her eyes tightly, concentrating on her next words.

"Just stay away from me Edward," her harsh words cut at my sides. I didn't ever want to be apart from her. I couldn't not be around her; I was going to pay for this. Alice was right she told me not to get involved, that it would make things worse, that Bella could end up wanting nothing to do with me. But I didn't listen, I was too impatient and selfish and now she was telling me to stay away.

"Bella, please… we can still be friends can't we, I know I shouldn't of…but it won't happen again. Please," I stammered, at a loss for words. I wanted so badly to fix things.

"I don't think we can," she groaned, her brow wrinkling in frustration, she was on the verge of tears and I watched as a single drop made its way down her cheek. "It's too hard, and it's not fair to anyone."

I got up to stand in front of her, and without thinking I took her into my arms again, I couldn't help it, when she cried my insides churned and I needed to hold her.

"Get off me," she moaned halfheartedly into my chest, slumping against me, pushing at me with her fists with little effort or desire to actually separate us.

"Bro can't you take a hint," a voice I didn't recognize growled from behind me. I let go of Bella and turned around to face a very large and very pissed off Jacob Black. He looked from me to Bella, and frowned.

"I don't believe we've met," I mumbled, trying to ease the situation. I wasn't sure how much of what went on between Bella and me he had caught. But it couldn't have looked very favorable considering his extremely pissed expression. I held out my hand with the pretense of shaking his.

"I'm Edward Cullen," I said. Jacob raised an eyebrow at my words and then looked at my hand and smirked. I dropped it quickly realizing he was less than interested at my attempt at diffusing the tense atmosphere.

"Keep away from Bella, _Edward_," he said mockingly. "I don't want to have to come and beat your ass…as fun as that might be." I had no doubt that Jacob could give me a hiding, he was huge. The only person that would stand a chance was Em and he wasn't here so I didn't want to push things so I nodded at his words.

"As long as she wants that," I added raising my eyebrow at Bella, hoping she would say otherwise but she didn't meet my gaze instead she was glaring at Jake. Jake closed that gap between them and grabbed her hand.

"Let's go," he said softly to her. Bella reacted unexpectedly as she often did, for some reason she didn't appear to be happy with her friend - which I couldn't help but feel a little please about.

"Let go of my hand Jake," she growled at him tugging her hand. Unlike me he didn't let go. She glared at him. "I can take care of myself, I don't need you to come in here huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf."

"Now who can't take a hint," I mocked. I already didn't like this guy, he was proving to be an ass, and the fact that he was holding onto the girl I so desperately wanted didn't help either.

He dropped Bella's hand and came to stand within an inch of me; I had to tilt my head upward slightly to meet his gaze. I rolled my eyes; I didn't need to have an ego contest with this fool. He grabbed me roughly by the shirt, he was shaking and his eyes grew wide as if he just realized something.

"Did you do that to her?" he growled while pointing at Bella's neck, his eyes were dark and his face was red. His question infuriated me; my hands balled at my sides and I was ready to deck the bastard. As if I would ever hurt Bella, I couldn't, it wasn't possible and I didn't need this mutt accusing me of anything.

"I would never…" I began but he cut me off.

"I don't believe you," he spat, shaking his head.

"Did _you _hurt her?" I spat back. He let out a low deep growl.

"Watch your mouth you filthy…."

"Jake." Bella's voice sounded worried. "Let him go, he didn't do anything to hurt me." Jake's glare bored holes into my eyes as he continued to assess me. He didn't appear to like what he saw because his grip on my shirt tightened.

"JAKE!" Bella shouted. I heard a loud slap and then a cry of pain from Bella. "Oww – Fuck!" she yelped.

Jake let go of me immediately, turning toward Bella, his expression worried. "Are you ok?" he asked. She bit down on her lip, her brow crinkling up; if she wasn't hurt I may have found it to be one of the cutest things I had ever seen. I took a step toward her, aching to comfort hurt and assess the damage to her hand, but a look from Jacob had me back-tracking.

"Yeah…I think I hurt my hand on your back," Bella grumbled clearly not pleased, her cheeks were flushed red with what appeared to be embarrassment. Jake's chuckled at her response which caused my eyes to narrow; I didn't like him laughing at her while she was hurt.

"Jeez Bella, you know not to hit me. It happens every time." I frowned then, _she hits him a lot_? That must mean he does something to piss her off. I didn't like that bit of information at all.

"I know, I forgot," she looked at me quickly and then back to Jake. "Can we just go," she mumbled.

"I guess," he replied looking at me evenly his forehead pinching together. He pointed at me, "If I ever…"

"Shut it Jake," Bella interrupted, this time she grabbed him by the hand and dragging him to his car - not that she would have been able to make him go if he didn't want to. I watched them get in and leave, I could see Jacob glaring at me from the driver's seat as they passed, but Bella looked the other way, refusing to acknowledge me at all.

_Why is it that I'm always watching her drive away from me like a hopeless fool? _

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	19. Payback 1

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**Oh and sorry this is late... super busy at the mo.  
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19. Payback 1.

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BPOV

"So what was that all about?" Jake asked when were clear of the school gates.

"Nothing," I mumbled, staring out the car window. It was starting to rain again. I sighed it was always one stage of wet or another in Forks; it was so dreary and seriously depressing at the best of times. No wonder everyone is so messed up in this little town.

"Didn't look like nothing," Jake continued. I shook my head; I couldn't be bothered going over what had just happened between Edward and I. I wasn't even sure what the hell just happened myself. I mean, one moment we were arguing over my credibility and the next moment I was pretty much begging for him to kiss me, and then I went loco and pushed him away at the last moment. _Dude, I am so insane._

I even told him I had a boyfriend, which I didn't, or did I? I mean there is no way James could seriously think we were still together after what he had done and our confrontation in the hall. Even if he did I didn't need to go around saying we did, we were as good as over in my eyes. That was bound to confuse him and myself in the process. I needed to stop and gage where we were, and what I wanted before I continued calling him my boyfriend, or considering myself single.

"Bella?" Jake coaxed. "Who the hell was that guy?"

"Edward," I whispered. I liked the way his name sounded and how my lips tingled when I spoke it. My mind wandered back to the moment when our lips brushed one another's and I felt my face warm. I had wanted him so badly in that instant, but it wasn't fair to lead him on. I was broken and worthless I wasn't worth the time of day. I couldn't be whole enough for him, I had too much baggage. I also couldn't deal with how James would no doubt react if he found out; I didn't want Edward caught up in this mess. I couldn't let any harm come to him because of me.

"And….who is this _Edward_?" Jake turned to look at me raising an eyebrow. "Despite the fact that you were crying, you too looked rather comfortable don't you think?"

"He was just being nice." Jake rolled his eyes at my statement and I thought I heard him mumbled '_of course he was' _under his breath.

"So what does James think about Edward?" I cringed at Jakes question; there was no doubt how James felt about Edward. They were definitely not the best of friends. Jake took one look at my expression and chuckled, "thought so." I didn't respond there was no use in trying to deny it.

"But then again if you were _mine_ I wouldn't be happy with what I saw going on there either," he added, cocking his eyebrow, daring me to argue. The emphasis on the word 'mine' wasn't lost on me but I brushed it off, Jake could be extremely possessive, but that was just Jake.

"It's not what you think," I defended my face growing hot; it was exactly what he thought.

"Really?"

"No." I sighed, "Why does it matter to you anyway?" I questioned. _Why was Jake always trying to interfere with things that had nothing to do with him? _

"I'm just looking out for you Bella," he groaned rubbing his face with his large hands; he was obviously as tired of having this conversation as I was.

"I know… it's just that sometimes I don't need your input." I don't know why I was doing this with Jake again, last time he had been right with his opinion. But now I knew he was just being possessive, there was nothing dangerous or bad about Edward, he was a genuine guy, someone I already knew I could trust.

"I just don't like this Edward guy."

"Why," I threw my arms up in the air exasperated, I was annoyed what could Jake possibly already have against him in the few words they exchanged. This was so typical of Jake, always so quick to judge the guys in my life – only problem was he had been right about James and I should have been easier on him.

"Well for one, he couldn't take a hint when you pushed him off and two he tried to kiss you…." I gasped; I hadn't known that Jake had been there that long. "Yea I saw that too. What were either of you thinking Bella? God, I would give anything for you to get rid of that loser James, but I was under the impression you were still with him, so I can't for the love of me understand why you were about to let Edward kiss you." His face was turned up in disgust.

"I didn't let him do anything," I defended again; there was an edge of anger in my voice. Why did I always have to prove myself today?_ – Uh because you're not being truthful to anyone let alone yourself._

"Oh really?" Jake contradicted; he gave me a small smirk. He pulled up in front of my house and turned off the car.

"Drop it Jake," I scowled. I thought we had gotten past all this arguing but obviously not. I hopped out of the Rabbit, grabbed my backpack off the back seat and trudged my way up to the front door swinging it over my shoulder. I didn't even wait for Jake; I was too annoyed. I was sick and tired of the same old arguments. Jake managed to catch up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders turning me around to face him. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I can't do that Bella," he moaned. His touch was suddenly uncomfortably warm my shoulders.

"And why not?" I growled allowing my disdain show.

"Because I don't understand," he sighed.

"Understand what Jake?" He looked at me warily, unsure of whether he should continue. His dark eyes bore into mine.

"Why you always choose these losers instead of someone who would do good by you." I glared at Jake, my anger incredulous. I wasn't even going to defend James and Edward, yes James was a loser and Edward wasn't but it obliviously didn't matter what I thought. Jake clearly didn't think I was capable to make sound judgments by myself – but then again maybe he was right. But it didn't matter, I wasn't going to stand here and let him insult me.

"Like whom? Since you seem to know everything Jacob, why don't you tell me exactly who you have in mind?" I spat. His expression was apprehensive as he stared at me, unable to answer for a bit while he contemplated his next words. I felt a smug smile pull at my face, I had stumped him and he knew it. "See Jake, maybe you should just butt out because clearly it wouldn't matter who I was with, you would always…" Jake interrupted my rant by turning his back on me sighing in exasperation. His blatant disregard for point of view enraged me; I couldn't believe he would be that rude. I was a loss for words as my anger overtook my ability to think straight. And then Jake spoke, so quietly I struggled to hear, and then wished I hadn't heard at all.

"Like me Bella," his voice caught in his throat and I watched as his shoulders squared as he was suddenly filled with confidence. "I meant someone like me." He turned around to face me his expression severe and guarded.

"Wh-what did you just say?" I choked out. Did he really just say what I thought he did?

"I care about you Bella more than you could ever understand. Bella I love…"

"Whoa Jake stop," I started, holding up my hands in an effort to protect myself from the unbearable words he was about to utter. He complied staring at me with evident uneasiness. "I thought we had been through this Jake?" I continued not giving him a chance to spit out the words I didn't want to hear. "We both said there was never a connection like that between us."

"No that's what _you_ said Bells," he spoke quietly, hurt scarred his face. "I never said anything of the sort."

"Yes you did, at Jess's you said it was like kissing your sister…" I pointed out contradicting him.

"I…I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I just said what you wanted to hear. Ever since I got over girls having cooties and I realized that you were a girl…." He smiled awkwardly at me. "Well my feelings have always been this way."

"But at Jess's …when we…"

"Yeah, I liked you then Bell's, I just couldn't tell you. I couldn't take the rejection. Kissing you was amazing, but I felt guilty because I knew it meant more to me than it did to you. I thought I could get over it….but I couldn't. I was hoping that maybe you would change that one day you would feel it too. But then you started dating that tool James, and it almost destroyed me." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I just hoped that it was nothing and it would pass, but it didn't and you two got closer, you started spending more time with him and less with me and it maddened me Bella, I couldn't take it. I even got mad at you," he looked at me apologetically. "But it wasn't your fault. I should have come out and said something; I should have told you how I felt…"

"It wouldn't have mattered Jake," I interrupted shaking my head in disbelief at his words, so this is why he was always fighting with me over James. James was right it was because Jake had feelings for me. Why was everyone always right about these things, why did I always have to be so horribly wrong?

"It wouldn't have changed how I felt. You will always be my brother," I continued. At my words Jake's face crumpled with undeniable hurt, pain and anguish. My heart ached at his pain lashing at my insides; I almost reached out to comfort him but thought better of it. I loved Jake undeniably, he was family and his pain caused me pain, I couldn't bear to see him this way.

"Bella…I….you can't mean that…." His breathing hitched as he choked on his words.

"You know that I do Jake, why would you believe my feelings have changed?" He shook his head obviously evaluating his own idiotic assumption, but then his face filled with hope.

"I know you care about me Bella. Why else do you feel so at ease around me, why else does your face fill with hope and light up with happiness when I walk through the door, like I'm some damn Christmas present or something? I make you smile, laugh and feel safe and you know it. You can be yourself around me, it hurts you when we fight and when we are apart. You just don't realize yet what these feelings mean Bella." He took a step closer, his smile was broad and his expression was so sure. "But I can make you see it, I know I can." I continued to shake my head at him, there was no way, he had to be insane to think that my feelings for him would ever grow beyond the brotherly sisterly love I thought he felt, we had known each other since forever - I could never see him in a romantic way.

"Why are you telling me this? It's not going to…"

"Because seeing you hurt like the other day made me realize that I was stupid not to tell you now. I had to protect you Bella, seeing you broken, broke my heart, I needed to show you how much you mean to me. And then I saw you with Edward and I couldn't believe the jealousy that overcame me, I was scared that maybe you had realized that James was wrong for you and that you needed to move on, but instead of becoming mine like I wanted you to, you had chosen someone else."

"So that's why you went all cave man on me?" I had been seriously angry for the way he behaved towards Edward, I hated it when guys went all egotistical and felt they had to prove themselves through violence.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that I didn't mean to upset you…" I shrugged I was over it, what he was telling me was a lot more to think about, I was still in shock and unable to digest it all.

"Jake I…" I started but couldn't finish my sentence. Everything that Jake had said made sense, yes he was all of those things, he did make me smile, feel safe and comfortable. Everyone else seemed to think that there was something between us, was I the only one who didn't see it?

No, it couldn't be that, I would know if I felt that way toward Jake, and I don't. He is my best friend, the brother I never had. I had known him all my life. He was simply my Jake, my friend. Sensing my wavering resolve Jake closed the distance between us and took me in his wide warm arms, it did feel good to be there but not in the way it felt good to be in Edwards's arms, it was different. With Jake there was no electricity, his touch didn't cause my heart beat to falter or increase and it didn't make me blush. No with Jake it was simply a hug of comfort not romance. But Jake didn't seem to think so.

"Bella," he spoke softly, lowering his face towards mine. His breath was warm on my cheek; I felt my stomach twist and I suddenly felt ill – this was all wrong completely and utterly wrong, he was too close. "I love you Bella," he blurted out before crushing his lips to mine.

I was immediately overwhelmed by his action and my body completely clammed up. Jake sensed this and began to move his lips against mine in an effort to get me to respond; his hands moved up my back slowly caressing me softly before he tangled them in my hair. He groaned softly into my mouth and murmured, "Come on Bella. You can do better than this." His lips parted and his tongue darted out over my lips asking for access to my mouth. I pursed my lips together tightly refusing his request.

I don't know why I didn't push him from me or why I didn't verbally object, I couldn't I was completely frozen in shock. I just couldn't believe what was happening. I didn't want this, I didn't want Jake this way, I needed him as my friend, and him doing this made me realize I could never have him like that again, not without knowing how he truly felt.

In a way I felt like he had betrayed me, he had known all along that this was how he felt and that made me feel vulnerable, like he had taken advantage of me. All those times we hugged, he would kiss me on the forehead or the cheek, they weren't signs of friendship; to him it met something more. And then the other night when he stayed, we had shared a bed, yes nothing had happened, but now I knew how he felt- it made me feel sick. I thought he was my friend, he took advantage of that, he broke my trust. This hurt like hell, I thought I could rely on him; instead he just let me down, just as James had. The pain was unbearable.

Finally Jake gave up taking a step back from me; his expression was filled with mixed emotions.

"Are you done?" I asked calmly. He nodded hesitantly and with that I flung out my arm and slapped him square across the face. He stared at me in disbelief before he spoke. He didn't even reach up to his face in pain, which infuriated me; I wanted to hurt him just as he had me.

"I guess I deserved that," he muttered sheepishly, obviously still proud of the fact that he had kissed me. This fuelled my anger.

'You deserve a lot more than that Jacob Black!" I screamed. "You betrayed my trust Jake. You took advantage of our friendship. I can't ever trust you again….I hope you're happy." Jake's mood turned to one of anger.

"So what… Eddie boy can pull a move on you and its all fine but when I do I break your trust?" he spat.

"I wanted Edward to kiss me Jake! You are meant to be my friend, my family. I expected more of you, I trusted you but you broke that trust!" I was breathing heavily now, my chest heaving, "You just threw our friendship out the window Jake; I could never trust you again after this." And with those words I left a shocked Jake on the porch step and stormed into the house. I locked the door, in case Jake had the nerve to come inside and ran upstairs to my room slamming the door behind me.

This was what the second or third time in a week I had ran up to my room upset after a guy had dropped me off home. This time my best friend who I needed now more than ever was the cause of this. And now his friendship was lost to me, not that it had ever been friendship to him. Tears spilled over at my anger and I found myself wishing I had hit Jake harder… _how could he?_

The only male I had left in my life that I could trust was my father Charlie, how pathetic is that? Because of all the males in my life that had hurt and betrayed me I no longer could trust another one again. And because of Edward I couldn't even trust _me_ to be around one without doing something stupid.

At least when Charlie arrived home ten minutes later, I wasn't a total wreck; instead I collected myself and went downstairs to see him. To my horror Jake was with him. "What the hell Jake?" I glared at him. I can't believe he had the balls to still be here. Jake looked at me sympathetically which was really annoying, I didn't want his sympathy I wasn't the one who was just rejected.

"Charlie invited Dad and I to tea," he mumbled, fidgeting uncomfortably at the kitchen table.

"Well you're uninvited," I spat, still glaring at him.

"Bella!?" Charlie exclaimed shock and horror was written across his face, he wasn't used to me being so rude. "What's come over you?"

"Why don't you ask _him_?" I said through gritted teeth, pointing squarely at Jacob's chest. Jacob looked at me in horror and his face turned beetroot red.

"Jake?" Charlie turned to face him, confusion written all over his face. If it were possible Jake turned a darker shade of red.

"I…uh…well…" he stuttered looking at the kitchen floor.

"Spit it out boy," Charlie urged - something my father and I shared was our impatience, we didn't like to pussy foot around.

"_He_ kissed me," I blurted out, tired of waiting for Jake to come clean; I just wanted him out of the house as soon as possible. Charlie looked at me in surprise and then to my astonishment he smiled smugly.

"Well," he chuckled. "That sure is something." He doubled over as his laughter became uncontrollable; Jake looked up at me in just as much shock as I was in.

"What?" I choked.

"I can't say it's a surprise Bella," Charlie said as he straightened up and fought to get his laughter under control. "But I wish you two would have waited another year, now I've gone and lost me fifty bucks." He shook his head. "Billy is going to be as proud as punch and a fifty richer," Charlie laughed again, punching Jake softly in the arm.

"F-fifty bucks?" Jake looked seriously confused.

"We had a bet how long it would take you two to get together, looks like Billy won that one," Charlie gaffed again, tears welling in his eyes. He sighed heavily and dabbed them with his handkerchief.

"You did what?" I glared at him incredulously.

"Oh come on Bells," Charlie groaned. "You would have to be blind to not see where you two were going."

"We are going nowhere," I seethed, my face becoming hot. "Did you not here me when I said he kissed me, I didn't kiss him back Charlie."

"Don't be silly Bella," Charlie shook his head. "Jeez you can be stubborn."

"NO!" I glared at him incredulously. "I don't have feelings for Jake, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it looks like neither of you are going to win the bet."

"Bella…" Jake started before I cut him off with one of my infamous death stares.

"You already know how I feel Jake." Charlie shook his head and sighed, turning to Jake.

"She is just like her mother; have to give her a bit to calm down that's all." He nudged Jake in the shoulder as if he was sharing some man to man moment. Jake continued to look uncomfortable with the situation.

"Arghh," I cried throwing my hands up in the air. "I'm going for a walk."

"No you're not," they both said in unison. _Oh yea I forgot… Can't be walking around when there is a supposed attacker on the loose._

"I'll take the truck then – I'm going to Jess's and I'll see you later," I said pointing at Charlie. "But you better hope your sorry ass you are not here when I get back," I added glaring at Jake. They both stared after me, either knowing they were better off keeping their mouths shut or they were at a loss for words.

"Oh and another thing," I added smugly. "Since you seem fine with Jake having feelings for me, then I guess you are still ok with the fact that he stayed the other night…in my bed….while he had these feelings?" I smiled as I watched Charlie's face turn a shade of purple as my words sunk in and Jake looked even more uncomfortable – if that were even possible.

Chuckling at the payback I just bestowed on Jake, I made my way out the door and to my truck; there was no way I would want to be in there with Charlie right now if I were him.

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**Before you tell me you hate me let me tell you this is definitely an ExB story, and they do get together and kiss and he does find out about James in the next couple of chaps, so review review and we can get there sooner. =)**

**If you are looking for some stories here are some suggestions - they are all awesome and you can find them under my Fav's.**

**Stand Still - Angelnlove52**

**When Yesterday Hurts - Angelnlove52**

**Penthouse in Paradise - TwilightCullenLvr9**

**The Cullens are at it Again - VampPixyJAK**

**Subjective Changes - The Daylighter**

**....**

**Don't forget to review =)**


	20. Payback 2

**Here's a present one day early...  
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**Sorry about this short Chappy guys but there is more to come…**

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20. Payback 2

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BPOV

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"Seriously it's like I can't trust any of the men in my life any more, even Charlie turned out to be a bit of a letdown when I needed his help with Jake," I moaned to Jess.

She turned to face me her face screwed up in confusion; she ran a hand through her short cropped light brown hair. _I wonder when she did tha? _Jess's long hair was always her pride and joy. Not quite as beautiful as Rosalie's but almost, I was envious of both of their gorgeous locks.

"Mmm, sounds like a pickle," she mumbled, picking up another shirt, folding it and placing it in her suitcase. "Do you plan on telling James about this?"

_Oh, yea James I forgot about him._

"Umm, James and I aren't together anymore," I muttered. Jess turned to face me raising an eyebrow.

"Really?"

I sighed, "yup."

"Can't say I'm not pleased about that," she smiled.

"Pardon?" I looked at her confused.

"Bella it was no secret that James was kind of a douche," she chuckled shaking her head. I couldn't help but notice that Jess seemed a little more relaxed than I had seen her in awhile.

"Well if you didn't like him why didn't you say anything?" She looked at me as if the answer was obvious.

"If Jake couldn't get you to see any sense what chance did Mike or I have?"

"Point taken," I sighed. I really owed Jake an apology but right now there was no way I was apologizing for anything.

"So who is this Edward guy?" Jess asked, turning toward me and sitting on her bed. New boy meat was always interesting.

"He and his sister just moved here, their Dad is a doctor or something…" Jess held up her hand and gave me a funny look.

"I don't want his life story Bella; I want to know what is going on between you two. What he looks like? Dirt gives me dirt." I laughed at her eagerness.

"He's gorgeous," I sighed, _and sweet, smart and sensitive_. "He has the most amazing eyes," _that I could forever lose myself in, _"and his smile…wow," I added.

"And you stopped him from kissing you why?" Jess asked incredulous, she was acting like I had just committed a crime – but maybe denying Edward Cullen was.

"I don't know," I shook my head. "Things are a bit complicated."

"What's so complicated about a hotty trying to get his thing on with you?" I laughed sometimes Jess could be so crude.

"James and I are barely just over…it's not really fair." _Not fair at all, _I added to myself.

"I guess, but still sounds like a no brainer to me," she shoved me in the shoulder and gave me a knowing wink.

"Mmm, but after today I doubt he will want anything to do with me." I grimaced at the thought, why did I push him away? He probably thinks I'm a complete tool.

"Well you always have Jake then," Jess offered, I could tell she was being serious.

"Oh, not you too," I whined.

"Come on Bella, you two would be perfect for one another." She gave me a 'you know it's true' look.

"Not happening Jess," I snapped, glaring at her. Luckily for her she dropped the subject and proceeded instead to pack the rest of her clothes. I picked up a pile of folded jeans in placed them in her suitcase.

Jess turned to face me a question on her lips. I reached over to her and started doing up the shirt buttons on the top she was wearing in an effort to cover the angry pink scars that were etched across her chest; she grimaced in response to my old habit but made no effort to stop me. The shirt was short sleeved so I made no effort to cover the scars on her arms, but they were old ones for which I was relieved – it appeared she had kept her word so far. I had the urge to ask her to roll up her pants or take them off, so I could check her legs but I didn't want to upset her, considering the uplifted mood she was in - one I hadn't seen in awhile.

Sensing what I wanted Jess spoke. "I kept my word, but if you want to see…" I shook my head interrupting her – I didn't need to see, for some reason I believed her. Instead, I picked up another pile of clothes and stacked them into her overflowing suitcase. "So where are you going?" I asked realizing I hadn't once asked her what was up and how she had been, I felt a tad guilty for being so self-absorbed.

"To stay with my aunt for awhile." She didn't look up at me when she spoke and I sensed there was more to it.

"Why?" I asked.

"Mum thinks it would be best for me, so I can get the help I need."

"She's finally listening then?"

"Hardly, she just wants me gone." Jess suddenly looked depressed; she stopped packing her things and sat down on her bed fidgeting with the end of her top.

"That's hardly fair," I offered, I sat down next to her and put my arm around her.

"You're telling me," she mumbled quietly, tears welled in the corner of her eyes and I braced myself for the works, but instead she hurriedly wiped them away and stood up continuing to pack.

"When will you be back?" I asked, I was worried I didn't want Jess to leave, now that Jake and I were no longer the friends I wished we were, Jess was really the closest person I had left.

"I don't know, till things blow over I guess."

"You're not going to report Laurent then?" She looked at me astonished.

"I thought that was obvious."

"No not really, I didn't know you had made a decision, you know you could still lay charges it's not too late – you don't have to let him get away with it." Saying those words to Jess made me feel bad, I was being hypocritical – I wasn't reporting James for what he did, but here I was pushing her to do what I didn't have the courage to do.

"I thought you weren't for it?" she mumbled. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I didn't realize that's what she thought I felt.

"No, Jess I am all for what you wanted to do. You know I would stand by you no matter what right?"

She sniffled, "yea I know. But it's moot anyhow."

"How so?" I was curious.

"No one will believe me." The tears she was trying to fight back were silently falling down her cheeks, leaving wet shiny paths.

"I believe you…Mike believes you."

"You shouldn't," she spat angrily.

"Why?" My voice was soft, Jess's words were confusing me, why wouldn't we believe her, we loved her.

Jess took a deep breath, "because I lied."

"What?" her words were like a kick in the guts, they took all my breath.

"I made it up," she repeated.

"No you didn't." I knew what she was doing; she definitely did not make that shit up. I knew she was lying now about making it up because I had been doing the same – as the saying goes, it takes one to know one.

"Just leave it Bella, I made it up okay, it was stupid – I'm sorry for putting you and Mike through all this."

"Bullshit!" I yelled, Jess turned to look at me her eyes wide.

"Does Laurent have anything to do with this?"I asked, at my words she tensed inadvertently answering my question. "That piece of shit!" I cursed out loud.

"No, he doesn't Bella," Jess's answered too late, her voice was beyond panic as I got up to leave. My fists were balled; I was going to take that mother-fucker down – I had already made up my mind. "Listen to me," she cried. "Don't do anything please," she begged.

"What did he do?" I demanded.

"Nothing," she whispered.

"That's not true and you know it." I accused, I could see the hurt in her eyes.

I shook my head, in disbelief and anger. "I'm sorry Jess, I love you and I just can't sit here and watch him bully you into leaving and into lying to yourself."

"Bella please, he could hurt you too," she cried finally admitting that he had done something. She grabbed onto my shoulder trying feebly to stop me from going.

"I can handle myself Jess," I growled. I left her room, and hurried downstairs and out to my truck. I took a deep breath and turned the keys, these boys had gotten away with too much and it was time to put Laurent at least in his place. I rang Mike on the way to James and told him he needed to go see Jess, he agreed but when he asked me what was wrong I hung up. I wasn't going to let him talk me out of this. Laurent needed to pay.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was going do once I got to their flat, but I knew since it was a Thursday night that at least there would be plenty of witnesses. I didn't think I had anything to be afraid of, neither him nor James would touch me in front of others – they wouldn't want to tarnish their precious rep.

I slowly pulled the truck over to the curb outside James flat and turned it off. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and pressed my forehead to it, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I had no idea and I was sweating badly. Eventually I made the decision to just get out of the truck before my courage dissipated and I lost my nerve.

_He has to pay_, I told myself, _you can do this, for Jess._ And with that thought I found bravery or you could call it stupidity and stormed my way over to where I knew Laurent would be.

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**What do you think Bella will do? What do you want her to do? **

**Next update Friday =) ****--- could be earlier... hint hint =)**

**Please review!**


	21. Over?

**Thanks for your reviews, it got you this chapter a day early =)**

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21. Over?

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BPOV

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As I stormed my way over to their backyard, I noticed that their usual after game party was in full swing – _even better_, I thought to myself. I scoped out Laurent and tensed when I noticed he was with James. I took another mouthful of air to compose myself and continued to make my way over. I held my breath as they both turned to watch me; James' expression fell as he took in my rage and Laurent's mouth turned up in a smirk, fueling my anger. _Oh, I'm going to wipe that smile off your face pretty boy _– I thought smugly.

I singled out Laurent and blocked out the rest of the party, focusing only on him and what I was going to do to him. Cover him in Vodka and set him alight? – Maybe that was a little too dramatic. I did really want to bash his head in repeatedly against a wall though and maybe even kick him in the nuts. I was quickly trying to remember all the self defense moves Charlie had once made me learn when I turned thirteen, but my rage wasn't allowing me to focus; all I could commit to memory was _guts and nuts, nuts and guts_, I knew there was a third thing but I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was. I was starting to panic; what if I couldn't do this? How was I meant to hurt him?

In the momentary terror that claimed me, I became my usual self – a walking disaster. As I continued on my path of vengeance, I failed to watch where my feet were going and it cost me dearly. A hose managed to snake its way around my ankle tripping me, and I braced myself, closed my eyes and awaited the impact that was sure to follow.

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"This is Bella we are talking about Jazz, she tripped like she always does," the voice I heard was familiar but I couldn't for the life of me place a name, my head was swimming.

_Jasper was here? _

_Wait where is here? _

"So she knocked herself out?" I heard a disbelieving, gruff voice ask, I think it was Emmett.

_Knocked myself out?_

"Its _Bella_," whoever it was emphasized my name to prove his point and then sighed. It took me awhile to realize that that person was James.

_James? _

I kept my eyes closed not willing for my company to know that I was awake- until I was able to get my bearings and know where the hell I was and what the fuck was going on. I could smell booze and laundry, something scratchy was covering my body and I was wet – like _really _wet.

_Why am I wet?_ I thought to myself as I sat bolt upright. _Urgghh!!_ I winced as I reached up to touch my head; it was throbbing and had started to spin from sitting up too fast. I opened my eyes and noticed the scratchy item that covered me was a towel and I was lying on the floor of a bathroom –_ James's bathroom?_ _What the hell? _

"How the heck did I get here?" I murmured to myself. Honestly, the last thing I remember was seeing Jess…and then going to James's flat to…to get back at Laurent? _ARGH why is everything so fuzzy?_

I noticed now that the people who were talking weren't in the bathroom with me, they were outside and it appeared things were getting heated.

"Oh come on and we are supposed to believe that?" I couldn't make out this persons voice – it could have been Jasper, whoever it was, they were not happy.

"It's true." I heard Mike speak softly, which confused me even more, shouldn't he be with Jess? _I called him, didn't I?_

"I saw the whole thing, she tripped over the hose and landed in the paddling pool, I think she may have hit her head on the concrete when she fell," Mike explained.

_Oh the paddling pool…where the boys liked to keep the beers. That's why I'm wet. Sounds like me alright, fucking typical!_

I stood up slowly, leaning heavily on the bath to steady myself. I checked myself in the mirror and noticed a small gash above my left eye, around it bruising had already appeared. I was completely wet, my hair was splayed across my forehead and cheeks and the little mascara I had worn had run, leaving a black mess in the process. I was cold, and my wet clothes were heavy and clung awkwardly to my body. I hugged the scratchy towel tighter to myself in an effort to get warm. I felt a bit queasy like I had been drinking, but I think that was mostly due to the dizziness I was experiencing from hitting my head. I fought the urge to drink some water from the tap; I still wasn't ready for them to know I was awake and the sound of running water was sure to tip them off.

"Look I need to check if she's alright, she could have a concussion," it was James speaking again; it almost sounded like he was concerned.

_Almost._

I probably should have opened the door to let them know I was ok, but I didn't want to face any of them just yet. I was too embarrassed…and confused.

"Well then you should have taken her to the hospital right away!" A very pissed off Emmett hollered.

"I know…but I wanted to get her dry…I don't know what I was thinking." James sounded tired.

"We can take her to see Carlisle," Jazz offered, he seemed to have calmed down.

"Like hell you are taking her anywhere near your friend _Edward,_ I don't trust that prick!" James seethed. I heard someone hit the wall, and I had my suspicions as to who that someone was.

"Oh come on!" Emmett roared.

"I bet he's the reason you think I did this to her," James snarled.

"Look I can take her!" It sounded like Mike. "You guys just go." He was trying to diffuse the situation. James was known for being a hot head when someone pushed him just right, and it seemed that Emmett was starting to get fiery and out of control..

"I'm not going anywhere," Emmett spat. If I wasn't worried for my friends breaking into a fight with James and small Mike getting in the middle then I would have thought it was sweet how concerned they were for me.

"Come on Em, there's nothing we can do," Jazz urged, clearly trying to calm Emmett down; things were obviously close to getting out of hand. To my relief, I heard them leave – with a lot of grunting in protest from Emmett. The least amount of witnesses to this, the better – it was embarrassing enough, and I definitely didn't want to cause a fight.

"Thanks, Mike," James sighed again. "But I can take her."

"Are you sure?" Mike asked.

"No," I cried quietly. _Don't leave me Mike._ I didn't want to be alone with James. The confidence I had had earlier when I arrived had disappeared. Even though Mike wasn't much in the way of protection, I was sure James wouldn't try anything with him there.

"Yeah, actually, I better check on her."

I hurried to wipe the mascara from my eyes and to tidy my hair; I didn't want to look too deranged. I didn't want James to take me to the hospital; I didn't want to be anywhere near him.

"Okay, well I'll see you guys around," to my dismay, I heard Mike turn to leave but he stopped. "Oh and Laurent?" he called.

_Laurent was outside too?_

"Yo?" Laurent answered. I mentally cringed at his voice and felt the rage inside reach my cheeks, turning them red; my confidence began to grow again.

"No hard feelings?" Mike asked.

_What?_

"Nah bro, it's not your fault aye. Girls love to lie," Laurent sighed, casually brushing off the indifference the two of them once shared.

There was no way Mike was falling for his shit? Was he?

"Yeah, I can't believe I fell for it,' Mike groaned. "See you round."

Mikes words left me gob smacked, he couldn't really believe that Jess made that up, could he? It was so obvious that Laurent had scared her into lying about what happened. Wasn't it? Jeez, if her boyfriend couldn't see it, then she was going to have a hell of a lot of trouble convincing anybody else.

"See you," Laurent and James called in unison. And then I was alone, but I was no longer as terrified of facing them as I was before. My desire to kill Laurent had officially renewed itself at this point but as I reached for the door, it opened and standing in the entrance was a surprised James. Seeing him knocked my confidence.

"I didn't realize you were up," he mumbled. Thankfully I was able to ignore James because behind him I could see Laurent, and my fear was quickly forgotten.

This time when I lunged at him, unlike in the meadow, no one was there holding me back. Laurent didn't see it coming as I swung at him and my fist connected with his jaw, making a loud smacking sound. He stumbled backward a few steps, dazed and then quickly re-gathered his composure while he rubbed at his jaw.

"What the fuck?" He glared at me, his fists balled. He made a move toward me, and I raised my eyebrow daring him to do something. I don't know what I was thinking or where this sense of bravado came from; I probably should have taken off running at the sight of him. Maybe if I hadn't have hit my head, I would have been thinking straight, but instead I glared at him in defiance, refusing to show him any fear. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. For too long Laurent had taken pride in making girls feel what he wanted them to. I wasn't going to be one of them.

"Stupid cunt!" he yelled, clearly not happy with my act of bravery.

I glared evenly at Laurent, but I wasn't satisfied. I wanted to hit him again, but my hand throbbed and I couldn't be sure that it wasn't broken - it sure as hell felt that way.

"Fuck you Laurent, you deserve more! We both know you scared Jess into lying to Mike about what happened," I hissed.

"Oh for fuck sake, give it a bloody rest Bella, she lied. She's a slut. The sooner you learn to live with it the better," Laurent's anger was unmistakable as he continued to rub his jaw. I couldn't help the smug sense of satisfaction that was growing inside of me knowing that I had hurt him, even if he deserved worse.

"Take it back," I threatened as I took a step towards him this time. James put his arm on my shoulder to stop me but I shrugged him off, turning to give him a warning look.

"Bella," he moaned. "Please stop this."

"NO! He's ruining her life!" I screamed. I took another step toward Laurent as he smirked at my attempt to be threatening. His leer sent me over the edge, and I lunged again; for the second time I took a swing at him, but this time he saw it coming and reacted, catching my wrist before it connected with his face. He pushed me backwards against the hallway wall, smacking my head against it with the force, as he pinned my arm above my head.

"If you don't stop this Bella, I will show you what made Jess change her story," he whispered in my ear, low enough so James couldn't hear. My pulse was thudding in my ear due to the adrenalin that was running through my veins, Laurent's words should have scared me senseless, but they didn't.

"If you don't let go of me, I will show you what_ I_ can do to make _you_ change your story," I threatened through gritted teeth. I wasn't ready to let him get away with scaring me or my friend. But I had no idea how to make Laurent fear me – how could a guy his size fear a girl who weighed a hundred and twenty pounds and was just over five foot four tall? At my words, he laughed at me, his warm beer breath hitting me in the face. I squeezed my eyes shut; he was absolutely repulsive, and my body screamed at me to get away from him.

"You know, you're kind of sexy when you're mad," he groaned in my ear. "Yes…very sexy," he moaned again. His body was pressed tightly against mine, and I had to turn my head away from his in an effort to avoid our lips touching. "Come on Bella, don't be like that," he pleaded into my neck. My breathing hitched in my throat causing Laurent to chuckle, his free hand moved its way up my side – despite my efforts, he was getting exactly what he wanted from me. My eyes were still tightly closed and my head turned away from him – the fear that should have been already coursing through my body hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't get Laurent off me, he was too strong. He was so tightly pressed against my body, I couldn't even knee him the balls – I began to panic.

I opened my eyes, my head still turned to see James staring at us, his face contorted with anger and his fists balled. I couldn't for the life of me understand why he would let Laurent do this to me, how he could stand by and watch as his so called best friend groped the shit out of me, but then again we weren't really together anymore. I opened my mouth to speak, to beg James to do something, but he reacted faster. He grabbed Laurent by the back of his neck and pulled him from me. He then tacked him and their bodies collided into the wall opposite me, leaving a gaping hole in the plaster. My legs gave out under my body and I dropped to the floor, I hadn't even realized Laurent had been holding me up.

When I stood up again James had Laurent pinned against the wall. "Don't you ever touch her like that again!" James spat in Laurent's face.

Laurent lifted up his hands, in surrender, "I thought you said that you guys were over, I thought she was fair game." He shouldn't have spoken as this only infuriated James further.

"NO ONE TOUCHES HER!" he yelled, causing me to flinch.

"Okay, Jeez!" Laurent gave into James' dramatics, and James released him. Laurent sauntered quickly from the room, but as he passed me he winked and licked his lips simultaneously causing my skin to crawl. I was shocked at his nerve considering James was right there, but then realized he knew there was no way James could have seen. When Laurent was out of sight, James turned to face me. His expression was still angry; however he looked like he was trying to calm himself down before he spoke.

"Are you okay?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes," I whispered. I turned to leave; I wanted to get out of his presence as soon as possible, but James had other ideas. He hurried to stand between me and the exit, placing his hands lightly on my arms, forcing me to look up at him. I cringed at his touch, and he dropped his hold immediately, his expression unfathomable.

"Don't go," he begged softly as I pushed past him.

"Can't we just talk about this?" he asked the back of my head as he followed me down the hall.

"There is nothing to talk about," I bit back. A few party goers, girls I didn't recognize, made their way into the house but stopped when they saw James and me; something in James expression told them they weren't welcome, and they quickly made their retreat back out the way they came. I decided to follow their lead and continued to walk away from him.

"Please Bella," he begged again, grabbing hold of my wrist pulling me to a stop. I turned to face him and felt my resolve waver as I took in his expression. I quickly shook my head; no, there were no more chances to be had. "I promise…"

I pulled down the neck of my soaked sweater to reveal the bruises on my neck, effectively stopping him mid-sentence. His jaw clenched as he took in the damage he himself had caused. He brought up his free hand to touch me, just as Edward had, but I took a step backward preventing him. A range of emotions flittered across his face, anger, hurt, guilt. But I decided I shouldn't really care how he felt.

Yes I had once loved him, and I probably still had some feelings for him, but mostly they consisted of fear and hurt. I had thought he loved me too, that he felt the same way. Hell, he had even proposed to me, but he wasn't the same person anymore. He scared me, he was violent, he chose his loser friend over me, and he definitely didn't deserve another chance. Even if he did just about kill Laurent right now.

"It's over James," I shook my head. "Don't ever touch me or talk to me again." As I spoke, it was as if a switch flicked, and I watched as a fire began to burn in his now black eyes. His forehead pinched together, and he pulled me roughly by the wrist toward him.

"It's over when I say it is," he growled, his face inches from mine. Like Laurent, his breath smelt like beer and cigarettes. And again for some reason, I failed to feel the fear I should have.

"No, its not, and if you don't let me go James, I _will_ scream," I said calmly. His face dropped slightly as he realized he couldn't force me to bend his will, and believing me, he let go of my wrist. But as I turned to walk out the door, I felt him shove me from behind. Everything turned into slow motion at that point as I stumbled forward under his hands.

The force of his push sent me crashing into a large thick table, the corner of which caught me in the rib. I rolled off the table and onto the floor, hitting it hard. The impact knocked the wind from my lungs, and I had to cover my head with my hands as all the glass beer bottles that once covered the table crashed and shattered around me. I lay there on my back and moved my arms to my waist, clutching at my ribs and gasping for air. I was in agony, and tears began to stream down my face.

"You always were such a klutz," James scoffed as he stood over me, leering. The look in his eyes used to be unfamiliar to me, but I had grown to know it quiet well in the last week; there was a glint of madness to them and the anger that his features were thick with was terrifying. Slowly, he kneeled down to where I was laying on the floor, glass crunching under his feet. At first it looked like he was going to help me up, but instead he bent his head toward me so that his mouth was only an inch from my ear and whispered. "It's not over until I say it is, bitch." And as quickly as he said it he stood, kicked me swiftly in the ribs before he headed down the hall and exited out the back door.

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**If you are getting sad about lack of Edwella time, it is coming, there might just be a kiss shared not in the next chapter but the one after ;)**

**So the more you review the faster we can get there and see if it happens =)  
**


	22. AN

Hey guys, sorry this isn't a chapter! I'm super busy, so won't have one up until next week. After that there will be 2 – 3 updates a week. So sorry to keep you waiting, but don't worry when I get back to posting there will be that Bella Edward moment we have been waiting for ;)

In the meantime if you are looking for something to read check out my favorites, there are a few on there that I'm sure you will love as much as I do!

The new ones I have become hooked on are:

**Shadow Boxer** (Seriously the sweetest Edward ever in this story) and **The Ex Factor!**

CHECK THEM OUT!

Xxx Char.


	23. Chp 22: Dr Carlisle Cullen

**A/N – sorry it's been soooooo long, but been super busy. Thanks everyone who has reviewed you guys are awesome and I'm sorry I haven't been able to get back to all your reviews, but you have to know how that I love ya all - I truly do! The reviews mean millions :) and they keep me writing even when I have no time to. Lol. **

**Next update will be after the weekend and you will get two posts next week. :)**

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22/23. Dr. Carlisle Cullen

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BPOV

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I curled up into a ball as both my arms wrapped around my waist. I bit down hard on my lip to prevent the sob that was building from escaping. I lay that way only for a moment before I realized that I needed to get out of here. I was worried about what would happen if either Laurent or James decided to come back; I didn't know which one was worse. I also didn't want anyone else to find me like this.

I rolled over onto my knees and used my hands to push myself up slowly. I blinked quickly as the room swam around me as I tried unsuccessfully to clear my vision. I tried to stand upright but I found it was impossible as a sharp gasp of pain escaped my lips and it caused me to double over again. Instead of making my way out the same door as James and running the risk of bumping into him again, I walked bent slightly at the waist as I clutched at my sides, back up the hall to exit out the front.

Once I got outside I reached into my pocket for my phone but it was water logged and dead. DAMN IT, I cursed internally. In my other pocket was my keys and I clutched them in my hands as I made my way to my truck. I struggled with the lock as my hands shook with the cold and pain but finally I managed to let myself in. I lay down on the truck's bench seat curled up in a ball as I worked to calm myself down enough to drive. I pulled up my wet top slowly to check the damage and noticed the red welts that had already began to form, I poked at the tenderly and squeezed my eyes together at the resulting pain, hot wet tears made their way down my cheeks. I sat up slowly and checked my head wound in the mirror, it was pretty superficial and looked clean, I didn't think that I needed stitches.

I drove myself home, to change before I headed to the hospital, I had had enough injuries to know that my ribs weren't broken but head injuries weren't my forte, I was scared that I might have a concussion like James had said.

When I got home Charlie was there waiting for me in the kitchen, Jake's car wasn't in the drive so I knew him and Billy had already gone home.

"I've been worried shitless Bella, I called Jess but she said you had already left, she sounded scared…" he mumbled when I entered, and then he saw the cut above my head and flipped. "WHO DID THAT TO YOU?"

I waved my hand at him, brushing off his overreaction. "I fell Dad, like I usually do."

He sighed. "Jesus Bella, you need to watch where you're going," Charlie made his way over to me and held my chin with his thumb and forefinger, turning my head to inspect the cut above my eye; he dropped his hand when he realized it wasn't as bad as it looked. He quickly gave me a once over. "Why are you all wet?"

"Paddling Pool," I muttered. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Go and change and I'll take you to the hospital," he sighed again. "You could have a concussion." This was usual business for Charlie and I, whenever I went over to the Res I always came back with some sort of injury, usually caused by a motorcycle but Charlie didn't know that – Jake and I usually came up with some sort of cover story that he would always buy – like tripping and hitting my head on a hammer. Yeah, they were far fetched, but when you had a daughter that fought with gravity daily you learned to believe in ridiculous.

As I changed, I checked out the damage in my bedroom mirror. Yup the cut above my eye wasn't _so_ bad, but the bruises from my fall and James's kick were awful. The bruise from his kick had left an imprint in my side that looked like the sole of his boot. I didn't know how I was going to explain _that_ to the doctors but I hoped they wouldn't be able to see it the way I did. Maybe because I knew what James had done, I could see it and they wouldn't be able to_. One could hope._ I chucked on dark woolen sweater, a pair of ratty jeans and tied my still wet hair back in a messy ponytail. I quickly washed my face, removing dried blood from the cut and the rest of the mascara I had missed, and headed downstairs to meet Charlie. Walking down the stairs was a bit hard on the ribs but I successfully managed to hide the pain so Charlie wouldn't see – I didn't want to worry him, it was going to be hard enough to explain.

….

I shifted uneasily from one foot to the other; the blinding white room was causing me to feel nauseous and really didn't help the pain I was feeling. I hated hospitals, not only were they a constant reminder of my inept ability to walk on a flat surface without injury, but they smelt clinical and felt cold. It also didn't help they I didn't want to be here, not when I had no idea what I was going to do. The hospital was basically empty at this time of night, which was a good thing because I didn't need people talking about the chief's daughter _again. _

"Nice to finally meet you Chief Swan," Carlisle's voice was soft and velvety and reminded me immediately of Edward. Both were gorgeous and charming and their mere touch could send your heart racing just as I was about to find out. I could see all the nurses staring at him dreamily and I would have chuckled had I not been doing the same thing.

"Likewise," Charlie responded. Charlie and Carlisle shook hands quickly before Carlisle turned to face me dazzling me with his smile.

_How is it possible that he has two teenage kids when he looks so young?_

"You must be Bella," he said, placing a light hand on my shoulder. _Yup, there goes my heart._

"Yes," I squeaked. _Damn, damn, damnity, damn! _The first time I meet Edward's father and I make a fool of myself.

_See how you thought of him as Edward's father not Alice's?_

Shut up.

_I'm just saying…_

Shut up!

"I've heard a lot about you," he smiled at me. I must have looked at him confused. "Small town," he explained. "And Alice has been talking."

"Oh." I wasn't supposed to sound disappointed, but some part of me wanted him to say it was Edward who had talked about me. That part I knew was the selfish part, I had done nothing but push Edward away but I still hoped that he felt something towards me.

"Now let me take a look at that eye," he smiled, leading me into his examining room. Carlisle went around his business, cleaning the cut, putting gauze and butterfly stitches over it – at least they weren't real stitches. _I am going to look so cool_, I thought sarcastically. Him and Charlie were bantering about some recent sport results and seemed to be getting along really well. Except when Carlisle scolded Charlie for not bringing me in last week when I was 'attacked', apparently my injury could have been serious and we were lucky that it wasn't – I saw Charlie mentally kicking himself and I felt sorry for him. He had already berated himself enough over the incident, and it made me feel beyond guilty. Nonetheless they got on like a house on fire and it made me smile as they joked with one another.

_That's got to be a plus, good in laws,_ my subconscious chuckled. I just sighed. I must have hit my head really hard.

"There," Carlisle said once he had finished mending me. "You were pretty lucky Bella, but you should really watch were you are going." Charlie chuckled at his words.

"That's a little easier said than done," Charlie scoffed. I turned to glare at him, I didn't like people making jokes at my expense, even though I should have been used to it by now. Charlie looked at me sheepishly and then closed his mouth.

I turned back to face Carlisle who I noticed was fighting back a smile; I could feel my cheeks warm with embarrassment. He quickly wrote out a prescription for some pain medication and told Charlie that he had to wake me up every couple of hours or so because although he thought it was unlikely that I had a concussion he wanted to be on the safe side.

I really liked Carlisle; he was sweet and caring but very professional. Between both his and Charlie's mere presence I managed to keep the deep depression that was threatening to drown me and cut me into a million pieces at bay. It was easy to feel giddy and at ease around the both of them when they kept cracking jokes even if it was at my expense. I didn't want to think about what had happened, just yet. I couldn't allow myself to feel self pity or to wallow in the guilt that consumed me knowing that I would try to keep the truth from everyone again. I needed my head about me so I could speak to Mike and Jess; I needed to sort them out first, I had to get through one more day of school and then I could hole myself up in my room for the weekend.

"Any other injuries?" Carlisle asked once he had done explaining to Charlie how much medication I should take and how often. I hesitated for a second or so staring at Carlisle and decided that I better be honest. I was starting to wonder if my earlier assessment of whether they were broken or not was wrong, they were throbbing.

"I…um…my ribs," I said. Charlie looked at me curiously, probably wondering why I hadn't mentioned it to him. "I hit them as I fell," I added. Carlisle nodded and then reached over to lift up my woolen jersey; I quickly grabbed his hands, stopping him. I didn't want Charlie to see the mess that was under there and I was kind of hoping that he wouldn't be in the room when Carlisle examined me.

"Um…" I looked at Charlie who suddenly looked embarrassed. He wasn't good with half naked women or their undergarments, especially when it came to his own daughter. That's why I did all the washing, underwear freaked him out.

"Uh…I'll just step outside," he mumbled, turning a shade of red. A sense of relief washed over me as I turned back to Carlisle and let go of his hands. He motioned to me if he could lift it up and I nodded.

He slowly lifted my shirt and kept looking back at me, obviously sensing my discomfort at having his warms hands on me. He didn't say anything when he saw the bruises at first. Instead he went about feeling around my ribs and asking me where it hurt. At one stage I grimaced at the pain and he apologized, for which I responded that it was ok. He grabbed a bandage and proceeded to wrap it around my ribs nice and tight, it was a little uncomfortable.

Finally he lent back in his chair allowing me to lower my jersey; he turned around and starting making notes on a clipboard.

"Well they're not broken," he said turning to look me in the eye. "But do you want to tell me how you _really_ got those bruises?"

"I uh…fell," I stuttered.

"_Bella,"_ he spoke sternly. I probably should have thought through an explanation before I got here. I didn't have an answer for him and he was the first to break the silence. "You know that I have to report and suspected cases of abuse to child welfare?" he asked.

"P-pardon?" I stammered. I wasn't sure what he was getting at…child abuse? He couldn't seriously believe that Charlie had done this to me…could he?

"Bella, did Charlie do this to you?" His words were like another kick to the ribs. There was no way; no way at all that my father would ever hurt me. Charlie was the biggest softy he wouldn't ever raise his hand against me, not even when I was a child. Charlie always shied away from smacking, and the discipline was left up to Renee. I knew he cared a lot about me and there was no way he would ever hurt me, physically or otherwise.

"N-no," I stuttered, shaking my head. "He would never…" Carlisle looked at me with same look Edward had given me earlier today. He didn't believe me. I had to convince him that it wasn't my father, but that meant I had to give him answers, answers I didn't want to give anyone.

We started at each other for awhile and just as he opened his mouth to speak, I interrupted.

"Someone else did this," I blurted out. I couldn't handle him thinking badly of Charlie. That took priority over my urge to shut my mouth and tell him nothing as I had with everyone else. Carlisle closed his mouth and looked at me thoughtfully, searching my face for something, probably a hint as to whether I was telling the truth or not. Whatever it was he must have found it because he relaxed a little.

"Who Bella?" he asked softly placing his hand on mine. I shook my head and swallowed loudly before I found the courage to speak.

"It doesn't matter now," I muttered quietly.

"Bella if someone is hurting you it _does_ matter," Carlisle argued. I shook my head, causing him to frown.

"It won't happen again," I whispered.

"How can you be sure?"

"We aren't together anymore," I explained. I knew I had told him too much, but there was no going back now, it was obvious that he was going to push the matter until I told him who hurt me. I couldn't help but think that maybe I hadn't entirely eased his concern that it could be Charlie.

"Your boyfriend did this to you?" He sounded appalled.

"Yes," I answered looking at the ground uncomfortably. "Ex," I added quickly when his brow pinched together much the same as Edwards did when something bothered him and his eyes narrowed.

"Are you going to lay charges?" My head snapped up and I felt my eyes go wide as I stared at him.

"N-No," I choked, and then panic entered my voice. "You aren't going to say anything are you? It would break Charlie's heart…please I don't want him to know," I begged, my words running together in a rush, when he looked at me doubtfully.

"Doctor-patient confidentiality, Bella," he said sounding worried. "But I think you should at least think about it Bella."

"I will." I nodded, lying to him. He looked at me doubtfully again and sighed knowing there was nothing he could do, if I didn't want to press charges neither he or the police would be able to do anything. I stood up from the examining table ready to leave.

"Bella…" he started, stopping me in my tracks. "You are old enough to make your own decisions, and because it's not a guardian who is hurting you I am not obligated by law to report this to the police…unless you want me to," he continued, confirming what I already believed.

"But," he added. "I think that you should seriously consider reporting him Bella, it's not ok what he did to you…do you understand that?"

"Yes," I nodded meekly.

"And it's not your fault…no matter what you said or did," he continued.

I nodded again sitting back down on the table, suddenly feeling queasy at his words. I wasn't so sure that I wasn't at least partly to blame for what had happened to me.

"If you ever need to talk, I am here, and there are plenty of other people you can talk to." He placed his hand gently on my knee in an act of reassurance. And truthfully, despite what I had just admitted to him, I felt better, almost as though sharing my secret had relieved some of the pressure and the pain that had been building up.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen…that means a lot." I smiled up at him gratefully. He smiled back and reached across his desk grabbing a box of tissues and handed them to me, I hadn't realized I had been crying. I dried my eyes quickly and stood up to leave. He stood with me and walked me to the door, stopping with his hand on the handle.

"Bella, I don't want to see you in here again for this reason. Please promise me that for your sake and your fathers, that even if you don't report this boy, you will stay away from him, that you will stay safe." His face was scrunched up and the corners of his mouth were turned down. His genuine concern for me caused the tears to spill again, he was being so undeservingly kind to me, and reminded me so much of his son.

"I promise," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes again with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Good," he smiled but it didn't quiet reach his eyes; he placed his hand on my shoulder squeezing it gently. He opened the door and steered me from the room and towards Charlie.

I was worried that when I saw Charlie that I was going to cave. That he was going to see right through me and Carlisle, and that Carlisle would tell him what had happened. But to my relief Charlie just smiled and shook Carlisle's hand, offering to take him out fishing sometime.

….

It ended up that I wasn't able to go to school the next day because the pain medication Carlisle had given me made me extremely drowsy and that made walking even more of an impossibility for me. That was fine with me. I didn't need everyone looking at me funny all day and I didn't need another confrontation with Edward. I had no idea what to say to him, after we nearly kissed, after I lied to him and I was scared that maybe Carlisle had told him the truth.

Instead I spent the day reading my old ratty novels and doing less perilous things such as putting the wash on and getting out the food for tea. I tried to get a hold of both Mike and Jess, but Mike didn't answer his phone when I called or any of my texts I sent. Jess's mother told me Jess had already left Forks and hadn't taken her phone with her because she needed to get away from everything. This left me feeling apprehensive, I needed to make sure she was okay. I hadn't even had the chance to properly say goodbye after I stormed out of her place on a mission yesterday. I hadn't wanted to think about it or what had happened after.

Later in the afternoon I received a couple of texts from Rose and Alice asking if I was okay and what had happened. Luckily I had spent the morning drying out my phone with a hairdryer so it would work again. I quickly explained to them that my feet had gotten the better of me and I had tripped again. Immediately they let it drop which meant Carlisle had kept his word but they insisted that I get better because Tyler Crowley was having a party on Saturday night that I couldn't miss, they also added that James wouldn't be attending which lead me to believe that he had spread the word that we weren't together anymore. Probably saying that he had broken up with me, which I knew would be the case given what he had said to me last night.

'_It's not over until _I _say it is, bitch.'_

The really weird thing was that I hadn't even allowed myself to think about what James had done yesterday. It was as if it hadn't happened. I would have thought it as a dream if I still didn't have the nice tight bandages wrapped around my torso to remind me. It was funny how after talking to Carlisle I didn't feel the urge to cry about it, it was like I was over it. I didn't care. Sure it was a bad experience, but I was tired of dwelling on those sorts of moments in my life. It wasn't worth it, he wasn't worth it. I wasn't going to allow him to get to me like this anymore. I was going to forget about it and him in the process.

'_It's not over until _I _say it is, bitch.'_

Even though I wasn't thinking about what had happened and I had told myself I was technically 'over it'. I was probably lying to myself just a bit, because those words continued to play over and over whenever I had a spare moment to let my mind wander. The words were as clear as the time he had said them and every time I heard them they brought me to my knees and I would find myself beginning to hyperventilate. No I wasn't over it, but I wasn't going to show him that. I was going to act as if he hadn't fazed me, it was going to be tough but I owed it to myself. I had to be strong.

I thought about what Carlisle said and I decided that I wasn't going to report him. I didn't want to drag it out in front of everyone. I didn't want to be the talk of the town and I didn't need a million people coming up to me and asking if I was okay making me reply what that stupid response of "I'm fine," when really I wasn't. He was not going to see me down and I wasn't going to show I was afraid. But I _was_ going to keep my promise, I would keep away from him, I won't put myself back in that situation.

Jess was gone, I wasn't speaking to Jake and I had no idea what was up with Mike I needed to relax and have fun with the girls, so when Alice and Rose wouldn't take no for an answer in regards to Tyler's 'wicked party' I gave in and decided to go out and have fun with them.

I was going to go back to being the old happy fun Bella, the person I used to be before James.

I was going to have fun again...I was going to move past this.

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**So next chapter B and E share a kiss or maybe two lol, and then Edward finds out about James….**

**So what I want to know is…**

**1/ Who do you think will initiate the kiss?**

**2/ How do you think they will feel about it later?**

**3/ How do you think Eddie will react to what James did?**

**Please review :) - because its my birthday and I want review presents - hehehehe :)  
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	24. Party Girl

**Okay, so I really really really sorry that it has taken me forever to update but it's just been so crazy at the moment. Wicked busy!!! But here it is, and there will be another on Friday and one on Monday. I can promise this because they're already written. This chapter was really crazy long and has been split into three chapters of which two are ready to be posted the third is nearly done. It's a little light-hearted compared to previous chaps and that's because we need to give Bella a little sanity time. It can't be all crazy all the time. But don't worry if you crave the drama there's loads to come.**

**Big thanks to my girls you know who you are!  
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23/24. Party Girl

…

BPOV

…

Summary of the previous chapter: Jess has left Forks and Mike isn't talking to Bella and Bella's not talking to Jake. Bella has decided she has had enough of being the pathetically depressed and miserable girl whose life is falling apart. She has decided to go and have some fun with the girls and attend Tyler's party on Saturday night – she is going to be the old Bella, the one before James.

…

Saturday Afternoon

"You are not going unless Jake is going with you and that is final!" Charlie bellowed at me as I threw my handbag on the kitchen table. Ever since I told Charlie I was going to Tyler Crowley's party tonight he has been _insisting _that I make up with Jake and take him with me. It was annoying! I didn't usually have to tell him exactly what my plans were, or even ask if I could go to these sorts of things. He used to trust me and my judgment. I couldn't fathom what I had done wrong to lose that with him.

"Why does he have to come?" I argued.

"Because in light of what happened to you the other week, I would prefer you took him with you to keep you safe," he bit back.

_Ohhh, so it's not a trust issue. He's worried about you. _Even though Charlie meant well, it still annoyed me. I didn't need Jake to baby me, and he was nearly two years younger than me for Christ's sake.

"Safe? Him trying to make out with me, even though I don't want him to, is safe?" I retorted.

"Bella, he is your best friend. So you had a misunderstanding? Big deal," he huffed, showing his annoyance at my inability to get past my best friend ruining our friendship because he lied to me and then couldn't keep his feelings in check.

"First of all, he _was_ my best friend…_was_…past tense. And second, there was no misunderstanding I made my feelings clear; he just decided to ignore them," I snapped, folding my arms across my chest.

"Well you're not going unless he does," he sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He picked up today's newspaper and started to read, signaling that the conversation was over. But I wasn't finished, I was stubborn and he knew that. I was going to Tyler's and he wasn't going to stop me.

"That's stupid, we aren't even talking anymore." I stomped my foot and then cringed when I realized how childish I just looked.

"I am well aware of that Isabella," he said not bothering to look up from the article he was reading, or _pretending_ to read. I groaned when he used my first name, I hated being called that, it made me feel like a child. And that's exactly what he was doing; he was treating me like a child.

"Ugh, Dad! I get it, you like Jake, he was a good friend, but at the moment we are sort of having a fight and I would really appreciate it if you let us sort it out by ourselves. I will be safe at the party I'm going with Rose and Alice, so Emmett and Jasper will be there and so will Alice's brother Edward –" _Hopefully,_ I added to myself.

"No Bella. Not until you put your petty differences aside and talk to Jake." I had to give it to him; Charlie rarely laid down the law like he was tonight. Usually he let me do what I wanted, knowing I wasn't stupid, but tonight he was really having a go at the whole 'parental' thing. It was a rarity for us to fight, but tonight I was playing the unreasonable, disobedient, argumentative, uncontrollable teenager thing to a tee.

I didn't even really want to go Tyler's that badly, but the fact I was told I couldn't, was making me want to. Yup I was definitely being a terrible teen.

Charlie was just as stubborn as I was and I knew that if I didn't do something drastic then he wasn't going to change his mind. Sneaking out wasn't an option, my father was the Chief of Police, and as soon as he noticed I was missing, the sooner he would turn up at Tyler's with his cruiser, lights blaring - the ultimate form of embarrassment. So I played a low shot.

"I just want to leave this house! IT'S DEPRESSING!" I yelled. Charlie dropped his paper to glare at me, but I didn't stop. "I get why mom left now," I said harshly. "It's like I'm a prisoner in my own home."

I didn't want to do it and immediately I felt sick, but he had left me no choice. The last sentence was the same as the one my mother had uttered when she had walked out his front door all those years ago. I had hit below the belt and I had hit hard.

"You don't mean that." He shook his head, looking like a hurt, crumpled old man, for the entire world to see. I wanted to give in, tell him I was sorry that I didn't mean it. But I couldn't, I didn't want to stay here tonight, I wanted to get out. I needed to be a normal teen for once, I needed the fun.

"The hell I don't!" I continued.

"Bella…"

"Maybe I _will_ take mom up on her offer," I spat. Charlie stared at me wounded. He knew that since now Renee and Phil had settled in one place, she had offered me a room if I wanted to go live with them. I hadn't ever dreamed of going. I still hadn't forgiven her and I knew Charlie knew that, but still he was a little insecure about it.

I grabbed my stuff off the table and the keys to my truck as I knew he wouldn't stop me now. I had played dirty and I felt really bad about it but I wanted to go. For my sanity, I needed to go out and be with the girls and just have fun. Without looking back I made my way to the truck. Mentally I saw the look of fear in his eyes, and I knew that if I looked back and saw it for real I would crumple to the floor, so I didn't.

…

Rosalie didn't hesitate in handing me a drink as soon as I entered her room; and I didn't hesitate in downing it in one go. Her and Alice were already halfway sloshed when I arrived and I wanted to catch up. I hated when others were drunk and I was sober.

"Whoa, easy girl," she giggled when I handed her my empty glass. "What's the occasion?"

"I just had a fight with Charlie and I said some things I shouldn't have," I sighed sadly. I was feeling ridiculously guilty; Charlie had only meant to be caring when he told me I couldn't go. He was worried about me, but I went and acted like a spoiled little brat. Rose waved her hand at me and handed me another drink.

"Forget about it girlie, we have all been there. Tonight is about having fun and getting our party on, so no pooping on it, okay?"

"Yep," I smiled half-heartedly, taking a sip of my new drink. It was delicious, vodka, peach schnapps, orange juice and cranberry-if I wasn't mistaken. Typical Rose, she loved her sex on the beach - _literally_. I giggled to myself at thought and could tell that I was already feeling the effects of the alcoholic mix. I was a real lightweight.

Alice and Rose were staring at me incredulously.

"Maybe you should slow down," Alice laughed, snatching my drink, downing it in one go.

"Hey!" I cried. "That was mine."

"Now, now," she said shaking her head. "I don't want you _so_ drunk that you scare my brother off!" My mouth all but hit the floor at her words and I felt all my blood rush to my face.

"E-E-Edward is just…" I stammered, unable to finish the sentence.

"I knew it," she squealed, clapping her hands together, bouncing around like room like an annoying small child.

"Knew what?" I questioned, trying to act oblivious.

"Oh come on Bella," Rose chirped in. "You are as red as a tomato. You like Edward don't you?"

I shrugged nonchalantly trying to play it cool, but failing miserably. They both erupted in a fit of giggles at my lack of acting skills and I couldn't help but smile and giggle with them, it felt good.

"Ok, so now that that's all settled, let's get ready and make ourselves look good for our men," Rose announced, grabbing us all another drink. I clutched mine to my chest protectively and evil eyed Alice so she wouldn't get any ideas. She just shook her head and we both cracked up laughing again, nearly spilling the drinks.

Rosalie ignored us, walking into her large closet; she came back out with an armful of dresses in various shapes and colors and dumped them on the bed. They looked expensive and some of them still had tags on. Alice squealed again causing me to block my ears as she dove into the clothes gushing at designer names I had never heard of, she picked out three different dresses and began to methodically undress herself and change in front of us. I turned away embarrassed slightly at her lack of modesty.

"Oh don't be a prude Bella," she scowled at my reaction. "And try something on!" I looked doubtfully at the beautiful dresses in front of me; I wasn't really a dress person. Rose looked at me thoughtfully while I picked up different dresses carefully, then dropped them on the bed when I saw how much they cost or how short they were. She shook her head and smiled before she left Alice and me alone as she re-entered the closet.

By the time Rose had returned Alice had dressed herself in a cute sexy little black dress and a pair of nude heels, she looked gorgeous. Rose gave her an approving nod and Alice rushed into Rose's bathroom to do her hair and makeup. Rose then turned to me and handed me numerous tops, shorts and skirts.

"Try these on," she said. "I know you don't like dresses, but you still have to make an effort if you're coming out with us." She then undressed and tried on a beautiful flirty colorful halter dress. It was a multitude of colors that made her bright blue eyes stand out. She looked amazing, as always, which kind of made me depressed, there really wasn't much point in trying to look beautiful when Rose was around. She left me to try on various clothes she had brought out and went to join Alice in the bathroom.

Eventually I settled on a silky blue singlet that was heavily detailed with fancy beading and a black miniskirt which was longer than both Alice's and Rose's dresses. Alice returned from the bathroom her short pixy hair molded to perfection and her makeup dark and sexy. She frowned slightly at what I was wearing and then muttered something about how it would have to do. She then proceeded, without asking me, to curl my hair and apply makeup. When Rose returned I almost ripped off all my clothes to put back on my trusty jeans and baggy top. She looked amazing, her beautiful golden hair was half tied up and the rest flowed and curled down her back, her makeup was lighter than Alice's and complimented the colors of her dress, she was simply stunning, so much so that it made me feel ridiculous for even trying.

"Argh! What's the point?" I moaned, throwing my hands in the air.

"What?" Alice and Rose asked in unison.

"Look at you two," I said waving my hands toward each of them. "Look at me," I continued, indicting with my arms my plainness.

"Don't be silly Bella, you look gorgeous, look at what Alice has done with you," Rose growled. I frowned at the absurdity of it but went to check out the mirror anyway and was slightly surprised. Alice hadn't done half bad, considering what she had to work with. My long brown, usually plain straight hair was curled loosely around my face, and my makeup was dark like Alice's, but not as strong. I had to admit I didn't look half bad.

"Try these on," Alice ordered chucking a pair of blue strappy heels in my direction that matched my top. I started at her incredulously and began to object-me and heels was never a good combination-but Alice just waved her hand at me, angrily indicating not to argue.

"They aren't too high and if you can't wear them you can change." She left the room again while Rose proceeded to attach the tortuous shoes to my feet.

"So about Edward…" Rose started, as she buckled the shoes.

I looked at her quizzingly and waited for her to continue, not sure what she was getting at.

"Look Bella, I know he likes you, something Emmett said, and Alice hinted at. I want you to know he is a nice guy and I don't want you doing what you usually do with guys…you know… go out with them for a week and then ditch them," Rose looked up at me raising an eyebrow.

"Hey I'm no slut," I defended. Sure some of what she was saying was true, but the way she said it made its sound really bad. She shook her head at my response.

"I didn't mean you were a slut, Bella. I just know you. You have a habit of going out with any guy that likes you just to make _them _happy. And then you get tired of them and try to avoid them or get Jess to dump them for you. I only want you to date or whatever you want to do with that Greek god brother of Alice's, if you want to. Not if he does and not because everyone thinks you should," she explained as she finished with the shoes and sat down next to me.

I nodded. I knew what she was getting at. I did have a nasty routine of dating any guy that asks. It happened with Mike, before he was with Jess, Tyler, Eric and even James. They all hounded me until I gave in and none of them, besides James, had lasted longer than a week. Usually I hurt them more than if I had just denied them, especially Eric who went as far as to say I was user and had played him. The thing is I had a problem saying no to them. I hated letting people down, so I always got myself into more of a mess by allowing them to take me out on a date, getting their hopes up.

"I know Rose, it's not like that. He's different," I muttered looking down at my drink. "I feel something with him, I feel safe. He is a good guy and I know that, I don't want to hurt him. I know I've only just broken up with James, but I can't help it, I do like him."

"That's good," she smiled warmly at me and rubbed my shoulders. "I just want you to be happy…because I know you haven't been in a while." I smiled politely back at her, trying to reassure her that I was okay, that everything was going to be okay.

…

We arrived at Tyler's fashionably late and I rolled my eyes as everyone turned to stare at us as we entered. Girls and guys alike were openly gaping at us, well mostly at Rose and Alice, but I couldn't help but notice a few of the stares were saved for me. I didn't like it, I hated when people stared at me-it caused me to feel incredibly nervous and usually resulted in me doing something typically clumsy.

_I shouldn't have allowed them to dress me like this_, I thought bitterly when I caught Eric and Tyler along with some of their other buddies staring at my bare legs and nudging one another. I felt cheap. The only person I wanted to take notice of me tonight was Edward and even then I didn't really want him to look at me the way they were. I pulled uncomfortably on the hem of my short skirt and felt Rose's hand slap mine away.

"Leave the mini alone Bella," she growled, as we entered the Crowley's house.

I searched the crowd of people as we made our way over to a makeshift bar that was set up in Tyler's living room, looking for that unmistakable bronze head. Alice ordered us some tequila shots and some Red bull chasers and I downed them quickly, choking a little as the alcohol burned my throat making me feel a little nauseated, I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose willing the nausea to pass.

"Well don't you ladies look devastatingly beautiful tonight," an unmistakable southern drawl stated. I opened my eyes to see Jasper had approached us, and even though he had complimented us, all he only had eyes for Alice.

…

**EPOV**

…

"Dude," Emmett let out a low whistle of appreciation as the girls arrived together hand in hand. "Isn't this just your wildest dreams come true? Three beautiful ladies all touching one another."

"_Emmett_," Jazz and I groaned collectively.

"What?" he asked innocently. "Wouldn't you love to have all three of them at once? I mean Jesus look at them." He had a point the three girls did look amazing, especially Bella, she was breathtaking and the mere sight of her had my heart hammering.

"Em, that's my sister your including in your fantasy and Edward's too, so no I don't think we are thinking along the same lines as you," Jazz snapped, obviously not happy that his sister's boyfriend was talking about her and her friends that way.

Emmett shrugged, unfazed by Jaspers sudden coldness in attitude. "I'm just saying, you have to appreciate the way our girls look tonight Jasper, and even Bella's looking rather fine," Emmett added staring pointedly at me. Jasper shook his head in clear disapproval at Emmett's obvious hint. I sighed; Jasper still didn't want me anywhere near Bella even though she was no longer with that douchebag.

"I'm sorry Edward," Jasper said. "But even though they aren't together, I wouldn't push James if I were you. He's pretty possessive."

"She doesn't belong to him and I can handle myself," I said dismissively, taking a swig from my beer as I stared at Bella, drinking in her flawless beauty and smirking at the way she managed to still look sexy as she stumbled into the house in those heels, what was she thinking? _Heels - really?_

"Edward," Jasper warned looking over to where my attention was diverted; the girls had made their way over to the bar. "Don't start trouble."

"Back off Jasper," I snapped. His attitude was really starting to irritate me, I knew he was only trying to look out for us but it was getting tiring. What was even more annoying, as his worry was unfounded, Bella didn't want anything to do with me, and had flatly denied me the other day at school. She had turned away from me when I had tried to kiss her, and then had taken off in that tool, Jacob Black's, car. She had even lied to me about being with James still, when she clearly wasn't. I had been wrong about her, she didn't feel what I felt, and I had been deluding myself.

"Whatever," Jasper said angrily, as he left Emmet and I and made his way over to the girls who were now doing shots. I almost cried out when Bella threw her head back seductively showing off her bare neck, as she downed her shot. She wasn't even aware of what she was doing to me, or the other sorry saps that stared after her. She was achingly beautiful and I had to turn away rubbing my face tiredly as I willed her from my thoughts.

…

* * *

...

**So not too exciting I know. And I remember promising a kiss, and originally it was in this chap, but it got soo long I decided to chop it into three since it was around 20,000+ words. So you need to review to get the next chapters faster to get those kisses!! (yes I mean kisses as in plural.) And remember Eddies gonna find out about that prick James.**

**So please review. I work for them :)**


	25. Hallucinations

**24/25. Hallucinations**

…**.**

**BPOV**

….

I still couldn't see him anywhere as Jasper and Alice left to go dance leaving me and Rosalie alone to fend off the unwelcoming advances from various boys, some of them I had never seen before and a few looked old enough to be in college.

Rose was her usual self when it came to guys she wasn't interested in hitting on her. She was a plain bitch, she was nasty and put them down time after time, but they still kept it up. It was pathetic to watch and I almost felt sorry for her, it must be hard being that beautiful. My method was to act oblivious to anyone who approached me and if I couldn't, I just smiled politely at whatever they were saying.

Finally, the unwanted group of boys dispersed, and it took me only seconds to realize that the cause was Emmett. He lumbered over menacingly, his face dark and intimidating as he stared down any guy within a ten meter radius of Rosalie and me. Once he finally made his way to us he wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist pointedly and kissed her deeply, turning to smile smugly at any boy that still had the nerve to stick around. He then slipped his other arm around my waist and pecked me on the cheek, and Rose and I erupted in a fit of giggles as Emmett growled loudly, "Mine!" as he clutched us tightly to his chest before he escorted us from the bar.

After his display of caveman possession, Emmett led us over to a couple of lounge chairs and motioned for us to sit before he took off quickly returning with drinks in hand. "Drink," he ordered, handing us each a Smirnoff mixer, and lying down next to Rosalie.

I quickly searched the crowd again for _him_, as Rose and Emmett got comfortable sharing a seat. I couldn't see him on the dance floor or with any of the other baseball players and I was about to give up and go talk to Mike, who I had noticed was here talking to someone. But then I noticed who he was talking to. My heart tightened as I noticed Edward's bronze hair and then it sunk to the floor when I noticed someone had their hand in those beautiful locks, and her body was sickeningly close to his. Tanya Denali was playing with Edward's hair while she pressed her body against his whispering in his ear. I couldn't make out his expression because Mike was blocking my view but I had seen enough. From the closeness of their bodies, to the flirtatious smile that played on her lips as she whispered to him, I could tell he was a goner.

My mind starting running at hyper speed as my stomach churned. I had lost my chance with Edward and he was moving on; _quickly_. I had stuffed up by snubbing him. I had hurt his feelings and now he was preoccupying himself with someone else. I had no one else to blame but myself; but I couldn't help the hurt and anger that burned within me. I snatched Rose's unfinished drink from the table between us and skulled it quickly before I excused myself to get more refreshments.

There was a dry ache in my chest and my eyes burned as I stormed over to the bar. My thoughts were running wild and I was breathing heavily. If he cared about me like he often ensued then why was he able to give up so easily? He obviously didn't feel the way I thought he did. Who I was kidding? It was stupid of me to hope that someone so perfect could be interested in someone like me, someone so plain and uninteresting, and someone with a multitude of baggage. But even so, I liked to think that I was better than Tanya and it disgusted me that he had chosen her. Even if he didn't want me, I wanted him to do better than her.

I ordered myself two shots, throwing them back quickly while the barman stared at me apprehensively and ordered three beers. I went to sit back with Emmett and Rose and handed them their drinks, while I chugged mine quickly.

"Someone's in a hurry," Emmett teased as I finished my beer. I gave him a pointed glance that told him I wasn't in the mood for his teasing, immediately he closed his mouth. I suddenly really didn't want to think anymore. I thought too much and there was too much to think about, Edward, James, Laurent, Jacob, Jess and Mike. It was too much. I had promised myself that I would have fun tonight and I was planning on doing that, I just needed to forget a little to do that. I leaned back in my chair marveling at how quickly the warmth of the alcohol had spread to my limbs and that's when I noticed that the three of us weren't alone.

"Can I get you another drink?" Tyler asked as he stood over my chair. My expression hardened as his eyes returned to mine after lingering on my bare legs a little longer than necessary but I nodded anyway.

"That would be great," I responded, changing my expression to give him a warm smile. I saw the hope in his eyes as he scampered to fill my request and I felt a little guilty before I shrugged to myself. _Think of yourself for once_, I reminded internally. What was the harm in letting Tyler get me a drink? I wasn't leading him on. It was innocent. _If he read into it too much that was his fault not mine_, I thought bitterly.

Rosalie leaned over me to grab her drink that I had picked up without thinking. She gave me a quizzing look. "What was all that about?" she asked quietly.

"What?" I asked innocently. "He wanted to get me a drink and I wanted one."

"What happened to Edward?" she asked raising an eyebrow. Emmett was pretending to preoccupy himself with his drink but I could tell he was listening in.

"Another boy can't get me a drink without me forgetting about Edward?" I snapped. "Besides," I continued. "That's what happened to Edward," I said nodding in the direction of where he and Tanya were standing. Mike was no longer with them and she had her back was to me as she spoke with Edward but I could see him smiling at her. I winced a little as my stomach flipped at the sight; it was his beautiful crooked smile. Rose followed my gaze and then turned to roll her eyes at me.

"So he can't talk to another girl without forgetting about you?" she asked sarcastically, throwing my words back in my face.

"It's Tanya Denali, Rose. I can't compete with that," I said somberly. Even now as I watched Tanya I knew it was true. She was Rose's cousin after all. Her long, thick, strawberry blonde hair flowed down her back in soft curls and her perfect, slim but curvy body was on display in her fitting green strapless dress. Besides Rose she was by far the most beautiful girl at the party.

Rose gave me a funny look and opened her mouth to speak but Emmet bet her to it. "Bella he _is_ crazy about you, you would have to be a fool not to see that." He looked at me earnestly. "He keeps looking at you…no scratch that,_ staring_ at you. Trust me; he doesn't give a stuff about Tanya."

I shook my head and swallowed I wanted to believe what he said but I couldn't. "He hasn't been looking at me," I contradicted.

"Not while you've been watching Bella, he's careful. Jasper would have his ass if he knew that Edward was still after you. Trust me no matter what either of us says he's determined to continue to want you." I looked at Emmett confused and he sighed. "We think…no Jazz thinks that it would be prudent if Edward didn't try to steal you from James, even though you aren't together anymore you're still _his_ in a way. It's a guy-slash-team thing; you don't go dipping into each other's old toys," he explained. Rosalie stared at him in disgust and slapped him.

"Bella can date whoever she wants, it's not up to James," she growled.

"Hey," Emmett raised his hands in defense. "It's not my fault, I don't care if they both want to get it on, Jasper has the problem not me; he doesn't want any issues in the team."

"Stuff the team," Rosalie spat.

"Rose," I said quietly. "It's ok, they're right… it's too soon…I can't," I stuttered, realizing the helplessness of the situation. I didn't want to cause trouble for Edward and the other guys; it was bound to happen. Even if James didn't care about me anymore, I knew he didn't like Edward and he was likely to jump at a reason to wail on him which would mean the guys would have to choose sides. And that was based on the assumption that Edward _did_ like me, which I wasn't sure of despite Emmett's reassurance that he did.

"No it's not," Rosalie began to argue but was interrupted by Tyler who had returned with drinks for us all. He handed a beer to Emmett and a couple of girlie drinks to Rose and me. Rosalie didn't even try to hide the disgust as Tyler sat down next to me and made himself comfortable, I gave her a hard glare sending her a mental message to drop it. Thankfully she complied, turning to face a pouting Emmett, who obviously hadn't gotten over Rosalie's previous comments about the team.

I tried to feign interest in the things Tyler was telling me and the night seemed to drag on forever. The only peace I got was when he left to get us new drinks-I learned to down them quickly in order to get the five minute break from him. I didn't care about his hobbies, what he was going to do next year, or where he was going to study. I _really_ didn't care. All I could do was nod and drink and I was starting to feel rather inebriated after a few hours and a few too many drinks.

Rosalie and Emmett had left us a long time ago to go dance or make out or whatever. I tried to get away from Tyler, making a point to move from where we had been talking to mingle with other guests. I was sure to always avoid Edward and Tanya, who seemed to never leave his side. But Tyler always found me. The only positive thing about that was, he brought more booze.

I caught Edward looking at me often during the night but it did nothing to dispel my worries. He didn't once come talk to me, and when he did look at me he seemed to be frowning or glaring and in my drunken stupor-I couldn't tell if it was at me or at Tyler.

Somehow, I ended back where Tyler first found me with Rose and Emmett-except it was a lot later and the other two weren't around. I only faintly remembered going back to the seats, but had no idea how Tyler's arm found its way around my shoulders, all I knew was I didn't like it. I tried to straighten myself and subtly shrug his arms off me but he wouldn't budge. It was then that I noticed his eyes were closed and he was dribbling on my shoulder. Disgusted, I tried to push him off me but his limp body fell forward onto mine, pinning me to the chair.

"Tyler, get off me," I groaned, pushing helplessly at his head, it lolled to the side and he moaned but he didn't move.

"Arghh," I cried out. "Get off!" I tried to shove him again but it was useless, I was too weak and intoxicated and he was too heavy, he didn't budge an inch. I spent what felt like the next ten minutes fighting with Tyler's comatose body before I gave up. I looked around the backyard and noticed that the party had mostly dispersed or had gone inside. Most of the guests had paired off and were sitting together in various places around the yard and I could hear loud music thumping inside. I couldn't see Rose or Alice anywhere and was about to call out when someone from behind us spoke.

"Need some help?" A velvety voice asked. I tilted my head up to look above me at the sound of Edwards voice and saw his smirking face. Instantly I felt myself blush.

"Please," I groaned, trying again to push Tyler off me. Chuckling Edward walked around the lounger chair and, not so gently, pushed Tyler's deadweight off me and onto the ground where he landed with an audible thump. Surprisingly, Tyler only moaned and rolled over making himself more comfortable on the damp grass.

I stood up quickly, re-arranged my outfit, and turned to thank Edward but he just shook his head.

"I've wanted to do something like that to him all night," he chuckled staring down at me with his crooked grin. I felt my heart falter as I took in his appearance fully for the first time tonight; he was wearing dark jeans and a black shirt which was tight enough to show off his broad and sculpted frame. His lips were slightly red from drinking sprits and his hair was its normal sexy disarray. He looked amazing. I almost forgot how to speak.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded still smiling, "Ever since he started talking to you." I shook my head at his words; I couldn't even comprehend what he was saying.

"B-but," I looked at him confused. "Tanya?" I looked around us and noticed to my relief she wasn't at his side anymore.

"Tanya is somebody who can't take a hint…much like your friend here," he said indicating Tyler's sleeping form. I couldn't help the elation I felt at those words.

_He doesn't want her!_ my mind shouted

"So you haven't replaced me with her?" I blurted out before slapping my hands across my mouth in horror. "Oh my god! I didn't mean to say that out loud!"

He laughed loudly at my words. "I didn't realize you were mine to replace," he said smiling but then his expression turned hard, "But if you were…_mine_ that is, I would never replace you." I stared at him in absolute disbelief before I stamped my foot

"Damn it!" I growled loudly stamping my foot again. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

"What?" he asked stunned at my sudden outburst.

"I'm still under Tyler aren't I? And he's cutting off my airflow and I'm hallucinating!" I threw my hands up in the air. "Damn it!" I tried to stamp my foot again but this time the ridiculously long heel on my stupid shoes sunk into the soft ground and I pitched forward. As per usual, Edward caught me winding his warm arms around my waist to hold me up as he stared down at me with a mixed expression of bewilderment and amusement.

"What are you on about?" he asked looking at me with his confused green emeralds.

"I'm hallucinating," I mumbled, shaking my head. "You're not real."

"Um, I've very real Bella," he laughed. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Irre_leev_vant," I said dismissing his question but answering it as I slurred the word. "I know that you're not really here saying those things. You're really off somewhere with Tanya," I huffed.

"You are unbelievable," he chuckled pressing me to his chest. "I'm real Bella, honestly," he assured again as he pushed me away from him, still staring at me. I felt a momentary loss at being away from his warmth and I could feel myself pout.

"Prove it," I dared him. "Prove that you are real and I'm not imagining this." He frowned slightly at my words and I could tell he was thinking hard about what he was going to do, finally his face lit up and his smile turned smug, I felt my heart falter for the umpteenth time as he took me in his arms smiling devilishly.

….

**Nope it's not the kissing chap….man I'm so evil. But I bet you can guess its coming next. So get to reviewing and maybe…just maybe you might get this chapter before Monday…maybe even Saturday…just depends how much you want it. Hint hint!**


	26. First Kisses

25/26. First Kisses

….

EPOV

….

I came looking for Bella after I bumped into Rose and she accused me of being a stupid jerk for hanging around with Tanya all night and upsetting Bella. I had been dumbfounded when she told me that Bella actually liked me. I mean it couldn't be true, not after what happened on Thursday when she turned me down. It just didn't make sense. I hadn't meant to upset her, I didn't even like Tanya; I just couldn't get away from her. Bella had been on my mind all night and I hadn't really let her out of my sight once, especially when Tyler decided to make himself her date for the night.

Stupid fool, I could tell she didn't want him around her, but I decided to let her deal with it; I didn't want to interfere and make her hate me even more than I thought she actually did. So when I found out I was wrong, that maybe Bella actually felt something for me, I went to find her immediately to rid her of the stupid rat.

At first when I found her struggling with him as he lay half on top of her, I thought I was going to be spending the rest of the evening inside a cell, I was going to pummel Tyler's ass for even thinking about touching her. But then I realized the fool had passed out on her and relaxed immediately, helping him off of her with a little more force than necessary.

And now here I was face to face with the girl that looked like an angel, the girl that never left my thoughts, the one I had just found out might actually share the feelings I have and she was asking _me_ if _I_ was real. _Un-fucking-believable._

Bella stared at me one eyebrow cocked as she waited for me to prove to her that I was indeed real and she wasn't imagining anything. It then occurred to me what I could do to prove I was real and I smiled smugly as I took her back in my arms. I stared down at her with a look that shocked her as her eyes grew wide.

_Don't do it_, my sensible side tried to warn me through the haze of alcohol that was inhibiting my rationale. But I ignored my conscious and leaned in very slowly to whisper in Bella's ear, my lips grazing her soft skin.

"Are you sure?" I breathed. I watched as the hairs stood on the back of her neck and smiled cockily to myself. Bella swallowed loudly before answering in a weak voice.

"Prove it."

_Very well_, I thought to myself. I leaned back slowly staring into Bella's wide, expecting brown eyes and smiled.I brought my right hand up to cup the back of her neck as my left rested on her waist. Slowly I bought her face toward mine until our foreheads were touching lightly. Unexpectedly her lips parted and her eyes fluttered shut and at that point I wanted nothing more than to forget my plan and go through with a new one. I wanted to kiss her. But, I wasn't going to kiss her. I couldn't, not after what had happened the other day. When we had our first kiss, and I mean when, not if, I want her to initiate, I want it to be of her own accord.

Bella leaned into me, waiting, for me to do what I very much wanted but couldn't do. Our lips brushed and a soft moan escaped her lips it was almost my undoing.

"Please," she begged softly. "Just _do_ it."

The urge to press my lips to hers, to taste her was unbearable and she was asking me to, like actually asking me to. But for now I had to hide my joy, I couldn't come off too strong. I didn't want to scare her away again. Instead I took a deep breath and winding my fingers around the little strands of her hair on the back of her neck I pulled, softly not hard enough to hurt her but enough to shock her.

"What-the-fu-," she jumped smacking her forehead on mine. "Ouch," she cried out clapping her hand to her forehead as I rubbed mine.

_Real smooth Edward._

_Shut up._

Slowly she looked up to meet my sheepish eyes, she was blushing and looked both embarrassed and a little pissed.

"You pulled my hair," she stated incredulously her eyes wide with shock. I bit my lip and nodded, hoping that she wasn't about to blow a gasket on me.

"I needed to prove that you were awake remember?" I said cheekily.

"I thought you were going to kiss me," she replied blushing. "Not assault me!"

"Would kissing you have proved you weren't hallucinating?"

"Touché," she replied evenly while she simultaneously rubbed the back of her neck and her forehead. Suddenly she started giggling uncontrollably.

"Are you alright?" I asked, I was starting to worry that maybe us hitting heads and done some damage to her sanity. She was shaking her head and holding her waist while she was doubled over.

"Are you okay?" I asked again taking a step toward her, I put my hand on her shoulder and she grabbed onto my arm for support as she straightened still giggling.

"Sure," she laughed. "Let's go get a drink," she added tugging on my arm as she turned to head inside. I followed after her, not really wanting to get a drink but not wanting to leave her either.

"What's so funny?" I asked, unable to hide my own smile, I couldn't help it, she was infectious. She shrugged.

"I don't know the whole night, really," she nodded towards the barman waiting for me to order something; she already had a beer in her hand. I frowned. It was getting late and I didn't really feel like drinking anymore but I didn't want to be a sad sack so I ordered the same as her.

I leaned back against the bar and took a swig of my drink while I watched her sip her beer through a straw; she noticed my gaze and blushed. _How curious_. She could act all brazen one moment, asking me to kiss her and then the next become shy and innocent enough to blush under my watch.

"Do you what to enlighten me?" I asked, continuing our conversation from before.

"P-pardon?" she stammered confused.

"Why the whole night is so funny?"

"Oh," she giggled, looking down at her drink in her hands. "I don't know."

"Come on," I pushed, nudging her in the side in a flirting manner. "You can tell me."

She shook her head and continued to look down at her drink, but then she giggled. "It's just, how I spent the whole night with Tyler and it was horrible and I kept thinking you were off with Tanya and that made it worse. And then you come along and rescue me –" She hiccupped interrupting her speech "- and then it was like a dream and then you pretended to kiss me, which wasn't very fair by the way, and then you pulled my hair, we smacked heads and now here we are." She giggled and hiccupped again spilling her drink on her top.

"Damn, Rose is going to kill me," she said somberly brushing at the top but then she gave up giggling. "Oh well," she waved her hand dismissively and started to skull the rest of her beer, slamming it down on the counter before turning to me her face lit up with pride.

"I win," she said smugly.

_We were playing a game?_

"And you lose which means…." She hiccuped again and tried to take a step towards me but stumbled forward crashing into me.

"Whoa, easy there," I exclaimed, catching her in my arms. I put my drink down on the bar and indicated to the bar man to take it; I had had enough. "I think that maybe I should walk you home," I added in her ear.

"Kay," she muttered. "But I still won….so _you _owe me a kiss," she said fiercely poking me in the chest; I chuckled lightly and tried to ignore the surge in happiness I felt.

_She's drunk_, I reminded myself not to get too hopeful. _She probably won't feel the same tomorrow._

"Let's go get your stuff and then we can go," I said grabbing two bottles of water from the barman, I nodded to thank him. Tucking Bella under my arm I went to grab her things.

She pouted and moaned a little about having to leave so soon but soon gave up the fight once she realized that the others were leaving too.

…

After leaving the party we all went our separate ways, Emmett and Rose went to stay at Rose's since her parents were out of town and Jazz and Alice went back to mine, whilst I walked Bella to hers. The entire walk she flirted and played with me, much to my amusement and delight. She continually bounced around like an energizer bunny skipping and jumping and twirling her heels in her hands, rather gracefully for Bella, I might add.

Thank god she had taken the shoes off once we left the party. I didn't know how many more times I would have had to have caught her if she hadn't removed those ridiculous things. I would have to talk to Alice about that later; she just couldn't expect Bella to wear such contraptions without getting hurt. I didn't give a damn about her fashion justification she was bound to give. _No wait you should have made her keep them on_, I thought to myself. I should have been jumping at any chance to touch Bella, to hold Bella in my arms.

I was sure my face was going to be sore tomorrow with all the smiling and laughter I was sharing with Bella. She was unintentionally hilarious and very cute. Her happy attitude that I hadn't actually seen her express before was more than uplifting and I was already dreading the end of the night. I wanted to be around her always, so I could forever see her smile and for eternity listen to that laugh that managed to cause my insides to swell with my own happiness. I already loved her and she wasn't even mine yet to love.

When we finally made it to Bella's house, her mood momentarily changed and she simply refused to go home. She told me she had had a fight with her father, Charlie, and at the moment couldn't bear to go home and face him. The worst part was she flat out denied me any further explanation. It was like she hadn't realized where we were going until we finally got there and a part of me hoped that it was because she was just as absorbed with being with me as I was with being with her. I tried to coax her into just going home, because Charlie was probably worried about her, but she wouldn't, she could be awfully stubborn when she wanted.

Eventually we decided that she could stay with me, because there was 'no way' she was staying at Rose's while Emmett was there, without adults, because there was 'no telling' what they were up to. Alice was her friend too, so it was reasonable that she could stay at mine. Secretly I was relieved, and excited. Relieved because after Emmett's comment earlier tonight about imagining being with all the girls, I didn't want Bella at Roses' either. And excited because she was staying with me-even though I knew I couldn't hope for much. Not because Bella wouldn't give me anything, although she probably wouldn't, but because I wouldn't allow it. She was too intoxicated and I wasn't that type of guy – no matter how much I wanted to be – this was Bella we were talking about. I was just keen for her company, to be close to her, even if it wasn't physically.

_Yea I'm the perfect gentleman…the guy that pulled her hair. _

Soon enough we were doubling back to my house, her wearing my jacket because Rose and Alice hadn't let her bring one that was practical – _we don't want to mess with the ensemble, do we?_ Sometimes she would tuck herself under my arm for extra warmth, and I didn't mind that at all. It was harmless enough, but mostly, she just bounced around drunkenly as she giggled at anything remotely funny, from a couple we passed that hadn't quiet made it home to express their feelings, to a guy doubled over a rubbish bin expelling his contents. We spent some of the time just talking. I liked both sides of Bella, the serious side when we were talking, or the part of her that giggled uncontrollably. Either way, it was good to see her happy.

…

When we got home we noticed that Alice had offered refuge to a couple of other party goers, who I didn't really know. Silently we tiptoed around those that were crashed on the couches in my parent's living room. Of course being the gentleman I was, I offered Bella my bed, whilst I could sleep out in the living room with the new lodgers, but she refused. Citing that she was equally capable of sleeping on the floor, but there was no way I was letting her do that, not with strange boys. Somehow we came to the agreement that I would sleep in my own bed and she would take the sofa in my bedroom. I had to fight the urge to think too deeply about the fact that she wanted to sleep in my room, while I was in there sleeping or_ trying_ to sleep just a few feet away.

Making more noise than necessary, we raided my mother's linen closet for blankets and pillows for Bella and the guests. After Bella, in a fit of giggles, covered the drunken bodies sprawled across the living room, we stumbled and tripped over the blankets we still carried to get to my room -almost crashing to the floor as we staggered through the door

Bella ran into my room giggling and flopped herself down on my sofa sighing, pressing her face into the fabric and curling up into a ball.

"Night night," she muttered.

"You're ready to go to sleep now?" I asked stunned, she was so full of beans on the way home. I had to catch her numerous times as she bounced around me, tripping over her own feet and mine.

"Nope," she giggled into the sofa popping the 'p'. She turned her face slowly toward me smiling slyly, my heart thumped erratically, god she was so beautiful. Her hair was in shambles and so was her outfit which was covered in grass stains and mud, from the countless times she had tripped over her own feet. Her eyes were wide and shiny from the alcohol and not even the cut above her eye could distract me from how beautiful she looked when she smiled at me with those big brown eyes.

"Well what do you want to do?" I asked. It was three in the morning and I was rather tired but I couldn't go to sleep just yet, not with her here. She stared at me thinking, at first biting on her bottom lip before frowning and shaking her head.

_Did she even know how unbelievably cute she looked when she did that?_

"I don't know," she said sounding confused. She looked around my room thoughtfully. "Your room is very purrdy," she slurred.

"Thanks," I chuckled. Usually girls were annoying when they were drunk but Bella was just endearing, and besides, I hadn't seen her this happy since I met her. It warmed my heart. She continued assessing my room before her eyes finally came to rest on my clean folded laundry that was in a basket at the end of my bed. On top was a pile of my underwear which Bella seemed suddenly very interested in.

"Ohh," she gushed, rushing over to the basket before tripping over her feet and falling on her hands and knees. She rolled over onto her backside and laughed before she saw my underwear again and squealed picking up the first pair and clutching them to her chest. "Can I keep them," she moaned.

I chuckled when I realized which pair she was holding, they were black silky boxers that had a picture of the Transformer Bumble Bee on them. It was actually kind of embarrassing and a little childish that I had a pair of Transformers underwear. Alice had brought them for me last year for my birthday when I was crazy about the movie. She would tease me endlessly about it, she didn't like the movie and I hadn't ever really met a girl that had. Alice said she didn't understand it, but I didn't get what there was to not understand. They were fucking awesome cars that turned into freaking giant robots that kicked ass. What was there not to get?

"Uh, you like Transformers?" I asked Bella. She looked at me incredulously and shook her head.

"No…I LOVE TRANSFORMERS!" she shouted, bouncing over and plonking herself down next to me on the sofa. I closed my eyes when her bare arms brushed mine. Her skin was so soft.

"Shhh," I said putting my finger to her lips as I chuckled quietly at her enthusiasm, I tried to ignore the electric shock that travelled up my arm at the touch. "You'll wake up everyone." Her mouth popped open in the shape of an 'o' and she blushed slightly.

"Whoops," she giggled pressing her face into my shoulder.

"It's okay honey," I reassured, stroking her hair with my hand. I couldn't help it, it looked so soft and smelt so good. She didn't seem to mind either. She sighed and pressed he face further into my shirt; I couldn't help but notice how perfectly she fit there. I had to fight the urge to tilt her face to mine and kiss her, I couldn't…she was drunk. I wouldn't take advantage of her like that and she had already pushed me away once, I couldn't handle being rejected by her again if she woke up in the morning.

_In her own time_, I thought to myself. I couldn't help but think--no, hope--that she would come around. There was something I could feel between us, something that said we were meant to be together. I felt so drawn to her and I had to hope she felt it too.

"So…" I said trying to distract myself.

"Mhmm," she mumbled into my shirt. I noticed she was still clutching my underwear to her chest; it was fisted into a ball in her hand.

"You like Bumble Bee?"

"Yea, he's my favorite," she said sleepily not opening her eyes. I smiled to myself; I liked the way she looked as she pressed herself against my chest, peaceful and happy.

_She belongs with me._

"But I like Jazz too," she mumbled.

"Yeah he's pretty cool," I agreed.

"It's sad when he dies in the movie."

"Yeah it is," I said softly my lips pressed into her hair. She smelt like flowers and strawberries, it was delicious.

_Your such a sap_, I sighed internally.

She gasped and sat up quickly, I narrowly avoided being knocked out as her head hit me in the jaw.

"Ow," we both said at the same time as we rubbed our sore spots.

"Sorry," she mumbled, blushing profusely.

"It's okay," I replied, trying to ignore how empty my arms felt without her in them, or how sick I felt wondering if I had done something wrong to make her jolt upright so quickly.

"So why the sudden urge to knock me out?" I asked, chuckling nervously. I was unsure if I wanted to know the answer.

"Oh yeah!" she replied enthusiastically helping me relax. "Well do you think Jasper's favorite character is Jazz? His name is Jazz too!" she giggled. I chuckled at her and shook my head she was unbelievable.

"Maybe we could ask him," I suggested. Her eyes lit up immediately and she started to bounce around.

"Good idea," she gushed fumbling in her back pocket for her phone. She quickly found a number, squinting at the screen and pressed it to her ear humming to herself as it rang.

"Ah…what are you doing?" I asked her.

"Ringing Jazz! Duh!" she laughed.

"Bella it's three in the morning," I said as I reached for her hand grabbing her phone, hanging it up.

"Damn," she muttered pouting. "I really wanted to know," she whined. She looked so adorable I couldn't help but flash her my toothy grin which grew even wider as she smiled back.

I was about to reach out and touch her face when her phone started to vibrate in my hand saving me from making a potential mistake, it was Jasper calling back. "Hey Jazz," I answered putting her phone to my ear.

"Whats up? Is Bella okay? Why is she ringing me at three in the morning?" he asked groggily. I could hear Alice in the background asking if Bella was okay. "I'm asking, give me a minute," he muttered to her. I frowned; I didn't like the idea of my sister being with him. It's not that I didn't like Jasper, it's just I didn't want to think of her being with anyone..alone…in that way.

"Yeah she's fine she just…" I began to reply but Bella ripped the phone from my ear.

"Hey Jazz ," she said loudly in a singsong voice. I could hear Jasper muttering something on the other end, but I couldn't make out what it was.

"Nooo," she giggled blushing, avoiding eye contact with me. "No Jazz he's not trying to take advantage of me," she giggled again. I could hear him laughing on the other before saying something else and then there was a loud commotion on the other end on the phone.

"Oh, hey Alice," Bella laughed. "What ya doing with Jazz?"

Alice obviously replied because Bella started to giggle. "Okay, I'll let you get right back to that," she said while shaking with laughter. I groaned loudly and pressed the palm of my hands onto my ears. I didn't want to hear that shit.

"No," she gasped. "I'm not trying to seduce your brother!" She was shouting again, and must have forgotten I was in the room because her hand flew to her mouth and she turned crimson red.

"No, you're mean Alice Cullen!" she moaned into the receiver. "I'm going now," she huffed, hanging up the phone on my sister.

"What was all that about?" I asked sheepishly.

"They think I'm trying to seduce you," she groaned. I laughed at her.

"Are you?"

"No, I am not," she growled, slapping me on the chest before grinning.

"You know you forgot to ask him…" I said, trying to change the subject off the idea of Bella trying to seduce me; I only had so much willpower.

"BALLS!" she squealed angrily, smashing her hand into her forehead. I couldn't help but roar in laughter her expression combined with what she just said and did was absolutely hilarious.

"Shhhh," she hissed, pouncing on me and knocking me back against the couch. "You will wake up your parents." She had obviously just forgotten she had just screamed 'balls' at the top of her lungs. She was straddling me and holding her hand against my mouth, her eyes were wide as she nervously listened to see if we were going to get caught. I chuckled against her warm hand and reached for her hips before I effortlessly flipped her onto her back and began to tickle her.

"Quit it," she gasped, her face turning red as she tried to slap my hands away.

"Shhh Bella, they will hear you," I teased as her squeals got louder. She tried to hold her mouth closed her face turning red as I continued to tickle her.

"Stop," she cried out wincing. But I just grinned at her and continued to tickle her; I was going to get her back for teasing me with her mere presence.

"Stop," she cried out tears sprouting in her eyes. "You're hurting me."

Immediately I stopped and sat backward. I went to hop off her legs but she grabbed me.

"Don't…" she begged. I looked at her confused…don't what?

"I'm sorry I hurt you Bella, I didn't even realize I was tickling you hard," I apologized feeling really shitty.

"Naw, it's okay Edward, I'm just tender from falling over yesterday, I hit my ribs," I studied her face as she smiled reassuringly at me, it didn't ease the guilt I felt. I went to lift up her top but she grabbed my hands.

"Uh…" she began.

"I just want to look to see if you are ok," I whispered. She shook her head vigorously.

"I'm fine, really, just a little tender .It's nothing," she mumbled pulling me toward her with force, unexpectedly. I fell against her and went to lift myself from her, thinking I might have hurt her again but she stopped me.

"Don't," she whispered again in my ear. Her breath was warm, I felt the hair on the back of my neck begin to stand. She pressed her lips against the skin just below my ear and she whispered, "I'm sorry for not kissing you when I had the chance." My stomach jumped into my throat at her words, did she really mean that?

"Me too," I said back, swallowing loudly. I could feel her smile against my neck.

"I wanted to," she breathed.

"Yeah?" I asked breathlessly.

"Mmhmm, I still want to," she replied.

Our bodies were pressed tightly against one another. I shook my head trying to remember how we got like this. I leaned back to look at her face, studying her carefully, she was biting down on her bottom lip as she stared back at me her eyes filled with desire.

"I do too…but…" I began, but she cut me off mid sentence, wrapping her arms around my neck pulling my face towards hers as she crashed her lips against mine.

I tensed up and froze; I didn't know what to do. I wanted this…more than _anything_. Ever since I laid eyes on her I wanted to kiss those mismatched lips. But she was drunk and I didn't want her to wake up tomorrow and hate me for it. I didn't want her to think I was that type of guy. I didn't know how to react…_what do I do? Does she want this or is she just drunk? Both? _

"Bella stop," I tried to mumble against her lips, but she wasn't having any of it. Her lips moved across mine slowly but with force. If I really wanted her to stop I could have made her, problem was I didn't want to stop. My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I could feel hers against my chest doing the same. When I finally responded to her kiss she sighed, her breath mixing with mine as I parted my lips to allow her access. I nearly lost it right there. She tasted as sweet as she smelled and I didn't want to stop kissing or sucking or biting her until her taste became a permanent flavor in my mouth.

I had officially lost control. I couldn't stop this if I wanted to--and there was definitely no want to stop now. I squeezed my arm under her placing my hand on the small of her back and I pulled her tighter to me. I had a sudden thought of squishing us together like paydoh and I chuckled at the idea as we pulled apart to breathe. She buried her face in my neck and began to pepper it with kisses her chest heaving with the lack of oxygen.

"What?" she asked my neck.

"Nothing," I whispered back, suddenly feeling very drunk. She was intoxicating. She fisted her hand in my hair and I groaned with pleasure as she brought her lips back to mine.

_Don't let this ever stop_, I begged internally. _Ever. _But somebody out there decided I had had enough pleasure for one day and now was the time to end it.

Bella placed her hands under my shirt, reaching up my back, clawing at me to get closer to her. I wanted to so badly that I pressed myself into her giving her what she wanted, silently letting her know how much I wanted her. It was wrong to do that to her, but I couldn't help it she was driving me crazy; I wanted her so badly. But then she removed her hands from my body and started to unbutton my shirt, pulling it out from my pants. And that's where I drew the line; she was too drunk for that.

"Bella stop," I said grabbing her hands in mine as I hopped off her.

…

* * *

**This is a song my lovely Beta decided to sing to me. It cracks me up.**

**"I'm going to sing you a song I wrote about bumble bee! It's called I love bumble bee camaro (sang to the tune of bumble bee tune!)"**

**I love bumble bee bumble bee, camaro**

**I love bumble bee bumble bee, camaro**

**I love bumble bee bumble bee, camaro**

**Because he's big and Yellow!"**

...

**LMAO.**

**Anyways Please Review :) I love each and everyone one of them they are great!. They put a smile on my dial. But less than 5% of you are reviewing...so please review - it keeps me writing and I like to know what you think.  
**

**Tell me your favorite bit! and as a reward you will get a sneak peek of the next chap that wont be up till later this week.  
**

…


	27. Morning Revelations

**AN – okay so seriously big thanks for those that reviewed, I hope I didn't miss anyone with the sneak preview I sent out…if I did I'm sorry :( Please forgive me. Anyhoo I'm going to continue with the sneak peeks so remember to review at the end of the chapter. ;) Next update will be on Tuesday. **

**Big thanks goes out to my beta Angel cos she's wicked cool – check out her stories on my fav list, and my girls TCL and VPJ you three rock America. **

**Oh – and I don't own anything Twi related, but I really wish I did, I only own this plot.**

**...**

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27. Morning Revelations

…

BPOV

…

God I hate these moments, we all have them. You know the ones, the times you wake up with a dry mouth and a splitting headache while you keep trying to remember what you did the night before. _Like right now_. I'm too afraid to open my eyes or to even think, because there is something nagging me, telling me that if I remember I might not actually want to wake up.

Yea you got me; I know I did something stupid, probably more than one thing. That's what my body is trying to tell me. You don't get this smashed and not do something regrettable – well not with my luck anyway. The room is still spinning, well my head is anyway. I'm still afraid to open my eyes. But it feels like I'm on a boat or in a water bed or something – maybe I'm still a tad drunk.

I hate drinking, why _do_ I drink? I don't even understand. Yea it's fun at the time, but so is go-karting and various other non-substance abusing activities, and is this pain really worth it? If only I could remember what I did last night, then maybe I could justify my brain exploding out of my head, or my throat being on fire.

Maybe I'm lost in a desert somewhere and I haven't had water for days….that would explain several things – like why my head hurts this much, why I'm so thirsty, and possibly my lack of comprehensiveness and memory. But a desert would be full of sand and rocky objects, it couldn't explain the comfort I felt underneath me, or the blankets and pillows I was lying on.

Nope can't blame this one on getting lost in a desert, this was my own doing. I was hung-over as fuck.

_Ahhh,_ I screamed internally. _I want to die._

Now to figure out where I am without opening my eyes, I want to know beforehand so I don't freak out or something. I know I'm not in my own bed, because the pillow doesn't smell like me…and I remembered telling Edward I didn't want to go home…_Oh Fuck!_

_Fuck.  
Fuck.  
Fuck._

I was at Edward's place and now, every stupid thing I had done the night before was coming back to me and fast. I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying to press it all out of my mind. My head was going to explode and I was going to be sick, my stomach was churning something massive.

_Oh god._

_I kissed Edward Cullen._

_No you threw yourself at him and he rejected you…_

…_and then I cried._

_Oh my-fucking-god. _

Everything my mind had fought so hard to mentally block from me, all the embarrassment and hurt it was trying to hide behind another one of my infamous 'forget about it Bella' walls, was all coming into focus now and I could remember what had happened as clearly as if it were only moments ago.

***

"_Bella stop," he said, grabbing both of my hands in his as he hopped off me. _

"_Don't," I begged. "Please don't stop, I don't want to stop." _

"_Bella we have to," he argued, staring me in the eye with his emerald orbs. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavily. We both were._

"_Why?" I asked incredulously, I'm pretty sure he was kissing me as hard as I was kissing him. It seemed like he liked what we were doing, hell I did…why would he want to stop?_

"_Because you don't want this," he answered. I didn't understand what the hell he was trying to get at, I was the one who just initiated the kiss. If anyone was to be confused about who wanted what, it should be me, he was the one who stopped us. _

"_Yes I do Edward," I growled, pouting as I ripped my hands from his._

"_You're drunk Bella, you don't know what you want," he reasoned still staring at me. Momentarily in my drunken haze my eyes travelled to his still wet swollen lips and I lost all thought and reason as I tried to argue back._

"_Yes I do…this is what I want…" I mumbled, still staring at those lips, those oh so perfect lips._

"_It's not what you'll want tomorrow," he continued to reason._

"_Of course it is." I was arguing like a child and I could feel my chin sticking out in typical stubborn Bella fashion. _

"_And how do you know that?" he asked mockingly, crossing his arms over his chest._

"_Because it's what I've wanted since the first moment I met you – even while I was with James, I just didn't know it then. But I know it now," I admitted. _

_He shook his head slowly, closing his eyes. It seemed as if he was losing focus, maybe I was winning the argument. He opened his mouth to say something but shook his head and decided to take another route. _

"_We can't Bella, not like this," he breathed._

"_Don't you want to?" I asked quietly, tears stinging the back of my eyes. His eyes snapped open and he glared at me, before his expression softened._

"_More than anything. More than you know," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear. _

"_Then what's the problem?" I scoffed, as I began to undo the buttons on my top. I was trying to seduce him – my drunk self apparently thought it was a good idea._

"_Jesus-Bella," he moaned, taking my hands in his quickly. "You're too drunk."_

"_So are you," I argued, pulling my hands from his I began to undo my buttons again._

"_Bella, can you please stop trying to take off your clothes and listen," he growled playfully, pulling me into his chest in an effort to cover my exposed skin. My hands were trapped between our bodies, but I could feel the buttons on his shirt instead and with a smile I slowly began to undo them. He sighed in my ear and I took it as a sign to keep going, but as I made my way to the next button he stood up very quickly putting a large amount of distance between us. _

"_What?" I asked in shock as I fell back against the couch. _

"_We c- can't," he choked out, quickly redoing his buttons_

"_You've already said that," I pointed out, annoyed. He sighed heavily._

"_We can't do this because, we're both drunk and you don't know how you will feel in the morning. You already turned me down the once Bella," he pointed out, readjusting his top._

"_But that was a mistake," I moaned, was that moment going to forever haunt me?_

"_I'm sorry," he whispered. "I care about you, I really do and I hope that you feel the same way. I want to do this Bella, I really do. I want to make out with you all night long. But I won't take advantage of you; I'm not that type of guy." _

"_I know you're not Edward. That's why I like you, that's why I want to do this with you," I whined._

_He shook his head vigorously. "I'm not having sex with you while you're drunk."_

"_Sex?" I whispered, feeling my face warm quickly, I looked down at my exposed chest and drew my hands to my shirt and wrapped it around me, realizing what I must have looked like. "That's not what –"_

"_You weren't trying to have s-"_

"_No!" I almost shouted. "Oh god, this is so embarrassing." I pushed my face into the sofa and begged it to swallow me whole. "You must think I'm such a slut," my voice was muffled as I cried into the cushions. _

"_Never Bella. I would never think about you that way," he said seriously._

"_But you just admitted you thought I was propositioning you," I argued._

"_You __were__ taking off your clothes," he explained._

"_I'm such an idiot," I muttered, shaking my head._

"_No you're not Bella," he chuckled._

_Then out of nowhere, I started to cry, like a stupid drunk teenage girl. I cried._

"_Shit Bella, I'm sorry I didn't mean to –"he panicked, taking a seat next to me. Hesitantly he wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into his chest for the umpteenth time – not that I minded. _

"_It's not your fault," I laughed out between sobs. "I don't know why I'm crying. Now you're going to think I'm crazy and a slut."_

"_I don't think that at all," he said quietly in my ear._

"_I don't usually do things like this; I mean I've never done anything like this," I moaned._

"_Made out with a guy after getting totally plastered?" he laughed softly, trying to comfort me._

"_Don't forget the getting rejected part," I mumbled._

"_I didn't reject you Bella," he countered._

"_Y-yes you did," I choked out._

"_No. I __want__ you Bella; you have no idea how much. It drives me crazy, __you__ drive me crazy. Especially when you put me into situations like this, where I have to fight my self-control. But I just won't be selfish and take advantage of you while you're intoxicated." He was talking, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was still horrified at what he thought I had been trying to do._

"_I've never had sex either," I whispered._

"_O-oh." It was his turn to choke on his words._

"_With anybody I mean, not just the whole get drunk and have sex with a guy thing. I've never had sex, period," I continued to ramble, telling him things that I didn't want him to know._

"_So you're a v-" he started but I interrupted._

"_A virgin, yes," I finished for him._

"_Makes two of us," he said in a matter-of-fact tone._

"_Really?" I asked astonished, It was rare to find a boy his age that was a virgin, especially someone of his caliber. Someone as sexy and sweet._

"_U-huh, don't tell anyone though," he chuckled into my hair. "I'll get too much shit."_

"_Why haven't you? You know...." I couldn't understand his revelation._

"_Had sex?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Well why haven't __you__?" he asked. _

"_I asked __you __first," I huffed, fiddling with the end of his collar._

"_Well it may be the same reason you haven't," he argued._

"_Waiting for the right person?" That was my reason. Sex wasn't something I took lightly, it was something I wanted to share with the person I, truly with all my heart, loved; someone I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I trusted._

"_That's the one," he replied._

"_Oh," I said quietly. _

_For a while there was only silence before Edward spoke up._

"_So, James wasn't the one?" he said into my hair._

"_Not even close," I said sourly. _

"_Interesting,"he pulled back from me and quirked an eyebrow._

"_What?" _

"_Nothing, it doesn't matter." He smiled shaking his head. I yawned involuntarily and then smiled sheepishly, pressing my face into his chest. _

"_Maybe we should be getting some sleep?" he suggested. _

"_Yeah," I muttered. I didn't really want to sleep, there were other things I wanted to do, but Edward wasn't interested, so sleep was all I had. _

"_Are you sure you don't want my bed? I changed the sheets this morning, so it's clean," he offered._

"_No, I'm okay, that's your bed, and I'm fine with the couch." I leaned out of his arms and patted the cushion under me smiling at him reassuringly._

"_K, well I'm going to go to the bathroom you want anything?" He gave me his trademark crooked grin and my heart skipped a beat._

_Besides you?__ I thought sullenly. But I shook my head. _

"_Naw, I'm fine," I replied, snuggling down into the covers and before I even knew it, I was drifting off and asleep before Edward returned._

_***_

That little trip down memory lane had me begging even more for a death wish. I can't believe what an idiot I was. What I did was beyond mortifying. Poor Edward, he is probably hiding somewhere from me at this very moment. 'Crazy, slutty Bella' he must be thinking.

_Time to get up I guess_. The sooner I'm out of here, the better it will probably be for the both of us.

But something smelled amazing. I rolled over and remembered that the very act should have sent me to the floor. Confused I opened my eyes and realized I was in a bed – _his_ bed, when I should have still been on the couch.

_What the fuck?_

I quickly jumped out of the bed horrified. "How did I get here?" I whispered to myself.

"I moved you last night; I slept on the c...." I whipped around to face Edward and noticed he was fully dressed carrying a tray which was topped with juice, eggs, bacon and toast. I started to drool, but then I noticed his hands were holding the tray rather tightly and he was staring at my waist. I looked down and realized my top had ridden half way up my stomach which was covered in large bruises in various stages of yellowing. Yanking down my top I focused on trying to mend the situation.

"Smells delicious," I teased, hopping back onto the bed and covering my skin with his blankets. His expression softened but I hadn't entirely fixed my mistake.

"Breakfast for the guest?" His voice wavered as he walked over and sat the tray down on the oak bedside table.

"Yes, please!" I kept the playful tone but when I met his eyes then they were full of great sadness. I wasn't doing a good enough job.

"I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have --" he started, shaking his head.

"Don't apologize I practically threw myself at you," I muttered, avoiding his gaze. This was beyond embarrassing.

"Bella," he shook his head." I could have stopped you if I wanted to, but I didn't, and I should have."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't."

His head shot up. "Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"But I hurt you," he said nodding toward my waist

"You didn't do that Edward," I pointed out.

"I know I didn't cause the bruises, but it still hurt when I man-handled you…"

"Yes, it hurt but that's not your fault. I'm glad you did, I liked it, well the tickling part not the pain. I'm not masochistic," I added quickly.

"Really?"

"Of course, _yes_ I was drunk and urgh I made a fool of myself. But I _did_ want you, I _still _want you."

"I would never say no to _you_ Bella," he gave me an intense look and my heart responded by beating twice as fast.

"You did last night," I reminded him. He shook his head.

"No, I said stop," he said, shaking his head slowly.

"Same difference," I muttered.

"No, it's not Bella. You were drunk and I didn't want to take advantage of you."

"I wish you had," I mumbled. He stared at me blankly for a moment, shocked at my brazenness and then grinned a shit eating grin.

"Are you still drunk?" he asked laughing. For a moment the pain in his eyes was gone.

"No," I growled, not in the mood to be teased.

"May I?" he asked as he motioned to the bed.

"Sure... It is your bed." He smiled at that and took a seat next to me, but the pain and sadness in his face had returned.

"Bella, I..." he started but thought better of it and fell silent. My stomach lurched; I didn't want to have this conversation, not with him, not with anyone. It was bad enough with Carlisle.

"Is the food a tease or can we actually have some?" I continued at my failing quest. It seemed to work for the moment though because he reached over and grabbed me a plate. We ate in silence for the next while; only the sound of fork meeting plate could be heard.

"Wow, you're a really good cook!" I exclaimed, licking my lips in an exaggerated fashion. He smiled and took my plate from my hand before placing it back on the tray and turning back to face me. But he didn't meet my gaze; instead he looked at my hands as I played with the end of his quilt.

"Bella..."

"Please don't..." I interrupted

"Bella, who did that to you?" he continued, ignoring my request.

"What?" I tried to act dumb. He wasn't impressed.

"Don't, Bella."

"I fell?" This made him mad.

"ON WHAT?"

"I don't want to talk about this," I whispered.

"Well I do," he said quietly, grabbing my hands in one of his. With the other he reached over and pulled aside the quilt before reaching for my top, sensing what he was about to do, I ripped my hands from his.

"Don't touch me!" I seethed. He immediately backed off raising his hands in the air, trying to show me he meant no harm. I got up to leave, grabbing my clothes and shoes from the floor, I didn't even know when or how I managed to be wearing a pair of his Transformers boxers over my own underwear.

"You don't deserve to be treated that way. He doesn't have the right to hurt you like this. You haven't done anything to deserve it," his voice croaked as he spoke.

I shook my angrily. "You don't know me and you don't know what happened. Don't even pretend to understand."

"I know enough to know that you are the smartest, most selfless and beautiful girl I have ever met," he said quietly, I looked at him doubtfully. He had to be kidding we hardly knew one another. Sensing my doubt he added. "Regardless Bella, no girl deserves that." He looked pointedly at my waist.

"I have to leave Edward, just let me go. I need to get home. Thanks for letting me crash." I turned to the door and was halfway to it when he called after me.

"Did James know?" I whipped around confusion clear on my face.

"No!? Wait, what?" I didn't understand his question

He looked at me before confusion flashed in his eyes. "It was Charlie that hurt you... wasn't it?"

I felt winded, like _he_ had just hit me, how could he think that? "Charlie would never hit me!"

"It's just that last night, you said you had had a fight with Charlie... I just assumed."

"You assumed wrong. Charlie would never do this, he loves me. If he ever knew...." I shook my head at the thought of what Charlie would do if he found out. "Yes we fought last night, but it was about Jake."

"Jake?"

"Long story, he is...well _was _my best friend. We sort of had a falling out and Charlie doesn't understand why," I semi-explained, no need to get into detail about how he had kissed me. How he had taken advantage of our friendship.

"James?"

I shook my head, _no not this time_, I thought to myself. Edward had made his way over to me, coming to stand in front of me. He took the clothes out of my hands and placed them on his bed before turning to me and taking my hands in his.

"Jake has nothing to do with those bruises?" he asked quietly.

"No, he didn't hit me and he doesn't know either," I said softly, I wanted to leave, to get out of his room before he learned everything about me. I didn't want his opinions of me to change and that was bound to happen if he learned the truth. I was broken and used. I wasn't good enough for him.

"So you admit that someone hit you?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. I stayed quiet not wanting to answer his question. Edward looked at me intently, his eyes searching my face.

"Who Bella?" he asked gently. I tried to look at the ground to avoid his searching gaze but he lifted my chin and ducked his head so I couldn't avoid it.

"James?" he whispered. I swallowed loudly and closed my eyes, I wasn't able to keep a straight face and Edward saw through me straight away.

"James did this to you," he said quietly, dropping my chin and taking a step backward. Shock was written across his expression. I thought the culprit had been clear. I nodded slowly, scared of verbally admitting to him what had happened, I was scared of his reaction.

"Th-that asshole put his hands on you?" he asked again. "H-he hit you?" Edward was shaking violently and his knuckles turned white as his hands clenched into fists. I had already answered his question so I just stood there stupidly, looking at him.

Edward stared at me for what felt like an eternity his expression unreadable. I swallowed loudly and took a step towards him trying to gauge his reaction, immediately he took a step back.

"Edward?" I asked quietly, reaching out to him with my hand. _Please don't hate me_, I thought internally. His eyes closed as I spoke and he twisted his body out of my reach. I dropped my hand immediately and felt the color drain from my face. _I'm going to be sick._

I was suddenly feeling unstable, and my body was shaking with nerves. I just wanted to wake up so badly. _Let this be a dream,_ I begged.

"Edward?" I asked again. "Please say something." I was desperate now, I had to know what he was thinking. But he wouldn't answer me and now he wasn't even looking at me. I had almost given up hope and had turned around to pick up my things again to leave when he spoke quietly.

"I-am-going-to-kill-him," he said slowly, each word pronounced, his voice strangled. His words shocked me and he still wouldn't look at me which caused my stomach to twist. I was scared.

"E-Edward, n-no," I stuttered. He turned to face me slowly his face bunched up and red with anger, it was like he wasn't really looking at me. I took a step backward, startled at his expression. He looked at me with disgust, and it was painful to see. I closed my eyes quickly, drawing in a deep ragged breath and a traitorous tear slid down my cheek.

_He hates me._

"I have to go," he said suddenly causing my eyes to snap back open. He grabbed his keys from beside his bed turning to face me his expression becoming smooth and mechanical.

"Where?" I asked softly, too afraid to speak.

"I have something I have to do," he muttered, taking a step towards his bedroom door. "Someone to take care of."

"E-Edward," I stuttered. "You can't…you can't do anything," I gasped in horror, digging my fingers into his arm. I ignored him when he protested that I was hurting him.

"Bella, let go," he said calmly.

"Edward no, you can't go after him, I won't allow it," I begged, I was starting to panic.

"You're worried about me hurting _him_…after what he did to you?" he asked incredulously throwing his hands up in the air, anger laced his words.

"No." I shook my head, swallowing loudly. "I'm worried about _you_ getting hurt." I couldn't handle him getting hurt because of me. He scoffed at my words.

"Bella, I'm not going to let him lay a finger on me. But he deserves what's coming to him you have to understand that." He spoke coldly and I couldn't help the involuntary shiver that ran up my spine. I had never thought of Edward as scary before, but his expression was terrifying.

"No," I begged. "Please don't; please promise me you won't do anything. You can't Edward, you just can't." I didn't want to tell him that I didn't think that he could handle James, but I truly didn't.

I had seen James get into enough fights to know that he was a force to be reckoned with. Usually the fights couldn't be broken up fast enough, and the guy would have to be carried, or at least helped in some way, off the field. I had no doubt that Edward was strong, his sculpted muscles said at least that much, but I knew James and he was feral when he fought. I hadn't seen anyone that had been able to walk away from him coming better off.

"Bella, I can handle myself," he said seeing right through me. "You don't have to worry."

My chest was heaving, I was starting to hyperventilate. I couldn't let him go. My hands were shaking as more tears were rapidly making their way down my cheeks. I felt instantly dizzy and the room had begun to spin.

_It's too bright in here, _I thought to myself as I shook my head in an effort to clear my vision. _  
_

I was about to beg him not to go again as he made his way back to his door, but I couldn't contain the tears any longer and as I opened my mouth an audible sob escaped my throat, the tears and the bright light blurring my vision as I tried to go after him.

_Too bright. _I cried out again as another heavy sob raked my body. _  
_

Edward quickly turned at the sound of my cry and rushed to my side catching me as my legs gave out from beneath me and I collapsed to the floor.

…

* * *

...

**AN - Remember to REview for your pREview. ;)**

**FYI I'm going to change the rating of this story to M soon for chapters coming up.**


	28. The Blame Game

**AN: Big thanks to Tiff and D for fixing up this chapter. And for everyone who review! Hope you got your previews. Those who leave anonymous reviews I'm sorry I can't send them to you, but you could PM me and I could email them to you. :) **

…

28. The Blame Game

…

EPOV.

…

"Carlisle!"

"Bella, you need to calm down, you have to slow your breathing," I pleaded. Bella was having a full blown panic attack and I couldn't get her to relax. Her body was shaking and her eyes were closed, but she was clawing at her chest as it moved in and out rapidly.

"CARLISLE!" I called out again, louder.

_Fuck, where the hell is he?_

When she collapsed I managed to get her to the couch, but now I was sitting nervously and useless beside her as she fought to control her breathing. I was hopeless and scared. I needed my father.

"Bella, I need to go get Carlisle." But as I tried to get up from my position, she grabbed onto my arm and shook her head, her chest still heaving up and down.

"D-don't," she uttered through her quick short breaths.

"Bella, please, you need help." Again she shook her head.

"I'm g-going to be sick," she mumbled between breaths. She bent over slowly and tried to stand, but fell backwards. Reacting quickly, I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her to her feet, half carrying her, half dragging her toward my bathroom.

We made it just in time as she fell toward the toilet. I pulled back her hair and rubbed her back as her breathing slowed in time for her to spill her contents. After she had finished and her breathing had returned to normal, she rested her head on the side of the toilet and closed her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" I asked quietly. She groaned and turned to face me, a wry smile on her lips.

"Embarrassed and disgusting," she said softly, still not opening her eyes.

"Here, let me help you." I bent down and picked her up in my arms, carried her over to the couch and placed her on the bedding I had slept on. "I'll be right back."

"Don't go," she almost shouted in panic, sitting up quickly to grab my arm.

"I'm just going to get you something to rinse your mouth," I added with a slight smile. Reluctantly, she let go of my arm and I hurried to the bathroom to get her some mouth wash and a face cloth. When I returned, allowing her to rinse and wipe her face, I asked how she was feeling again.

"It feels like a hedgehog and porcupine are doing battle in front of a strobe light behind my eyes," she moaned. I chuckled at the thought and sat down beside her, putting the cup of mouthwash on the floor.

"A porcupine and a hedgehog?" I asked .

"Mhmmm." She nodded slowly and opened her eyes to squint at me.

"That's some hangover," I commented, brushing the wet cloth across her face.

"The best," she mumbled sarcastically, closing her eyes again at my touch.

We sat in silence for a while, her breathing normally, lying on the couch with her eyes closed; while I watched her like a love sick fool. Even after being sick, she still looked beautiful, regardless of her hair being in dire need of a brush and her makeup running from her tears. I smiled as her lips parted with each breath she took. She looked so vulnerable.

In the silence, my mind started wandering back to the moments before he said panic attack and what had been revealed. My muscles began to tighten at the thought and the tension became too much and I had to talk to her, I had to ask her.

"How many?"

"How many what?" she mumbled tiredly.

"Times did he touch you?"

She sighed heavily before replying.

"A few."

"How many is a few?" I asked, anger entering my tone as it got the better of me.

"Three," she said very quietly.

I could feel the anger building; my body began to shake as I clenched the facecloth tightly in my hand. Excess water trickled down my hand and dropped onto her face and she opened her eyes to look at me, her expression becoming alarmed as she looked at me.

"Edward?" she spoke softly, her hand now resting on mine. "Let's not -"

"What did he do to you?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm not…I don't want to…"

"Did he leave those marks on your neck?" I spoke evenly, but I was shaking. I was afraid of her answer, even though I already knew. I knew she had been lying in Biology, I had seen it in her eyes.

She lay there in silence, closing her eyes again. At first, when I spoke her breathing hitched, but it had returned to normal when she decided to answer me. Her voice was mechanical and detached, her expression black when she opened her eyes.

"The first time," she started, swallowing loudly, and looking over my shoulder as she spoke. "The first time, we were in his car and we were arguing about something." Her eyes flickered to me and then went back to looking over my shoulder. "I said something I shouldn't have and he slapped me."

When she spoke, I felt every part of body telling me to smash something. The anger had my muscles wound so tight I thought I was going to scream. He actually had her believing it was her fault, that something like that was _ever_ forgivable. But I couldn't risk Bella having another panic attack, so I closed my eyes tightly to work on my breathing.

"Bella," I began, once I felt controlled enough to speak. "There's nothing you could have said to-"

"I was shocked, but I forgave him," she continued, interrupting me. "I kept telling myself it was a heat of the moment thing, that he didn't mean it and then he begged me to forgive him and I did. The next time…he left those marks on my neck. We had been arguing about Laurent and he just lost control. I didn't even know who he was, I didn't recognize him," she gave me a grave look. "I'm sorry, Edward, you were right, I lied to you, I lied to everyone –"

I shook my head and shushed her, taking her hands in mine. "It's okay," I mumbled quietly. I was too afraid to say anymore, afraid the anger and pain I was feeling would betray me and ultimately I would upset her more.

_Your first priority is her,_ I told myself. _Make her feel safe, you can deal with him later. _

Tears were silently making their way down her cheeks and she pulled her hand from mine to wipe them away. "Jess is gone," she muttered. "Laurent made her leave, and I was so mad that I went after him. I didn't even think."

Her words were making things worse; it shocked me to know she actually went after Laurent, someone who had raped her friend. I was almost going to give her a tongue lashing for being so careless, when she spoke again.

"These bruises," she said softly lifting up her top to show me, instantly I felt my stomach churn and I had to turn away from her as I felt my face redden and contort with anger and disgust. "They're not all his doing." I turned back to face her confused; did someone else hurt her too?

"I _did_ fall," she explained. "That's what some of these are."

"And the others?" I asked, my voice barely breaking a whisper. She closed her eyes and immediately I was afraid of the answer, I knew I didn't want to hear.

"He kicked me."

My reaction to her words was instant and regrettable. I didn't have a chance to think or control myself. I jumped back from my seat next to her on the couch and slammed my fist into the wall –repeatedly, leaving a nice hole when I was done. Once my hand was too sore to keep hitting the wall, I slammed my forehead into it, squeezing my eyes shut before I turned around to face Bella, who had been quiet throughout my flip out.

I opened my eyes slowly to see she was sitting upright on the couch and she was trembling, her hands fisted in the blankets. Her eyes were wide and wet. She opened her mouth to speak, but a strangled cry escaped her lips.

_Fuck._

"Jesus, Bella," I apologized, rushing to her side. "Jesus, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she mumbled, wiping her face on the back of her hand; she was holding her breath, trying not to cry.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm sorry." I tried to lean in, to wrap my arms around her, but she turned away, leaning out of my grasp.

"Um, I should probably get going," she muttered, not looking at me.

"Bella, _please_," I begged.

_Don't go. _

"Stay," I mumbled as she got up off the couch to collect her things. She shook her head slowly.

"I can't."

"I'm sorry I reacted that way, I just–" I began, but she interrupted me.

"It's okay. You're forgiven, Edward. I have to go."

"But we should really let Carlisle have a look at those bruises; you could have a fractured rib or something," I pleaded. Those bruises were nasty.

"He already has."

_What?!_

_  
_She sighed heavily at my confused expression. "Charlie took me to the hospital the night it happened. It's only bruising."

"Oh." Was all I could manage to get out. My father had seen those bruises? Any person with half a brain would know they weren't all caused by a fall. He had to know. My anger was returning at the thought, but I had to remain calm in front of Bella. I couldn't afford to upset her again, or scare her for that matter.

"So my father knows?" I asked quietly. She nodded solemnly.

"Besides you, he's the only one."

"Oh."

_I could kill him._

….

BPOV

….

"I have to go, Charlie will be wondering where I am." I turned to leave again.

"Bella," he called. He held out his hand, pleading with me to stay. I just continued to look at him.

"I can't, Edward." He sighed heavily and gave me a tortured expression.

"Promise me I'll see you again," he begged.

"Edward, I just broke up with James, it wouldn't –"

"He hit you!" The words slashed at my insides. It was true, but James had loved me. Well that is what I used to believe. Now, I was so unsure of myself and what was happening. My world felt like it was slipping into darkness. But I couldn't act like he had never meant anything to me; I wasn't like that.

"He didn't use to...." I tried to find excuses, but Edward wasn't buying it.

"I'm sorry, but he doesn't deserve you. You deserve happiness, not some lowlife who doesn't realize what he has. You deserve better!" He looked at me, his eyes dark. I couldn't explain it, but he had some kind of hold on me, I felt a pull towards him. I shook my head, but not as a response to what he just said only to try and clear it. I was losing my grip on the situation and I was so precariously close to breaking down again. I was exhausted and I needed to get out of there. But I need to make sure Edward wouldn't do anything to put himself in danger.

"Edward, please promise me you won't go after him," I begged. My expression was serious, but I was nervous and scared as well. I couldn't have him doing something stupid, I couldn't have him hurt.

He shook his head. "I can't promise that, Bella."

"You have to, Edward. Please for me. Please promise me you won't do anything stupid. _For me_."

He sighed. "Why?"

"Because he's not worth it and I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you. Please, just promise me you won't." I took a step toward him and cupped his face with my hand, turning it until his eyes met mine. _"Please."_

He sighed, his shoulders slumping forward. "I promise," he whispered.

I smiled at him weakly. "Thank you."

He gave me a hurt look, but nodded. "I'd do anything for you, Bella," he sighed. I felt my heart pull unexpectedly in my chest and I felt my face warm.

"Thank you," I said again giving him a small but genuine smile.

"Can I give you a ride home?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "It's not far, I need the fresh air," I said picking up the rest of my things.

"I insist," he argued.

"I don't think that's wise. I don't want Charlie thinking I spent the night with you."

He nodded, but didn't say anything, his shoulders slumping forward in defeat.

"I'll see you tomorrow in Biology....I promise." I added the last bit after he looked at me with a look that suggested he didn't quite believe that I would be at school tomorrow. I left before he could say anything else. Once outside his room, I headed for the bathroom and quickly changed, not bothering to take off his boxers and then I slipped out the front door before anyone noticed me.

Once I made it home, I bumped into Charlie, who apologized for the night before. I told him I had stayed at Rose's and he seemed to buy it. I climbed the stairs to my room, quietly closing the door behind me. I dropped my bag and then leaned against the wall, smacking my head into it.

I was so overwhelmed with what had just happened with Edward, I started to hyperventilate, almost bringing on another panic attack.

_Why had I let him get so much from me?_

I sunk against the wall and slid down it. It was a while before I realized I was crying, I wrapped my arms around my legs and rocked back and forth.

I was stupid for telling him, for involving him in my mess. It was stupid. I was a mess; I had a friend who self mutilated, an abusive ex and a best friend who didn't know boundaries. I wasn't good enough for Edward and now I was risking him getting hurt, just because I felt attracted to him.

No it was more than that, more than mere attraction-he was a drug and I was addicted.

But regardless, I couldn't let him get close to me. I had created a bigger mess just by giving into my urges last night. For his own good, I had to push Edward Cullen away, even if I or it tore out my heart in the process. I wouldn't let him get hurt because of me.

…

EPOV

…

When she left, I picked the plates and everything up off the bedside table and threw it against the wall opposite me, watching as the broken and shattered pieces fell to the floor. I felt like screaming, like smashing everything I could lay my hands on, but none of it would be the same as closing my hands around_ his_ throat, watching _him_ suffer just as he had made her. But I couldn't, she wouldn't let me, and a small part of me hated her for that.

No, I could never hate her.

I put my head in my hands and tugged hard at my hair, willing the images of Bella's broken body to leave my mind.

And then I did the only thing I could do, once she left me reeling in the knowledge that someone had intentionally hurt her. I took it out on someone else.

Carlisle was in his study when I found him, writing on his paper, some medical thing, his eyes darted to meet mine quickly, before going back to the paper, as I entered the room.

"Edward," he said quietly, absorbed in his work. "What can I do for -"

"You did nothing, you knew and you did nothing!" I accused, interrupting as I stormed towards him, my body was shaking in pure rage, rage towards my father, and the rage I felt toward that asshole who had done the harm.

Carlisle lifted his head to meet my gaze calmly. "Edward, I'm not exactly sure I know what you're talking about."

"She's just a girl, and she was hurt. He hurt her and you did nothing," I growled. My chest was heaving and I couldn't think straight enough to give him a proper explanation.

"Edward…" Carlisle started, suddenly sensing the extreme anger rolling off me in waves. "I'm not sure I understand…"

"She stayed here last night…with me….and I saw…." I closed my eyes tightly, as the images of her soft skin covered with large grotesque black-blue and yellowing bruises entered my mind. And I blanched, some of my rage dissipating as it turned into horror and disgust. I could feel my throat begin to ache and my eyes were burning with the expectation of tears. I shook my head, trying to hold it together, to remember why I was here.

"Who is _she_?" my father asked, taking a step around his desk, as he tried to put a calming arm around me. But the images of Bella's hurt were too fresh in my mind, the sorrow quickly turning to anger again and I lashed out, grabbing him by the collar, my face an inch from his.

"Bella," I spat, my face contorted with anger. Instantly, Carlisle's face lit with recognition and then quickly turned to one of sorrow and understanding. I let him go, but not before shoving him backward in disgust. He stumbled a small bit, but then stood, staring at me calmly. Bella had said she had seen him, but I didn't want to believe it; his expression however, told me everything, I couldn't fight the rage beginning to overtake me.

"Edward, you need to calm-" he began, but I cut him off by holding up my hand, as I shook my head in anger.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm the fuck down, Dad!"

"Edward, I'll ignore that because you're upset but-" I stared at him with my mouth open, he had to be kidding. If he hadn't have been my father, I may have hit him for being so stupid.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked incredulously.

"We need to talk about this," he continued.

"Talk?!" I screamed, outraged, throwing my arms up in the air. "Talk about what? How you're a coward? How you saw a girl, beaten at the hands of her pathetic boyfriend and you did nothing….is that what you want to talk about?"

"Edward, that's not fair-"

"No, I'll tell you what's not fair! Loving a girl that is with someone else, someone who doesn't treat her the way she deserves. Someone who hurts her makes her feel insignificant when really she's the reason for breathing. And it's not fucking fair that when she finally left him-finally found the courage; she still won't let me in. She won't let me do anything to help her, to protect her, or take care of her; how she should be taken care of. She begged me not to hurt him,_ him _of all people. The fucker who did all that too her, she wants to protect him. That's not fair!"

"Edward, _please_," Carlisle begged. "I know what you're going through, I understand the pain you must feel but—"

"How can you possibly understand?" I asked looking up at him in bewilderment. "How can you know what this feels like? Seeing the one you love hurt, knowing you're meant to protect her…but you can't, because she begged you not to, and you'd do anything for her…anything she asks…." I had my head in my hands now, and I was fighting back the tears stinging my eyes.

Just last night it had been perfect, we had laughed, had fun, and kissed, it had been the best night of my life, then this morning everything came crumbling down. She's always trying to protect others, always trying to put them before herself. She even tried to protect me, by pretending it was nothing when I had tickled her last night. I must have hurt her terribly and at that thought, a small groan escaped my lips. I had hurt her too, I was just like him. It didn't matter if it was unintentional, I didn't want anyone to ever hurt Bella, but I was one of those people who had.

"Son, I know it's hard to understand, but I do know what you're going through and the best thing to do in this situation is to honor her wishes, be there for her, and protect her. But you can't protect her by going after the boy after she asked you not to, it will do more harm than good, Edward," Carlisle spoke quietly.

"But I can't keep that promise. I can't let him continue to breathe the same air as her…I can't let him get away with hurting her…." I was mumbling to myself, not really even taking notice of Carlisle who had come to sit next to me.

"I know it's hard, but you will learn to handle it. She needs someone to trust, Edward, someone who will make her feel safe. She doesn't need another man with fists, showing her how to deal with things," he explained.

"How do you know?" I seethed. Drying my eyes quickly, as I lifted my head to look at him. I saw pity in his eyes and sorrow, deep sorrow, it twisted my insides. "You keep saying you know what this is like, how do you know?"

Carlisle swallowed loudly. "I've been through what you've been through, Son. I know the pain and I promise you it will get better. You will learn how to protect her in a different way, you just can't protect her from something that's already happened; you can only help her heal."

"Who?" I asked in shock. He had never once talked about something like this.

"That's not something I'm willing to share just yet," he spoke quietly. I nodded understandably, not really listening; I had other things on my mind.

"Why didn't you do anything though…when Bella came to you?" I mumbled.

"I couldn't, Edward, I took an oath…."

"To protect," I interrupted. "She needed help…she needed someone to…"

"-to listen, Edward," my father finished the sentence for me. "Someone to talk to. Someone who won't judge her, someone to sit and cry with her, share her pain. She didn't want to turn him in because she doesn't want to keep living through it. She begged me not to say anything…and I couldn't, because she is my patient," he shook his head slowly. "I shouldn't be talking to you now."

"Her father needs to know. He's the Chief," I tried to reason.

"It was her decision, Edward. We have to respect that."

"That's bullshit, Dad, what if he hurts her again? And we did nothing? What if he hurts someone else…what if it was Alice, what if it was her covered in bruises?" My stomach turned at the thought. I wouldn't let him ever hurt my sister, I would kill him and he would never touch Bella again, not if I had anything to do with it.

Suddenly my blood froze and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand, instantly I felt a shiver go up my spine.

"Where's Alice?" I demanded.

"Uh, I think she's still asleep…why, Edward? Is something wrong?" Carlisle was worried now; the look on my face was obviously not a comforting one.

_No_, I thought silently to myself, too afraid to speak out loud. To the best of my knowledge Alice had spent the night with Jasper and right now that didn't sit well with me, for numerous reasons. I hardly knew him; he was friends with James, always defending James to me, telling me I couldn't have Bella, because the bastard who hit her still had some sort of right to her. All I knew was James's other friend, being Laurent was an alleged rapist and right now anybody even remotely associated with James was to be considered dangerous. I wasn't about to sit by and let my sister get hurt.

I stormed out of my father's office and down the hall, barging quickly into Alice's room, not bothering to knock.

"Edward!" Alice shrieked her face turning red as she clutched her covers to her chest, I could tell she was only wearing a bra and underwear, immediately I adverted my gaze.

Jasper was lying on the floor with a pillow under his head and a blanket strewn across his half naked body, I was surprised to see him there instead of in her bed, but the slight confusion didn't hinder my anger.

"Get the fuck up, Hale, and get your ass out of my sister's room!" I growled, ripping the blanket from his body. He sat bolt upright and rubbed his eyes, shock and confusion evident in his expression.

"What the fuck man?" he asked, standing up slowly with his jeans in hand. I was in such a bad mood I was seeing red and I couldn't think straight. I threw my body into him and pressed him against the wall, Alice gasped and out the corner of my eye I could see she was trying quickly to dress herself.

"You will keep the fuck away from Alice, you won't even look at her and if you do, I will have your ass on a platter." I kept my voice low, but there was an edge to it that meant business.

"Get off him Edward," Alice cried. She was behind me now, clawing at my waist in an effort to pull me from Jasper whose face was turning red. "Stop!" she screamed. "You're hurting him!"

….

**AN: **

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**Next update not until Tuesday probably, I have a lot on at the moment but if I can get it to you earlier I will. ;) **

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	29. The Secrets Out

**A/N so here we go guys, finally got my laptop back/slash my files off my laptop since it's still not really working. GAH I HATE COMPUTERS. Anyway so now at least I can write, hope you still enjoy the story…and so sorry it's taken this long to get this to you. Don't worry next update will be around this time next week and then after that I will be able to update 2-3 times a week since I'll be finished with school and stuff. **

**Don't forget to Review and let me know what you think, I love you guys!!! I also love my beta Angelnlove52 she's so awesome go check out her story When Yesterday Hurts…I know you will all love it, also her one shot (WOW) and her other stories…they all rock my universe. **

**Also check my Faves for stories there are some goodies on there. And if you're reading anything awesome at the mo, tell me what! I love to find new stories…PM me or leave it in a review. :)**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFF!!!! – Yea I love you and shit.**

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**Recap:** Bella stayed over at Edwards the night, in the morning Edward accidently caught sight of Bella's bruises and confronted her. Bella explained to Edward what happened and then left. Edward in a state of anger confronted his father and then attacked Jasper in Alice's room.

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29. The Secrets Out.

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EPOV

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"Edward, let him go." I heard my father's calm voice from behind. I hadn't even been aware that he was in the room with us.

Growling, I pulled Jasper's body two inches from the wall before I slammed him into it. I let him go and he slid to the floor rubbing his neck, his face red.

Breathing heavily I turned to glare at my sister. "Lift up your top Alice," I demanded.

"Edward!" Carlisle exclaimed surprised.

Alice backed away from me, her eyes wide with fear and confusion. "What the hell, Edward!?"

"Did he hurt you?"

"What?" Jasper exclaimed, confused. I turned to glare at him, my expression unfathomable.

"You don't get to talk," I spat, pointing at him. I turned back to Alice, her expression equally confused.

"Well?" I asked.

"D-did J-Jasper? N-no," she stuttered.

"So help him if he did Alice." I was still shaking, my chest heaving.

"He hasn't hurt me, what are you…?"

"LIFT UP YOUR GOD DAMN TOP ALICE!"

"No! Not until you tell me what is going on," she squeaked.

"Edward, please," Carlisle tried to intervene. Why he hadn't done something earlier when I was strangling Jasper, I had no idea. Maybe it was the fact that there was a boy in his daughter's room and he felt like doing the same thing. But then Carlisle usually didn't mind when people of the other sex stayed over, he trusted us. It was usually Esme who worried.

Argh, I didn't need to be thinking about this kind of crap.

"DAMN IT!" I yelled, smashing my fist into the wall, I winced my bruised knuckles from earlier didn't like that.

"You need to calm down," Carlisle tried again, taking a step toward me, putting himself between Alice and me. This made me madder; did he think I would hurt my own sister? I would never touch a female regardless of how upset I was. I wasn't like that piece of filth, James.

"Not until she proves to me he hasn't hurt her," I seethed, glaring at Alice from over Carlisle's shoulder.

Carlisle sighed and turned to Alice; he gave her an apologetic look and said. "I think you should do what he asked dear."

"Dad, no." She shook her head. "It's perverted."

"He's not asking you to show him anything Alice, he just wants to make sure you're not hurt in any way, that you don't have any bruises," Carlisle explained. "I'll look away if you want."

"This doesn't make any sense," she moaned before giving in. She quickly lifted up her top and did a mini pirouette before dropping it again. She glared at me and folded her arms across her chest. "Happy?"

I looked at her in disbelief and relief at the same time.

_Thank god._

In a daze I sat down on Alice's bed and put my head in my hands. I was still shaking, but now I felt sick. I bunched my fists around my hair and groaned.

"I think you should go," Carlisle said quietly to Jasper. I looked up at the two of them and winced.

_I fucked up. Bad. _

"No," Jasper said adamantly crossing his arms across his chest. "Not until _he_ calms down," he said giving me a filthy look.

I turned toward him raising an eyebrow. I may have felt bad-like an idiot-and Alice may not have been hurt, but it still didn't mean I trusted him. And I was still mad and his lippy attitude was firing me up again.

"Jasper, it's probably for the best, I'm not going to let anything happen to Alice," Carlisle pleaded.

"No," Jasper shook his head. "Not happening."

"Why? You afraid she might say something while you're not here?" I spat in his direction.

Jasper groaned and rolled his eyes. "What the fuck is your problem Edward? I haven't done anything to warrant being treated like this."

I could feel the anger begin to bubble as a growl escaped my throat, I was about to hit him when Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder instantly calming me. I tried to shrug out of his grasp but his hand clamped down on me.

"Edward, I think now is the best time to explain," Carlisle sighed giving me an apologetic look. "You owe them both that much."

"No," I said shaking my head. "I don't owe him anything."

"Edward," Carlisle scolded me.

"No," I started again. "So, Alice doesn't have any bruises. So what? It doesn't prove a thing."

"Son, I know you're upset," he said, kneeling next to me. I gave him a death glare. "Okay, more than a little upset. But Jasper didn't do those things to Bella and neither did I. You can't go around blaming everyone because you're not allowed to go after the real culprit, that's just not how it works."

He was right, when I came in here I was looking for someone to blame. Hell ten minutes earlier I'd been trying to have a go at my own father. I looked from my father to Jasper and back to my sister, she looked panic stricken and I could see tears threatening to spill.

I sighed and put my head back in my hands. I was an idiot.

"Bella?" Alice whispered in a panicked voice. "Has something happened to Bella?"

I stared at my hands, unable to answer.

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APOV

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I turned and gave my father a confused expression.

_What is going on?_ I mouthed. Adding to my fears Carlisle just gave me a grave look at nodded slowly toward Edward. He wasn't going to give me anything; Carlisle smiled at me and indicated he would be back before he left the room, stopping once to asses Edward and to give Jasper a warning look.

"Edward?" I whispered taking a small step towards him. "Has something happened?" I asked again.

He nodded slowly and grimaced.

"Yeah," he answered in a broken voice. His response startled me and set my mind spinning. Butterflies started flapping uncontrollably in my stomach, I was terrified.

What had possibly happened? Where was Bella now? I knew that she had spent the night with my brother and everything had seemed fine with them when we had left them and when we had spoken on the phone last. Jasper had even seemed fine with them now, after our little talk Jazz decided to ease up on Edward, I mean since they both wanted one another, why get in the way?

So what had happened? What went wrong? I couldn't for the life of me understand what and when something could have happened. The fact that it appeared that Edward's violent reaction earlier had something to do with it made my apprehension worse. Did Jasper have something to do with this?

I looked up at Jasper who was staring at Edward blankly, but when his eyes met mine, I saw he shared my concern and confusion. He seemed as lost as I was.

No, I didn't believe that Jasper would ever do anything to Bella, nothing bad anyway.

I sat down next to Edward on my bed and put my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. I loved my brother and seeing him in this much pain was scaring me. His earlier actions weren't yet entirely forgiven, but I knew it would have taken something massive for Edward to react the way he did and attack Jasper. It wasn't in his nature to act that way. I wanted to understand why he had done what he did, and it appeared Bella, my new, adorable and sweet loving friend had something to do with it.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked, trying to remain calm for my brother in the hopes that it would make it easier for him, but my stomach was churning. And I was close to losing control; I wasn't used to drama, to being the calm one in a situation that was as scary as this.

What had happened to my friend?

Edward sighed deeply and took his hand from mine rubbing it roughly over his face. I searched his expression for something, anything that would tell me what was wrong. But all I could tell was that he needed a shave. Slowly Edward turned to face my searching gaze; he tried to smile weakly but failed so he settled for looking back at his hands, I was getting more and more worried at this point. I nudged him softly trying to encourage him which caused him to swallow loudly before he spoke.

"Bella wasn't attacked but a stranger the other week." He pulled on his hair hard before giving me a desperate and broken look. "She knew who hurt her Alice," he whispered. "She lied to us - to everyone."

_What?!_

I gasped and took a step backward from my brother who staring at me, gauging my reaction. I wasn't watching where I was going as I stepped back and I ended up tripping over my discarded blankets in my haste to get away from his words and fell backwards. I was caught before I hit the floor as a pair of strong and familiar arms wrapped around my waist pulling me upright. I leaned into Jasper's warm and comforting embrace for a moment, using him to hide from the reality that Edward just exposed us to. But then something caused Jaspers hold on me to make me uneasy.

Bella had been hurt by someone she knew.

Edward had attacked Jasper and then asked if he had hurt me.

I turned to face Jasper and his expression only held what seemed to be shock and concern when he looked back at me.

_He couldn't have hurt Bella? Could he? _

My expression became horrified as I pressed my hands into his chest to free myself from his hold.

"Jasper?" I whispered. I was confused and sickened with my realization but I couldn't quite understand what was happening, nor did I want to believe.

The look on his face changed to one of bewilderment as I pulled myself from his grasp.

"Alice?" he asked back, confused and concerned. I turned to look at Edward who had his head back in his hands he seemed oblivious to us, trapped in his own pain. I then turned back to face Jasper and took a deep wavering breath.

"Leave," I spoke firmly, staring him dead in the eye.

"Why?"He looked at me confused before panic flashed across his face. He took a step toward me and reached out for my hand, in response I took a step backward, causing his mouth to drop open.

"A-Alice n-no, you can't believe that I-I hurt her," he stuttered. "You know me."

My heart bounced in my chest as he spoke, the pain and my accusation was evident in his voice and in his expression. I felt a lump grow in my throat constricting my breathing.

"No that's just it Jasper…I don't," I mumbled, not daring to look at him, my firm resolve wavering. I didn't want to cry. I wasn't able to stare at this man that I thought I loved and now believed had attacked my friend and not break down.

I hadn't known Jasper long but I loved him just as my fool of a brother loved Bella, but truthfully I didn't know him that well. And although I didn't want to think so, he could be capable of anything.

"Edward." He turned to my brother who was now just staring blankly at us both. "Tell her it's not true. I didn't do that to Bella. I wouldn't," he begged.

I turned back to my brother who had lifted his head to look between Jasper and me before focusing on my face. I was begging him silently with my eyes, to say it wasn't true.

"Edward?" I whispered.

He blinked slowly as if trying to focus on the situation on hand before he shook his head slowly as if to clear it. He looked at Jasper as he answered. "No, it wasn't Jasper…"

I couldn't help as I blew out an air of relief at his words only to draw it back in suddenly when he continued speaking.

"...it was James," he finished, looking from Jasper to me. "James left those marks on her neck; James was the reason she didn't come to school then and why she didn't come to school the other day."

"J-James?" I stuttered. He nodded, grimacing, and I saw the glint in his eyes that suggested he was having trouble talking about it. I looked at Jasper who was staring at Edward, his expression unreadable.

"Jesus," I let out in a moan, this was too much. I felt tears swimming behind my eyes. James had hurt her? Physically hurt her and left awful bruises on her body and was the reason why she wasn't at school on Friday. I wiped my eyes haphazardly on my shirt and sniffled as I stared at my brother.

Edward gave me a wry smile and patted spot next to him which I took immediately folding my body into his arms. I had always felt safe with my brother. When we were smaller he would often wrap himself around me when I was upset. He was like a cocoon protecting me from the outside world. I pressed my cheek against Edward's chest as the tears fell down my face.

"How did you find out?" I croaked, not sure if I wanted to actually know.

"Accidently," he mumbled. "I saw the bruises on her stomach that he gave her on Thursday…." He was silent for a moment before he whispered almost in-audibly, his body shaking. "He kicked her Ali…he fucking kicked her."

I wrapped my arms around him tightly and squeezed him, trying to reassure him that I was there for him. I wanted to make it better, not just for him but for Bella. But I wasn't sure how. This was craziness. Bella was my friend and her boyfriend was violent towards her and she kept it from us all. She didn't feel she could tell us and that hurt. She needed to know we cared for her, that we would be there for her. All of us.

Jasper hadn't said a word since he begged Edward to tell me it wasn't him so I took a quick look over at him. He was slumped against the wall with his head in his hands. I shifted in Edwards arm so I could get a better look at him and he looked up at my movement.

Jaspers body became rigid as he stared at Edward, realization crossing the features of his face. "Thursday night?" he asked.

"Yeah," Edward responded lightly wrapping his arms tighter around me. In response I gave his a quick squeeze.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered softly into his shirt, but the words were mostly just to comfort myself.

"Fuck," Jasper groaned suddenly, causing us to both whip our heads in his direction. His face was crumpling into mask of horror.

"What?" Edward asked confused, his grip tightened on me and I couldn't tell if it was because he was afraid of what Jasper would say or he was just trying to protect me.

"I left her. He told us he could take care of her, and we left her with him," Jasper spoke quietly, almost as if in shock. I stared at my boyfriend not sure what he was trying to say…he left her?

"We?" Edward reiterated, not fully grasping what Jasper was saying either.

"The party, the other night, she tripped and knocked herself out, we-me and Emmett-carried her to the bathroom and then…James told us he would take her to the hospital. Get her checked out…we just left her."

The sickness that overcame me at Jaspers words was almost unbearable but the look on his face was even more heart wrenching. He was blaming himself for what had happened to Bella.

"You couldn't have known," I piped up, trying to make him feel better. He gave me a grave look before he turned to Edward looking sick with guilt.

"I didn't, I swear Edward. I had no idea. I never would have been against you pursuing her if I had known." Jasper looked at my brother panic stricken. "That's why you went after me isn't it? You thought I knew. You thought that I let it happen."

"You were always defending him; I didn't know what to think. Hell, I wasn't thinking Jasper, I was so blinded by rage that I-"

"Don't apologize Edward, I would have done the same." Jasper breathed deeply before continuing. "I would never hurt your sister, I love her and you have to know that."

"I know," Edward said groaning, putting his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry for attacking you Jasper. Please forgive me." Jasper shook his head in response.

"There's nothing to forgive. I can see how you would have jumped to conclusions. I was an ass about you and Bella. I knew James was hot headed and I didn't want you to start trouble. I'm so stupid," he countered.

Edward shook his head slowly. "It's not your fault. If anything it's mine."

"Edward," I gasped. "Don't say that. Don't you dare blame yourself!"

"No, Ali. It's true. I knew she was lying about what happened to her and stupidly, I let it go." He hung his head in shame but I wasn't having any of that. Edward had a nasty habit of taking the blame for things he had no control over, it was sometimes an endearing part of his selfless personality but sometimes it could really get him down.

"You should be proud that you thought something was up Edward. No one else had any idea. We all let her down," I spoke solemnly and he nodded at my words.

"I'm so sorry," Jasper mumbled incoherently. "I had no idea," he continued, shaking his head. Edward looked up as Jasper's words and stared blankly at him before responding.

"No one did. That's the problem; she didn't want anyone to know. She was ashamed."

I could feel the heat rise in my face at his words. An unfamiliar feeling of anger washed over me. "Ashamed? Why!?" I exploded.

"She blames herself," Edward moaned, pressing his face back into my hair. I tried in vain to swallow my disgust. How could she ever think that? There is no reason for someone to violently attack another person. Nothing could justify what he had done.

"What are we going to do?" Jasper spoke firmly, interrupting my thoughts as he climbed to his feet. The guilt and panic that had been embedded in his features was gone, overridden by anger and a sense of urgency.

"Nothing," Edward spoke softly, avoiding eye contact with Jasper. "Except be there for her."

"What? We have to do something; we can't just let him get away with what he has done. Once Emmett finds out –" Jasper started speaking quickly, almost shouting before he was interrupted by Edward.

"Whoa," Edward said, raising his hands as he stood up abruptly, all but knocking me to the floor. "You can't say anything to anyone. This has to stay between us."

"But-" Jasper tried to interrupt.

"No, I shouldn't have told either of you about this. She would never forgive me." Edward began to look worried and stared at me helplessly.

"But we can't just let…" Jasper tried to continue before Edward cut him off.

"It's what she wants," he added abruptly, almost glaring defiantly at Jasper. I scrambled to get between them incase another fight broke out.

"I won't tell anyone Edward," I spoke softly, putting my hand on his in an effort to calm him down. I gave Jasper a look before I added, "We both won't."

"No," Jasper spoke firmly, shaking his head as he looked at me and then back at Edward before he continued. "You must want to make him pay…surely you want that much?"

"There is nothing I want more, but she made me promise. I can't," Edward added helplessly almost moaning. I felt my brother's pain, he loved her and he couldn't protect her.

"I didn't promise anything," Jasper growled. "You might not have the balls Edward but –"

"Jasper!" I shrieked, glaring at him. I wouldn't allow him to make my brother feel any worse about this than he already did.

"I'm sorry Ali, but I won't let that pig think it's alright to do what he has done. What if he hurts someone else?" He shook his head as if to clear and unhealthy thought. "No, I'm not going to let that happen. Either you're with me or you're not. It won't make a difference," he added, turning towards Edward. Edward stared back but didn't say anything.

"_Jazz_," I pleaded. I wanted more than anything for James to pay, just like the both of them, but I couldn't bear the thought of either of them getting hurt in the process of doing so. And what if it made matters worse? Everything was becoming overwhelming and I felt the tears building up to breaking point behind my eyes.

"No Alice," he said adamantly. "It has to be done."

Edward groaned and sat back down on my bed. I looked at him with concern before I turned back to Jasper; he was already packing his things.

"Jazz?" I said apprehensively, putting my hand on his shoulder. "She doesn't want this. Please don't," I begged.

He turned and sighed, taking me in his arms. All the apprehension and fear was softened as he held me and place a chaste kiss on my forehead. "I love you Ali, but you know I have to do this. It's not only her problem anymore," he said quietly.

I nodded silently at his admission; this affected him personally which was something Edward wasn't aware of. I pressed myself closer to his body, unwilling to let go. "I love you too," I whispered into his shirt, letting him know that I understood.

"You know she's going to think it's me if you do something," Edward said from his place on my bed. He was watching Jasper and I and he had a thoughtful expression. "She won't forgive me."

Jasper groaned and gave Edward an annoyed look. "Dude I'm sorry, but…." He sighed heavily and Edward took the break in his speech to plead with him some more.

"Jazz please, just give me a chance to talk with her. Please don't do anything yet. I don't want to lose her before I even get the chance to be with her." The panic in Edward's voice made me think that he was talking to Jasper as if he was the executioner and Edward was begging for his life.

"I -," Jazz began but I cut him off.

"Please baby. Edward's right. Let him talk to her first," I begged. Jasper sighed again as he looked between Edward and I, his brow furrowing. "You could tell him," I whispered quietly, only loud enough for Jasper to hear. He met my gaze for a brief moment and gave a little shake of his head.

He wasn't ready yet.

"I just couldn't take it if he hurt anyone else. If he hurt Bells again, or you, or Rose," Jasper groaned, rubbing his jaw as he gave his attention back to Edward.

"That's not going to happen," I interjected.

"I won't let him get near any of them Jazz, none of us would let that happen," Edward added, still looking pleadingly at Jasper.

"We wouldn't be able to forgive ourselves Edward…It would be our fault," Jasper warned, giving Edward a piercing look.

"I know, I just…argh," he groaned, tugging at fistfuls of his hair. "I want to smash his face in, I really do. But she begged me not to, I can't break her trust. I won't be another male to do that to her."

Hearing my brother talking about committing a violent act against another person was unnerving. It wasn't really like him at all. But I knew he loved Bella, as crazy as it sounded, just as I loved her as a friend too. And you would do anything to protect the ones you loved.

"Okay," Jasper conceded. "On one condition though," he continued, raising an eyebrow in my brothers direction.

"What?" Edward asked, looking at Jazz suspiciously.

"We tell Rosalie and Emmett, and we all get to talk to Bella."

"No," Edward outright refused, shaking his. "Not happening."

"Edward, would that be so bad?" I asked, turning to give him a warm encouraging smile, even though I felt like a can of worms on the inside. "She needs support, and we are her friends."

"You've known her two weeks Alice," Edward said in a patronizing tone.

"So have you," I pointed out, glaring at him. I didn't know what his problem was. So he told us something he really shouldn't of? He didn't have a choice, Bella would understand that. She needed us, Jess had left, so she only really had Rose and I left as girls she could talk to. She needed her friends. I knew she had that Jacob boy but I didn't really like the look of him. No. She needed her girlfriends and we were going to be there for her.

"But-"

"No buts Edward," I growled. "Jasper is right. We need to talk to her, and Rose and Emmett need to know, they're her friends too. We need to make sure she is okay. She can't keep this to herself Edward, it's not healthy. She needs to know she has us to turn to incase it hap-"

"It won't happen again," Edward growled at me, his expression was dark and almost frightening. If it hadn't belonged to my brother who I knew would never hurt me, I would have been terrified. "I won't allow it."

I sighed. "That's not what I meant. But you can't be there for her all the time Edward, you can't protect her from everything," I argued. "But if we all knew, we could collectively look out for her and make sure she was okay, you can't deny that that makes more sense."

Edward hung his head at my words and Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"She's right Edward," Jasper said.

"I know," Edward mumbled into his hands. "But, can you let me talk to her first? Let me explain why I told you?"

"Yes," I chimed. "We could go talk to Rose and Em, while you do that."

"I don't know if telling Emmett is a good idea just yet guys, you don't know how he will react," Edward said worriedly.

"Oh I have some idea," Jazz started. I did too. If Edward was worried about Jasper doing something to James, he would have a whole lot more of a headache worrying about Emmett. There would be no stopping him; I had no doubt about that, especially after what Jasper had explained to me last night. Emmett would not stand for a man ever causing harm to another women, not that Jazz and Edward were any different, but Emmett had every reason in the book to lose control over this information.

"This is exactly why we can't tell Emmett just yet. Let me talk to Bella, I think it should be her decision," Edward continued to argue, breaking my line of thought.

Eventually, Jasper agreed to let Edward talk to Bella first, and I was happy with that. I didn't want any of my boys going out to 'take care' of James. I didn't want them to be put in any kind of harm's way. What I really wanted to do was talk to Bella, to see if she was okay and to make sure she knew we were there for her. That we cared, and we loved her-that she could talk to us.

Edward was going to try and talk to Bella after school tomorrow, he wanted to give her some space after this morning, but I wasn't keen on the idea. I wanted to make sure that she was okay now. I was worried for her. What if James tried to go around to her house? Charlie didn't know, so who would protect her? I didn't voice these concerns out loud because I didn't want to panic Edward, which I was sure would happen. I made a plan to ring her tonight to see what she was up to, just what any normal friend would do. Surely Edward wouldn't get mad at me if I did that.

It was funny thinking about the short time we had been in Forks and how we had made such strong connections with the people around us. I was in love with Jasper beyond any kind of love I had felt before and I knew that Edward felt something crazy for Bella. I also loved Bella, Rosalie and Emmett and everyone felt like family. I couldn't wait for things between Edward and Bella to develop, and I could only hope that she could get past what had happened to allow him in. I just hoped it would be easy for them because god knows it had been more than difficult enough for them already.

After a few moments of silence, Dad came up with hot drinks for each of us, but I wasn't really in the mood for hot chocolate, I felt sick and decided that I wanted to lie down. Edward said he felt the same and left the room with my father, Jasper came to lay down next to me, rubbing soothing circles on my back, while telling me everything would be alright and he would fix things.

I cried silently while he tried to comfort me but it was useless. I couldn't help thinking that we all should have known something was up with James and Bella, ever since the day he came to Rosalie's house and demanded she leave with him. You just don't talk to people that way. One thing was for sure, if these boys had it their way, James wouldn't ever treat someone the way he had treated Bella again. As much as I like to shy away from any sort of violence, all I could think about was that James deserved what Emmett and Jasper if not Edward, would undoubtedly unleash on him.

I just hoped they got to him in time to teach him that lesson before he did something else that would make us all regret not going after him sooner.

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	30. We need to talk

**Thanks for all the reviews. Hope you got your previews!!! If not I'm sorry. **

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30. We need to talk.

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**EPOV**

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I parked my Volvo quickly and hastily got out of the car, grabbed my bag off the backseat, and set out for class. I tried my best to ignore Alice's inane chatter about the prom coming up and what she was going to wear. If I didn't know my sister better, I would have said she was doing considerably well, considering what I had told her and Jasper yesterday, but I did know my sister and I knew that wasn't the case.

She was talking non-stop, per usual, but her voice was a little higher pitched than normal and I could tell she was rambling in an effort to either help me, or her, or the both of us forget what had happened to Bella. But it really wasn't working.

Alice was fidgeting endlessly with the end of her dress and she had dark circles under her eyes. I could tell that she hadn't slept well last night, just as I hadn't and the double shot of caffeine she had this morning was only working to keep her on edge. She was wearing all black, which was always a dead give away to how Alice was feeling, she always dressed according to her mood. Typically she wore bright flamboyant colors that matched her personality but today was different. Today, she was sad.

I knew she meant well, but my sister was driving me insane. I managed to block out most of her chatter as I scanned the car park for Bella's red truck. I didn't want to think about prom and insignificant things like that. All I could think about was Bella and whether she was okay.

_She isn't here yet_, I thought sadly to myself. We had gotten to school early, mainly as a result of neither Alice nor I being able to sleep, but I was really hoping I could catch up with Bella before class to make sure she was alright. I guess I would have to wait for biology and hoped she showed.

We caught up with Jasper on the walk to the cafeteria and he slung his arm around Alice before kissing her forehead. He gave me a slight nod which I returned before we took our seats at our usual spot and waited for Rosalie and Emmett to show. I could tell Jasper was still feeling uneasy around me and I couldn't blame him, I did attack him. Alice had told me that he was racked with guilt that he absolutely blamed himself for James' most recent attack against Bella, but that wasn't fair. Alice said he was worried that I hated him for what happened because he had fought me in every step I took to get closer to Bella. But it wasn't the case, Alice helped me understand why Jasper wanted me to keep away and it made sense. She had belonged to someone else, I should have kept away. But it was impossible and now she belonged to me, or really I belonged to her and it was yet to be determined whether she would become mine.

I knew I had some part in what had happened to Bella. It was obvious that James was upset with her whenever he found her in my company. I didn't doubt that when she said they fought about someone, she was referring to me. It had been my fault, if I had just listened to Jasper and stayed away he may never have had the reason to get mad with her. Not that being angry with someone ever justified abusing them. But if I had stayed away she still might be with that bastard and I couldn't let myself feel too much guilt over not staying away anymore. This thought process had kept me up most the night, along with the fact that I had lost my cool in front of her.

What an idiot.

She had been in an abusive relationship and I had to go and show her my violent side. Given, it was in reaction to what had happened to her and it was never directed at her, it was still stupid and I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to steer clear of me. That thought alone almost brought on a panic attack every time I remembered my idiocy.

Last night I freaked out when I started thinking about this and stupidly I got up in the middle of the night, rolled my car far enough from the house so Carlisle and Esme wouldn't hear me leave, and I drove to her house. Someone would have thought I made the perfect stalker as I sat outside Bella's but I kept telling myself I was just there to protect her-that I needed to be closer, for both our sakes. I couldn't shake the feeling that James might come after her while she slept. And it didn't matter that he would have to be crazy to break into the house of the Chief of Police, I wasn't going to leave her unprotected.

When Rose arrived at our table with Emmett at her side, I was shaken from my thoughts. Rosalie didn't fail to notice what Alice was wearing and made some sort of comment about her obviously drinking too much on Saturday night. Alice just smiled half-heartedly in response and Rosalie didn't fail to miss her upset manner but seemingly, decided not to bring up.

Alice gave me a look as we got up to leave the cafeteria for class, reminding me that I had to talk to Bella. I nodded in confirmation and saw Jasper out the corner of my eye watching the exchange. I hadn't told Alice that I wasn't planning on talking to Bella at school. I couldn't risk her freaking out again and I wanted to break it to her gently. I knew she was going to throw a fit when she found out that I had told Jazz and Ali and if she had any trust in me left after my reaction yesterday, it would undoubtedly be lost when she knew I had betrayed her.

I was so lost in my thoughts as I walked in the direction of my first class that I walked straight into someone knocking them to the floor as I left the cafeteria, an electric shock as our skins touched told me straight away that I had just sent Bella Swan sprawling to the ground.

"Shit," she grumbled as she attempted to stand up. I reached down to give her a hand and when she turned to thank me she had to quickly cover the look of shock that crossed her face.

"Oh thanks," she mumbled self consciously as she dusted herself off.

"Jeez, I'm sorry Bell's. I wasn't really watching where I was going. You okay?" I apologized. She gave me an awkward smile and waved her hand dismissing my apology.

"I average a fall every ten minutes, if it wasn't you that I collided with, it would have been someone else." I chuckled at her response and she blushed a little in return. I loved the way she was so easily embarrassed, modesty was one of her many endearing features.

_I'm more than happy to take the place of anyone you plan on bumping into_, I thought sheepishly. I was about to tell her my thoughts when she spoke.

"I should be getting to class," she said, nodding to the door behind her; it appeared I was in her way.

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled, taking a step to the side. I stared at her for awhile, trying to find something to say next but I was at a loss for words, short of bringing up what had happened yesterday-and I wasn't ready to do that quite yet. She caught me staring and ducked her head quickly, blushing self consciously again.

She looked up at me and gave a small smile which didn't quiet reach her eyes before ducking her head again, it worried me. "Hey, are you okay?"I started, trying to hide my panic. It appeared, I had a tendency to overact where her and her wellbeing were concerned.

She nodded softly in return. "I really should be going," she said quietly, not looking me in the eye. She was lying, something was upsetting her.

_Well of course something is you idiot. _

Right now, I wanted nothing more than to hold her and touch her, to wrap her in my arms and kiss her on her previously red cheeks. I wanted her to be okay. A world in which Bella did not smile was not a happy place, it was an unholy abomination and I would give anything to change it.

"Bella," I began, reaching out to put my hand on her arm, but I dropped it quickly to my side as she stepped out of my reach. I couldn't tell if she did it purposely or not and the thought caused my heart to squeeze.

"Sorry got to go," she muttered, ducking her head as she hurried away and out of my grasp.

_Fuck_, I thought to myself as I watched her disappear, panic rooting me to the spot I was standing, paralyzing me with extreme fear. I had definitely stuffed up somewhere. I scared her off and now she didn't want anything to do with me, my heart almost stopped at the thought. I had to close my eyes, braced myself against the wall beside me, and took a deep breath to calm myself.

_You don't need to panic_ yet, I told myself. There was bound to be some awkwardness between us after the weekend, our 'little' make out session, and what she had told me and my reaction. I just had to hope that it wouldn't last, that she wasn't actually upset or mad with me as I feared.

Suddenly, the fact that I had been anticipating Biology, in the hopes of seeing Bella, seemed ironic. Now, I was terrified of seeing her again, especially with what I had to tell her. I couldn't bear to see her reject me, or the sadness in her eyes when she realized I had let her down, just as James had. I wanted to be her savior, her safe place, someone she could feel comfortable with, someone who could protect her, someone she trusted. But I stuffed up the moment I smashed my fist into the wall at her revelation. I had already done irreparable damage. Even when I kissed her back when she was too drunk, I undoubtedly broke what trust she had already given me. Telling Jasper and Alice what had happened would be the last straw.

_If she doesn't already hate you, she soon will_, my inner monologue mocked.

"Shit," I muttered to myself as I left using the door Bella had just walked through, thinking that I'd pretty much gone and lost everything before ever having it to begin with.

...

* * *

…

**BPOV**

…

_God, I can't believe I just bumped into _him_. What a great start to the day,_ I thought sarcastically, brushing my hair from my eyes as I hurried to class.

Basically, my plan for the day was to avoid Edward at all costs. I had even given thought to ditching Biology if I had to. But now it was too late, he already knew I was at school and if I ditched now, he would probably come looking for me.

I noticed the hurt in his eyes as I brushed him off and it pained me to know that I was the cause of it. I didn't want to hurt him, quite the opposite really. I cared for Edward more than I had cared for any other male, besides Jake and Charlie-more than I had _ever_ cared for James, even and that scared me. I barely knew Edward but I trusted him unconditionally, I was falling in love with him and that was stupid.

_Two weeks_, I thought helplessly. In the two weeks I had known Edward, my entire world had changed and he became an important part of it. Without him in my world in some form, it seemed as if everything would stop, existence as I knew it, love as I dreamt of it, would all vanish.

Yes, I was definitely beginning to fall for him and it worried me to no end. I was bad news. I had the best knack for ruining things. Everything and anyone who came into contact with me changed for the worst or suffered.

I was the reason my parents stayed together. Because of me, they got married and lived miserably together for almost fourteen years. Because of me, my mother broke my father's heart and took off with another man. Because of me, Jess and Laurent met and well you know what happened there. If I hadn't of been with James, if I hadn't insisted that she came with me to the senior party, she would still be here and she would be whole, not the shell of the person she used to be.

Then you can add in Jake and me. I was so blinded by my brotherly love for Jake that I failed to realize he felt more for me than he should have. I had ignored everyone else's perception of us, and assumed my own, he was my best friend, and now I had ruined our friendship.

And then there's James, he didn't use to be the person that I've come to know, or maybe I just didn't know him like I thought I did. That is what scares me the most. I barely know Edward and I'm already infatuated with him. It isn't healthy and I can't help but fear that it will turn out the same, if we ever got there. Not that I thought Edward was even a smidgen like James, but in reality I just didn't know him at all. And it seemed I couldn't trust my judgment as far as I could (for the lack of a better term) throw it.

No, I wasn't worth the trouble of knowing, and I either had to make sure Edward knew that, or I had to pretend I didn't want anything to do with him. That thought alone was enough to shatter my heart and soul into a million pieces. As much as I wanted to protect Edward from all the pain and hurt I would undoubtedly cause him, the selfish part of me wanted to give into my longing and just be with him.

I sighed inwardly as I approached my first class. Today was going to be a long one, especially if I kept having all these inner battles. I hoped I could make it without freaking out or breaking down, I hadn't been to school a full week in god knows how long and it was starting to worry me since finals were only around the corner. It also didn't help that I was still nursing a small hangover from Saturday night-you would think I would be over it by now, but no such luck.

I had spent most of my Sunday moping around with afore hangover and a guilty conscious. Charlie didn't seem to notice though and for that I was grateful. He didn't give me too much of an earful for taking off to Rosalie's and to the party when he had specifically told me not to. I guess the reason for that was the threat I issued him with, something I felt terribly sick about. I shouldn't have done that to get my own way. It was manipulative and I could tell I had really hurt his feelings. Not that he would ever admit it, when I tried to apologize, he just smiled and said he understood.

I was becoming a horrible person, snapping at my best friend, lying to people and then sharing things that I shouldn't. I just wish life had a special button you could push, like the ones on gaming consoles, so I could just reset and start again. Unfortunately, things don't work that way and all I have is the hope that everyone I love would be okay, that they could forgive me and I could move on and one day not remember this past month.

Was that too much to ask?

….

Biology class rocked around far too quickly, and even though I was lucky to have it as my last class of the day, I was worn out and not in the mood. All day I avoided Edward like the plague. I didn't want to be alone with him, I was afraid, not of him of course, but of what he would have to say. I knew I was being a coward and eventually I would have to face him and the consequences of what I had done and said to him, but I wasn't ready.

It didn't help that on the way to class I had walked past James who tried to stop and talk to me. I ignored him and he had left me alone, thankfully, but it had caused me a near fatal panic attack and I wasn't sure my heart would ever start beating normally again. Getting all my emotions in check from that one encounter was hard enough and now I was left drained of all want or desire to act okay.

I dropped my bag and my book's at my usual seat and thanked god Edward wasn't here yet. At least that gave me time to mentally and physically prepare myself for when he did show.

I smiled warmly at Angela as she took her seat at the table next to ours. As a test and she gave me a smile back, that at least let me hope my acting was up to par, Ang was one of the most perceptive people I knew and her not sensing something wrong was good. I took three deep breaths and then settled myself comfortably in my chair, resting my head in my arms on the desk.

When Edward entered the room, as per usual, I couldn't help but smile to myself. He really was superbly good looking and I couldn't believe I had had the chance to kiss him, even if I did throw myself at him.

As he walked over he gave me a smile that seemed a bit apprehensive and made my stomach twist. This couldn't be good. Even though I was planning on making it clear I didn't actually want to be with him, which was a total and utter lie, I felt sick wondering if maybe he felt the same way. I did air my dirty laundry to him, I couldn't blame him really for thinking I was damaged goods. Because, that's exactly what I was.

I felt my heart quicken and my palms become sweaty as he took his usual place next to me.

_Do I say something? What do I do? _I started to panic. But before I could kick my brain into gear he answered for me.

"Hey," he said softly, giving me an equally soft smile that almost instantly melted away all my fears. _Almost_ being the operative word.

"Hi," I replied quietly, trying to give him a warm smile in return but it probably looked like I grimaced. Embarrassed I opened my textbook and mindlessly flipped through the pages until I landed on the topic for today. I could sense Edward watching my movements, causing me to grow more and more uncomfortable by the minute. In the end I was so unnerved, I just wanted him to spit it out, tell me what he was thinking. I didn't even care anymore. Anything would be better than the immense tension I could feel building between us.

Finally, I gave in and turned to face him, raising an eyebrow to give him an expression that screamed, 'what are you looking at?'At my bluntness Edward blushed, something I had never seen him do before. It almost made me feel more in control, the fact that I could have the same effect on him that he had on me, seemed to even the field a little.

"Um," he started. "I was wondering if we could go somewhere and talk after class."

There they were again, the butterflies in my stomach. They seemed to be having a field day with that comment.

"I-I uh," I began. I didn't know what to say.

_No? I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear what you have to say, especially if it has something to do with what I told you, or even worse how what we did was a mistake._

Nope, I couldn't very well tell him that.

"Is there something you would like to share with the class Miss Swan?" Mr. Banner called from the front of the class. It appeared he could hear Edward and me talking and we had interrupted him.

"N-no Sir, sorry," I mumbled, feeling my face warm as the majority of the class turned to look in my direction. Angela turned and gave me an 'are you okay?' looked and I nodded.

"Well then, please don't interrupt the class again Miss Swan," he grumbled as he turned back to the board.

I turned to glare at Edward, this was entirely his fault. He in turn gave me an apologetic look and slipped me a piece of paper. I read it and then frowned, my heart sinking. He wasn't going to let up.

_Sorry about that,_ it read in his perfect neat writing. _I didn't know the old man's hearing was so profound. So do you want to go somewhere after school and talk, there's something I need to tell you. _

_Something he needs to tell me?_ Oh god, I was right. He regretted what had happened between us and now he was probably going to give me the 'it's not you it's me' story. Except that I was the reason he would be doing this, me and my baggage.

Oh well this is what I wanted anyway. He was too good for me and he seemed to already know that, so half my work was done already. I should let him off the hook, make it easier on him.

_It's okay,_ I wrote back, my hand shaking slightly as my stomach flipped. I noticed that my writing was pretty much illegible next to his. _I understand what happened on Saturday was a mistake, there's no need to talk about it. _

I quicklypassed the paper to him and turned my attention back to the front of the class so I wouldn't have to watch as relief crossed his face. What I didn't expect was to feel him stiffen beside me and the note that followed.

_E: What do you mean, mistake? _

_Was he trying to make this difficult? _I thought. I quickly scribbled a response and passed him the paper.

_B: You don't have to worry about what happened on Saturday, it's okay. We were both drunk; I don't expect anything of you. _

He frowned before replying: _That's not exactly what I wanted to talk about. Did you think it was a mistake?_

_B: What did you want to talk about then? And yes, that's how you feel isn't it?_

_E: Not here and no that's not at all how I feel, except for maybe the circumstances could have been better . _

_Okay I wasn't expecting that at all and what did he mean circumstances_? I decided to ignore the last part of his reply and focus on the first.

B: _What do you mean not here? What's wrong with right here?_

Before I could pass the piece of paper it was taken from my hands. "I expect better of you Miss Swan," Mr. Banner grumbled as he walked back to the front of the class, our note in hand.

_Please don't read it,_ was all I could think. Thankfully he threw it straight into the waste paper basket.

The rest of the class went by more slowly, neither Edward nor I daring to talk or pass anymore notes. I was relieved and spent most of the time ignoring the feel of his gaze as he watched me take notes. Ten minutes before class ended I decided to get one up on Edward and I asked Mr. Banner if I could go to the toilet.

"Do you really have to go Miss Swan," he asked peering at me over the rim of his glasses. "There is only ten minutes of class left."

"No sir," I replied. "I really have to go." Luckily I wasn't lying because I'm terrible at it; I actually did need to go to the bathroom.

"Fine," he waved the hall pass in the air. "At least you asked to leave the room this time." I heard a few sniggers from one side of the class room. There was no doubt as to who they probably belonged to, but I no longer gave a rat's ass about catty girls. I just wanted out so I could get away from Edward and his 'talk' he was so keen on having.

…

I washed my hands and splashed some water on my face, before I dried them slowly. I was in no hurry to return to class. I checked my watch and counted the seconds down slowly until the bell rang. I sighed, tapping my fingers softly on the basin as I listened to people hurrying down the hall. My plan was to wait a few minutes until most of the crowd dispersed and then make my way to the car, hopefully avoiding Edward in the process.

_You can't go on hiding forever you know._

_Shut up. _

While I was waiting I heard the bathroom door open and shut but paid no attention as I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to brush out the knots. However, I stiffened slightly when I heard my bathroom companion lock the door behind them. I turned slightly and let out a small shriek when I saw who it was.

"I've been looking for you Bella," he said, smiling softly. It was a smile that didn't quite reach his piercing blue eyes. "We need to talk."

…

* * *

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	31. Little Chat

**Authors note: **

So guys, this took longer to get up than I thought and I'm not going to make any excuses, except that the real world stole me for awhile, I went on holiday etc…hmm that's sounds like an excuse…ooo well. But I'm back and I promise speedier updates.

Welcome to all new readers, thanks for your reviews and adds to fave's and alerts etc. Don't forget to review if you haven't, I hand out previews as a reward. And they will be getting longer and better. If you don't leave a signed review I can't send you one, but PM me with your email or alternative contact and I'll send it through. 

Wow have you seen New Moon yet….*fans herself*….was that not HOT? I've always been Team Jake, but damn did that not make me an even stronger one. Yummy! Did you like it? Tell me!!! Did you find it a little lacking or did you think it was awesome?

Big thanks go out to my amazing Beta **Angelnlove52** --- go check out her stories A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. She along with my other girls, VPJ and TCL are the reason I write… check out their insane stories too on my Favorites list.

Also thanks to everyone else who reads and especially to those that review, you rock. If you haven't reviewed please do…you'll get rewarded!

NOTE: People think that this is where the prologue comes in and sorry to disappoint…but not yet…there is still a few more chaps to come before then. But it's coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On with the show….

* * *

31. Little Chat

…

BPOV

…

I looked around for a weapon to defend myself with. Short of throwing paper towels or splashing him with water, there wasn't much I could use. I took a deep breath and decided to remain calm.

_Don't show him you're afraid._

I backed up slowly, my hands fumbling on the basin edge as I backed into it. "This is the _girl's_ bathroom James," I said shakily, failing at the whole not showing him fear thing. He smirked and folded his arms across his chest as he looked me up and down a few times before finally resting his gaze on my face.

"That's why I locked the door honey, don't want someone coming in here and interrupting us, do we?" he drawled, chuckling softly. My stomach twisted and I clutched at it with my hands, as if to try and hide it from him.

"You should leave," I suggested, trying once again to be brave but failing twice as bad as the first time. He took a step toward me and I pressed myself further into the basin, the edge biting into my back painfully.

"I don't think so," he said almost mockingly as he shook his head from side to side. "Not until you hear me out," he countered, clasping his hands in front of himself.

"I'm not listening James," I said, shaking my head. "Leave," I added, pointing at the door.

"I think you should listen to what I have to say Bella, it could prove beneficial." He took a step toward me and I felt my breath catch in my throat. Slowly, I relaxed each part of my body, letting the air out from my lungs slowly.

"Beneficial? How could anything you have to say to me, benefit me? Unless you're telling me that you are leaving?" Trying to be inconspicuous, I inched my way closer to the door as I talked. I pressed my back against the dry wood behind me and calculated the small distance between me and the exit. _Could I get there before he did?_ James frowned slightly, not missing my movement and put his hands in the air as if he were surrendering.

"Please Bella, I'm trying here," he whispered. He was staring directly at me, trying to hold my gaze and it was severely unnerving. I ducked my head before realizing that it was a mistake, he was trying to intimidate me and I wasn't going to let him. I lifted my head and stuck out my chin, trying for the third time to show him I wasn't afraid.

"Trying what," I said bitterly through my clenched teeth.

"To be better," he mumbled.

"It's past trying, James," I said tiredly. I was so sick of the same conversation, it got us no where…actually it usually ended in me forgiving him and then getting hurt again. I wasn't about to let that happen.

_What was he trying to do? Did he honestly think that an apology and a little effort are going to fix things? Didn't he know that I could never trust him again? Did he not understand what he had done to me? How much pain he had caused me?_

"Please Bella," he begged almost painfully, his voice cracking mid-sentence.

"Please what?" I asked angrily, throwing my hands in the air. "Forgive you? So what… so you can use me as your favorite punching bag again?"

"I want you back. Please take me back," he croaked, not acknowledging what I had just said.

I shook my head softly, pursing my lips together.

"Please," he begged again.

"What do you want me to say, James? I can't be with you. God, look at what you did to me!" I growled, anger winning over the fear.

I lifted up my top and watched him flinch slightly, remorse filling his features. It failed to move me this time, I knew he wouldn't change, he couldn't, he had already proven that… more than once. Slowly, I lowered my top and glared at him.

_Did he understand now?_

"I'm sorry," he apologized, shaking his head as he lifted it to look me in the eye again. His eyes were wide. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

"I'm so _not_ doing this anymore," I said exasperated.

"Bella?"

"No," I said firmly, my fists at my side, my jaw set.

"_Bella," _he spoke louder this time, putting more emphasis on my name.

"I SAID NO," I shouted. He stiffened at my words and instantly I felt every hair stand on the back of my neck.

"Are you sure about that Bella?" he said so quietly I wasn't sure I had heard. His whole posture had changed now; he was now standing ramrod straight, his eyes had darkened and a scowl was replacing his sad and worried expression. My stomach flipped and my throat clammed shut even my heart gave a sharp pull.

I had been through this enough times to know what was coming. Closing my eyes slowly I prepared myself for the worst.

I worked on methodically loosening all the muscles in my body while I waited for the inevitable to happen; I had read somewhere that in car crashes the more relaxed your muscles were before the accident, the less severe you're injuries would be. What they based that on I had no idea, but I was hoping that the theory would still apply in my current situation. The less painful this would be, the better.

However, all my hard work was undone as soon as I heard James take a step toward me. Every single muscle in my body tensed and tightened with his slight movement which was intensified in the now seemingly very small bathroom.

I shivered as a bead of sweat rolled down my neck; my body was on fire despite the freezing cold temperature of the bathroom. I felt my lips part as I drew in a short sharp breath and slowly opened my eyes to look at James, flinching when I met his cold hard gaze.

"Take it back," he growled as he took another step toward me. He was so close now that I could feel his breath on my face, in response I pressed my body further into the wall behind me, wishing that I could disappear inside it. I swallowed loudly and averted my eyes from James' face and shook my head softly, I didn't dare look at him for fear of seeing his reaction.

James hissed loudly and a deep rumbling inside his chest escaped his lips in the form of the most frightening growl I had ever heard come from a human being. I felt my body begin to shake from the core and I wrapped my arms around my sides trying to hold it together. A traitorous tear fell from my eye and rolled down my cheek stopping to rest on my lips. Ignoring the salty taste as I licked my lip, took a deep breath, and lifted my chin preparing to scream, but I couldn't.

"Fuck you," I whispered instead, clenching my fists against my stomach, still trying to hold my shaking frame together.

If it were possible James' face grew darker, his face distorting into the ugliest shade of red. He wanted to scare me, he wanted to intimidate me, make me fear him and feel insignificant. And he was doing a fucking good job, but I wouldn't let him win. He could hurt me, I knew that. But I wouldn't beg him not to; I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing exactly how terrified I was.

He took another step toward me, closing the very small gap between our bodies. I could feel him everywhere as he leaned against me, placing his palms on either side of my face as his eyes bored into mine.

"Why would you say that?" he asked in a small hiss which shattered my resolve. I was trembling violently now and there was no denying how afraid I was. I couldn't answer him, and even if I wanted to, I probably wouldn't have been able. Instead I watched slowly as his lips pressed together into a thin hard line before opening to show me his barred teeth.

Then for some crazy reason I zoned out. It was like I wasn't in my body anymore, as if I had separated myself from the situation and instead I was a spectator, watching James and I from another corner of the bathroom. I couldn't hear what was going on but I could see it.

James was talking to me, his face so close to mine that my eyes couldn't focus on him, he was saying something that I couldn't make out and I could see I wasn't responding. He seemed to be getting angrier each time I ignored whatever it was he was asking or telling me. I watched as he placed both hands on my shoulders and began to shake me, snapping my head back and forth like a rag doll, while I still didn't respond, my eyes glassed over and I just stared at him, or rather, through him like I couldn't see him.

He moved his hands from my shoulders and placed one at the top of my chin, palming half of my face. I could see he was exerting pressure as the tendons in his hand stuck out but my expression didn't indicate any pain. He was pushing my face upward and against the wall and he was shouting now but I still wasn't responding. Finally, I watched as he pulled me back off the wall by my chin and then pushed me back into it with a force that caused my eyes to close and silent tears to fall. He was panting heavily as he leaned in to whisper something in my ear, still holding my jaw in his hand and I observed helplessly as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine for a moment before pulling his body back, along with his fist.

It was in that moment that the real me and my spectator self decided to rejoin one another. My eyes reopened only to see James' fist fly toward my face causing me to quickly close them. It wasn't long until I heard the sickening crunch of his fist connecting and my stomach lurched at the sound. James' hand that had been holding me up released me and instantly I dropped to the floor like a dead weight, my hands flying to my face in wonder as to why I couldn't feel the horrendous pain that should surely have arrived by now.

But there was nothing, I couldn't feel anything; I started to think that I had gone into shock that my body had shutdown and was numbing the pain in order to protect itself. I couldn't smell blood and my face felt fine to the touch, but my mind kept screaming that it didn't make sense. I had heard him hit me. I had seen it coming, so why couldn't I feel it, just like I had all the other times?

_Was I dead? Had he hit me so hard I had lost consciousness and died? Was that why I couldn't feel anything?_

I felt someone crouch down beside me and I stiffened when I remembered that James was still in the room with me.

"Bella," he began slowly before he shook his head, continuing in a disgruntled tone. "Don't make there be a next time baby, because next time it _will_ hurt."

I hadn't realized how hard I had been crying until James tried to comfort me and I flinched at his touch letting a strangled sob escape. He smiled wryly before getting to his feet, rubbing one of his hands in the other, I noticed that it was slightly swollen and the knuckles were cut.

_So he had hit something. _

"Sorry," he whispered before he turned unlocking the bathroom door to leave.

When he was gone I rolled over onto my side and wrapped my arms around myself trying to soften the sobs that were again racking my body. I let go of my face knowing now that he hadn't actually hit me and I managed to let out a sigh amongst the teary hiccups.

_A messed up face would be hard to explain._

I wondered what he had hit but I was afraid to look and I really didn't want to know. I knew I had to get up off the bathroom floor sometime but I didn't want to leave for fear of seeing someone in the state I was in. So worked on calming myself down and waited until it would be safe to leave.

I didn't get to wait long.

* * *

……

EPOV

…..

So I guess I was being a stalker again when I decided to wait for Bella outside the bathroom, but I really needed to talk to her. I knew that she was just trying to avoid me when she asked to leave class early to go to the toilet, and I was a little worried that she wasn't even in there and instead she had just taken off or that I had already missed her. But I had to take the chance that she was still there and even if she wasn't I was planning on going around to her house to find her. I had made a deal with Jazz and Alice to tell her and I needed to do it in a way so she would understand and forgive me. I couldn't risk losing her trust, I loved her too much, and I needed her in my life.

_Wait five more minutes Cullen and if she doesn't come out, she's not in there. _

I couldn't understand why she had written what she had in class before Mr. Banner caught us. I didn't think what had happened between us was a mistake at all, and I didn't want her to think that either. I knew it was stupid because she was drunk and I really shouldn't have let it happen but I couldn't stop it. I couldn't deny her what she wanted when she begged for me to kiss her and it hurt to see her upset, it didn't make it any easier that I wanted it as much as her, if not more. She said she liked me, that she wanted to kiss me but now she was acting like it wasn't what she wanted and that it didn't matter to her and that confused and scared the hell out of me. What if I had been wrong? What if all my pining for her was one sided and she didn't reciprocate? My heart gave a sharp tug at the thought and I shook my head to clear the thought.

_It doesn't matter; you still need to talk to her. _

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud noise coming from behind the bathroom door, causing my body to stiffen. I could hear shouting, or at least it sounded like it and then there was a loud crack and then I think I heard someone crying. My stomach flipped and something caught in my throat at the sound.

_What the fuck is going on in there?_

My thoughts started running wild. _Bella? _I reached out to grab the door handle not caring if anyone saw me going into the girls' bathroom. What if Bella had fallen? What if _anything_ had happened to her? The thought of her crying for any reason was enough to cause a mild panic attack. My brain tried to reason that it might not be Bella, there were a number of other girls that could be using the bathroom at this time, and it might not be her. But that thought didn't really calm me down, if it was anybody it was Bella, she attracted danger and pain.

My panic really started to fire when the door wouldn't open and I realized it was locked.

_Why the fuck is this door locked? _

"Bella?" I shouted at the closed wooden door, pulling on the handle up and down. Just as I was about to bang on it and break it down with my bare hands, I heard a soft click and then it flew open almost knocking me to the ground. To my confusion and then horror I watched as James strode out of the bathroom and down the hallway.

My mind was running a million miles an hour but my body just wasn't functioning or keeping up. I couldn't seem to get to my feet without stumbling or form any coherent words. Finally, my feet co-operated with the rest of me and I made it upright, taking a step forward I was about to go after James and demand to know why he was in the bathroom when I remembered three things.

One, he was in the girls bathroom.

Two, I had heard what sounded like crying.

Three, Bella was suppose to be in there.

"Bella?" I called out in panic, rushing into the bathroom almost slipping on the wet floor. At first I thought the bathroom was empty until I laid eyes on a large hole in the wall just beside the door, like someone had put their fist through it. Almost simultaneously my eyes dropped to the bathroom floor below the hole and what I saw wrenched my heart right through my chest.

Bella was curled up in a ball crying, her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes tightly shut.

I crossed the bathroom in two quick strides before I fell to my knees sliding the rest of the way toward her. Pulling Bella into my arms, I cradled her rocking her back and forth until her sobbing eased. She pressed herself into me, griping at the collar of my shirt as she pulled me tighter to her. Her tears were seeping through my shirt and I could feel her warm breath on my neck and again I marveled in the fact that she seemed to fit so perfectly in my arms.

"Bella," I whispered into her hair. "What happened?" I leant back from her to catch hold of her gaze but she still had her eyes closed.

"Nothing really," she whispered breathlessly into my shirt. I rubbed her back gently, but I wasn't giving in, something had obviously happened and James had something to do with it. He was going to pay but for now I needed to make sure she was alright.

"What was James doing in here?"

She shook her head softly and pressed herself closer to me. Clearly, she didn't want to talk about it. But she needed to, she needed to tell us, she couldn't keep this all to herself. She had to stop protecting him.

"Bella honey did he hurt you?" Even as I spoke the words I felt a small amount of panic and anger set in, he would pay, if he even threatened her he would suffer. It didn't matter what she wanted, it's what he deserved and even though I didn't want to hurt her or go against her wishes, I couldn't stand by and watch this happen over and over again. I wanted to be her savior, her hero, but I didn't want her to suffer, I wanted to be happy. I never wanted to have to pick her up off the floor again. There was only so much one small girl could take.

"No he didn't," she said very quietly, so quietly I thought she may be lying so I gave her a once over checking her face and other places on her that were visible. Nothing.

"Did he put the hole in the wall?" I asked, feeling a little relief that I couldn't see any physical damage to her. She gave me a confused look before trailing her eyes to the gaping hole in the wall, surprise and then realization crossed her face.

"Oh," she muttered.

"What was he doing in here Bella?" I asked, it almost sounded like a demand. I didn't want to seem overbearing and it wasn't really any of my business, but I couldn't help but ask. Bella meant a lot to me and even if I was nothing to her, I couldn't help the incessant urge I had to protect her, especially from him.

She shrugged hopelessly in my arms and I thought she was going to start crying again but she swallowed deeply. "He wanted me back."

It was my turn to be surprised. "Oh," I said quietly. My stomach twisted uneasily. My brain tried to calm me down but I couldn't help the feeling of anger that coursed through me. He didn't have to the right to have her; he didn't even have the right to talk to her.

_God, please tell me she didn't go back to him_, I begged silently.

"Bella," I started. I felt frantic. What if she did say yes? What if she wanted him? What if I wasn't what she wanted at all? What if she really did believe what happened between us was a mistake? I couldn't let that happen…could I?

"I told him no," she said. She had lent back in my arms and it was if she could read the apprehension that was embedded in my features. "I don't want him… ever."

_Thank god. _

I suddenly felt the compelling urge to kiss Bella, and just I leaned in she ducked her head. I couldn't tell if it was because she knew what I was about to do, but it didn't matter anyway. I pressed my lips to her forehead softly and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Good," I said softly.

"Good?" she asked.

"_Very_ good, he doesn't deserve you."

"Then who does?" she questioned quietly, shifting in my arms. She was looking at me now, raising an eyebrow. I felt my heart skip a beat as I spoke the next words.

"No one could be that lucky, but I can think of one fool who would like to be," I said in a rush, trying but failing to seem indifferent. Her mouth turned up at the corner and her cheeks turned crimson. She ducked her head for a moment before turning her face and sticking out her chin.

"Oh, just one?" she asked nonchalant.

_Bella being smug? _I had to fight the urge to chuckle.

"Mmm, there's probably more but I don't want to list his competition," I said, seriously trying to appear deep in thought.

She giggled softly, causing me to smile into her hair. I felt her wrap her arms around me slowly, it warmed me from the inside;_ she_ was holding _me_ for once. We sat like this for a moment before she sighed deeply.

"It won't work," she muttered into my chest.

"What?" I asked, afraid of her answer. She was pulling away from me again.

"Us," she stated matter-of-fact. There she goes pulling out my heart

"W-why?" I choked on the word, my fear and frustration evident.

"He will make your life hell," she explained. I almost scoffed at her words before she leaned back and gave me a reproving look. I wasn't worried about James, as long as she was with me, as long as she choose me, I would protect her and that's all that mattered.

"It doesn't matter," I said curtly.

"Yes, it does, You could end up hurt," she pointed out.

I sighed, "That won't happen."

"Why?" she demanded

"I _can_ handle myself Bella."

"And what about me?" she breathed quietly.

"Pardon?" I asked, confused. In all the time I had known Bella she hadn't ever shown any self interest. She had always put others first, always worried about their well being, even if it was at the cost of her own.

"What about me Edward? I can't handle myself. I can't take him." She was almost in hysterics again. I pulled her to me, burying my face in her hair.

"Bella, I would never let him…"

"HOW?! How do you know that? You can't always be there," she growled, pushing me away from her, tears streaking down her cheeks again. It broke my heart. She didn't trust me enough to protect, she was scared and it wasn't fair. She deserved happiness and_ he_ was ruining it, destroying her trust in others causing her to live in fear.

"He won't-" I began before she interrupted me the words tumbling from her mouth.

"He already has," she said pointed out. "He threatened me, he will be…."

"He what?" I asked incredulously.

"You heard," she stated quietly.

_He threatened her?_

"What did he say?" I asked, taking her hands in mine, pleading with her to tell me.

"It doesn't matter," she said very quietly, shaking her head.

"The hell it doesn't Bella, What did he say," I demanded, my frustration and fear of what had happened to her getting the better of me.

She sighed, "He said not to let there be a next time because next time…"

"Next time?" I asked impatiently.

"Next time…it will hurt," she said meekly, looking away from me, obviously afraid of my reaction or embarrassed.

I could feel my insides clench along with my fists, I felt so angry it was making me feel sick. Without even thinking I whipped out my phone and called Jasper, not even bothering to explain to Bella when she asked what I was doing or when she told me it was nothing and I needed to calm down. It just made me angrier. 'It wasn't _nothing_.' What the fuck, he had threatened to hurt her! Jasper answered and I quickly told Jasper where I was and to meet me here immediately. Within seconds he was barging into the bathroom asking what had happened. His eyes growing wide when he took in Bella's upset demeanor and hole it the wall.

"Where is he?" he asked, anger rolling off him in waves. I shook my head and indicated to Bella.

"You stay here with her," I muttered. "I think it's about time Hunter and I had a talk."

"Let me come…."

"No, look after her," I growled. _"Please."_ Jasper nodded solemnly, indicating he understood and giving one last look at a bewildered and distraught Bella, I pushed past Jasper and out the door, ignoring Bella's cries to stop.

_I'm sorry Bella_, I thought silently. _But I just can't let him do this to you anymore._

For some stupid reason it had taken me this long to do something about that piece of shit coward, it was a mistake letting it get this far. I had to fix that mistake before anything else happened. I had let Bella have her way initially, but that obviously wasn't going to work. Now, it was my turn. I just had to hope she wouldn't hate me for it.

...

* * *

**Please Read: **

Please review for a preview…. The previews are going to get longer!! AND if you go back and review a chapter you haven't already reviewed, as well as this one. You will get a **double preview.** Yeah I'm a review whore…but I like to know what you think so talk to me, tell me anything.

Only a very small number of you do and I love you guys for it, you are awesome and the reason I write!! But there are a million more of you (well not that much) that don't review and it would be soo awesome if you did so I could know what you are thinking.

_SO finally Edward is going to confront James…what do you think will happen? How do you think Bella will react? _


	32. Doubt

32: Doubt

….

Previously: EPOV

I could feel my insides clench along with my fists, I felt so angry it was making me feel sick. Without even thinking I whipped out my phone and called Jasper, not even bothering to explain to Bella when she asked what I was doing or when she told me it was nothing and I needed to calm down. It just made me angrier. It wasn't '_nothing_.' What the fuck? _He_ threatened to hurt her! Jasper answered and I quickly told him where I was and to meet me here immediately. Within seconds he was barging into the bathroom asking what had happened. His eyes growing wide when he took in Bella's upset demeanor and the hole in the wall.

"Where is he?" he asked, anger rolling off him in waves. I shook my head and indicated to Bella.

"You stay here with her," I muttered. "I think it's about time Hunter and I had a talk."

"Let me come…."

"No, look after her," I growled. _"Please."_ Jasper nodded solemnly, indicating he understood and giving one last look at a bewildered and distraught Bella, I pushed past Jasper and out the door, ignoring Bella's cries to stop.

_I'm sorry Bella_, I thought silently. _But I just can't let him do this to you anymore._

For some stupid reason it had taken me this long to do something about that piece of shit coward, it was a mistake letting it get this far. I had to fix that mistake before anything else happened. I had let Bella have her way initially, but that obviously wasn't going to work. Now, it was my turn. I just had to hope she wouldn't hate me for it.

….

Now: BPOV

….

"EDWARD!" I screamed for the umpteenth time. _Come back, _I pleaded silently, hopelessly. But like all the other times I called his name, he didn't come back, he didn't listen.

Resentfully, I turned to face Jasper, my captor, who looked at me with a mixture of pity, sorrow, and anguish.

"Please Jazz," I begged. "Stop him, make him come back." I almost screamed the last part of those words, throwing my arms in the direction of the door, as if showing Jasper the way out would make him realize what he had to do. But instead he continued to ignore my efforts. Timidly, I made an attempt to stand and go after Edward, but I was rooted to the bathroom floor by fear and shock. My legs were numb and refused to obey, useless props attached to the rest of my useless body.

Seeing my struggle, Jasper came to kneel beside me, slinging an arm around my shoulders in what I'm sure was meant to be an act of comfort but only made me feel even worse, even more pathetic. "I'm sorry Bella," he whispered. He sounded so remorseful that I couldn't be sure what he was sorry for. Was it because he wasn't doing what I asked? Or was it something else?

"Go after him," I cried, pointing toward the door, breaking out of his grip. I might not have been physically able to go after Edward or stop him, but Jasper could.

Jasper shook his head. "He wants me to stay here and look after you."

At his words I gritted my teeth and folded my arms across my chest. Why was everyone always deciding what to do with me, what was best for me, and how to handle me? It was annoying! Everyone, from Jake to Edward and now Jasper were treating me like a fragile little child, and it was starting to get on my nerves.

"And_ I_ want _you_ to go out there and make sure he's okay, he's going after James, and he could get hurt out there." I was two seconds away from hysteria and all I could do was sit there while it rendered me helpless.

"Emmett will probably be there, he'll be fine and besides, Bella, James deserves what he gets," Jasper said quietly, his jaw clenched.

"Huh?"I grunted confused. What would Jasper know about what James deserved?

"_Bella_," Jasper responded in a condescending tone. It was that type of tone that parents used when you try act oblivious to something they've basically caught you red handed doing. Jasper was looking directly at me with a pointed expression. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze the hysteria burning in my throat.

_He knows, _I thought, hanging my head in shame. Again, I tried to get my pathetic limbs to work; I needed to get out of here. And again my efforts didn't go unnoticed and I felt Jasper's hold on me tighten in an attempt to get me to stop moving, he probably thought I was going to hurt myself. It most certainly looked like I was having a fit. After a few seconds I was resigned to the fact that I wasn't going anywhere.

"H-he told you?" I croaked quietly after an eternity of what felt like silence. There was a small amount of hurt in my tone which Jasper didn't miss at all--he knew what I was getting at. It had to have been Edward, no one else knew, except for Doctor Cullen and he was under oath.

"He didn't have a choice Bella, the circumstances were –"

"Who else knows?" I asked, interrupting him, trying to keep my tone even while I simultaneously tried desperately to remain calm.

_What if everybody knows? What if they are all looking at me? What if they think I'm crazy? What if_…I shook my head softly I didn't want to think about it.

It was Jasper's turn to look upset. "Bella, he didn't want to-"

"Who else?" I asked again, my tone raising an octave cracking at the end as I spoke. I stared Jasper right in the eye, daring him to lie to me. I needed to know how far this had gotten so I could work on damage control.

"Just me and Alice," Jasper replied quietly, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Oh." My voice was barely audible as I dropped my gaze to the tiled floor. It wasn't as bad as I had thought, but still…

_I had trusted him._

"Bella he didn't want to tell us, we kind of extracted it from him. He was going to…." The rest of Jasper's words were lost on me as my own thoughts began to drown out everything around me.

It had happened again. I must have a sign on my forehead that says "I'm a stupid idiot, I'm gullible, please take me for a ride." Because that's what keeps happening; I believe in someone, I trust them, I let them in and then it all comes crashing down. The funny thing is, I never expected it from Edward, which shows you just how stupid I am. I hardly know him, he hasn't been in my life more than a few weeks and I believed, stupidly, that I could trust him, that I could tell him my secrets. I just felt so safe around him; he has this way of making everything disappear, of making me calm. The only other person who came close to having that effect on me was Jake and he let me down too.

Edward promised he wouldn't tell anyone, he promised he would let it go, and he wouldn't do anything stupid by going after James, and he broke both of those pledges as if what I wanted and how it would affect me didn't matter.

It didn't matter to me why he told them, because nothing in my mind could have warranted that. And the fact that he was going after James really hurt, because above everything else, I just want everything to go away. I want to ignore the past, even though James was making it rather hard for me to push past what had happened. I had counted on Edward to help me let it go because that's what I really wanted and I thought he understood that. Doing this, going after him, was going to make matters worse and I had no doubt about that. You couldn't just make beef with James and then expect him to let it go, things were going to become bad, or they were going to get more than bad.

Throughout my entire inner monologue, Jasper comforted me by talking in soothing tones and rubbing circles on my back, something that reminded me of Edward and made me feel instantly sick. My eyes began to burn but the tears never came, my eyes were dry and red and felt like sand paper when I blinked. Rounding my shoulders I shrugged out of Jaspers half hold on me and turned to face him.

"Um do you think we could go out now?" I asked quietly, careful not to look at him directly so he wouldn't be able to make out my wavering resolve.

"I'm not sure that's wise, maybe would should wait a –"

"Please," I begged. He sighed and began to stand, holding his hand out to help me up too.

"Bella, you do know that Edward is just trying to help. Maybe he shouldn't have told us, but he didn't really have a choice –"

"I don't want to talk about this," I interrupted, pressing my fingers to his lips. Jasper's brow furrowed and he removed my fingers taking my hand in his.

"Just know that we are here for you Bells, all of us. You can talk to us, _you should_." His expression was serious and he didn't drop my gaze, every word was sincere. In that moment I wanted to share with him, I wanted to believe that I could tell Jasper and Alice, I wanted to believe that they would be there for me. But I didn't know who or what to believe in anymore.

"I know, I just…." I hesitated before I sighed.

Protectively, Jasper wrapped his arm around me as he we left the bathroom. I was rather grateful for the gesture since my legs were rather dead from sitting on the cold bathroom floor for so long. I tucked my head into his shoulder and braced myself against his side as we made our way down the hall and outside into the car park.

Suspiciously, Jasper took a detour around the backside of the student parking lot but I didn't argue, sensing that my emotional state probably wouldn't handle the reason why. Although subconsciously, I knew that we were avoiding the main parking block and that it might have something to do with either Edward or James or both.

I shuddered inwardly at the thought.

I know that only moments earlier I had almost fought my way, despite my emotionally paralyzed state, to get to Edward to try and protect him. But now, all I could think about was hiding, getting home and stripping my bed of all my blankets so I could take them and crawl up into the cubby space above my cupboard and hide, like I used to when I was small.

I wanted to hide from everything, everyone, and the disaster that was my life.

I kept my eyes on the ground for good measure; I didn't want to trip and take Jasper to the concrete with me. I didn't need another reason for everyone to be treating me like a fragile, breakable child they seemed to think I was. I needed them to believe I was strong, that's what I wanted James to believe. I didn't like the feeling that he might just be enjoying the fact that he could scare me, make me feel vulnerable and weak, so I didn't need anyone else thinking that I was in fact those things.

On the way over to my car, I felt Jasper stiffen at my side. Feeling confused, I glanced up at him in order to figure out what his problem was. He was looking straight ahead of us, his eyes narrowed and I followed his gaze and stopped when I saw what he was looking at.

"J-Jake?" I stuttered, confused at his presence as he leaned against my truck. He stood upright at my voice and glanced between Jasper and I, his gaze resting on the closeness and Jaspers hold on me, his eyes narrowing. Self consciously, I shrugged my way out of Jaspers grasp and took a few tentative steps towards my estranged best friend.

"Bell? What happened are you okay?" Jake asked, obviously noticing my red rimmed eyes and solemn expression, he took his eyes off of me to glare at Jasper in accusation.

I shrugged indifferently and gave Jasper a pointed glare as his hands balled into fists at Jakes silent allegation.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked quietly, dodging his question. His anger dissipated at my words and he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, glancing downwards.

"I uh-uh, came to…." He trailed off and glared at Jasper again. "Can we have a minute?" he asked, acid lacing his words. I had never known Jake to be rude to someone he barely knew. He and Jasper had met on occasion once or twice, I was sure of it and I began to wonder if something had happened between them to cause this kind of reaction or if he was just being a dick for the sake of it.

"Jake!" I growled incredulously. He ignored my angered reaction and continued to look in Jasper's direction quirking an eyebrow.

"Well?" he asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

Jasper turned in my direction, asking me silently whether or not I was okay with this. Truthfully, I had no idea. I wasn't ready for anymore drama or confrontations today and something was telling me that Jake being here wasn't for the scenery that was Forks High.

"It's okay Jasper," I said dismissively, waving my hand at him indicating that he could leave.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

_No._

"Yeah, um go find Edward would you," I added hastily, hoping that he would leave before I changed my mind. I didn't bother to look in his direction; I was too busy giving Jake death glares.

"Kay," Jasper muttered before hesitantly turning and leaving me with my ex-best friend who I really wanted to punch and kick at this point. Jake watched Jasper leave, not taking his eyes off Jasper's back until he was no longer within earshot.

"So what's _his_ deal," Jake growled, nodding in Jasper's direction. I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest.

"He was walking me to my car because I was upset, he was being a friend unlike _someone_ I know," I seethed through clenched teeth.

Jake laughed it sounded cruel, so unlike the warm chuckle I was used to. "Yeah, I'm sure he was just being a friend," he muttered sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and chose to ignore his bitter, twisted mood and his words that didn't make any sense. It was Jasper for fucks sake, not Tyler or Eric or something. Jazz just wasn't like that. Plus, he had Alice and I knew he was hopelessly devoted to her.

"What are you doing here Jake?" I asked again, my tone sharp. He flinched slightly at my anger, obviously just noticing now how pissed off he was really making me. He started to look nervous again and began to fiddle with the tie on his hooded jacket.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't come here to fight with you. I j-just I came here to apologize for my actions and…." He stopped talking taking a deep breath and a step closer to me. I tensed slightly at the closeness and I wasn't sure if it was because I was uncomfortable with the prospect of him touching me or if it was because I had missed him so much that all I really wanted was for him to hold me and make everything that hurt disappear just like he used to.

"J-Jake?" I stuttered, not sure how to react, confused at what he was telling me.

"Bells," he breathed. "I'm so sorry; I should never have pushed you like that. I should never have kissed you; I shouldn't have touched you without your permission. Bella, I'm so fucking sorry and I can't stand this." He indicated between us. "This… this awkwardness is unbearable and I can't do it. I love you, you are my best friend and I can't lose you, not for some stupid fucking feelings that I have and you don't. I just can't…I can't be without you." He paused for a moment and so quietly I couldn't be sure I heard he muttered, "I'd rather be dead."

"Jake-" I started but he held up a hand indicating to me that he wasn't finished.

"Bells, I need you back. Please I'm begging you to forgive me for being such a dog. I promise I will never, ever do something like that again…not without your permission." He winked playfully, lightening the mood somewhat.

_Typical Jake cockiness. _

"I can deal with this, I promise. You don't have to worry, I won't let it get in the way of us being friends. I will never allow it," he added seriously. When I didn't answer immediately he got down on one knee and brought his hands to his lips, clasped together in the form of a prayer.

"Please Bells. I'm begging you," he whined. I stared at him blankly not sure what to say to his confession. I mean, my best friend had just admitted he had feelings for me that he knew I didn't reciprocate but it didn't matter to him, because our friendship mattered to him more. What does one say to that?

Jakes face fell as I stood there immobile, my expression blank and unresponsive. Sullenly, he started to get to his feet but stopped when I growled.

"Jacob Black," I seethed, my expression serious before my lips turned upward into a traitorous grin. I had been planning on making him sweat a little. I kind of liked him on his knees begging but I was a terrible actress and truthfully, I just missed him too damn much.

"Come here," I laughed playfully, causing his sad expression turn to one of confusion. Stunned, he got to his feet and closed the distance between us. Feeling ecstatic at having something return to normal in my life, I took the final step to close the gap completely, throwing my arms around his neck and planting a chivalrous kiss on his cheek. Not even thinking that it was inappropriate considering his feelings, and my lack thereof.

"I miss you too," I whispered weakly, tears stinging my raw eyes once again. Immediately, I felt Jake's tense form relax as he wrapped his arms around my waist in a tight squeeze.

"Thank-god," he moaned, pressing his lips to my hair as he squeezed me tighter to him.

"Uh, J-Jake c-cant breath," I stuttered, his hold restricting much needed oxygen. He chuckled quietly and released me back to my feet but not before placing a chastised kiss on my forehead beaming down at me. I stole a quick breath as I had forgotten how Jake could warm me with just that smile before I beamed back at him.

"Hey best friend," he said warmly, smiling down at me, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"Hey back," I returned, pressing myself into his warm chest, forgetting for a moment the hell that was my life.

….

EPOV

….

"Are you fucking blind or what Cullen," James growled, throwing his hands in the air. "Take a fucking look. Fucking _best friend_ my ass," he muttered, glowering over my shoulder.

Confused and worried for a second that following his gaze would leave me open for attack, I ignored James' comment, balling my fists and clenching my jaw shut.

"Nice try," I spat.

"Fuck, you _are _pathetic Cullen! Jesus, turn the fuck around, would you!" James said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes at me.

For some reason, I did what he said and the sight that had befallen me, confused me at first not before nearly knocking me to my knees. Had I not been so taken aback at what I had seen, James's hand clasping down on my shoulder would never have gone without reciprocation in a much more unpleasant and violent manner.

"Dude, I'm sorry for whatever she did to make you think that you had some sort of chance. And I'm sorry for being right, for your sake, brother, but that's some fucking obvious shit going over there. You can't even deny me that you still can't see it." Even though James tried to sound sincere in his apologies, I knew it wasn't even close to how he really felt. He loved it, he was making me look like a fool in front of his friends and he was gloating at the fact that he was clearly right.

I could hear James chuckle briefly and mention something about 'lost cause' before he left me standing stock still as I watched Bella and Jacob hug and place kisses on one another. Even though I knew my eyes couldn't betray me, I refused to believe that she had played me, that she didn't at all reciprocate how I felt. It wasn't possible, I knew there was something between us, there had to be.

_They are friends, that is all._

_Friends that kiss and hug, _my subconscious warned.

_There's nothing wrong with that, girls do it all the time. _I argued pathetically.

_Yeah, but he's no girl._

_So…_

_And she's Bella._

_Your point being?_

_They all want her. _

It was blindingly obvious, my confrontation with James and his words repeated over and over in my head.

_I pressed my arm into James's neck as my fist tightening around his shirt while he leaned back into his car behind him. _

"_You are going to fucking pay!" I spat, my voice shaking in rage. James eyed me curiously, acting unfazed by my sudden and unexpected attack. It was rather impressive, considering I had caught him off guard as I stormed up behind him, grabbed him, and threw him into his prized mustang. Laurent and some other guy I didn't know made a move toward me but James stopped them in their tracks with one look in their direction_

"_And by what do I owe this honor?" he drawled lazily, throwing his friends a grin and an eye-roll. Casually, he drew a cigarette from his pack, oblivious or uncaring that we were still on school property. I hadn't even known he smoked. Artfully, he withdrew a cigarette and strategically placed it between his lips as he patted himself down, probably looking for a lighter. _

Cocky prick. I'm going to wipe the floor with you_, I thought sadistically. _

"_I've seen what you've done," I growled, shaking him a little in the process. I smiled to myself as the cigarette fell from his mouth and dropped to the ground. James let out an exaggerated sigh and as he fumbled for his packet once again. I should have just knocked him flat the moment I saw him, but for some stupid reason, I felt like I needed to have a rant at him first so he knew why I was going to mess up his pretty face. _

"_What are you talking about?" he mumbled, not making eye contact with me as he tried to grab another cigarette and light it. For the fun of it, I shook him again and miraculously through sheer stupidity James let it drop to the ground as well. _

"_Fuck, Cullen, this is really starting to piss me off," he seethed, his face turning red. _

"_The bruises, I saw them," I continued, my explanation ignoring his now agitated demeanor. Instantly, James's eyes meet mine and I watched as some emotion flashed across his eyes._

_Understanding? Fear?_

_Whatever it was, James realized pretty quickly that I wasn't here to fuck around anymore, that I was serious. He gave Laurent and his friend a look, and said quietly, "I've got this," causing them to give us some privacy. Once they were out of earshot he turned to me, his expression incredulous. _

"_Oh, dude, you are delusional, I have no idea what you're rambling on about. But whatever little story she's spun to have you spouting shit like this, I can tell you it isn't true." I could almost detect a certain level of panic as he spoke and it spurred me on, knowing I caught him out. _

"_So what, she did that to herself then?" I asked sarcastically, throwing my weight into him a little, causing his face to redden more._

"_Probably, haven't you noticed she's a hazard to herself? Girl can't walk two feet without tripping." James wasn't looking me in the eye anymore and I was starting to lose my footing. I had expected rage and anger, something to keep me going. I needed him to retaliate so I could fuck him up. _

"_She didn't get those injuries from falling," I growled, shoving him harder into his car hoping to get a rise out of him. It worked._

"_Whatever, Eddie boy, until you have some hard proof I think you should back the fuck off," he seethed, shoving me back. I loosened my grip on him and took a step back, keeping my feet shoulder-width-apart. I needed him to take the first swing. I didn't want to start the fight--I only wanted to finish it. I was definitely counting on antagonizing him into it. _

"_Not until you get what you deserve Hunter," I whispered almost inaudibly, glaring at him. Anger was rolling off me in waves. I could feel the heat in my face as it reddened with rage. My fists hurt from being clenched so hard. I wanted to kill him. _

Let him hit me first.

"_You are pathetic, you know that? Can't you see what she's doing?" James folded his arms across his chest and leaned against his passenger door._

"_And what is that?" I asked, deciding to entertain his delusion._

"_Typical Bella," he muttered, feigning indifference. _

"_What about her," I questioned, losing my patience. _

"_Why don't you ask some of the boys around here what's she's like. You're new here so I can forgive your ignorance but Bella is a modern day player."_

_I almost choked at the absurdity of his words. Bella? Innocent, shy, little Bella, a player? The idea was ludicrous._

"_Okay, I've heard some shit come out your mouth but this is fucking…" I started but was interrupted by James, his expression dark and suddenly scarily serious only an inch from mine. _

"_I caught her Edward, that's why we aren't together anymore. I caught her and that _dog_," He spat, keeping his voice low. As he said the last word his mouth turned up in a sneer. He took a step back and leant against his car again._

"_What the fuck are you going on about?" I asked, momentarily distracted. _

"_Her and her so called _best friend_, I caught them getting busy at her house." It took me a moment to figure he was talking about Jacob Black and then I balked. What he was saying was bullshit._

"_Bullshit, they're just friends," I reiterated out loud._

"_Really can you honestly say that? Can a guy and a girl be that close and not have something going on?"_

"_I'm not listening to this shit anymore," I sneered, shoving him in the chest. I was trying to ignore his words but what he had said nagged at me. Ever since I first saw them together it had bugged me. I could see it in Black's eyes that he felt something for her. I never once considered the feelings mutual. James obviously noticed the flicker of doubt that crossed my features and took it as an opportunity to continue spinning his shit. _

"_See, you know it's true. Dude, I'm just trying to watch out for you man. She's a man eater. She uses guys as a cover for her relationship with Black; if you don't believe me ask Eric, or Tyler, or even Mike for that matter. She did it to them too."_

_That confused me Eric, Tyler and Mike? She went out with them? She had never mentioned that, although we had never really discussed our past hook ups._

"_And why would she need to cover her relationship up?" I questioned, trying to maintain an air of indifference, hoping he wouldn't realize how much what he was saying was affecting me._

"_I don't know, maybe because he's younger, maybe Charlie is a racist?" he muttered, shrugging his shoulders as he bent to pick up one of the cigarettes he had dropped._

"_Her father and his are best friends," I contradicted skeptically. _

"_Haven't you ever heard the saying what's good enough for… oh I forget. But it doesn't matter, you get the idea. And I don't fucking know, Cullen, all I know is that I caught them getting it on and that's all the proof I need. Seriously, Edward, she'll just use you like she did me. She acts all innocent, fragile and clueless but she knows exactly what's going on. She pretends to be weak; plays the victim makes you think she needs saving. She's a grade A bitch. Don't say I didn't warn you," he spouted casually as he lit his smoke taking a long drag as he finished._

"_Fuck off James. You didn't catch shit," I muttered. I shook my head in an effort to dispel some the crap he just filled it with as I tried to remember why I had approached him in the first place. _

That's when he convinced me to turn around, witnessed what was possibly the truth in his words.

There definitely was more to Jacob Black and Bella Swan than mere friendship.

…

AN: So I'm terribly sorry this took so long, and I have a million and one excuses as to why it did but it doesn't really matter. I'm also sorry that you didn't get your previews but the reason for that is the stupid effing internet, my lack of having it and the fact that when I do it sucks ass and takes soo long to load a page.

So anyhoo, thanks for putting up with me.

Thanks D you're my angel, and a wonderful beta and I love u, like a fat kid loves cake

**Recommended reading:** (What Im reading now – should be on my faves)

This is not my life. (very very angsty and awesome!!)

The Red Line. (o dare god you will love whore Edward, well at least I do.)


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